Inner child

The Inner Child is part of a model way of looking at inner worlds of experience that became known through books by John Bradshaw , Erika Chopich and Margaret Paul . It denotes and symbolizes the feelings , memories and experiences from childhood that are stored in the brain . This includes the whole spectrum of intense emotions such as irrepressible joy , deep pain , happiness and sadness , intuition and curiosity , feelings of abandonment , fear or anger . The inner child encompasses everything within the realm of being, feeling and experiencing that is assigned to specific brain areas. ^{P. 20/21} The work with the Inner Child works according to the principle of the intended, conscious, therapeutic splitting of the ego between the observing, reflective inner adult self and the experiencing Inner Child. ^{P. 196}

In the model idea of ​​an inner child, which is used in psychotherapeutic work, the authors named “translate” depth psychological and psychoanalytic theoretical assumptions into a language that the interested layperson can understand. Such a simplified, partly popular scientific presentation does not intend to show the complex and conflict-oriented differentiation of psychodynamic theories. However, it offers an understandable, comprehensible and manageable description of internal processes, which enables the reader to use depth psychological knowledge to a certain extent for himself.

Since the 1990s, different approaches to “inner-child work” have developed independently of one another and based on one another and have manifested themselves in various therapeutic procedures. Depending on the form of therapy, the idea of ​​the “inner child” is combined with various other inner elements such as: “Inner adult”, “Inner director”, “Helpful beings”, “Good, safe place”. The common goal of these approaches is to heal psychological wounds from the past and present, to recognize false or dysfunctional beliefs and life patterns, to solve problems independently and competently , and to bring about a loving relationship with oneself ( self-love ) and others.

Material for inner-child work in psychotherapy: developing new life patterns and presenting them creatively

Basic assumptions

The basic assumption in working with the Inner Child is reflected in a sentence that is often quoted in this context: "It is never too late for a happy childhood", which is attributed to both Erich Kästner and Milton Erickson . The aim is, on the one hand, to raise awareness of positive experiences from childhood and thus make it usable as a resource , and on the other hand, in the "here and now", to independently give the emotional affection that was missing in childhood give and heal psychological injuries from childhood.

It is assumed that both positive and negative early childhood experiences are stored in the brain and, under certain conditions, are accessible to consciousness and thus can be experienced again. Afterwards, positive experiences such as childlike curiosity, enthusiasm , amazement , liveliness, spontaneity or the ability to be completely in the present or negative experiences such as childish vulnerability and childlike fears of injury and rejection can be experienced. It is believed that the longing for love and approval and for unconditional acceptance is an expression of basic needs in early childhood . ^{Pp. 20-25}

Working with the Inner Child

In working with the Inner Child, it is assumed that a person who experienced little love and recognition as a child and was often injured by disregard, deprivation of love, being abandoned or devalued, was damaged in his self-esteem and then as an adult an inappropriately great desire developed after being cared for by other people, and that with such a person even little criticism can update old childhood injuries and he is thus excessively vulnerable .

Initial idea of ​​the therapeutic work

If the child has experienced a lot of pain or trauma in the past , it may become disconnected from the inner adult. The adult wants to protect himself from feeling the child's pain and refuses to accept responsibility for the child. He does not want to feel his own helplessness and "surrender" or feels overwhelmed to look after the child. As they grew up, many people learned to throttle or cut off access to their Inner Child in order to suppress certain feelings. The problem arises because it is not possible to just ignore the bad feelings, but at the same time the access to the positive feelings is blocked.

The rejected Inner Child then feels inadequate, bad, unlovable and develops intense feelings of guilt and shame . It learns to be afraid that people will abandon it and reject it. This "unloved child" lives in the constant expectation of being rejected and projects this expectation onto other people, imputing them to permanently reject it. For example, minor criticism from the partner can cause panic fear because the inner child associates this criticism with familiar feelings of fear of punishment and rejection, and an in itself harmless situation can escalate inappropriately.

