Parent-child relationship

from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
My Lady is a Widow and Childless . Painting by Marcus Stone (1840-1921)

The parent-child relationship is the social and emotional relationship between a parent and their own child. It is a frequently studied two-way relationship . A distinction is sometimes made according to the gender of the parent mother-child relationship and father-child relationship, and also according to the gender of the child, father-son relationship , mother-daughter relationship , father-daughter relationship , mother-son relationship . If the son or daughter is an adult, one of the latter names is usually used.

In family therapy and sociology, the two parent-child relationships are also viewed together with the parental couple relationship as a father-mother-child relationship and thus as a triad (tripartite relationship).

The parent-child relationship is an unequal relationship from the outset : the infant is existentially dependent on the relationship with the mother, father or caregiver for its survival, with increasing individuation taking place in the course of childhood and adolescence . In Western societies, the parents are generally primarily responsible for bringing up the child, and the child remains in parental care until they are of legal age . Parent-child relationships in interaction with other factors such as the sibling constellation , role models , peer groups and the influence of the mass media are decisive for the child's development.

Psychology and social sciences

The parent-child relationship and, more generally, the family as a developmental context are the subject of developmental psychology . The relationship is also the subject of psychology , social psychology , pedagogy and other social sciences .

Psychology and medicine

Haim Omer and Arist von Schlippe emphasized the importance of parental presence as a prerequisite for the child to feel safe and in good hands. This presence is especially important when children do not adhere to an orientation offered by their parents. On the other hand, if a parent always fulfills the child's wishes or if he withdraws, he leaves the child in an empty space inside.

Father with daughter

Due to the dependence of an infant on the interaction with the caregiver and due to the type of interaction, regulatory disorders in infancy in particular are viewed as closely linked to the parent-child relationship. Daily handling of breastfeeding, feeding, carrying, changing, etc. contribute to the relationship with the infant. The relationship and bond between parent and child is based on prelinguistic interaction and communication from birth, which are largely intuitive . Interaction and communication patterns can also be effective across generations: the parents' own childhood experiences influence them through diverse, often unconscious mechanisms of action. There are indications that mothers react more sensitively to their baby, the better they assess the care provided by their own mother, and that their assessment of this correlates with measurable properties of the brain.

The binding theory distinguishes between multiple types of bonds, the type of bond between caregiver characterize (s) and child and affect the personality development. The different attachment attitudes of parental caregivers go hand in hand with certain types of attachment of the children ( see: Adult Attachment Interview , Relationship between adult attachment and child attachment types ).

The parent-child relationship is influenced by many factors. A review of several studies from 2003 to 2013 showed that frequent crying of an infant can impair the parent-child bond and the parents can develop feelings such as helplessness and anger. The physical and psychological stress can also lead to parental reactions that harm the child. Parents should be given opportunities to share their feelings with other people in order to limit the effects of screaming on the parent-child bond. One study found that screaming in children aged 9 months to 6 years can correspond to noise in the range of 99 to 120 decibels and recommended the use of earplugs by parents and educators for the purpose of hearing protection and violence prevention .

A parent's mental disorder puts a strain on children and adolescents, especially if they experience the symptoms and problems of the parents as unpredictable and confusing, and studies have shown that children of mentally ill parents tend to have an increased risk of developing mental illness themselves later, including children of parents with post-traumatic stress disorder .

The transmission of trauma from one generation to the next in the form of so-called transgenerational trauma was researched in connection with war situations in particular and forms an essential part of peace and conflict research .

A physical illness in one of the parents can also affect the relationship, put a psychological strain on children and adversely affect child development. In the opinion of doctors at the Hamburg University Clinic , a family-oriented treatment and care concept would be suitable to meet the specific risks and needs of children with sick parents. ( See also: Depression in Children as a Result of Parental Depression .)

According to studies, the quality of communication between the baby or toddler and their caregivers is a decisive factor for the child's development. The way parents act on their children when they experience fear has an impact on the later development of dissociative symptoms . The parental response to the child's needs in early childhood also has a profound effect on identity development and the child's stress response pattern.

There are various approaches to pregnancy support that include elements of psychotherapy and aim to support the relationship with the child pre- or perinatally and to prevent later attachment disorders. These include the “Ulm Model” (parent group, individual psychotherapy, home visit and sensitivity training after the birth) as well as the “attachment analysis ” according to Jenő Raffai and the haptonomy .

