I am full of hate - and I love that

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I am full of hate - and I love that is a book by the television and radio author Joachim Gaertner , which was published by Eichborn Verlag in 2009 and is subtitled as a " documentary novel ".

Background and content

On April 20, 1999, 18-year-old Eric Harris and 17-year-old Dylan Klebold committed the rampage at Columbine High School , in which they killed 13 people, injured another 24, some seriously, and then committed suicide. In 2006, the investigative authorities published over 900 pages of the perpetrators' personal records, consisting of diary entries, school essays, emails, online chat histories, calendar notes, shopping lists and receipts. From this material as well as excerpts from the interrogation protocols and interviews, Gaertner created an almost 190 page long montage consisting of 15 chapters . It begins with two school essays by the perpetrators from August 1998 - the beginning of their last school year - and ends with an extract from a recorded emergency call from the day of the incident. Gaertner dispensed with accompanying comments and only provided the book with an afterword .

reception

Kolja Mensing found that Gaertner was less concerned with the exact reconstruction of the course of events than with the oppressive question of how two moderately gifted teenagers could prepare a mass murder over months without their surroundings taking notice. The most disturbing moments are those moments in Gaertner's “Montage of Evil”, in which the references to the impending crime are clearly revealed and overlooked.

Hauke ​​Friederichs wrote in Zeit Online : “Gaertner takes his readers into a disturbing world, the parallel world of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. He shows how anger emerges from humiliation, how hatred emerges from anger and violence emerges from hatred [...] The author composes his material for a collection of an announced tragedy. He quotes psychologists, teachers, classmates of the assassins and also the parents to classify the crude statements of the gunmen. Nevertheless, this “documentary novel” leaves the reader disturbed. There is no classification of the author, there is no more in-depth explanation. ”Gaertner missed the chance to prominently place and explain exciting discoveries in the material compiled by the investigators and give Harris more space than Klebold. The book explains the how - and only a little the why. But it is still worth reading because the reader comes very close to the thoughts of the perpetrators.

Henry Bernhard judged: “[The work] brings structure to the material, organizes, arranges, relates things that belong together. A "documentary novel", however, as it is under the title, the book is certainly not, rather a fascinating, terrifying puzzle that turns two dead people, who were considered monsters after their deed, into people again. "

Adaptation

In its year of publication, the book was selected by WDR for the radio play documentary Hass! More hate! The story of Eric and Dylan with Florian Lukas and Marek Harloff in the speaking roles of Harris and Klebold , respectively .

expenditure

  • Joachim Gaertner: I am full of hate - and I love that. Documentary novel. Eichborn Verlag, Berlin 2009, ISBN 978-3-8218-5848-7 .

Individual evidence

  1. a b Joachim Gaertner: I am full of hate - and I love that! In: Cicero - magazine for political culture. Retrieved November 17, 2019.
  2. a b Kolja Mensing: Montage of Evil. In: Deutschlandfunk Kultur. April 21, 2009. Retrieved November 17, 2019.
  3. a b Hauke ​​Friederichs: Limitless hatred. In: Zeit Online. March 12, 2009. Retrieved November 17, 2019.
  4. ^ Henry Bernhard: Distillate of a school massacre. In: Deutschlandfunk. March 16, 2009, accessed November 17, 2019.
  5. Hate! More hate! The story of Eric and Dylan in the ARD radio play database, accessed on November 17, 2019.