The "loveless adult" who does not accept the child behaves as his parents or other caregivers have shaped him. He acts according to wrong beliefs / resistance patterns to the inner child, for example they can be called:

• I can't make myself happy, others can do it better than me.
• Others are responsible for my feelings and I am responsible for theirs.
• I would be selfish and wrong in making myself happy.
• Basically, I am bad.
• It is best to push away needs for love and affection. ^{Pp. 20-25, 60-66}

Rejective attitude towards the inner child

Chopich and Paul regard a negative attitude towards working with the inner child as resistance in a similar sense to the way classical psychoanalysis understands resistance. They believe that the rejection of work with the inner child reflects an earlier real experience of rejection of the child and that this is expressed in statements like these:

• There is no inner child in me, others may have it, but I don't.
• Nobody in my workplace would respect me anymore if I were childlike.
• I'll never do anything if I let the kid inside me out.
• I can't trust the child, it will only cause me trouble.
• If I open up to my child, I will lose control of my life. ^{Pp. 35/36}

Objective of the therapeutic work

The aim of therapy is to establish a loving inner connection between the inner child and the loving adult in order to (re) gain access to the deep sources of joy, perception and intuition.

It is necessary that the inner adult choose to accept the child and connect with his "inner truth". It is an orientation for the adult to eliminate the wrong beliefs and to find better beliefs to live by. If the Inner Child is accepted, such good beliefs can be called:

• I am responsible for my own happiness.
• I am ready to perceive and accept my feelings.
• I am open to new things and changes in my life.
• I am strong enough to take care of myself and take responsibility for my wellbeing.
• I can be curious and playful, silly and spontaneous, lively and sensitive.
• But I can also be angry and sad, because through my self-love I recognize that all feelings are important parts of myself.

By assuming personal responsibility, people become more and more independent of the opinion and benevolence of others, which does not mean that they are no longer happy about other people's care. However, he realizes that he will not perish physically or mentally if a life situation makes it necessary that he has to take care of his own well-being. ^{Pp. 62-68}

Ideal idea of ​​the inner connection

The human being with his inner child in a loving connection, he experienced all of life differently: He feels affectionate with people and with all of nature connected , because it is connected with itself. This inner connection is a great source of strength and is a resource .

The inner child in psychotherapy

The conceptual idea of ​​an inner child as a part of the personality is used in many directions of psychotherapy and was already implicit in Freud's psychoanalytic theories, but was not so named for a long time. The inner child model is used in the following therapeutic directions, among others:

• The transaction analysis by Eric Berne . Further fictitious “inner instances” are assigned to the “child self”. The “adult self” becomes the “inner (loving) adult” or the “inner director”, the “parent self” becomes the “inner manager”. The director / inner adult stands for the decision-making level, the mediator, who is supposed to counter the spontaneous impulses of the inner child and the very top-heavy decisions of the inner manager with a decision that is appropriate for the situation.

• The schema therapy works by means of imagination with different child modes (injured, angry, undisciplined, happy child) and with so-called "maladaptive schemata", which correspond to the wrong beliefs / life patterns. Through imaginative role play and “ reparenting ” by the therapist, the “healthy adult” should be experienced and installed as a model in order to take care of the inner child in the future. ^{Pp. 233, 341/2}

• The Psychodynamic Imaginative trauma therapy (PITT): The inner child can be registered as a fictitious "inner stage" to an inner "safe place" placed where they are supplied from ideal "helper beings" and protected. ^{P. 101} In the stabilization phase of the PITT, special skills training that uses elements from dialectical behavioral therapy can also be used for a group of “adults with inner problem children”. ^{Pp. 51-91}

• The Katathym-Imaginative Psychotherapy works with similar images as the Psychodynamic Imaginative Trauma Therapy. ^{P. 197}

• In Ego State Therapy , the inner child or children are understood as different ego states. (Reddemann 2004 Imagination ... , p. 121) ^{p. 121} The psychodynamic view of recent developments moves away from the idea of ​​a homogeneous personality and regards inner-soul processes as a system of relationships of ego states that are in contact with each other and, in the case of illness, more contact or lose less.

