Getting married in Japan
Getting married in Japan , entering into marriage , ( Japanese 結婚 , kekkon , or 婚姻 , kon'in ) has always been a covenant in Japanese history, the continuation of the family (line), i.e. H. the production of family members. The individual needs of the married couple played a subordinate role.
Partner search
In the Edo period , marriages were usually negotiated through families. A matchmaker ( 仲 人 , nakōdo ) could also be used to find suitable candidates . In the Meiji period , these regulations were further consolidated with the introduction of the Ie system . Another innovation of this time is the practice of omiai : both spouses are introduced to each other and to the other family, and the wedding only takes place if there is consensus.
In the post-war period, the proportion of marriages concluded by Omiai fell continuously and is now only around 5%. Nowadays the custom primarily affects particularly wealthy or traditional families who are very careful about who their children marry.
In Japan, a so-called yasashii otoko is considered suitable for marriage , which can perhaps best be translated as “loving man”. Another criterion are the so-called "three Kō" ( 三 高 , sankō ): tall ( 高 身長 , kōshinchō ), good / higher education ( 高 学 歴 , kōgakureki ) and a high income ( 高 収入 , kōshū'nyū ). The ideal age at marriage for a man is his first year in a company.
Many men expect a woman who is considered kawaii (cute), a so-called burikko . Many women support this image by behaving in a particularly childlike manner in the presence of men. There is also the phrase of the “Christmas cake left behind”: Just as a Christmas cake should be eaten by December 24th, a woman should be married at 24. Changed personal demands on partner choice, as well as longer training periods have led to an increase in the age of marriage. Between 1920 and 1990, the average age at marriage for Japanese women rose from 21.5 to 25.8 years. The proportion of unmarried women between the ages of 23 and 29 increased between 1975 and 1990 from 30.9% to 40.2%. The average age at marriage in 1995 was 30.5 for men and 27.2 for women. In accordance with the ideal role model as a housewife, Japanese women are also expected to cook, look after the household and be responsible for bringing up the children. In many households, the woman also takes on the finances.
It is very difficult for Japanese career women to find a partner. Of course there are Japanese men who accept that their wives work: The rule (around 60% of women), however, is that the woman retires from work after the wedding and becomes a housewife and mother. Only when the children have reached a certain age does the woman return to work, but often only a part-time position (around 70%). (See also: Compatibility of family and work, section “Japan” .) Companies also sometimes exert pressure that married women have to leave the company. If you look at the proportion of working women in Japan according to age, the graph has the shape of an M: the proportion increases up to the age of 25, then decreases again to reach a new high at around 45 years of age.
Japanese women who want to make a career therefore often have no choice but to remain unmarried until well over the age of thirty. But then they have a hard time finding a partner. They either stay unmarried or try to find a husband in a western foreign country through an agency.
Below are the results of a survey published in 1999 by NIPPONICA magazine. The question asked was: What are you looking for when choosing a spouse? (multiple answers possible)
| Answers from women | rank | Answers from the men | ||
| Character and personality | 74% | 1 | 93% | Character and personality |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sympathy and feeling | 65% | 2 | 81% | Sympathy and feeling |
| income | 45% | 3 | 34% | Appearance |
| job | 28% | 4th | 28% | Common interests |
| Family environment | 17% | 5 | 20% | Age |
The wedding
The legal part of a wedding in Japan is a short walk to the office, where a corresponding document is sealed with both spouses. It is not even necessary for both partners to be present. The actual wedding ceremony, however, is carried out religiously. The Japanese have a choice: they can marry according to Buddhist , Shinto or Christian (Western) customs. Most hotels have specially designed "chapels" or "Shinto rooms" for the respective ritual to create a creative framework for lavish weddings.
| rite | proportion of |
|---|---|
| Christian | 53.1% |
| Shinto | 32.3% |
| Secular | 11.5% |
| Buddhist | 0.8% |
| Other | 2.3% |
Status: 1998
Weddings are an expensive affair in Japan: according to surveys, the costs are around 30,000 EUR - on average. The parents of the bride traditionally take this into account. The ceremony (in a shrine or temple) and clothing, which is usually only borrowed, represent the largest cost factor. If you were to buy complete traditional wedding equipment, the price would be that of a European sports car (such as a Porsche or Ferrari). The loan costs comparatively little with an average of EUR 3,000-5,000.