Sociology and Anthropology

In sociology , the quality of the parent-child relationship - in addition to other elements such as friendship relationships, the quality of the neighborhood and membership in organizations and associations - is viewed as social capital that serves the child or young person as a social resource . The maintenance of the relationship with the child's own is part of the family work ; viewed socially, it serves social reproduction .

In childhood and adulthood, the nature of the relationship with one's own parents is influenced by one's own family history, the character and personality of the individuals, and social patterns (see also: Family forms and family # family forms ).

The social roles of mother and father in the upbringing of children and in their relationships with them vary widely in some cultures; The upbringing of sons and daughters also differs significantly in some cases. Gender-related differences are also shown in societies in which changes in the direction of equality and equality of the sexes and an approximation of gender roles have taken place.

Social anthropological studies on parent-child relationships in different cultures have been carried out by Bronisław Malinowski , Margaret Mead and Jean Liedloff , among others .

Psychoanalysis

Sigmund Freud took the parent-child relationship as the starting point for psychoanalysis and developed the theory of the child's Oedipus conflict .

Erich Fromm distinguished between the principle of maternal love and that of fatherly love , whereby the former is unconditional and therefore gives security , trust and security, the latter is linked to conditions and has the task of "teaching and guiding the child so that it can with the." Coping with problems faced by the society into which the child was born ”. He stressed the dependence of the child by the love and care of mother and described it as the true test of a mother's love, whether in the course of time, the separation of adolescents from her wish and promote and interpreted differently by Freud the Oedipus myth as rebellion against Authority of the Father in a Patriarchal Society.

As one of the pioneers of psychoanalytic family research and family therapy , Horst-Eberhard Richter examined the effects of disturbed parents on their children in addition to Freud's analysis of the child-parent relationship.

Katharina Rutschky and Alice Miller saw in mainstream home education, despite all the efforts of reform pedagogy, the Enlightenment pedagogy, hostile to child nature, at work, which they assigned the catchphrase " black pedagogy " since 1977 and subjected it to a psychoanalytic interpretation.

Protection by society and the state

Parent courses , educational advice and other socio-educational offers aim to support parents and strengthen their parental skills . In the case of specific difficulties or stresses, interaction patterns can also be made aware through family therapy or systemic therapy and, if necessary, change processes can be initiated. 

The parent-child relationship enjoys special protection insofar as, according to Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the family, as a natural basic unit of society, is entitled to protection by society and the state. In Germany, the protection of marriage and the family is laid down in Article 6 of the Basic Law . In particular, section (3) specifies:

"Against the will of the legal guardians, children may only be separated from the family on the basis of a law if the legal guardians fail or if the children threaten to neglect for other reasons."

In situations in which the well-being of the child is endangered by the parents - in particular in the case of neglect , abuse or sexual abuse of the child - the state has the right and the duty to intervene for the well-being of the child.

The parent-child relationship requires time together. In the 2004 “Resolution of the European Parliament on the reconciliation of work, family and private life”, the European Parliament expressed the view “that family policy must create the conditions for parents to be able to spend more time with their children and that a better time division between working life and caring for one's own child would in any case also contribute to a better relationship between parents and children and would have a positive effect on promoting family ties and stable family relationships ” .

Social development

In Germany there has been an emotionalization of the parent-child relationship , which is closely linked to a dismantling of domination in the parent-child relationship. Here, the child - despite all the inequality of the relationship - is allowed to help shape the relationship. According to Trutz von Trotha , two opposing processes were observed in Germany: an increasing child centering and child decentering at the same time. As possible consequences, he named excessive demands on the child, mother or father; others speak of competition between the parents for the child.

In Germany, the law on the outlawing of violence in upbringing came into force in November 2000, granting children the right to a non-violent upbringing and declaring corporal punishment, emotional injury and other degrading measures to be inadmissible. At the same time, Section 16 (1) of Book Eight of the Social Code was amended to the effect that child and youth welfare should show ways in which conflict situations in the family can be resolved without violence.

In view of social developments towards flexibility, individualization and mobility, the relationship with the child is sometimes highlighted as “the last non-terminable relationship” because it is clearly designed to be permanent. Even with adult children who no longer live in their parents' home, the relationship is often characterized by intimacy, albeit at a distance. Despite all the mobility within society, the relationship with adult children is often characterized by geographical proximity: in Germany, around 50 to 60 percent of parents have a child less than 15 minutes' walk away; the distance is often short, especially in large cities. In the German Age Survey 2002 , more than ninety percent of the 40 to 85-year-old respondents said they had a “very close” or “close” relationship with their young or adult children; conversely, around three quarters of those questioned reported “very close” or “close” relationships with their parents. Solidarity and assistance in the form of practical, monetary, cognitive or emotional support are common and go in both directions. The Pairfam study, according to 55% of 15- and 37-year-old daughters and 29% of children in this age range in Germany to discuss personal matters regularly with her mother.