• The Bonding (psychotherapy) but does not work with inner portions like "Inner Child", with the associated feelings and belief patterns from childhood.

• The Hakomi method is a body psychotherapeutic approach that seeks access to the inner child through body perception and focuses attention on physical sensations when working with the inner child.

• In "imaginative reprocessing" as part of EMDR therapy / Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing , the patient processes his memories in symbolic-metaphorical form. Processes that correspond to inner-child work often take place spontaneously.

• The systemic therapy will work Inner Child application on internal processes in the form of. It is based on the multiplicity of personality with parts and a leading, mediating self, between which a healthy state of equilibrium is strived for, whereby they are provided with resources and setting limits.

• In the inner team , the inner child is usually an important part of the inner team, along with many other voices that want to be heard and understood so that they can be integrated into one's own self and into life in a good way.

Contraindication

Working with the Inner Child is a form of investigative psychotherapy. It assumes a certain stability of the patient for processing and should only be carried out with the support of a trained psychotherapist in a protected therapeutic setting.

In the case of patients with a tendency towards fragmentation, it is questionable whether more holism can be achieved by working with internal parts. Rather, there is a risk of further increasing fragmentation. ^{P. 121}

In order to be able to work with the inner-child approach as part of Ego-State Therapy , a sufficiently stable I is necessary: ​​The person must be able to act reasonably competently as an adult in everyday life. This does not mean that the child is already being cared for by a competent inner adult. This is possible through imaginary inner helpers . However, dealing with childhood problems without first coping with current problems, for example with social-psychiatric help in everyday life, could be too much of a burden, and attention would be tied up by the current conflicts. ^{P. 123} It is also necessary to first work on everyday situations and activate resources when working with the inner child could activate so much traumatic material that it would make people unable to work. ^{P. 118}

effectiveness

The therapeutic work with the inner child approach has proven to be very effective. If patients can familiarize themselves with this work, this leads to a considerable increase in self-calming skills. ^{P. 127}

It is noticeable how quickly people change when they work with the inner child. This change is very profound and releases a great deal of strength and creativity when the wounds of the past are healed. ^{P. 11}

The inner child in the couple relationship

Relationships between people can also be described very succinctly on the basis of the concept of the inner child described above, this is most clearly visible in couple relationships. Two examples as indications of a multitude of possibilities:

communication

At least from watching, we know that people who have just fallen in love chuckle and chat in the department store like small, happy children who have forgotten the world around them, even as adults or even seniors. And they don't care about people who are standing by with a smile or a shake of the head. Or a love that was so great at the beginning suddenly turns into a fight or even hatred. Then even adult people can argue in such a way that an outsider would think: It's like in kindergarten , they are about to throw sand!

sexuality

Curiosity, uninhibited nudity, doctor games, for example, belong both to real children and to inner children in adults; Examples would be curious exploration of the other or role play. Also very interesting is a teenager who can show himself as a so-called “inner teenager” in adults . For example, some people are still looking for confirmation as a “man” or “woman” because they did not receive such recognition from their parents when they were teenagers. And so they look for recognition from others, e.g. B. as a "hot sweeper" who is interested in many and frequent sex, in groups of three or four, or even more extreme examples. All of this can be understood as the subconscious search of the teenage inside. However, because you are looking in the wrong place, namely with others and not in yourself - the teenage years are long gone - this longing will remain.

