Codependency

Co-dependency describes a socio-medical concept according to which some caregivers of an addict (for example, as co-alcoholics) additionally promote their addiction through their actions or omissions or suffer from it themselves in a special way. Their behavior, in turn, contains addictive aspects.

Co-dependency also describes the behavior of people with a relationship disorder, in which they make themselves dependent on other people in general, independent of a specific person or an addict. In self-help groups for Anonymous Co-Dependents (CoDA) , those affected share their experiences and learn to look after their own lives responsibly.

It is debatable whether codependency can be classified as a dependent or a mixed personality disorder (ICD-10: F60). Not all codependent behavior is pathological.

Behaviors in relation to addicts

Examples of co-dependency are work colleagues who cover up and compensate for the underperformance of a colleague due to drunkenness, family members who finance the consumption of addictive substances or report the addict to the employer sick, friends who legitimize the consumption, for example at joint celebrations, or doctors who do not use the correct drugs Prescribe indication. You make yourself an accomplice of the addict, so to speak. Co-dependent behavior reduces the addict's suffering and thus extends the duration of the illness and suffering.

Co-dependency can have three phases:

1. In the protector phase , the addict experiences special care and compassion in the hope that he can overcome his addiction on his own.
2. In the control phase, the caregivers take over the addict's tasks and problems, thereby covering up the addiction from third parties.
3. The indictment phase is characterized by increasing aggression and contempt for the patient. In the end, the codependent can become completely helpless.

Addiction and helper role

Addicts typically behave manipulatively . It is part of the essence of a trained addiction that the addict does everything to be able to continue living out his addiction. If this is not possible without the help of third parties, e.g. B. because the financial means are insufficient, the addict will sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously seek help from third parties, thereby entangling others in co-dependent behavior.

The codependent has his own motives. By caring for the addict, he is also avoiding worrying about his own life. From a psychoanalytical point of view, co-dependent behavior is a form of defense against one's own fearful needs and feelings. The helper syndrome is a particularly pronounced form of this defense. Codependents often make the addict the focus of their lives. To some extent, they first experience the recognition of their surroundings. They take on the helper role to the point of complete self-denial. So it happens B. on financial over-indebtedness trying to help a heroin addict. As a result of such co-dependency, the children can suffer, for example due to a lack of attention or their own ability to work at work. After a breakup, the codependent often looks for an addict as a new partner, with whom he can again use his own codependency as a familiar defense pattern.

Co-addicts can, at the same time as the desire to help, experience anger or other difficult feelings about the addict and lead serious arguments, e.g. B. the amount of alcohol consumption. It is difficult for children in such relationships to acquire social skills - e.g. B. the assessment of when and how to respond appropriately to an occasion. This social insecurity is seen as a negative factor for the risk of later developing addictions in the affected children in adulthood. However, biological predispositions and the general social environment should also not be disregarded in making such conclusions.

therapy

Promising addiction therapy usually requires or goes hand in hand with the fact that relatives are able to resolve their own co-dependency. When treating addicts, it therefore makes sense to include their caregivers (partners, family members, work colleagues, etc.) in the therapy. The first step is to show the addict a way out of addiction in cooperation with his (still) intact social environment. The typical addictive behavior, to maintain the addiction “at any price”, also at the price of conscious harm to people from the close social environment, should be broken. On the other hand, it is about showing the relatives how they can support the addict in a way that is healthy for him and for himself. Developing the willingness to clearly distinguish themselves from addictive behavior is central for relatives. The aim of the demarcation is on the one hand to help the codependent to let the actual addiction affect his or her own life only to a consciously accepted and therefore limited extent. On the other hand, the demarcation should also serve to show the addict that there is no way for him to live with the addiction. Often it is only through the hopelessness of living out the addiction relatively unscathed due to external help that the real will to overcome the addiction can be awakened. Therefore, methods of effective therapy for addicts and codependents also include harsh measures such as contact bans, job termination, and even divorce.

The second step is to show the relatives the importance of codependency and to check with them to what extent they are affected by it. He can recognize which role he is taking on and how he supports the dependency. And above all what damage he inflicts himself by this behavior. This is often the first step in your own development. Self-help groups offer help for relatives and partners. There is Al-Anon for adults and Alateen for children . Together with other codependent people you learn what codependency means for your own life.

If the relative is co-dependent, he usually needs therapeutic help.

Criticism of the concept

Co-dependency is a controversial issue in addiction research. Among other things, it is criticized that there are many contradicting, imprecise definitions of terms, and that relatives, using the attribute 'co-dependent', are often completely unjustifiably defamed as culprits or perpetrators. Uhl and Puhm, for example, describe in their article that as soon as one excludes all “irrationalities, contradictions and absurdities” from the definition, codependency becomes a synonym for addictive behavior . Thus it would be more appropriate to speak of it in justified cases than to use an imprecise and stigmatizing term such as codependency.

See also

• Munchausen deputy syndrome

literature

• Monika Rennert: Codependency. What addiction means to the family. Lambertus-Verlag, Freiburg im Breisgau 2012, ISBN 978-3-7841-2089-8 .
• Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, JK Miller: Entangled in the problems of others. About the origins and effects of codependency. Kösel, Munich 1991, ISBN 3-466-30309-5 .
• Reinhold Aßfalg: The secret support of addiction: codependence. Neuland, Geesthacht 2005, ISBN 3-87581-251-4 .
• Melody Beattie : Courage to be independent. Paths to self-discovery and inner healing. The twelve-step program , Wilhelm Heyne Verlag, Munich, 1992, ISBN 3-453-07863-2 .

Web links

• Nicholas Jenner, 2013: When Co-dependency becomes Counter-dependency

Individual evidence

1. ↑ Jörg Fengler (Ed.): Handbook of addiction treatment. Hüthig Jehle Rehm, 2002, ISBN 3-609-51980-0 , pp. 100-105. ( Google book preview )
2. ↑ Waltraud Hörauf: Alcohol in the family: In the field of tension between co-dependency and resilience . Akademische Verlagsgemeinschaft München AVM, August 19, 2016, ISBN 978-3-95477-065-6 , p. 54.
3. ↑ Holger Thiel, Markus Jensen, Siegfried Traxler: Psychiatry for nursing professions. Elsevier, Urban & Fischer, 2006, ISBN 3-437-26551-2 , p. 160. ( Google book search )
4. ^ K. Raabe: The role of the partner in addiction counseling between co-dependency and support , GRIN Verlag, 2009 ISBN 3-640-28427-5 in Googlebooks
5. ^ Alfred Uhl, Alexandra Puhm: Co-dependency - a helpful concept? In: Wiener Zeitschrift für Suchtforschung , 30, 13–20, 2007. ( PDF; 139 kB ( Memento of the original dated February 2, 2014 in the Internet Archive ) Info: The archive link was inserted automatically and has not yet been checked. Please check the original and Archive link according to instructions and then remove this note. )