The Library (Seinfeld)

The Library is a third season episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. It is famous for the character of Mr. Bookman, the library detective, played by Philip Baker Hall.

The episode was written by Larry Charles and was directed by Joshua White.

Plot

Template:Spoiler Jerry finds out that he is being fined over a book, the Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller, which he borrowed in 1971 from the New York Public Library and allegedly never returned. Jerry is convinced that he indeed did return the book, as he remembers he was with a high school sweetheart, Sherry Becker that day, her orange dress is 'burned into his memory'. Jerry who must go down to the library to sort it out, he invites Kramer, who had just been bashing the library, but enthusiastically accepts.

On arrival, Jerry finds out from the girl at the desk, who Kramer takes a liking to, that his 'case' has been turned over to the library investigations officer, who coincidentally has the surname of 'Bookman'.

When George finally arrives to meet up with Jerry and Kramer, he appears to be in a state of confusion, claiming that the homeless man on the steps outside the library is none other than Mr.Hayman, a Physical Education teacher at Jerry and George's high school. Jerry explains to Kramer that George was responsible for getting Mr. Hayman fired. Jerry and George depart the library, but Kramer stays behind, in an attempt to get to know the library assistant. Meanwhile Elaine is concerned when a co-worker forgets to ask her what she wanted for lunch which prompted her to become paranoid that Mr. Lipman is planning to fire her.

The following day at Monk's Cafe, Jerry persuades George to reveal to Elaine the real reason why Mr.Hayman was sacked. It turns out that Mr.Hayman purposely mispronounced George's surname: instead of calling him Costanza, he called him Can't-Stand-Ya. In the locker room, Hayman and some other PE boys give George a wedgie, and the next day he was fired. Kramer arrives at the diner to alert Jerry that Mr.Bookman is waiting for him outside his apartment.

Bookman and Jerry argue in his apartment, Jerry finds Bookman's speech rather humorous, as Bookman departs, the girl from the library is seen running into Kramer's apartment. The girl is upset that Bookman will return to the library and find she is not there, Kramer comments that she can leave, but the girl says she cannot.

Jerry then proceeds to look up old high school girlfriend Sherry Becker, who was present the day he remembers returning the book. Jerry meets up with her, the girl has gained weight and Jerry appears frustrated by the conversation. It turns out either Jerry or Sherry's memory is not very good when she says that she wore a purple dress, not an orange one and that the book they read to each other was actually Tropic of Capricorn, not Cancer. Jerry then remembers that he actually loaned Cancer to George and runs out of the diner.

Meanwhile, Elaine's fears of being sacked come closer when she 'has to see him in his office', whilst Kramer and his new girl get busted for being in the library after-hours. Elaine borrows Kramer's girlfriend's poetry, which she saw Kramer crying over, in an attempt to impress Mr.Lipman with new texts.

George strolls into Jerry's apartment, he confirms that the man outside the library was indeed Mr.Hayman and proceeds to tell that Hayman gave George a wedgie on the steps. An atomic wedgie. Jerry then confronts George about the book which George has no recollection of until he has the flashback of Hayman's original wedgie in high school, where Jerry loaned him the book just before Hayman confronted George.

Jerry reluctantly pays Mr.Bookman and Elaine comments that Mr.Lipman did not like the poetry which made Kramer cry. The episode ends with Mr.Hayman, homeless in an alley way, muttering 'Can't-Stand-Ya', the book which Jerry never returned is lying next to him.