So lonely
The novel So lonely (original title: Hjärtans fröjd ) by Per Nilsson is about a Swedish youth who tries to deal with a relationship crisis.
The book was translated into several languages and was awarded the German Youth Literature Prize in 1997 in the “Youth Book” category. In 2007 a sequel to the book was published with the title The Return of Hjärtans Fröjd .
action
On a Saturday evening, the main character, a boy whose name is unknown, who is called "he" by the narrator, sits in front of the desk. He is home alone and his mother and sister have gone to their vacation home without him. In front of him on the desk are some things that he associates with his first great love. He wants to destroy these memories. They return:
He noticed her for the first time on the bus in September. Her red hair enchants him. He falls in love instantly and calls her "heart comfort". A few months later they start talking and he learns that her name is Ann-Katrin. They meet on the bus every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday until mid-spring. He sees in their conversations a game that is only meant for two.
One day when she forgets her German grammar on the bus, he has a reason to visit her. They meet more often, and after a while, when the parents are once again away, they spend the first night together.
Soon afterwards he has to go to the USA for four weeks. He was actually looking forward to it, but he misses her and since he has known Ann-Katrin, he wants to get back as soon as possible. He writes her twelve long letters and also sends her all the poems and thoughts that revolve around her.
When he gets home he can't wait to see her again and immediately runs to her. Drunk with sleep and surprised because she has not yet expected him, she opens the door for him. When she wants to talk to him in the kitchen, a strange man comes out of her bedroom. His name is Hans-Peter and he comes from Switzerland. The boy just calls him "Nazi Hans".
When he learns that they are planning a visit to the cinema, he invites himself and accompanies them. He can't do anything with Ann-Katrin's behavior and only understands after they have separated that he was superfluous.
Since then he has not laughed any more and refuses any help. Ann-Katrin is also unsuccessful with him. When he realizes that his self-pity is not getting him anywhere, he changes. When Ann-Katrin asks if she should call him when she gets back from her sailing vacation, he agrees.
When the phone rings, he first wants to take away from Ann-Katrin any hope of a relationship. But he doesn't pick up the phone and whispers that he loves her.