Detachment (psychology)

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Detachment describes the dissolution of an emotional bond or dependency relationship in which people can be in different forms of relationships with one another. Here it refers specifically to the process of separation from parents or other caregivers, as a step towards independence and autonomy. From a developmental point of view, puberty and post- puberty ( adolescence ) are the typical times in which the young person resolves this dependence / bond by adopting a position opposite to the parental standpoint and giving up common values. He begins to control and shape himself, on the background of his own development in an inclusive culture, to pursue his own impulses, without feelings of guilt, even if the parents are not enthusiastic about them. This is an important requirement for personality development and growing up.

In the final phase of a psychotherapeutic process, too, there is a detachment, here the client from the therapist, as a dissolution of the therapeutic transference .

historical development

Freud (1958) describes detachment as the process of increasing external orientation of a child, which (according to the attachment theory ) already happens in early childhood. Robert J. Havighurst (1948), Devoric and Helmut Fend describe detachment as a central developmental task in adolescence, which consists in breaking free from dependence on adults. Bowlby (attachment theory) also uses this term in connection with dying.

Aspects of detachment

To replace them, young people need “their own territories”, such as their own room, their own diary, their own relics, which should be taboo / inviolable for others . It would be wrong if these territories / individual areas / boundaries were not respected in education. The adolescent must be able to distance himself from the parents and the parents are no longer allowed to know everything. He begins to lead a life of his own beyond the family and grows more strongly into his peer group .

In the context of the family, it is also important that the intra-family boundaries / subsystem boundaries are clear: Young people are not allowed to become “substitute partners” because otherwise they cannot let go of their parents sufficiently or express the necessary desire for self-determination. If parents do not deal with conflicts with one another, but rather with the young person, they hinder his resolution. He gets into conflicts of loyalty and feels responsible for the argument between his parents.

Replacement from the point of view of youth research includes the development of autonomy and emotional independence through increased contact with peer groups, rebellion against parental influence, building an own intimate relationship, choosing a job, moving out and starting their own household (women around 21 years old ., Men around 24 years old), choice of partner and possibly marriage.

The detachment process from the point of view of the family development approach considers the “detachment” from the parents on the one hand from the perspective of the young people and on the other hand the “letting go” of the children from the perspective of the parents.

Erich Fromm emphasizes the child's dependency on the mother's love and attention and therefore describes this relationship as imbalanced. He describes true motherly love not only to take care of the child's growth, but also to finally be able to let go of it.

Replacement as part of the "Psychosocial Moratorium" according to Erikson

The term psychosocial moratorium , coined for the first time by Erik H. Erikson , describes the phase of life between childhood and adult identity, in which a slow detachment from parents and the final farewell to the childhood self takes place. This detachment is accompanied by various orientation problems (such as finding a job) and aims to lead to adult status, for which the job or work role is important.

Social development

According to more recent studies (2004), the separation from parents seems to be delayed further. Extended stays in education systems, increase in single households, higher age at marriage, later starting a career, etc. are to be observed. Classic positions such as moving out of the parental household, financial independence, completing vocational training and starting your own family are no longer generally applicable to the definition of replacement. These detachment steps are indicative of the process, but occur with a time delay and a different meaning due to the extended youth phase (Achatz, Krüger, Rainer, de Rijke 2000, p. 35). The term “ post-adolescence ” arises here and describes a phase of life that can extend into the third decade of life.

Studies show that the proportion of young people who are financially dependent on their parents increased by 8 percentage points (to 55%) between 1999 and 2002. Half of the 24-year-old men live in their parents' household and the number of young people without vocational training is growing (e.g. 2004 Socio-Economic Panel).

A background with no prospects in education systems and subsequent unemployment makes the development of an adult ego identity and a successful detachment more difficult.

See also

Web links

literature

  • Verena Kast: Let go and find yourself. The detachment from the children. 19th edition, Herder, Freiburg 2001, ISBN 978-3-451-04910-1 .
  • Verena Kast: father-daughters / mother-sons. Paths to one's own identity from father and mother complexes. Kreuz-Verlag, 2005, ISBN 978-3-783-12632-7 .
  • John Selby: Fathers and Their Role in Our Lives.
  • Michael Dudok de Wit: father and daughter.
  • Verena Kast: Fairy tales as therapy.
  • Karl Haag: When mothers love too much. Entanglement and Abuse in the Mother-Son Relationship.

Individual evidence

  1. ↑ Psychology specialist sign language dictionary: Replacement. (No longer available online.) Archived from the original on February 4, 2008 ; accessed on June 21, 2018 .
  2. ↑ Lexicon on socioweb.de ( Memento from February 4, 2008 in the Internet Archive )
  3. ↑ Page no longer available , search in web archives: TU-Dresden Berufswahl@1@ 2Template: Toter Link / tu-dresden.de
  4. ↑ Stangl-Taller, Development Task / Youth
  5. ↑ a b Pädagogische UNI-München, Tippelt ( Memento of June 10, 2007 in the Internet Archive ) (PDF; 730 kB)
  6. ↑ Erich Fromm The Art of Loving. First edition 1956, 60th edition, Frankfurt / M. 2003, ISBN 3-548-36784-4 .
  7. ↑ Research Network, IPOS studies Mannheim Institute for practical social research in 2004 ( Memento of 15 July 2007 at the Internet Archive ) ( adolescents and young adults in Germany )
  8. ↑ Page no longer available , search in web archives: Kolping hotels, youth social work, replacement and development task@1@ 2Template: Dead Link / 66.102.1.104