Gordon model

The Gordon model is a communication model for resolving conflicts, which was first described by the US psychologist Thomas Gordon in his book Family Conference (original title: Parent effectiveness training ). The work was published in 1970 and the 46th edition is already available in German (1989). The Gordon model is based on the client-centered psychotherapy founded by Carl Rogers . There are effectiveness studies for parent effectiveness training.

Gordon's central categories

Active listening: Active listening ( empathic listening ) describes the ability to reflect on the opinions and feelings of group members. An important goal of active listening is to guide the group member or child to understand their own problems and to derive solutions themselves. An important element of this is to repeat what has been said in your own words.

I-messages: I-messages are neutral, factual statements through which the speaker communicates something about himself to the addressee. This can be a statement about a feeling or a state (e.g. "I am too tired to play something") or it can describe the effect that an action taken by the person addressed had or could have on the speaker (e.g. "If you throw sand from the sandpit onto my runner, I have to spend some time cleaning it and I don't like that").

Shifting gears: The goal of I-messages can be to make a child aware of a problem so that they recognize the problem and perhaps also emotionally recognize it as a problem of their own. When a child has accepted a problem as their own problem, the way to solve the problem is to actively listen to the other person . Switching from I-messages to active listening is called switching .

Defeatless conflict resolution: This category - also win-win conflict resolution - of the Gordon model goes back to the 'six steps to the creative solution of conflicts' developed by John Dewey .

The behavior window: Gordon graphically illustrates the possible behaviors of a child by showing them in a rectangle. He calls this rectangle a behavior window. This rectangle can later be divided into desirable and undesirable behavior. This concept serves to classify acceptance and problem possession. If behavior is acceptable to the observing parent but not to the child, the child has a problem and the solution is "active listening". If the behavior is unacceptable for the parent, a distinction is made between a conflict of needs and a conflict of values. In the event of a conflict of needs, the parent can communicate his needs through “I messages”. In the event of a conflict of values, the problem arises that the parent cannot explain the child's legitimate interest. In this case “powerless” ways of conflict resolution are recommended.

Follow-up work

In 1993 Thomas Gordon published the follow-up work The New Family Conference : Raising Children Without Punishing . The main concern in the first work was "the solution of conflicts between parents and child", Gordon shows in the new book alternatives to punitive upbringing.

literature

Thomas Gordon: Heyne Family Conference 1989, ISBN 3-453-02984-4

Web links

Gordon Training Schweiz GmbH - Be your Best - Communicate successfully at work and in everyday life
The Online Family Handbook: The Gordon Family Training
Gordon Training Germany
The New Family Conference - Review of the book by Haci-Halil Uslucan
Gordon Training Association - Enjoyable Conflict Resolution - Switzerland

Individual evidence

^ Silvia Schneider, Jürgen Margraf: Textbook of behavior therapy: disorders in childhood and adolescence . tape 3 , 2009, ISBN 978-3-540-79544-5 , pp. 272 ( limited preview in Google Book search).
↑ Thomas Gordon: Parent Effectiveness Training. The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children . Three Rivers Press, New York 2000, ISBN 0-609-80693-9 , pp. 153 ( limited preview in Google Book search).
^ Thomas Gordon, W. Sterling Edwards: Making the Patient Your Partner: Communication Skills for Doctors and Other Caregivers . ABC-CLIO, Westport, Conn. 1997, ISBN 0-86569-273-4 , pp. 116 (English, limited preview in Google Book search).
^ ^A ^b Thomas Gordon: Family Conference in Practice: How Conflicts with Children are Resolved . Heyne Verlag, 2012, ISBN 978-3-641-07172-1 ( limited preview in Google book search).
^ ^A ^b Thomas Gordon: Parent Effectiveness Training. The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children . Three Rivers Press, New York 2000, ISBN 0-609-80693-9 , pp. 15 ( limited preview in Google Book search).

[1] Silvia Schneider, Jürgen Margraf: Textbook of behavior therapy: disorders in childhood and adolescence . tape 3 , 2009, ISBN 978-3-540-79544-5 , pp. 272 ( limited preview in Google Book search).

[2] Thomas Gordon: Parent Effectiveness Training. The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children . Three Rivers Press, New York 2000, ISBN 0-609-80693-9 , pp. 153 ( limited preview in Google Book search).

[3] Thomas Gordon, W. Sterling Edwards: Making the Patient Your Partner: Communication Skills for Doctors and Other Caregivers . ABC-CLIO, Westport, Conn. 1997, ISBN 0-86569-273-4 , pp. 116 (English, limited preview in Google Book search).

[Gordon2012-4] A ^b Thomas Gordon: Family Conference in Practice: How Conflicts with Children are Resolved . Heyne Verlag, 2012, ISBN 978-3-641-07172-1 ( limited preview in Google book search).

[:0-5] A ^b Thomas Gordon: Parent Effectiveness Training. The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children . Three Rivers Press, New York 2000, ISBN 0-609-80693-9 , pp. 15 ( limited preview in Google Book search).