Only the immediate family takes part in the wedding itself. However, after the wedding, a large party is held to which relatives, friends, work colleagues and former fellow students are invited. On this occasion, the partner is also introduced to the respective circle of acquaintances. Guests are expected to purchase a correspondingly expensive entrance ticket or bring an envelope with money. The party also helps fund the wedding. Gifts in kind are not common.
A very common custom is to have a photo session. Especially because you usually only get to wear the extremely expensive (and usually only borrowed) wedding clothes once. The photos are also expensive (EUR 500-2,000, depending on the scope of the session). However, the pictures are made very professionally and on special photo paper . They should be durable for several hundred years.
honeymoon
The honeymoon ( 新婚旅行 , shinkonryokō ) is one of the rare opportunities for a salaryman to take a longer trip outside of the three usual vacation weeks (New Year, Golden Week, and Obon ). The most popular travel destination is Hawaii .
Foreign wedding
Non-Japanese citizens can also get married in Japan if they wish. However, mayorships require every non-Japanese spouse to have a valid passport and a certificate of marital status from their home state. This must be requested in advance at the responsible registry office. The following documents are also required for on-site marriage in Japan:
The pedigree certificates are required for both fiancés. In addition, the valid passports of both fiancés are required. If it is not the first marriage for a fiancé, proof of previous marriages and their dissolution must also be presented. These documents must be available in the original and a certified English translation.
Mixed marriages
The proportion of mixed marriages has climbed to just over 5% in recent years. Japanese men and women, however, are looking for very different nationalities as partners.
Japanese women are looking for Europeans and Americans. According to reports, western husbands are more likely to accept an equal wife who also has a career.
When choosing the foreign wife, there are two tendencies that Japanese men choose a foreign wife:
1. Educated Japanese men who are transferred abroad by their company and get to know their wives abroad. 2. Rural men who cannot find a wife in their home country because women have moved to the city to study.
International weddings in Japan:
| Yep Men | number | Yep Women | number | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chinese women | 10,242 | Korean | 2,235 | |
| Philippinas | 7,794 | American | 1,529 | |
| Koreans | 5,318 | Chinese | 890 | |
| American women | 156 | British | 334 | |
| British women | 65 | Filipinos | 117 |
Source: Ministry of Health, Labor and Social Affairs (2003)
Legal regulation
The Japanese Constitution requires in Art. 24 explicitly to make the family law from scratch and to achieve equality of the sexes in marriage law. This led to significant changes in family law and inheritance law in order to implement this mandate of the constitution.
According to the Japanese Civil Code ( 民法 , Minpō ), men can marry from the age of 18, women from the age of 16 (§731). For women only, the restriction applies that marriage is prohibited for a period of six months after the dissolution of a previous marriage (§733) in order to rule out an overlap of the periods for which a presumption of marital status of a child applies. The Japanese Supreme Court initially classified this regulation as non-unconstitutional in 1995, but in 2015 the court ruled otherwise that the law is unconstitutional, but a waiting period of 100 days was appropriate. At the same time, the court ruled that there is no right to double names.
In contrast to Germany, divorce is possible through a simple agreement between the spouses (§763) and does not require a court decision. The vast majority of divorces occur this way.
Marriage and divorce
literature
Elisabeth Scherer: Next to him the dainty figure of loved ones , performance of gender in Japanese wedding rituals, in: Stephan Köhn, Heike Moser (ed.): Frauenbilder - Frauenkörper: Staging of the feminine in the societies of South and East Asia , Verlag Harrassowitz, Wiesbaden 2013 , Pp. 51-72
Single receipts
- ↑ Country report Japan. Edited by M. Pohl and HJ Mayer. Federal Agency for Civic Education, Series of publications Vol. 355, 1998, pp. 428–429 ISBN 3-89331-337-0
- ↑ http://web-japan.org/nipponia/nipponia9/sp03.html ( Memento from May 6, 2006 in the Internet Archive )
- ↑ Naomi Ekset, " Marriage in Japanese" in: archimaera (issue 2/2009)
- ↑ NIPPONIA (9, 1999); cited by Religion and Family , article from the web manual Religion in Japan
- ↑ Supreme Court of December 5, 1995, Hanrei Jihō 1563m p. 81.
- ↑ Spiegel (2015): Court decision: Japanese women lose the fight against antiquated naming rights, http://www.spiegel.de/panorama/justiz/japanerinnen-verlieren-kampf-gegen-antiquierter-namensrecht-a-1068146.html