Ghosting (relationship)

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The term ghosting is understood in an interpersonal relationship ( partnership or friendship ) to mean a complete break in contact and communication without notice. Although dates had previously taken place or a relationship existed, all attempts at contact suddenly come to nothing.

Appearance and effect

If an unannounced loss of contact was also known before the Internet age, it has developed into a pronounced phenomenon with the increased spread of SMS , chat services and digital platforms. In a US online survey in 2014, for example, 13% of respondents reported similar experiences. The most frequent occurrence was observed in the age cohort of 18 to 29 year olds.

“ They met for several weeks, all spring [...] Sometimes they went for a walk with their dogs or together in the beer garden. They agreed to meet again next Thursday. He just wanted to let me know where they would meet. He did not answer the next Thursday. Not on Friday either. Never again. "

- (anonymous)

Possible reasons for such behavior are the inability to get involved with the partner or not being able to formulate or demand one's own needs or the fear of conflict if the end of a relationship is openly announced.

The psychotherapist Ines Schweizer makes online dating sites and dating apps jointly responsible for the ghosting: “They imply a non-commitment and arbitrariness, because so many other dating options are open to the user [...] Many young people shy away from conflict and are comfortable . By simply diving down, they can avoid this uncomfortable situation and do not risk losing face [...] At least one text message should explain that they no longer have the same feelings. "

Those affected by ghosting can experience a feeling of fundamental uncertainty or, under unfavorable circumstances, get into a deep crisis. They can also take the fear of suddenly and apparently baseless abandonment with them into subsequent relationships. Trauma and fear of loss can also occur. In particularly severe cases, serious psychological damage can occur.

literature

Web links

Individual evidence

  1. ↑ a b Die Welt : If the date suddenly never comes back from June 30, 2015, accessed on July 8, 2015
  2. ↑ Grazia : Ghosting - (No) message from Charlize Theron on July 1, 2015
  3. ↑ Glamor : Vanished without a trace , accessed on July 8, 2015
  4. ↑ YouGov online survey : "The results show that mjust over 10% of Americans have 'ghosted' someone to break up with them." from October 28, 2014
  5. ↑ The Huffington Post : 'Ghosting:' The 21st-Century Dating Problem Everyone Talks About, But No One Knows How To Deal With “Even after one or two dates they are still just a profile to you, not a person. I don't feel the normal empathy I would for someone I met organically. ”, October 31, 2014, accessed July 8, 2015
  6. ↑ a b WDR : Ghosting - When the partner suddenly disappears from July 1, 2016, accessed on July 1, 2016
  7. ↑ Dive in instead of breaking up properly on 20min.ch, July 6, 2015