Anonymous sex and love addicts

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Anonymous sex and love addicts (English: Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, internationally abbreviated SLAA) is an international self-help group. It belongs to the American Augustine Fellowship and is organized as a registered association in Germany. It offers help in the form of a twelve-step program for people who suffer from sex addiction, extreme emotional dependency (love addiction [1]) and / or excessive, addictive escape from thoughts in sexual or romantic fantasies. In German-speaking countries there are around 60 local groups [2] in which those affected meet regularly.

The basis of the group work is a twelve-step program as used by Alcoholics Anonymous, adapted for sex and love addiction. Spirituality is an important part of the program, and SLAA is not confessional or religious. There are no guidelines or guidelines for the members as to what this spirituality should look like.

According to the SLAA founding myth, Rich created the first SLAA group after breaking free from an extramarital affair. Rich was familiar with the Alcoholics Anonymous program and applied that program to his own situation, identifying himself with the term sex and love addiction. Rich has visited the German-speaking community several times and supported it with the foundation.

The book Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous contains Rich's story of how he used the 12-step program to break out of this affair and find a reconciliation with his wife. The story of his wife Kate is also reported.

The basis of the group work is a twelve-step program as used by Alcoholics Anonymous , adapted for sex and love addiction. Spirituality is an important part of the program, and SLAA is not confessional or religious. There are no guidelines or guidelines for the members as to what this spirituality should look like.

history

  • In 1976, the group Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) was founded in Boston (USA) by dry alcoholics , which an analogy between the substance-related addiction z. B. after alcohol or other drugs and the non-substance-related addiction to love or sex .
  • In 1984 the first German group was formed in Munich .
  • In 1986 the book "Anonymous Sex and Love Addicts", translated into German, appeared with Rich's life story, Kate's story, a variety of other recovery stories, an interpretation of Alcoholics Anonymous' 12-step program explicitly in relation to sex and love addiction and a chapter on withdrawal. Instructions are also given on how to start groups.

Worldview

The starting point of the SLAA's worldview is the diagnosis of sex and love addiction as a chronic disease. The fight against sex and love addiction as non-substance-related addiction is outlined in the twelve-step program, in analogy to the substance addiction of alcoholism as in Alcoholics Anonymous. Other core elements of the SLAA's program are anonymity, sincere honesty, abstinence, volunteering and spirituality.

The meeting of a self-help group is called a "meeting".

Sex and love addiction as a disease

Sex and love addicts identify with the concept of illness and equate their non-material addiction with physical addiction. This is conveyed by the body's own hormones that are triggered by sexual acts or fantasies, which in turn trigger addicting "kicks".

In analogy to alcoholism, addiction to sex and love, if left untreated, is defined as a fatal, chronic disease. In this context, both a risk of suicide and an increased risk of contracting fatal sexually transmitted diseases can be seen.

In the course of the conversion of the ICD-10 to the ICD-11, sex addiction will find its way into the diagnostic psychiatric manuals with the introduction of the ICD-11 and thus also recognized as a disease from the medical and psychological point of view.

Twelve-step program

→ Main article: Twelve-Step Program

The reorientation towards abstinence is based on the twelve-step program. In the course of the program, an identity transformation takes place: SLAA followers see themselves as sex and love addicts and reinterpret their past in this light. Previously apparently normal behaviors such as affairs, falls in love, romances are now interpreted as an expression of the disease.

The first three steps of the twelve-step program emphasize the need for surrender and the relationship between power and powerlessness. The thesis is represented that uncontrolled sex and love addiction z. B. in the form of consumption of Internet pornography, affairs, romances, anonymous sex, visits to prostitution and the like. a. would lead to loss of control. [13] The following six steps include suggestions for dealing with this loss of control openly and spiritually; Particular emphasis is placed on maintaining interpersonal relationships. [13] The last three steps then aim to stabilize moral conversion and abstinence behavior. [13]

Identity Constructions

A characteristic common language is maintained in the self-help groups, which contributes to identification with the group and the path to recovery. Discussions are avoided, each person speaks only for himself. One element of these narratives is turning to SLAA at a time when the person concerned is in a deep life crisis. Typical examples are job loss, serious family problems, serious accidents, major financial problems, e.g. B. by spending money on sex or pornography for sale. Following the Twelve Steps to Personal Recovery, Twelve Traditions have evolved for the community level.

anonymity

Anonymity is a foundation of community and should always be a reminder to put principles above people. Anonymity in this context is an essential and defining part of the twelve traditions that govern the life of the AA community. It has three main reasons:

   The anonymity is intended to protect the individual against his affiliation to SLAA becoming known to the public. The anonymity of all members must be preserved and protected with special care. The anonymity avoids addressing social differences within the groups.

   The anonymity is intended to ensure in public that individual members do not appear with their full identity so as not to endanger the spiritual basis of the SLAA.

spirituality

Spirituality and transcendence are important but controversial elements of the SLAA community. These elements are often used to demonstrate the religious character of the SLAA and AAs. SLAA sees itself as non-denominational. The SLAA and AAs traditions, however, are rooted in Christian Protestantism; AA is particularly successful in traditionally Protestant countries.

Some SLAA and AA observers go so far as to suggest that the fellowship of the 12 Step Groups is a religion. AA only denies this for utilitarian reasons, so as not to deter atheists and agnostics. In another study, little evidence was found for comparing the AA with religious cults.

