With closed eyes

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With closed eyes (AKA: 100 colpi di spazzola prima di andare a dormire - " A hundred strokes with the brush before bedtime ") is a book of Italian author Melissa Panarello they under the pseudonym Melissa P. published. Whether it is based on personal experiences and should be understood as an autobiography is disputed. The book was published in Germany in 2004.


15-year-old Melissa writes about her sexual experiences in a diary . The entries begin in 2000. The author describes the search for love, in the course of which she has to endure suffering and is involved in sexual excesses. Are described u. a. Affairs with tutors, students, and married men. Melissa takes part in sexual orgies and BDSM games.


The book sparked a scandal in Italy . Particularly controversial was the question of whether the depiction is based on one's own experiences at all .


Luca Guadagnino filmed the book in Italy in 2005 under the title Melissa P. The main roles were played by María Valverde and Geraldine Chaplin . The work was mostly rejected by Italian film critics.


  • Melissa P .: With closed eyes. The erotic diary, Goldmann, 2004, ISBN 3442457653