Absent Friends (Dad's Army)

032 – Absent Friends
Script	Jimmy Perry and David Croft
Director	David Croft
Producer	David Croft
Recorded	Friday 7/8/70
Original transmission	Friday 30/10/70 8.00pm
Series	Four
Length	30 minutes
Original Viewing Figures	13.9 million
Preceded by	Sergeant - Save My Boy!
Followed by	Put that Light Out!

Absent Friends is the sixth episode of the fourth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army that was originally transmitted on Friday 30 October 1970.

Synopsis

Taking advantage of Captain Mainwaring's absence, the platoon take part in a pub darts match against the ARP wardens...

Plot

Template:Spoilers Wilson is singing to himself in Mainwaring's office. Suddenly, Mainwaring enters, which is a shock to Wilson, as Mainwaring had gone to a Lodge meeting for the weekend. Wilson asks if it was cancelled, but Mainwaring admits he didn't go after all. Elizabeth doesn't like being in the house on her own during air raids. He offers to inspect the men, but Wilson is a bit cagey.

Pike enters, not in uniform. He admits that his mother put it in the washtub. Mainwaring is annoyed, but agrees to let it pass this once. He tells Wilson to ask Jones to call the roll, which he does. However, most of them are not there... in fact, it's only Jones and Pike on parade! Mainwaring isn't very impressed, and asks Wilson where his men are. Wilson admits they are all in the pub, playing darts against Hodges' wardens. Mainwaring agrees to turn a blind eye, as long as Wilson brings the men back straight away.

Meanwhile, at the match, things are not going well for the Home Guard. The wardens are clearly winning. Suddenly, Mrs Pike enters and Hodges offers her a drink. While he is at the bar, Wilson arrives and tries to persuade the men to return. He then spots Mrs Pike and wonders what she's doing there. He is accidentally bumped by Hodges, who quickly makes his excuses and scurries off. Wilson leaves in a daze.

Mainwaring receives a phone call from Elizabeth, asking him to get her some off-ration ox tail for him. He tries to explain it's against his principles, but Elizabeth refuses to listen. Mainwaring calls Jones into the office to ask him about the ox tail, and his wife's craving for it, but crossed wires result in Jones believing he will help to deliver Elizabeth's child!

Mainwaring is annoyed when Wilson returns, saying he thinks he's brought the men back, but he hasn't. He and Jones will go with Wilson back to the pub and if they fail to bring the men back, Wilson can consider himself under open arrest.

At the match, things are going from bad to worse for the platoon. Things are made worse when Mainwaring, Wilson and Jones enter. Mainwaring tries to persuade the men to return to the hall, with little success. Wilson also tries to persuade Mrs Pike to leave, but it's no use. Mainwaring leaves, very hurt and ashamed of his men. As they leave, Godfrey confides in Walker and Frazer that he doesn't think they've done the right thing, and leaves. Walker seems on the point of returning too, but Hodges persuades him to play darts.

Back at the church hall, Mainwaring confides in Wilson that the parade is the highlight of his day. While he's having his tea, he can feel excitement mounting inside him, but not any more. Wilson is distracted by Mrs Pike's interest in Hodges, and doesn't listen. They receive a phone call from the police, informing that an IRA suspect has been spotted in Ivy Crescent.

They meet the lone police constable outside the house of the suspect, and prepare to grab him. However, the man they grab claims to be the suspect's twin brother. Mainwaring isn't convinced, and marches him back to the church hall.

The ARP Wardens win the darts match, and Walker is reluctant to stay any longer. He would prefer to go back to the church hall, because he didn't like the look on Mainwaring's face when he left. Hodges decides to come too, taking Mrs Pike with him.

Not long after the small group return with the suspect, Godfrey returns to the hall, unbeknownst to the men, and falls asleep. Suddenly, a rough man grabs Godfrey by the collar, and asks him where Mainwaring's suspect has been taken. Godfrey bluffs the three men into believing that he and Mainwaring are in the dressing room.

Godfrey informs Mainwaring of the predicament, and Mainwaring orders Pike to fetch the rest of the men. Godfrey informs Mainwaring that he's locked all the doors. The Verger enters with an empty bottle, evidently panicking. In the heat of the moment, he ends up knocking out the suspect with the glass bottle!

The rest of the platoon return, and rush to attack the Irishmen, but with little success. Pike enters with a bleeding lip, and Mrs Pike persuades Wilson to sort them out. The door closes, and Mainwaring and Jones think that Wilson has received a good beating. They are, therefore, shocked when Wilson enters without a scratch on him! Hodges is terrified and leaves.

Some time later, Mainwaring forgives the men for their lapse in behaviour, and confirms to the platoon, that Jones was wrong about Mrs Mainwaring. They will not be having a child in the near future, and their marriage is quite blissful as it is.

Cast

Cast	Characters
Arthur Lowe	Captain Mainwaring
John Le Mesurier	Sergeant Wilson
Clive Dunn	Lance Corporal Jones
John Laurie	Private Frazer
James Beck	Private Walker
Arnold Ridley	Private Godfrey
Ian Lavender	Private Pike
Bill Pertwee	ARP Warden
Janet Davies	Mrs Pike
Edward Sinclair	Verger
J G Devlin	Regan
Arthur English	Policeman
Patrick Connor	Shamus
Verne Morgan	Landlord
Michael Lomax	2nd ARP Warden