Volunteering

With the exception of a few paid employees in the central contact points, the entire activity in SLAA is carried out on a purely voluntary basis.

Today, SLAA is an established international network of self-help groups in the nonprofit sector.

organization

SLAA has no formal membership. Formal hierarchical roles, such as that of a meeting secretary, are mostly only filled in for a short time. Overall, both SLAA and AA are shaped by an ideology of egalitarianism, which gives both local groups and individuals strong autonomy.

All groups receive themselves exclusively from their own donations and refuse external financial contributions.

Structure of membership

Due to the informality of the membership, exact membership numbers cannot be ascertained; SLAA itself does not speak of members internally, but of members: Everyone who has the wish to stop acting out a sex- and love-addicted behavior pattern is a member, whereby everyone defines this behavior pattern himself; he does not need to be abstinent for this.

There are surveys, but their representativeness is questionable. Based on these surveys, z. B. assumed a proportion of women of about 1/3.

Structure of the services

In principle, each group is autonomous. For things that also affect other groups or all groups, supraregional groups and services are formed. Each group can choose people they trust who take on certain services for the individual group (e.g. locksmith and treasurer). The individual group is represented externally by its “group spokesperson”. Depending on the number of groups, the group spokespersons meet in so-called "regional groups", the regional representatives (or regional spokespersons) meet at regular intervals for an "intergroup meeting". The “intergroups” elect “intergroup spokespersons” as well as other shop stewards and clerks from among their number. Because the service of the "intergroup speaker" is a special trust position, the "intergroup speaker" represents the relevant intergroup at the intergroup work meeting. A few members of this intergroup have formed a sponsoring association.

The intergroup meetings take place every six months in German-speaking countries.

No service holder has power or authority over any member. All committees can only make recommendations to their members.

In practice, the services of the associations are chosen in their own meetings, which usually meet three to four times a year. Then the elected are formally accepted into the association (in a further election of the association). Those recorded in this way lose their anonymity. According to their statutes, the associations have the task of managing the business of the SLAA and representing it legally.

Forms of action

Meetings

The most important therapeutic form of action of SLAA as with AA are the so-called meetings, regular meetings of local groups. They are characterized by longer monologues between the beginning and ending rituals, in which participants share their personal experiences with the consumption of z. Examples include sex for sale, Internet pornography, indiscriminate affairs and romances, anonymous sex or excessive masturbation. These narratives strengthen one's own identity as an abstinent (or abstinent) sex and love addict.

The monologues are mostly related to the previous speakers in an affirmative way. [25] Verbalized dissent is rare, but important to resolve biographically based cognitive dissonances. [25] The affirmation is important in order to strengthen the collective individualities and thus promote solidarity. [26] Dissent, on the other hand, would only be brought forward cautiously and mostly indirectly.

In addition, there are a few German-language mail and chat meetings in which, based on the course of the personal meetings, sex and love addicts exchange ideas (there is also such an offer in many other languages).

public relation

In public relations, e.g. B. in clinics, anonymous sex and love addicts offer to describe their personal recovery path. These services are carried out on a voluntary basis, whereby great importance is always attached to the anonymity of the members. Contacts are made through the service office, which acts as a contact point in German-speaking countries.

Clinics

Several psychosomatic clinics are based on the "12 steps" and work according to the Bad Herrenalber model by Walther H. Lechler. They encourage their patients to participate in the support groups, but they have no direct connection and are not part of the SLAA or AA, which do not receive financial support for using the "12 steps".

In addition to these clinics (around 3 nationwide), almost all clinics that treat addicts recommend visiting self-help groups such as AA or NA or SLAA. Information meetings are held in the respective facilities to provide an insight into the approach of the SLAA.

Critics of the twelve-step clinics point out that new patients are recruited from the pool of the SLAA and other twelve-step groups for commercial interests by adopting the disease model alcoholism or sex and love addiction. The "Hazelden" clinics in the USA, which were founded by two AA members, are an obvious model for this type of patient recruitment.

Family disease

→ Main articles: Al-Anon and Alateen

Relatives and close friends of sex and love addicts are often considered to be sick in the sense of SLAA. They align their own life to that of the sex and love addict. The consumption of z. B. commercial sex or internet pornography or the accumulation of affairs and romances is initially downplayed towards third parties and inappropriate behavior is excused. The addict is relieved of obligations and consequences are spared as far as possible.

There are several groups for relatives who identify with the term "co-sex addiction" or "co-dependency". These groups work on the same principle as AA, they use the same twelve-step program.

Efficiency

About half of all new members leave SLAA after a few meetings; two thirds of the remaining members remain permanently abstinent.

Alternatives

Another self-help group that deals with sex addiction and also works according to the 12-step program are Sex Addicts Anonymous. The main difference to SLAA is a uniform rule of abstinence for all members of the group, namely not to engage in any sexual acts outside of marriage.

Point of view of psychologists and doctors

Especially among clinical doctors and psychologists, SLAA is either unpopular or largely unknown because of its spiritual components.

literature

  • The book "Anonymous sex and love addicts", self-published by SLAA.
  • "Bottomlines" brochure, self-published by SLAA.
  • Brochure "Addiction and Recovery", self-published by SLAA.
  • Brochure "Questions that new people ask", self-published by SLAA.
  • Brochure "The SLAA Group, self-published by SLAA.

Web links

Individual evidence