Love-shyness

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The term love-shyness (about love-shyness ) was the American psychologist Brian G. Gilmartin embossed and describes a particular form of chronic shyness . According to the definition, which he published in his book Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatments in 1987 , it is difficult for those affected by love-shyness to come into their own in a positive way towards potential sexual partners. In particular, it is often impossible for those affected to start a conversation with people who are perceived as attractive due to strong feelings of fear.

Gilmartin has investigated the phenomenon in heterosexual men and has come to the conclusion that love-shyness affects approximately 1.5 percent of all US men and thus prevents approximately 1.7 million US men from marrying or having intimate contact with women.

Gilmartin's definition

Gilmartin has six criteria for every "love shy" man he examined in his study; Are defined:

  • He is a virgin, which means he has never had sexual intercourse.
  • He is a man who very rarely goes out with women.
  • He has no experience of romantic relationships. (see Absolute Beginners )
  • He suffers from his lack of amorous experiences.
  • He suffers from fears that keep him from approaching women. This is the essential point of love-shyness.
  • He's straight.

Gilmartin has not ruled out the existence of female or homosexual love shyness sufferers, but has questioned that they experience the same negative effects as their heterosexual male co-sufferers, and assumed that this condition manifests itself differently in them - mainly due to the social role distribution that Forcing heterosexual men into the “active” role in establishing relationships.

Results of Gilmartin's investigation

According to Gilmartin, people of all ages, races, genders, and sexual orientations can be love shy. Above all, according to Gilmartin, it is mainly heterosexual men who are affected by love shyness. He studied 200 love-shy college students (ages 19-24), 100 older love-shy men (ages 35-50), and a comparison group of 200 "non-shy" students. Gilmartin did not intend to portray the non-shy men as the typical man, and they were only recruited if they were very socially active.

literature

Book editions

  • Brian G. Gilmartin (2015). Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment . University Press of America, 2015. ISBN 978-0761865575 (Slightly abridged new edition)
  • Brian G. Gilmartin (1989). The Shy Man Syndrome: Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It . ISBN 0-8191-7009-7 (heavily abridged version of the original edition)
  • Brian G. Gilmartin (1987). Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment . University Press of America, 1987. ISBN 0-8191-6102-0 (original edition)

Essays

  • Brian G. Gilmartin (1987). "Peer group antecedents of severe love-shyness in males". Journal of Personality 55 : 467-89.
  • Brian G. Gilmartin (1985). "Some Family Antecedents of Severe Shyness in Males". Family Relations 34 : 429-438.

review

  • Elizabeth Rice Allgeier (1988). Book Review: Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment . Journal of Sex Research 25 (2): 309-315.

See also

Web links