Pseudo-feeling
The term pseudo-feeling comes from the terminology of psychology and was coined by Marshall B. Rosenberg and Erich Fromm . The pseudo-feeling represents a real feeling that is , however, falsified by one's own perception . It therefore rather expresses a thought, an interpretation, while the actual feeling experienced in the body remains unspoken. A pseudo-feeling always includes a perpetrator, which implies that someone else is responsible for the speaker's feeling. With that the other is judged. According to Marshall Rosenberg, however, the responsibility for a feeling and the need behind it always rests with the individual. Pseudo feelings can be recognized by the phrase “I have the feeling that ...” while real feelings in the German language can always be expressed with “I am ...” instead of “I feel ...”.
Examples
Since pseudo-feelings are thoughts, there may be different feelings and needs behind them, which do not necessarily result from the original formulation. Here are a few examples and possible translations:
- "You make me feel like I'm worthless ." = "I am depressed and anxious because appreciation is important to me."
- "You neglect me." = "I feel lonely and need some company."
- "I feel provoked." = "I'm angry because I need respect"
- "I have the feeling you want to shirk." = "I am worried because support is important to me."
- "I feel exploited." = "I'm angry because I need respect and consideration!"
- "I feel totally under pressure." = "I am very tense because I would like to make my decision myself and at my own pace."
The idea behind the term pseudo-feeling is that it is helpful to refrain from condemning the other person by expressing a pseudo-feeling or using a reproachful tone of voice in order to be responsible for one's own needs. The communicative intention behind the desire to condemn the other can be expressed more effectively by following the formulation of the underlying feelings and needs with a precise and achievable request. However, this assumes that the other person has pure intentions, which is not always the case.