Self love
Self-love , also self-love , denotes the all-encompassing acceptance of oneself in the form of an unlimited love for oneself. The term is synonymous , but not completely synonymous , with terms such as self-acceptance , self-respect, self-care, self-confidence and self-worth .
Requirement for love for other people
By Erich Fromm self-love is seen as the basis for being able to love other people. Psychotherapeutic concepts such as the Psychodynamic Imaginative Trauma Therapy of Luise Reddemann describe the self-love accordingly as a precondition for a good connection to the world and to other people.
Self-love is an essential part of the more comprehensive self-esteem , which to a large extent not only determines a person's self-image, but is also the basis for treating other people with respect. The interaction with the environment is largely shaped by a person's self-love. Another self-esteem component that is almost as important for social interaction is self-confidence . H. trust in the ability to shape one's own life and to achieve goals that have been set (see also self-efficacy ).
Biblical command
The first biblical commandment: You should love Jehovah your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. Gospel Matthew 22:37, 38. The second, like him, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. According to Gospel Matthew 22:39 (New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures with references). “Love your neighbor as yourself” ( Lev 19:18; Lk 10:27; Gal 5:14) refers to love of neighbor, in which self-love is assumed to be natural and used as a reference.
In times and cultures that are shaped by this belief, self-love and its display are less accepted in the public eye.
Differentiation from narcissism and arrogance
Self-love understood in this sense is differentiated from arrogance and narcissism . The various psychological or theological viewpoints approach the relationship between self-love and narcissism with different perspectives; some see it as mutually exclusive.
According to the exclusive view of self-love and narcissism, the narcissist behaves self-centered and self- important because he does not love himself and considers himself to be inferior. Quote from Erich Fromm: “It is true that selfish people are unable to love others; however, they are just as unable to love themselves. "
The difference between self-love and narcissism becomes even clearer if one translates narcissism as selfishness or self-love. In contrast to self-love - i.e. a self-acceptance with all strengths and weaknesses - self-love is the projection of an idealized quantity itself . This inflated self-image , in which all weaknesses are negated, is dependent on permanent confirmation and admiration, which should be achieved through the self-loving external presentation of one's own merits and achievements. With this in mind, there is healthy self-love, but no healthy narcissism.
Ways to strengthen self-love
There are several ways to increase self-love. According to Potreck-Rose and Jacob, these are, for example, the acquisition of knowledge, the assumption of responsibility and the awareness of one's own skills and successes. The idea of a loving, affectionate companion who confronts your own inner critical voice can also be helpful. This companion can also be visualized using symbols or objects. Reddemann show the picture of a large house that has many rooms. The mistress of the house indicates which guests are allowed to stay where. Unwelcome guests let themselves be sent away - like parents who tell their children to please go to their room. In this way, inner critical voices can also be sent away.
See also
Web links
Individual evidence
- ↑ Luise Reddemann Psychodynamic Imaginative Traumatherapy, PITT - Das Manual , Learning to Live 167, Pfeiffer bei Klett-Cotta, Stuttgart 3rd edition 2005 (p. 101) ISBN 3-608-89729-1
- ↑ Raphael M. Bonelli : "Only the sick eye sees itself" on kath.net from May 5, 2015, accessed on August 6, 2015
- ↑ Erika J. Chopich, Margaret Paul Das Arbeitsbuch. For reconciliation with the inner child Ullstein Verlag, 1st edition 2005 ISBN 978-3548367026
4. Potreck-Rose, Jacob, Gitta: Self-Attention Self-Acceptance Self-Confidence-Psychotherapeutic Interventions to Build Self-Esteem, Klett-Cotta 2003
5. Stahl, Stefanie: The child in you must find a home. In three steps to a strong self, Kailash Verlag 2017, Munich, 5th edition