Nobody asked me
“Nobody asked me” is the title of a book by the Turkish Ayşe , published in September 2005 , in which she describes her life as an import bride . The subtitle reads: Forced into marriage - a Turkish woman in Germany tells . The foreword comes from the author and women's rights activist Serap Çileli , the afterword was written by Terre des Femmes .
The Munich journalist Renate Eder brought the reports of Ayşe, who was engaged at the age of 11 and married at the age of 14, into a 250-page book. It describes how her marriage resembles a prison, since her husband not only denies her any opportunity for education, but she is also mistreated and abused by her in-laws as a work slave until she finally decides to flee. The book was published by Blanvalet Verlag .
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Ayşe is considered to be the second of three children born in the central Anatolian village of Ballıdere in January 1965. Her exact date of birth was in the previous year and is not known even to her parents. Although she goes to school, she is still unable to write or read. Instead of going to school, the teacher often sent her to babysit her home. At 14, at the instigation of her aunt, she was forced to marry her cousin Mustafa, who lived in Germany . When she arrived in Germany, Mustafa raped her before her wedding night.
She has four children, but she only has contact with the two youngest:
- Can, born one year after the wedding
- Muhammad
- Birgül, she is a legal assistant and divorced
- Ali
Just two weeks after her first birth, she had to go to work in a factory, and she never saw any of the wages. For years she has to pay for Mustafa's antics. He beats and rapes her, even after the move to a new apartment and the relative separation from the mother-in-law has been successful.
After almost 20 years of horror, Mustafa beats her to hospital and Ayşe leaves him. Her second son then breaks off contact with her completely, Can even says: "You know, mom, it's best you would kill yourself."
Mustafa also acts: he kidnaps the two younger children to Turkey. Only after a year can she see her children again. She still has to pay for Mustafa's debts, money is scarce. Your relationship with a Croat fails. However, her experience does not prevent her from marrying her daughter to a Turk at the age of 18.