Literature (selection)

• Peter Bartning (2016): The Inner Child in the Couple Relationship . Herder-Verlag, ISBN 978-3-451-61375-3 .
• Susanne Hühn (2016): The inner child: Healing relationships , Schirner Verlag, Darmstadt, ISBN 978-3-8434-5133-8 .
• Peter Bartning (2015): On the way with the inner child. Living in harmony with yourself . Herder-Verlag, ISBN 978-3-451-06780-8 .
• Susanne Hühn (2013): The healing of the inner child . Schirner Verlag, Darmstadt, ISBN 978-3-89767-337-3 .
• W. Herbold, U. Sachsse (2007): The so-called inner child. From Inner Child to Self . Schattauer, Stuttgart, ISBN 3794525884 .
  • Review by Ingrid Bartley in Deutsches Ärzteblatt, December 2007.
• Jochen Peichl (2007): Inner Children, Perpetrators, Helpers & Co. Ego-State Therapy of the Traumatized Self . Velcro cotta. ISBN 3-608-89047-5 .
• Erika J. Chopich, Margaret Paul (2005): Workbook: Reconciliation with the Inner Child . ISBN 354836702X , ISBN 978-3548367026 .
  • English edition (1993): The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook: The 6-Step Inner Bonding Process for Healing Yourself and Your Relationships. San Francisco.
• Erika J. Chopich, Margaret Paul (1993): Reconciliation with the Inner Child . ISBN 3548357318 , ISBN 978-3548357317 .
  • English edition (1990): Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child . San Francisco.
• John Bradshaw (1994): The Child Within Us. How do I find myself . MensSana ISBN 978-3426870518 .
  • English edition (1990): Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child. New York.

Web links

• Lecture from the education server Hessen

Individual evidence

1. ↑ ^{a b c d e f} Erika Chopich, Margaret Paul: Das Arbeitsbuch. For reconciliation with the Inner Child. Ullstein Verlag, Berlin 2005, ISBN 9783548367026 .
2. ↑ ^{a b} B. Steiner, K. Krippner: Psychotraumatherapie. Depth psychological-imaginative treatment of traumatized patients. Chapter 5 Psychotrauma treatment with Katathym Imaginative Psychotherapy (5.3.3. Phase of the imaginative examination of the event. PDF; 200 kB) ( Memento of the original from October 6, 2007 in the Internet Archive ) Info: The archive link was inserted automatically and has not yet been checked . Please check the original and archive link according to the instructions and then remove this notice. , Schattauer, Stuttgart 2006, ISBN 3794524659 
3. ↑ J. Young, J. Klosko, M. Weishaar (2005): Schematherapie. A practice-oriented manual. Junfermann Verlag, Paderborn, ISBN 3873875780 .
4. ↑ ^{a b c d e f} L. Reddemann (2005): Psychodynamisch Imaginative Traumatherapie, PITT - Das Manual , Pfeiffer bei Klett-Cotta, Stuttgart ISBN 3608897291 .
5. ↑ W. Herbold, U. Sachsse (2007): The so-called inner child. From Inner Child to Self . Schattauer, Stuttgart, ISBN 3794525884 .
6. ↑ Jochen Peichl: Inner children, perpetrators, helpers & Co. Ego-state therapy of the traumatized self . Klett-Cotta, 2007, ISBN 3-608-89047-5 (from the series: Learning to Live).
7. ^ Arne Hofmann : EMDR. Therapy of post-traumatic stress syndromes . 3. Edition. Georg Thieme, Stuttgart, New York 2006, p. 64 (completely revised, expanded edition).
8. ↑ Richard C. Schwartz: Systemic Therapy with the Inner Family . 5th edition. Klett-Cotta, 2008, ISBN 3-608-89068-8 .
9. ↑ John Bradshaw (1994): The Child Within Us. How do I find myself. Droemer Knaur Publishing Group, ISBN 3426870517 .
10. ↑ For the following cf. Peter Bartning, The Inner Child in Couple Relationships . Herder-Verlag, Freiburg 2016, p. 13. ISBN 978-3-451-61375-3
11. ↑ See Peter Bartning, ibid, p. 101.
12. ↑ See Peter Bartning, ibid, p. 118 ff.

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