flirt
A flirtation is an erotically connoted approach between people. In the process, a non-binding contact is supposedly established. The flirtation can begin with eye contact , verbally ( small talk ) or through an action (e.g. opening a door, helping to carry something). The flirtation lives from building up and playing with erotic or sexual tension.
The term flirt should go back to the expression conter fleurette , or the maîtresse Fleurette de Nérac of King Henry IV of France.
Flirtatious behavior
Flirtations vary by context, as a study by Margaret Mead during World War II shows: At that time, hundreds of thousands of American soldiers were stationed in England and problems were reported between them and local girls. The soldiers found this very intrusive, while the soldiers reported that the girls wanted to sleep with them right away.
In her investigation, Margaret Mead found that the contact between the two sexes took place in 30 individual stages. The fact that the classification in these escalation levels was carried out differently led to problems.
"While the American men tried very quickly to kiss the girls, this step was again felt by them as completely inappropriate, as it could only be taken on their 'escalation ladder' in 25th place."
Kissing was already fifth among men. If the girls had agreed to kissing, the last five steps weren't a big obstacle. This in turn was unexpected for the men, so that they characterized their flirt partner almost as a prostitute .
Flirt on the Internet
There are a number of "flirt sites" on the Internet , ie social platforms designed for establishing contact. These can be divided into several categories:
- Dubious, chargeable flirt sites: alleged flirt sites, the aim of which is to get visitors to send premium rate SMS . In most cases, the "flirt partners" are employees of the site operator.
- Serious, chargeable flirt sites: There are flirt sites that are chargeable, but require moderate payment. For example, you pay for a "premium membership" for a certain period of time, during which you have the opportunity to contact other users. Without membership z. B. only allowed to view the user profile pages.
- Reputable, free flirt sites: These types of flirt sites are e.g. B. financed through advertising and are available to users free of charge.
Flirt party
In discotheques, pubs, etc. So-called flirt parties or single parties are often organized. Each visitor receives a sign with a number. If you want to contact someone, you can first write a message and hand it in at a "post office". There the numbers of the persons concerned are called up so that they can pick up their messages. Larger organizers who regularly hold such flirting parties have a computer system for writing the messages. If you got to know each other by message, you can decide to make personal contact.
Flirt schools
Flirting schools are designed to help you learn to flirt. The forms of instruction at the flirt schools vary from e-learning , workshops , seminars to individual coaching of different lengths. The content is often personal development and mastering seduction and charm .
See also
literature
- Hermann Bausinger : tapping, hitting, turning on. On the cultural history of approach strategies . Lecture, Tübingen 2002 (PDF; 127 kB) .
- Jeannette Bossi: Eye looks. On the psychology of flirtation. Huber, Bern et al. 1995, ISBN 3-456-82474-2 .
- Christiane Doermer-Tramitz : "... at first sight". Over the first thirty seconds of a man and woman meeting . Westdeutscher Verlag, Opladen 1990, ISBN 3-531-12121-9 (plus dissertation, University of Munich).
- Bas Kast: Love and how passion is explained. S. Fischer Verlag, Frankfurt am Main 2004, ISBN 3-10-038301-X .
- Werner Langthaler: Partner recognition, flirtation and our second nose. Waxmann, Münster et al. 2001, ISBN 3-89325-832-9 .
Web links
- Every beginning is flirting - sociocultural account of flirting. In: C6 Magazin , January 14, 2007, accessed August 3, 2012.
- Flirting as a way of life
Individual evidence
- ↑ What do we owe to King Henry IV? In: Tages-Anzeiger. August 2, 2010.
- ^ Paul Watzlawick: How Real Is Real? Souvenir Press, London 1983, ISBN 0-285-62573-X , pp. 63-64 (English).