Double messages

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As a double message (also double message or double bond ; English double bind ) is referred to in clinical psychology, social psychology and communication studies a dysfunctional (frequent use pathological ) paradoxical pattern of interpersonal communication , which often occurs in "disturbed" relationships. The term “double message” relates to the communicated information, the term “double bond” to the resulting reaction pattern, see → double bond theory .

Double messages represent a communication trap because they convey two messages at the same time - mostly on different communication levels , such as content level (mostly verbal ) and relationship level (often paraverbal or non-verbal ) , which contradict and mutually exclusive. The contradicting messages can come from the content of the spoken words, the tone of voice , the gestures , the facial expressions or actions.

The recipient of such messages is faced with the dilemma of how to behave, because he cannot follow both messages at the same time or consider them to be true and it is unclear to him which of the messages to heed. Mostly he cannot consciously recognize the ambiguity of this message, for example the discrepancy between (verbal) content and (non-verbal) aspect of the relationship, and has no way of reacting to it adequately. Such communication creates confusion, uncertainty, and stress for the recipient and, if double messages are used frequently, it can make the recipient of these messages sick in the long term or cause serious relationship disorders. Double messages can be used in manipulative relationships to put the partner in the wrong, to criticize, devalue, to make them insecure (and ultimately to weaken them), because the partner cannot act correctly and inevitably has to violate one of the two messages. Double bonds can play an important role in the development of attachment disorders in the parent-child relationship , e.g. B. in the case of emotional neglect or emotional abuse , in the context of childhood trauma or collusive relationship patterns in partnership relationships to generate or consolidate power structures, dependencies or, for example, in pathological " borderline " or " narcissistic " relationships.

Examples

Some simple examples of double messages:

  • When asked: "How are you?" The answer is with a suffering expression and a tearful voice: "I'm fine."
  • A compliment or a declaration of love with a petrified expression and an expressionless voice.
  • The request: “Come to me” with dismissive facial expressions and rejecting gestures (e.g. stop gesture, crossed arms).
  • A woman's request to her husband: "You could really surprise me with flowers again today for our wedding day." (Contradiction between request and surprise).
  • To the partner: "You can always do what you want, but never disappoint me (always meet my expectations)!"
  • The supervisor to the employee: "You don't have to do a lot of work with the project, but I need a perfect presentation from you that will convince all customers."
  • A man got two shirts from his girlfriend for Christmas. When he puts one of them on at the next meeting, she asks: "You don't like the other one?"
  • An offended man says to his wife, who has made an appointment with her friend (with suppressed anger): "Have a nice evening and don't think about me!"
  • An instruction from a boss to the head of department: "Fundamentally reform the work structures and organization in the department, but don't change anything in my company!"
  • The request: "Help me to cope with my problems, but do not interfere in my business and do not tell me what to do!"
  • The often quoted sentence: "Wash my fur, but don't get me wet!"

Gregory Bateson , Paul Watzlawick and their colleagues at the University of Palo Alto ( Palo Alto Group ) have dealt with the theoretical foundations of double bonds, such as communication structures , transaction levels , effects, epistemological explanations and therapeutic treatment approaches in the double bond theory they have developed .

See also

literature

  • Paul Watzlawick , Janet H. Beavin , Don D. Jackson : Human communication: forms, disorders, paradoxes. 11th unchanged edition, H. Huber, Bern 2007. ISBN 3-456-83457-8 .
  • Christiane Sautter, Alexander Sautter: Ways out of the dilemma: Understanding and solving double binds. 1st edition Verlag for Systemic Concepts, Wolfegg 2005. ISBN 3-9809936-1-2 .
  • Friedemann Schulz von Thun : disorders and clarifications: general psychology of communication. Original edition, special edition 2001 Rowohlt, Reinbek bei Hamburg 2001. ISBN 3-499-17489-8 .
  • Jurgen Ruesch, Gregory Bateson , Paul Watzlawick, Fritz B. Simon : Communication the social matrix of psychiatry. 2nd corrected edition Carl Auer, Heidelberg 2012. ISBN 3-89670-836-8 .
  • Jürg Willi : The two-way relationship: The unconscious interaction of partners as a collusion. Edition: 3, extended new edition, Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag, Reinbek near Hamburg. ISBN 3-499-62758-2 .
  • Jürg Willi: The two-way relationship. Causes of tension / disturbance patterns / clarification processes / solution models - analysis of the unconscious interaction in partner choice and couple conflict: the collusion concept. Rowohlt 1975, Reinbek near Hamburg 1999. ISBN 3-499-60509-0 .
  • Angelika Kutz: Toxic communication as a cause of illness in companies: The double bind phenomenon - an introduction for executives, consultants, coaches, (essentials) paperback - Springer-Verlag 2016. ISBN 3-658-12891-7 .

Individual evidence

  1. ^ Wilhelm Arnold: Lexikon der Psychologie Vol. 2. H - Psychodiagnostik . Bechtermünz, Augsburg 1997, ISBN 3-86047-508-8 .
  2. ↑ Paul Watzlawick, Janet H. Beavin, Don D. Jackson: Human Communication: Forms, Disorders, Paradoxes . 11th, unchanged. Ed. H. Huber, Bern 2007, ISBN 3-456-83457-8 .
  3. ↑ a b Christiane Sautter, Alexander Sautter: Ways out of the dilemma: Understanding and solving double binds . 1st edition. Verlag für Systemische Konzept, Wolfegg 2005, ISBN 3-9809936-1-2 .
  4. ↑ Jurgen Ruesch, Gregory Bateson, Paul Watzlawick, Fritz B. Simon: Communication, the social matrix of psychiatry . 2., corr. Edition Carl Auer, Heidelberg 2012, ISBN 978-3-89670-836-6 .
  5. ↑ Annette Schlemm: Double Bind. Retrieved September 2, 2017 .
  6. ^ Friedemann Schulz von Thun: Disturbances and clarifications: general psychology of communication . Original edition, special edition April 2001 edition. Rowohlt, Reinbek near Hamburg 2001, ISBN 3-499-17489-8 .
  7. ^ Rolf Merkle: Double-Bind. In: Psychology Lexicon. Retrieved September 2, 2017 .
  8. ↑ Tobias Bannert: Double-bind communication. Retrieved September 2, 2017 .
  9. ↑ Jürg Willi: The two-way relationship: causes of tension, disruption patterns, clarification processes, solution models: analysis of the unconscious interaction in partner choice and conflict between couples: the concept of collusion . 73–75 A thousand copies. Rowohlt, Reinbek near Hamburg 1998, ISBN 3-499-60509-0 .
  10. ↑ Angelika Kutz: Toxic communication as a cause of illness in companies. The double bind phenomenon - an introduction for managers, consultants, coaches . 1st edition. Springer-Verlag, Wiesbaden 2016, ISBN 978-3-658-12891-3 .
  11. ↑ Jürg Willi: The two-way relationship: the unconscious interaction of partners as a collusion . Revised and exp. New edition. Rowohlt-Taschenbuch-Verlag, Reinbek near Hamburg 2012, ISBN 978-3-499-62758-3 .