Korean wedding
The Marriage ( Korean 결혼 gyeolhon ) in South Korea is one of the most important rites of passage ( 통과 의례 tonggwauirye ) into adult life. Since time immemorial the social status plays a crucial role and the family exerts great influence, both before and during the marriage. Entirely traditional weddings are rare these days, most celebrations are similar to western weddings. Often, after the big wedding in the western style, a separate, small, traditional ceremony is celebrated in the closest circle of the family.
Legal framework
Marriage in South Korea is a union between a man and a woman, which all those who have completed their 18th year may enter into. A man and a woman who have not yet reached the age of 18 may marry with the consent of their parents or legal guardian.
Traditional wedding
In South Korea marriage is not only understood as the union of two individuals. The family already plays a major role when choosing a partner, as marriage also symbolizes a bond between the two families. A family meeting is mandatory before an engagement is announced.
Procedure and ceremonies
Before the wedding
Before the wedding takes place, according to tradition, there are several steps that precede it.
First a suitable partner is found with the help of coupling ( 의혼 , uihon ). For this purpose, matchmakers are often consulted who find out about possible families. The level of education, social status and family ancestry are important. When a promising partner has been found, the parents meet and they also get to know the potential bride or groom. However, the two individuals to be married do not meet before the wedding, according to tradition. If the groom's family sends a letter with a wedding proposal to the bride's parents and they accept, the wedding is decided and the next steps can be initiated.
Next, a date has to be set ( 납채 , napchae ). After the groom's family receives the bride's family's approval, they send a so-called saju ( 사주 ). This letter contains the groom's date of birth according to the lunar calendar. The information contained in the Sa-ju is entrusted to a fortune-teller, who determines a suitable date for the wedding. The date is then sent to the groom's family by letter (연길, yeon-gil).
The last step before the wedding is the exchange of precious gifts (납폐, nab-pye). Presents are given to the bride in a box called a ham (함). The messenger, Ham-jin-a-bi (함진 아비), who brings this box, is accompanied by a small group of close friends. The group also receives rice cakes filled with red beans (봉치 떡, bong-chi-ddeok) for the other family. With a small celebration, as well as food and drinks, the bearers are received by the bride's family and thus rewarded for their efforts.
There are usually three items in the ham. The wedding document (혼서지 honseoji ) wrapped in black silk is handed over, which gives the name of the sender and the reason for the sending (marriage). That was a symbol of the woman's loyalty to a single man, she should keep the Honseoji for life and be buried with it. The second gift is a chae-dan (채단), a collection of red and blue fabrics used to make clothing. The red fabric is wrapped with blue threads, while the blue fabric is wrapped in red threads. The combination of the two colors represents the Eum / Yang (Yin / Yang) philosophy. Finally, another collection of other valuables (혼수, hon-su) is presented, which the parents of the groom want to give to the bride.
Wedding ceremony
The first part of a traditional wedding is the greeting of the groom by the bride's family (친 영례, chin-yeong-rye). According to tradition, the wedding takes place in the bride's house. The groom hands the bride's mother a wooden mandarin duck, which, among other things, is supposed to symbolize loyalty, since ducks have the same partner for life.
After that, the future spouses meet for the first time. A certain sequence of bows (교배례, gyo-bae-rye) between the bride and groom are performed, which expresses the bond that has developed between the couple.
As the last ceremony, the newlyweds drink from a common cup. Helpers keep refilling while the bride and groom take turns drinking. Then the couple bow three times, once for the parents, for their ancestors and once for the guests.
After the wedding
The last ceremony is called Pye-baek (폐백). This part of the traditional wedding is still today, after a western wedding, celebrated in a small family circle. According to an old custom, this is the first time the bride meets her in-laws. A bowing ritual is performed in which the couple bows to the family members present (usually the parents). The couple and their parents are seated at a low table with dates and chestnuts on it. The parents now throw the dates and chestnuts into the air and the bridal couple tries to catch them with the long sleeves of the traditional dress. The number of fruits caught should represent how many children the bride will have. The groom then piggybacks the bride around the table twice to show that he can support her.
