Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Silent Hill 4: The Room/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates‎ | Silent Hill 4: The Room

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Ashnard (talk | contribs) at 10:10, 25 November 2007 (Critique.). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Silent Hill 4: The Room

Just passed GA, and I want to see if it meets the criteria yet. My apologies for being unable to find much other information of commercial reaction and development. Lenin and McCarthy | (Complain here) 01:49, 22 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose - The article is not comprehensive. There are no sales figures, the reception section does not take into account the Japanese reaction. - hahnchen 18:15, 22 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I couldn't find any figures, and I checked the sources that other FA games used, and most of those don't have a lot of Japanese critical reaction information either. --Lenin and McCarthy | (Complain here) 15:57, 23 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: Please, if you're captions aren't full sentences, then a full-stop (period) isn't required. I'll modify this now. Ashnard Talk Contribs 16:10, 23 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Full critique from User: Ashnard :

  • "The Room was released onto multiple platforms consisting of the Sony PlayStation 2, Microsoft Xbox and PC". By "The Room" are you abbreviating the title? If so, why break the trend when the rest of the article states "Silent Hill 4"?
  • "Unlike the previous installments, this game is set in the fictional town of South Ashfield" this means nothing to the readers who know nothing of the series. How is this town different?
  • Lead is insufficient for FA; expand info about gameplay, and include "development" and "music" info. Should be able to summarise the article completely.
  • "Henry Townshend" can you provide a link to a character list or article? If not, explain who he is. Do this for any other characters.
  • You need to specify your rationales; for example, instead of "fair-use rationale", it should be "fair-use rationale for Silent Hill 4".
  • "Silent Hill 4: The Room was originally envisioned as a spinoff of the Silent Hill series". Envisioned by whom? It may be obvious, but please specify.
  • "which the player navigates through a first-person perspective and contains their only save point". This reads awkwardly.
  • The last two sentences of this paragraph read awkwardly—try merging into one sentence and removing "also" as it's redundant. Ommit any usage of "also" unless the word's necessary.
  • Some missing commas, for example "In the main levels of the game the player uses the usual third person perspective of the Silent Hill series." Comma should go after "game". This is a general tren throughout the article.
  • "While gun combat is not emphasized, a feature is added that allows melee attacks to be "charged" before they are launched". What? Confusing.
  • "One of the most significant changes is the introduction of the "Victim" monsters, the unkillable ghosts of Walter Sullivan's victims." Change "unkillable" to "impervious" and add something like "which are" after the comma.
  • The prose tends to assume that the reader knows the game with subject-specific terminology like "the holy candle". Please explain these things.
  • "Ghosts can also be knocked down for a long time with one of the two silver bullets and pinned permanently with a Sword of Obedience item." This is incoherent and bordering on game-guide content.
  • Delete the last paragraph in this section; it's completely game-guide info.

I'm saving the page now&mdasg;will resume critique later. Ashnard Talk Contribs 10:10, 25 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Silent_Hill_4:_The_Room/archive1&oldid=173657292"