Long-term studies carried out in the USA demonstrated how parent-child relationships changed in the course of social developments in the 20th century. The liberalization surge of the 1960s, for example, significantly improved parent-child relationships until the child was 30 years old. According to John Clausen , one of the authors of a long-term study, this can be explained by the fact that parental willingness to support the development of their children and to take their needs and ideas seriously, especially between the ages of 10 and 16, has a positive effect in the long term affect the stability and durability of adult children's relationships with their parents.

According to an evaluation of the American “Health and Retirement Study” carried out between 1998 and 2008, daughters care for their mothers three times as often as their brothers do. With fathers, daughters and sons are about equally involved in caring for children. The US average age at which parents are dependent on care for their children is 77 years; their children are on average 49 years old at this point.

Lore

Wilhelm Tell monument (Altdorf, around 1900)
Anne-Louise Alix de Montmorency with daughter (ca.1840)

The changing relationships between parent and child form a recurring theme in myth, religious scriptures, fairy tales and art.

The relationships are sometimes tragic or dramatic. In Greek sagas , gods and demigods are represented with their relationships and the resulting tragic developments (see in particular Oedipus and Electra ).

Several father-son relationships emerge in Old Testament scriptures, such as those between Abraham and Isaac (with God's commandment to sacrifice Isaac ) and between Isaac and Jacob and between David and Absalom (with Absalom's death). In the New Testament the love of the father becomes the central element (see also: Religious-historical aspects of the love of the father ).

In the performing arts , Shakespeare's tragedy King Lear should be mentioned, in which a daughter's love for her father emerges.

In painting , paintings of fathers or mothers with their children were primarily commissioned by aristocratic families.

