Charles Ferdinand Ramuz

"Cartman Joins NAMBLA"

"Cartman Joins NAMBLA" is episode 406 (#53) of South Park. It originally aired on June 21, 2000.

Synopsis

Cartman decides he is too mature to be with Stan, Kyle, and Kenny, so he starts to look for older male friends in an Internet chat room. He stumbles upon the topic "Men Who Like Young Boys" and talks to some eager men who Cartman believes want to be friends with him. In reality, they are sexually attracted to young boys.

Meanwhile, Kenny's mom is trying to have another baby. Kenny doesn't like the idea, so after getting his father to play catch, he heaves the ball at his dad's crotch, shattering his left testicle. Kenny hopes this will render his father infertile. The next day Cartman meets Tony316, a pedophile, who is arrested for soliciting sex from a minor. The next day, to Cartman's surprise, "Mr. Hammerhead" turns out to be Mr. Garrison who is also arrested. Cartman, being too naïve to know what's really going on, concludes that Stan and Kyle are behind this.

Despite Kenny's effort, his mother gets pregnant anyway (and at the hospital confirming this, his father gets his shattered left testicle fixed). Kenny adds abortion pills in his mom's vodka, but his dad accidentally drinks it instead and gets heavy diarrhea and vomits. After seeing a commercial for an amusement park ride, (The John Denver Experience) informing that pregnant women should not ride, he goes with his parents where Kenny's dad's nose is broken. Finally, tired of his failed attempts, Kenny chases his mom through the town with a plunger.

Dr. Mephesto advises Cartman to join an organization known as NAMBLA, saying "you look about right." Cartman joins and becomes poster boy for the North American Man/Boy Love Association, and a banquet is thrown in his honor with all the boys in town invited. Cartman is allowed to invite all the boys, and invites everyone except Stan and Kyle.

The police raid a meeting of Dr. Mephesto's organization, but it is a mistake (his group is the North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes, who are not affiliated with the North American Man/Boy Love Association). They rush to stop the other NAMBLA's banquet.

All the boys in town are there (including Stan and Kyle, who invited themselves in); however, when the men take them to their hotel rooms, the boys realize what it really is, and a chase ensues. The other NAMBLA comes as well as the cops. Kenny even comes to chase his mother with Mr. McCormick trying to stop him. Cartman figures that the group he joined will not stop until they make love with at least one person. He sends Butters to the room with the NAMBLA members, who enters the wrong room. Mr. McCormick searches for Kenny in the dark room with the NAMBLA members, and they "make love to him in the ass" thinking he's a young boy. In the end, all of the Man/Boy Love Association members are arrested. Cartman then apologizes to his friends, saying that they will 'blossom into maturity someday', hoping that it doesn't take too long. The leader of NAMBLA says that he learned that America is all about the freedom to be whatever you want to be, be it black, gay, or a pedophile, and that pedophiles cannot help their desires. Kyle disgustedly rebuts this saying, "Dude. You have sex with children!" to which Stan adds, "Yeah, you know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, fuck you!"

Kenny is then run over by the ambulance taking his father to the hospital. Afterwards, Mrs. McCormick gives birth to an identical child they name Kenny. Mr. McCormick claims this is the 50th time such has happened, but Mrs. McCormick corrects him: it is actually the 52nd time.

Incidental music

• The song playing during the chase scene is "Page d'écriture" by Yves Montand.
• The music playing during the "North Park Funland" commercial is the same music from the commercials for "Wild Wacky Action Bike" and "Alabama Man" on the season 3 episode, Chinpokomon. Cartman took over the same theme park in Cartmanland, a future episode.