Wedding dress
Women
The traditional Korean clothing is called Hanbok ( 한복 ). Nowadays it is only worn on special occasions, such as a wedding.
Before they get married, young women often wear a red chi-ma (치마, long skirt) and a yellow jeo-go-ri (저고리), a long-sleeved, short-cut jacket resembling a bolero. When the young bride meets her in-laws after the wedding, she switches to a green jacket instead.
Men
The clothing for men also consists of a jacket, which is cut longer, and a pair of wide pants (바지, ba-ji) that are tied at the ankle. Both men and women can wear a kind of overcoat (두루마기, du-ru-ma-gi).
Modern wedding
There has been a trend towards western-style weddings in South Korea for several decades.
procedure
Contrary to most western customs, the wedding does not take place in a church, but in a so-called wedding hall. There wedding rooms and a restaurant with a buffet are available. Usually these wedding rooms are located in large buildings in which several weddings take place simultaneously. The ceremonies are usually over after 30 minutes. For the preparation and organization, the bride and groom usually employ a wedding planner or they book additional services such as clothing, catering, make-up and the like with the wedding location.
In the short wedding ceremony, the bride wears a white wedding dress and the groom a black suit. Then wedding pictures are taken with family and close friends, the wedding cake is cut and the bridal bouquet is thrown. The bride and groom often have a team of photographers at their disposal who record the course of the preparations and the ceremony throughout the day. It is also common for the bride to have a trained beautician with her at all times in order to always look her best.
After the ceremony, the bride and groom and the guests go together to the dining hall, where a buffet is offered. Typical here are Korean dishes such as mandu , dumplings filled with meat or vegetables, gimbap , Korean sushi or bulgogi , thinly sliced, marinated meat. The various wedding parties usually dine together in the spacious restaurant.
After the modern wedding, the traditional ceremony, Pyebaek , is held in the close circle of the family . Guests who are not closely related are not allowed here. The ceremony includes bowing rituals and symbolizes the union of the two families. Traditional clothing, hanbok, is worn and can be rented from lenders (including the wedding hall).
Wedding present
The bride and groom usually receive gifts of money from their guests. Depending on whether you were invited by the groom or the bride, the money will be accepted by an appropriate representative. Upon arrival and registration of the guests in the foyer, the envelope is handed in and both the name and the amount given are noted. So that the recipients can give back a corresponding amount in the future. The amount depends on how well you know the bride and groom, in general you can expect a sum between KRW 30,000 and KRW 50,000.
Other types of marriages
Same sex marriages
Same-sex marriages are not legally recognized in Korea, nor are registered partnerships allowed.
Thus, in same-sex partnerships, you have no rights such as tax and marriage laws. This became clear when, in 2004, a homosexual woman wanted to sue for a share of her property from her long-standing relationship that had broken up. In court, however, she was given no rights, as these tax and marriage laws can only be applied to officially married couples, which was not the case with her and her partner.
Contrary to the law, the two South Korean filmmakers Kimjo Gwang-soo and Kim Seung-hwan publicly tied the knot in September 2013. The wedding was briefly interrupted by a 54-year-old man, strictly Christian, who spoke out against homosexuality and described it as a sin.
International marriages
In recent years, the number of mixed marriages in Korea has continued to decrease. In 2014 there was a 9.5% decrease in international marriages, according to Statistics Korea, with only 24,387 marriages between Koreans and foreigners, accounting for 8% of the total marriages of the year in Korea. A consequence of the efforts of the Korean government to make it difficult to qualify for mixed marriages. Criteria such as the foreign partner's Korean language skills and the annual income of the Korean partner are increasingly being considered before a marriage visa is issued.
International marriages between older Korean bachelors who find their often younger brides in Southeast Asian countries through matchmakers are widespread. The stronger regulations are also intended to serve the purpose of protecting women from underdeveloped countries who are married through intermediaries to South Korea. Because many of those affected suffer from the conditions of arranged marriages, often prematurely concluded.
