The List (South Park)

"The List (South Park)"

"The List" is episode 1114 (#167) of Comedy Central's South Park, and was the Season 11 finale. It originally aired on November 14, 2007.

Plot

The boys discover that the girls in their class have made a list of them, ordered by cuteness. The boys, after two attempts, eventually succeed in stealing the list and post it on the wall of the Boys' Bathroom (where the girls cannot get it back) and discover the list is as follows:

1. Clyde
2. Token
3. Stan
4. Bradley
5. Jason
6. Leroy
7. Kenny
8. Tweek
9. Kevin
10. Jimmy
11. Butters
12. Craig
13. Timmy
14. Francis
15. Cartman
16. Kyle

Kyle's spirits plummet after this discovery, especially as he's ranked uglier than his nemesis, Cartman. Meanwhile, Clyde's ego inflates dramatically and he starts flirting with many girls at school. Unlike Cartman and Butters, he does not mock Kyle and kindly reassures him that Abraham Lincoln, who was apparently ugly, accomplished so much. However, Kyle, in an act of depression, starts hanging out with the ugly kids in the school. He gets the idea from a boy named Jamal to burn the school down. He is visited by the Ghost of Abraham Lincoln, who shows him that ugliness is a gift, not a curse, as one who is ugly has nothing handed to them and has to earn it themselves and discover it useful when they turn 40. Apparently ignoring this advice, Kyle decides to go ahead with his plans of arson, as he cannot wait as long as 31 years for happiness.

Meanwhile, Stan (who was ranked third on the list), Kyle's best friend, watches Kyle's behaviour with increasing unease. Eventually, he asks his ex-girlfriend, Wendy (whom he is no longer speaking to) why Kyle was voted ugliest. Wendy agrees that it seems like a wrong decision, as she voted Cartman ugliest. Upon bringing the case to her list-making society, which is similar to the United States Congress, it is decided that the list would be re-opened if a good reason to do so is found. Upon inspection of the list ballots, they discover Clyde's votes put him in the bottom five of the list, and visit Wendy's friend, Rebecca, to discuss the matter. However, Rebecca warns Wendy that she may discover a secret she "couldn't handle." Suspicious, Wendy explains to her List Committee that Rebecca may have tampered with the list and that this is a reason the list should be re-made. However, the girls quickly reveal the plot that Rebecca, themselves and Bebe, the head of the Committee are in on - Clyde's father owns a local shoe-store, and they wanted to make Clyde popular to justify dating him and getting free shoes. In order to do this, they hid the real list and forged a new one (the exact list the boys stole).

Wendy, shocked and outraged that the Committee would abuse their power, steals the real list from them and she and Stan run off to find Kyle, who is about to set the school alight, while cursing God. They explain the truth to him, but then Bebe shows up and holds them at gunpoint, while admitting that Kyle was a "casualty" of their plot, as moving Clyde necessitated in moving other boys because Clyde was voted in the bottom five. However, Wendy has called the police, who arrive almost at once. Bebe is shocked, which Wendy takes advantage of to wrestle the gun from her. However, a shot goes off, flies all the way across town and kills Kenny as he eats pop tarts at home. Bebe is arrested and taken to prison.

Kyle, however, refuses to take a look at the real list, fearing an inflated ego that Abraham Lincoln's ghost warned him about. Instead, he uses some of his flammable liquid to burn it. Wendy admits to Stan that she has enjoyed hanging out with him and feels that he has changed a lot since their breakup. In a near-exact copy of Cartman Gets an Anal Probe's climax scene (which signalled the beginning of their original relationship), Wendy's attempt to kiss him is interrupted when he vomits in her face (He vomits on her much more than the other times), an old running gag that tied into their original relationship. This signals their reconciliation.

Deleted scenes

• After Cartman tells Bebe she'll be eating Pop-Tarts if she marries Kenny, Kenny slaps Cartman. Cartman then says, "Oww, Kenny, don't be an asshole." This brief moment was cut from the televised airing.
• In an extended/alternate ending, after Stan vomits on Wendy, she smiles at him (because Stan still likes her). Kyle declares that no one will ever know who was really on the bottom, but Wendy admits that she looked, and it was Cartman. Afterwards, Cartman is seen sitting angrily with the ugly kids, saying "This is bullcrap!". Butters then teases Cartman by saying, "Hey, ugly bugly. Did Adolf Zitler launch a Zitzkrieg across your face?! (laughing)" Cartman, offended by this, says "Oh well, that's fine! What really matters is the kind of person I am on the inside." Realizing what he just said, he bangs his head down on the table and mutters, "Oh, goddamn it." The ugly kid who asked for Kyle's pickle earlier then steals Cartman's pickle right off his plate. The entire scene is available on the Official South Park Studios website.

Kenny's Death

Wendy, shocked and outraged that the Committee would abuse their power, steals the real list from them and she and Stan run off to find Kyle, who is about to set the school alight, while cursing God. They explain the truth to him, but then Bebe shows up and holds them at gunpoint, while admitting that Kyle was a "casualty" of their plot, as moving Clyde necessitated in moving other boys because Clyde was voted in the bottom five. However, Wendy has called the police, who arrive almost at once. Bebe is shocked, which Wendy takes advantage of to wrestle the gun from her. However, a shot goes off, flies all the way across town and kills Kenny as he eats pop tarts at home. Bebe is arrested and taken to prison.