The pain, the future, my errors and me
The pain, the future, my mistakes and me ( original Swedish title: Här ligger jag och blöder ) is the debut novel by the Swedish writer Jenny Jägerfeld . The youth novel was published by Gilla Verlag in 2010 and the German translation by Birgitta Kicherer was published by Hanser Verlag in 2014 . For The Pain, the Future, My Mistakes and I , Jenny Jägerfeld received the August Prize in 2010 , the most important literary award in her country. The novel also received the lynx of the month in August 2014, a literary prize for books for children and young people, which is jointly awarded by the weekly newspaper Die Zeit and Radio Bremen .
The pain, the future, my mistakes and me is a book for young people about the search for identity, growing up, dealing with a developmental disorder like Asperger's Syndrome , a difficult parent-child relationship and first love.
action
The main character Maja Müller is 17 years old and lives with her father in Stockholm . Her parents are separated and her mother lives in Norrköping , a town near Stockholm. Maja is in the 10th grade of a high school and has hardly any friendships, except with Enzo, her best friend.
When she is about to saw up a board for a shelf, a birthday present for her mother, in art class, she slips and catches the tip of the left thumb. Her father suspects she intentionally injured herself. Her father and her teacher are initially not convinced that this is really an accident.
The next weekend Maja goes to visit her mother Jana, who, however, has disappeared without leaving a message or explanation. Instead of informing someone, Maja spends the weekend alone in her mother's apartment. The unusual and distant mother-daughter relationship between the two becomes clear in childhood memories: Maja longs for her mother's love and affection, but Jana is barely able to show her feelings and has difficulty interacting socially. At the same time, she often asks Maja for her opinion and then gives her undivided attention and interest.
At a party in the next house, Maja meets her neighbor Justin and a crazy girl named Debbie. She falls in love with Justin and the two sleep together.
Soon after, Maja finds out through an email from Jana to her father that Jana has Asperger's Syndrome. Maja then gets into a crisis and visits her mother in the psychiatry. There she is turned away by Jana and asked to leave. Maja then suffers a nervous breakdown.
Debbie, whose real name is Sarah, finds Maja in the ditch and takes her home with her for the night. The next day she brings Maja to Justin, who is actually called Jens.
Maja is angry at first that Jens did not contact her, but after a short discussion the two get along again. Jens drives Maja to her father in Stockholm. Maja speaks to her father and makes it clear to him that he should have told her about Jana's illness.
On the day of the graduation party, Jana shows up and apologizes to Maja. The family goes to dinner together and Maja then takes Jana to the train station. Jana gives Maja a letter in which she explains her situation and Maja assures her that she will always love her.
characters
- Maja
- Maja is a 17-year-old student in the 10th grade and the protagonist of the book. She has a mind of her own and is not afraid to go her own way without asking what others think of her. She is not very communicative, has few friends and is an outsider at school. However, her friend Enzo stands by her. Outwardly, she is casual and self-deprecating, but behind this facade she hides her pain, uncertainty, anger and doubt.
- Jana
- Jana is Maja's mother. Maja visits them regularly every other weekend. She is a psychologist and works at the university. She lives a secluded life and has few friends because she has difficulty interacting socially and cannot put herself into other people's minds. As the story progresses, it turns out that she has Asperger's Syndrome and her poor communication skills are due to the syndrome.
- Jonas
- Jonas is Maya's father, with whom she has lived since her parents separated. He loves his daughter more than anything and as a single father takes care of her affectionately and worriedly, but does not seem to fully understand her withdrawn nature. His free weekends, on which Maja is with her mother, are very valuable to him, because he can live out himself on them and begins a relationship that he keeps secret from Maja. He doesn't tell Maja anything about Jana's possible illness either.
- Enzo
- Enzo is Maya's only and loyal friend. He is very reserved himself, avoids arguments and arguments.
- Justin / Jens
- Justin / Jens is 20 years old and lives in Jana's neighborhood. Maja meets him at a party and falls in love with him. He also seems to develop feelings for her and ends up visiting her in Stockholm.
- Debbie / Sarah
- Debbie / Sarah is Jens' ex-girlfriend. The two are now on friendly terms. After Maja breaks down, Debbie / Sarah takes care of her and brings her to Jens.
Web links
Individual evidence
- ↑ Press release Die Zeit publishing group . Website Die Zeit publishing group. August 6, 2014. Retrieved June 9, 2015.