Many well-known Korean personalities also have mixed marriages, such as Korean actress Chae Rim, who married Chinese actor Gao Xingqi in October 2014. The two met while filming a Chinese drama in which they also played a married couple. The comedian Jung Joon Ha married the Japanese flight attendant Nina Yagi in May 2012, whom he met on a flight. Since March 2013 the two have also had a son, Ro Ha.
divorce
A decade ago, divorce was a taboo subject in South Korea. Because if the wedding is seen as the most important event in life, then the divorce is a great shame. From the 17th century onwards, divorce was considered a blemish, especially for women. Since the 19th century there has been a change in society as love marriage became more common. Since the 1990s, the divorce rate has increased by about 0.5% per year. In 2006 it was already the country with the third highest divorce rate in the world. Because of the previous stigma against divorced women, it is noteworthy that more than half of the divorces were filed by women in 2003, which again illustrates the change since the 17th century.
There are two types of divorce in South Korea. On the one hand the consensual and on the other hand the judicial divorce.
Divorce by mutual consent
In order to obtain a mutual divorce, the couple must indicate to the family court that they want a divorce. Certain documents are required, including the wedding certificate, IDs and, should children be involved, a written agreement (or court decision) on custody and guardianship. Couples therapy or counseling is recommended to the couple first.
After all the necessary documents have been submitted, the couple will receive instruction on the divorce process. About a month later, the divorce decree will be pronounced. If the couple have children it can be up to 3 months before the divorce becomes final. Within three months of receiving the confirmation, the couple must submit a (notarized) certified copy to the local authorities. There is a processing fee of around 50,000 KRW (approx. 40 euros) for the divorce.
Divorce in court
Judicial divorce, on the other hand, tends to be more expensive for both parties as lawyers are brought in to negotiate the terms of the divorce. The duration is also a lot longer, many court hearings can only be scheduled up to a year later. Reasons for a judicial divorce can include abuse by the partner (and their relatives), as well as a partner who has been reported missing for three years.
In the movie
- My Little Bride ( 어린 신부 Eorin Sinbu ). Director: Kim Ho-jun. ROK 2004.
- The Korean wedding chest . Director: Ulrike Ottinger . FRG 2008.
literature
- Laurel Kendall: Getting Married in Korea: Of Gender, Morality and Modernity. University of California Press, 1996, ISBN 0-520-20200-7 (English).
Web links
Individual evidence
- ^ Law website South Korea. 1st Civil Act - February 04, 2016 - Sections 807 & 808. Government of South Korea, accessed January 26, 2017 .
- ↑ melkimx: Korean Weddings 101: A Basic Guide to Wedding Customs in Korea. In: Soompi. June 2, 2015, accessed January 24, 2017 .
- ^ Life in Korea - Before the Ceremony. Retrieved January 26, 2017 (English).
- ^ Life in Korea - Traditional Ceremony. Retrieved January 27, 2017 (English).
- ↑ An Introduction to Marriage Customs. Retrieved January 29, 2017 .
- ^ Korean Culture and Information Service: Guide to Korean Culture . Hollym International Corporation, Elizabeth, NJ 2010, ISBN 978-1-56591-287-8 , pp. 123 .
- ^ Life in Korea - Men's Clothing. Retrieved January 27, 2017 (English).
- ↑ a b c worknplay.co.kr, An Introduction to Marriage Customs, accessed on January 28, 2017 (English).
- ↑ blog.aclipse.net, What is a modern Korean wedding like? Read one ex-pat's experience! , accessed on January 28, 2017.
- ↑ queer.de, gay weddings illegal in Korea , accessed on January 26, 2017.
- ↑ koreaobserver.com, Korea celebrates first public gay wedding . accessed on January 26, 2017 (English).
- ↑ a b koreatimes.com, Multicultural marriages decreasing , accessed on January 26, 2017.
- ↑ dramafever.com, 13 Korean celebrities in an international relationship , accessed on January 26, 2017.
- ↑ Divorce Rates in Korea. KBS World Radio, accessed January 28, 2017 .
- ↑ a b Getting a Divorce - South-Korea - korea4expats. Retrieved January 29, 2017 .
- ↑ Getting a Divorce in Korea. Retrieved January 29, 2017 .