The weight of freedom

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The Weight of Freedom is an autobiographical novel by Florian Burkhardt , in which he talks about his wild adventures in Hollywood, in the fashion industry and as an "electroboy" in Zurich's party scene, but also about the breakdown, the stay in the psychiatric clinic and the years of seclusion tells. The book was published by Wörterseh-Verlag on February 1, 2018.

It's 1996. Florian Burkhardt is 21 and wants to emigrate from Switzerland to Los Angeles to become a famous actor. He finds a financier. With him, who plays his European manager, he is crossing the Atlantic to make a career in Hollywood. Obsessed with the idea, he has put together a fake portfolio and claims to have won several film awards. It's the time before the internet, he gets away with the dizziness. A renowned acting agent signs him up and the doors of show business are open to him. To his surprise, the world is only too happy to be conquered. He made it to the buddy of famous movie stars and almost to a role in the hottest television series of the time. But Florian has no patience. What is the big dream for many people quickly bores them.

After only a few months in the dazzling Hollywood world, Florian is headed for new shores. Quasi by the way, another door has opened, modeling. He receives orders through an agency. After a job for an American magazine, Florian is discovered by a model agent from Milan. Burkhardt starts a modeling career that catapults him from Milan to New York, Paris, London and Tokyo. He is signed by the most famous agencies and runs fashion shows for Dolce & Gabbana and Moschino, among others. Gucci and Prada are even fighting over exclusive contracts for him. Voted Newcomer of the Year, he moves to New York, where he works with the most famous photographers, including Albert Watson and David LaChapelle. Florian lives the big dream one more time. An internal and external alienation increased steadily in Florian's life during this time: he was on the threshold of megalomania. Isolated from the environment, with no friends and love life, the celebrated Burkhardt is actually on the brink. He confesses his homosexuality and falls in love during a visit to his native Zurich. A simple farmer's son has captured his heart. At the peak of his success, he withdraws and puts an end to his modeling career. He lets his agents know that they shouldn't take any more bookings and moves to his friend's farm to enjoy the simple life and first love.

After the relationship broke up quickly and because the word "impossible" does not exist in Burkhardt's world, he started in 1999 with crazy ideas in the still completely new Internet world. He begins to study multimedia design, works as a concept developer at the hottest Internet agency in Zurich at the time, and in a very short time he becomes a celebrated and highly paid Internet pioneer. He develops websites for companies such as Migros, Swisscom and SRF. The web is still new. Burkhardt is a lateral thinker and at the pulse of the Internet revolution. He was the first to create a video portal and put moving images online long before YouTube. His life in a hurry turns out to be an escape from his origins and past, which inexorably catch up with him. The psychological stress builds up in him and the collapse of his health follows. The year is 2001. Florian has to sit on a bench at Zurich main station and is forced to stay there when he realizes that his legs are failing. He can no longer drive the tram, train or taxi because he immediately gets panic attacks. He doesn't leave his apartment for months and is afraid. From one day to the next he gives up everything. He withdraws completely from the public. The panic attacks and phobias determine his everyday life.

When he can no longer stand it in the apartment, he is admitted to the "Burghölzli", Zurich's psychiatric clinic. There he was diagnosed with a "generalized anxiety disorder with a narcissistic personality structure with self-esteem and identity problems with parts of a social phobia". His phobias can only be kept in check with medication. In long months he has to learn again how to open a door, endure light and walk out of the building. When Florian was able to leave the clinic, he moved to quieter Bern to deal with his hectic life there.

Emergence

The success of the previous book My Mother's Child and the documentary film electroboy about his life motivated Florian Burkhardt to write this sequel.

expenditure

  • Florian Burkhardt: The weight of freedom. Novel . Wörterseh-Verlag, Gockhausen 2018, ISBN 978-3-03763-089-1 .

Web links

Individual evidence

  1. ↑ David Sarasin, Thomas Wyss: "The first diagnosis in the clinic was: Narcissism". Interview. In: Tages-Anzeiger , February 9, 2018, accessed on October 3, 2019.
  2. ↑ Samanta Siegfried: He no longer wants to be a savior. In: Der Bund , February 9, 2018, accessed on October 3, 2019.
  3. ↑ Diana Hagmann-Bula «Biography: The Man of Contradictions». In: Luzerner Zeitung , February 2, 2018, accessed on October 3, 2019.