See also

Web links

Individual evidence

  1. ↑ Lecture by Anita Schächter, described by Ursula Richner: Parent-Child Relationship in Adolescence ( Memento of October 14, 2007 in the Internet Archive ), Zeit -fragen (zeit-fragen.ch), No. 13/14 of April 3 2007 (Link no longer available; version from the Internet Archive from October 14, 2007)
  2. ↑ P. Kim et al. a .: Perceived quality of maternal care in childhood and structure and function of mothers' brain , Dev Sci. 2010 Jul, 13 (4): 662-73. PMID 20590729
  3. ↑ S. Oldbury, K. Adams: The impact of infant crying on the parent-infant relationship . In: Community Practitioner: the Journal of the Community Practitioners '& Health Visitors' Association . tape 88 , no. 3 , March 2015, p. 29-34 , PMID 25812239 .
  4. ^ LE Calderon, LD Carney, KT Kavanagh: The Cry of the Child and its Relationship to Hearing Loss in Parental Guardians and Health Care Providers . In: Journal of Evidence-informed Social Work . tape 13 , no. 2 , 2016, p. 198–205 , doi : 10.1080 / 23761407.2015.1018031 , PMID 25844672 .
  5. ↑ Marion Sonnenmoser: Children of mentally ill parents: Forgotten children. In: Deutsches Ärzteblatt, PP 5, August 2006 edition, page 368. Retrieved August 14, 2010 .
  6. ↑ Peter Riedesser, Michael Schulte-Markwort: Children of physically ill parents: Psychological consequences and possibilities of prevention. In: Deutsches Ärzteblatt 1999, No. 96, pages A-2353-2357. Retrieved August 14, 2010 .
  7. ↑ Quote: "The first clinical implication of the theory and research reviewed in this article is that the capacity of attachment figures for modulating fearful arousal in a responsive dialog with the child has a major impact on the development of dissociative symptoms over time. A second clinical implication is that traumatic events are often discrete occurrences, whereas disturbed parental affective communications are often an enduring, day-in-day-out feature of the childhood years. In contrast to a more discrete traumatic event, the parent's responses to the child's foundational needs for comfort and soothing are worked into the fabric of identity from a very early age. They are also worked into the fabric of the child's biologic stress regulation. "Quoted from: K. Lyons-Ruth, L. Dutra, MR Schuder, I. Bianchi: From infant attachment disorganization to adult dissociation: relational adaptations or traumatic experiences? In: The Psychiatric clinics of North America. Volume 29, number 1, March 2006, pp. 63-86, viii, doi : 10.1016 / j.psc.2005.10.011 , PMID 16530587 , PMC 2625289 (free full text) (review).
  8. ↑ KH Brisch ; G. Schmücker; S. Betzler; A. Buchheim; B. Köhntop; H. Kächele, The Ulm Model. Preventive psychotherapeutic intervention program after the birth of a small premature baby: First results , Frühförderung interdisciplinary, 18 (1999) 1, pp. 28–34. Summary
  9. ↑ Traudel Simon: Clinical Curative Education , Kohlhammer Verlag, 2010, ISBN 978-3170214842 . Section "3.1.3 Methodological Approaches" .
  10. ^ Andreas Klocke: Poverty in Context. The health and health behavior of children and adolescents in deprived situations , Journal for Sociology of Education and Socialization, No. 26, pp. 158–170, 2006. Quoted from: Sociology of Health , Claus Wendt and Christof Wolf (eds.), 2006, Cologne journal for sociology and social psychology, special issue 46, 2006, VS Verlag für Sozialwissenschaften, ISSN  1861-891X , p. 219
  11. ↑ Anna-Katharina Gerhard: Autonomy and closeness: Individuation development of young people in the mirror of familial interaction , Juventa, 2005, ISBN 3-7799-1679-7 , pp. 55–57
  12. ↑ Kurt Kneppner: Parent-Child Relationship: Research Findings , Online Family Handbook , 2004, Section Gender Differences in Parent-Child Relationships During Adolescence , p. 8 ( Memento from February 20, 2009 in the Internet Archive )
  13. ↑ Erich Fromm: Die Kunst des Liebens , 1956, Erich Fromm complete edition in 12 volumes, Volume IX, edited by Rainer Funk Munich (Deutsche Verlags-Anstalt and Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag) 1999, p. 465. Quoted from Johannes Claßen: Erich Fromms Basic statement on education, illustrated using the example of the community “Our little brothers and sisters” , in: Erich Fromm and Critical Pedagogy , p. 106 ( Memento from September 17, 2009 in the Internet Archive ) and p. 116 ( Memento from September 17 2009 in the Internet Archive ) (PDF)
  14. ↑ Erich Fromm: Die Kunst des Liebens , 1956, Erich Fromm complete edition in 12 volumes, Volume IX, edited by Rainer Funk Munich (Deutsche Verlags-Anstalt and Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag) 1999, p. 465. Quoted from Johannes Claßen: Erich Fromms Basic statement on education, illustrated using the example of the community “Our little brothers and sisters” , in: Erich Fromm and Critical Pedagogy , p. 105 ( Memento from September 17, 2009 in the Internet Archive ) (PDF)
  15. ^ Karl Heinz Pleyer: Co-traumatic processes in the parent-child relationship. www.traumapädagogik.de. First published in "Systhema" 18 (2), 2004, pp. 132-149., October 28, 2009, accessed on February 9, 2010 .
  16. ↑ Universal Declaration of Human Rights # Article 16 on Wikisource
  17. ↑ Resolution of the European Parliament on the reconciliation of work, family and private life (2003/2129 (INI)), P5_TA (2004) 0152 , Official Journal No. C 102 E of 28/04/2004 pp. 0492-0497, see also [1] ; also cited in [2] (accessed November 4, 2007)
  18. ↑ a b Trutz v. Trotha: Parent-Child Relationship: France and Germany , Berlin Institute for Population Development, January 2008.
  19. ↑ Karin Bumsenberger: Changing values ​​in raising children , German education server
  20. ↑ Margot Käßmann: Ethical Perspectives when Looking at Demographic Change , pp. 27–32. In: Demographic Change. The city, the women and the future. (PDF) Ministry for Generations, Family, Women and Integration of the State of North Rhine-Westphalia, accessed on September 25, 2016 .
  21. ↑ a b c Hans Bertram: Generational conflict or generational solidarity? , Pp. 249-254. In: Demographic Change. The city, the women and the future. (PDF) Ministry for Generations, Family, Women and Integration of the State of North Rhine-Westphalia, accessed on September 25, 2016 .
  22. ^ A b François Höpflinger: Women and Generational Relationships in the Second Half of Life, pp. 255–268. In: Demographic Change. The city, the women and the future. (PDF) Ministry for Generations, Family, Women and Integration of the State of North Rhine-Westphalia, accessed on September 25, 2016 .
  23. ↑ Study: Bonding Between Mothers and Daughters Most Intense. In: world. April 7, 2012, accessed February 23, 2019 .
  24. ↑ Uta Rasche: Daughters look after more often than sons. In: FAZ. March 18, 2014, accessed February 23, 2019 .