A personal experience
A personal experience ( Japanese 個人 的 な 体 験 , Kojintekina taiken) is a novel by Kenzaburō Ōe from 1964. It is the autobiographical story of a young father who has to cope with his son's birth defect.
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The main character, a young Japanese man nicknamed “Bird”, is expecting his first child. While waiting, he rummages in a bookstore for maps of Africa because it is his dream to travel there one day. He failed at the university; his father-in-law gave him a teaching position at a tutoring school. He always drank a lot and now goes to a pub. There he gets involved in a fight, from which he emerges victorious. At home he dreams of Africa, waiting for the call from the hospital. Finally, a young doctor calls from the clinic and tries gently to inform him that his child, a son, was born with a brain hernia. Bird sees a plant-like being in front of him, he thinks of de Chirico's picture of Apollinaire , whose head can be seen in the background with a hole in it. Bird wants to go to the children's clinic, but his mother-in-law calls, he shouldn't come to his wife for now. - Bird decides to visit his father-in-law, professor of English literature. He drives to the university, meets former students, meets the father-in-law and reports on the birth defect. The professor provides him with a bottle of whiskey. Bird is not going home now, but to Himiko, a friend from olden times.
Bird finds Himiko, who gets up late and lives in a cluttered apartment. He reports on the problem with the son, they drink the whiskey they brought with them. She quotes William Blake “Sooner murder…” Memories come up: A few years ago you had intercourse on the farm. While he was sleeping with her, he heard men outside calling for her. Bird wakes up to see Himiko asleep on the floor. He goes to the bathroom with a heavy head and vomits. She helps him regain consciousness and asks him to visit her again. He goes to school to give his lessons. During class he vomits again and escapes from the classroom.
Bird then drives to the children's clinic, where he is sent to the special department. He finally finds his child, who lies and lives in the incubator. The specialist is called and comes. His child should be operated on if it is strong enough for it. Exhausted from the stay in the clinic, he decides to return to Himiko first. Himiko wants to sleep with him. Delusions stop him first, then it happens, and he is relieved. Then he has to think about his "monster baby" again.
Bird drives to the hospital, visits his wife, vaguely explaining to her that something is wrong with the child. He had brought grapefruit, which is wrong, as his mother-in-law strictly instructs him. His wife turns to Kikuhiko, his younger friend in the old days, and says that if the baby is a boy, it could also be called Kikuhiko. He leaves the hospital, finds Himiko in her MG, she, who appears to him to be his real family, and drives with him to her, not without having given the special clinic Himiko's phone number.
The next morning, Bird drives Himiko's MG to school to give his lessons. After the first lesson, the rector lets him come to and tells him that he is sorry but that he has to fire him because of the drunkenness. Bird drives to Himiko, finds an acquaintance of hers besides her there. The three of you discuss the problem with the child. After the acquaintance is gone, the two lie on the bed, listening to the news, atomic bomb tests. Both are against nuclear armament. The next day, Bird sees his son in the hospital, but what should happen is still not clear.
Bird wakes up at Himiko's, her father-in-law comes over. Bird apologizes for just thinking about himself. Himiko wants to go to Africa with him. They both sleep together in the evening. There is a call from the clinic that he should come to the director of the special clinic the next morning. There they tell him that an operation is possible and planned. Bird refuses, wants to take the child home with them. Himiko, who was waiting for him in the car, brings him to his senses. They eventually take the child to a clinic. Bird gives him the name Kikuhiko, the name of his friend. The two drive to the bar where Kikuhiko works and talk to him. Kikuhiko, who knew Bird as a teenager, is astonished that the once so strong man now seems so helpless. This leads Bird to stop running away and have the child operated on.
It was towards the end of autumn and the operation was a success. The child is released, the parents-in-law and his wife are happy about the outcome, they think the baby looks more and more like Bird. "Hope" and "patience" are the words that move Bird.
Post Comment
Kenzaburō Ōe's novel begins with the real birth of his son, who was born disabled, and ends with the author's confidence that his son will be able to continue living after the successful operation - albeit severely disabled. The story is embedded with Bird's old friend Himiko, who of course doesn't have to have happened that way, but who in any case marks him as a close observer.
In the epilogue, printed in the Japanese edition from 1981 onwards, e writes that looking back he has to smile at himself, at the wild young man, who then goes through a process of maturation.
Remarks
- ↑ Complete: “Sooner murder an infant in it's cradle than nurse unacted desires.”
- ↑ Ōe's son, real name "Hikaru", is disabled, but became famous for his musical compositions in the classical style.
Book editions
- Ōe Kenzaburō: Kojintekina Taiken . Shincho bunko, 1964. ISBN 978-4-10-112610-4 .
- Kenzaburō Ōe: A personal matter . Translated from the Japanese by John Natham. Grove Press, 1965. ISBN 0-8021-5061-6 .
- Kenzaburo Oe: A personal experience . Translated from the Japanese by Siegfried Schaarschmidt . Suhrkamp, 1972.