Far from the tribe: when children are very different from their parents

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Far From the Tribe: When Children Are Very Different From Their Parents (original US title: Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity ) is a multi-award-winning non-fiction book by the US writer, journalist and lecturer for Psychiatry Andrew Solomon . It was published in English in 2012 and in German translation in 2013. In Far from the Tribe, Solomon deals with the question of how families get along with children who are physically, mentally and socially clearly different from their other family members. He describes these characteristics as “horizontal identities” and distinguishes them from “vertical identities”, those characteristics and values ​​that are passed on from parents to their children over generations, not only through DNA, but also through common cultural norms.

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Father and his son with Down syndrome

In his extensive work, Solomon introduces over 300 predominantly American families whose children are deaf , short , gifted , criminal, schizophrenic , severely physically and mentally disabled or autistic or have Down's syndrome . A separate chapter is dedicated to each of these limitations, in which Solomon also elaborates on the medical facts and the respective research history. In one of the last chapters of the book, he introduces women whose children were conceived by rape.

Solomon strongly contradicts the view that the lives of parents of disabled children are lives of constant concern. The extent to which life with a child who is very different from other family members becomes a catastrophe or an opportunity for this family is determined to a large extent by the behavior of the family environment. In addition, how much life with this child affects the parents' rhythm of life also plays a major role:

“Some people with a serious disability go through acute health crises or frightening seizures. Nevertheless, their care has predominantly a rhythm and human nature can adapt to everything that has a rhythm. Care can then be carried out competently. Even high but constant stress is easier to deal with than less high but erratic stress. That's one reason parents of people with trisomy 21 have an easier life than parents of people with schizophrenia or autism. With Down syndrome you know who you are dealing with day in day out and the requirements change only slightly from day to day. With schizophrenia and autism, on the other hand, you never know what craziness or what breakdown you will have to deal with today. "

Among the more well-known people portrayed in detail include Emily Perl Kingsley and her son with Down syndrome, Jason. As a writer for Sesame Street , Kingsley helped ensure that disabled children were given a place on this show. Emily Kingsley is also known for being the author of the essay Welcome to Holland , which compares the experience of giving birth to a disabled child to a long-planned trip to Italy that suddenly ends up in Holland, her son having taken on roles on TV shows several times . He also interviewed Thomas and Sue Klebold , parents of one of the perpetrators of the Columbine High School rampage in 1999, in depth , because he wanted to investigate how families would deal with one of their members becoming a felon.

“If you have a child who is short, you will not be dwarfed yourself, and if your child is deaf it does not affect your hearing. But having a child who is guilty seems like an indictment against mother and father. Parents whose children are well off count this for themselves, but the downside of this complacency is that parents whose children are in a bad mood must have made mistakes themselves. Unfortunately, impeccable parenting is no guarantee against corrupted children. "

Solomon chose to portray so-called “ child prodigies ” and their families as well, because he has come to believe that having a child who excels with their talents could be no less isolating, confusing, and crippling than having a child has a severe disability. Solomon comes to the conclusion that such a gifted child can shift the play of forces within a family to a similar extent as a child with schizophrenia or a severe disability. The personalities he portrayed who were the focus of public attention even as children include Yevgeny Igorewitsch Kissin , Leon Fleisher , Yefim Bronfman , Lang Lang and Vanessa-Mae and their respective families. Solomon points out that many artists marketed as child prodigies are very self-centered, but that it is often the parents who act out a narcissistic drive. Solomon goes on to say that they often transfer their own hopes and ambitions to their children and instead of cultivating curiosity in them, they pursue fame through them.

History of origin

The reason for Andrew Solomon to write this book was to find one's own identity. The experience of families in which children grow up who are very different from their parents

“... felt fascinatingly familiar to me because I am gay myself. Gay people tend to grow up under the influence of parents who are heterosexual themselves and who feel that their children would be better off if they were also heterosexual. Sometimes they torment their children with the demand that they simply adapt. "

Andrew Solomon was already in 2001 for his book Saturn's Shadow. The Dark Worlds of Depression has been awarded the National Book Award . Among other things, the award earned him scholarships from several foundations. During the time he was working on Weit vom Stamm, he received rights to live with Yaddo , the MacDowell Colony and the Ucross Foundation and was supported by the Rockefeller Foundation Bellagio Center .

Awards and nominations

Far From Trunk was voted one of the Top Ten Books of 2012 by The New York Times . It won the National Book Critics Circle Award in the non-fiction category , received an award from the National Council on Crime and Delinquency , the Anisfield-Wolf Book Award and the Dayton Literary Peace Prize, and an award from the US National Multiple Sclerosis Society , the J. Anthony Lukas Book Prize and was selected by the New Atlantic Independent Booksellers Association (NAIBA) as Book of the Year in the non-fiction category.

German-language reviews

expenditure

The first edition appeared in the United States in November 2012 and two months later in the United Kingdom with the title Far from the Tree: A Dozen Kinds of Love . The German edition was published in October 2013 in Germany by S. Fischer Verlag . Antoinette Gittinger, Enrico Heinemann, Ursula Held and Ursula Pesch were involved in the translation from the American.

  • Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity. Scribner, New York, 2012, ISBN 978-1-4767-0695-5 .
  • Far from the tribe: when children are very different from their parents. S. Fischer, 2013, ISBN 978-3-10-070411-5 .

Single receipts

  1. ^ Solomon: Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity . Scribner, New York, 2012, ISBN 978-1-4767-0695-5 . Chapter Prodigies . E-book position 7426.
  2. ^ Solomon: Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity . Scribner, New York, 2012, ISBN 978-1476706955 . Chapter Prodigies . E-Book position 7440. The original quote is: While some people with severe disabilities may experience acute health crises or frightening seizures, much of their care has a rhythm, and human nature adapts to anything with a rhythm. The care can be done competently. An extreme but stable stress is easier to handle than a less extreme but erratic one. This is one reason why parents of people with Down syndrome have an easier time than parents of schizophrenics or of people with autism; with Down syndrome, you know with whom you are dealing from day to day, and the demands on you change relatively little; with schizophrenia, you never know what weirdness is about to strike; with autism, what meltdown moment.
  3. ^ Solomon: Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity . Scribner, New York, 2012, ISBN 978-1476706955 . Chapter Crime . E-book position 10943. In the original the quote is: If you have a child who is a dwarf, you are not dwarfed yourself, and if your child is deaf, it does not impair your own hearing; but a child who is morally culpable seems like an indictment of mother and father. Parents whose kids do well take credit for it, and the obverse of their self-congratulation is that parents whose kids do badly, must have erred. Unfortunately, virtuous parenting is no warranty against corrupt children.
  4. ^ Solomon: Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity . Scribner, New York, 2012, ISBN 978-1-4767-0695-5 . Chapter Prodigies .
  5. ^ Solomon: Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity . Scribner, New York, 2012, ISBN 978-1-4767-0695-5 . Chapter Prodigies . E-Book position 8973. In the original the quote is: While many performers are self-involved, it is often the parents of prodigies who are most obviously narcissistic. The may invest own hopes, ambitions, and identities in what their children do rather than who their children are. Instead of cultivating curiosity, they may sprint for fame.
  6. ↑ Andrew Solomon: Far from the Tree , opening chapter: Son . The original quote is: The whole situation felt arrestingly familiar to me because I am gay. Gay people usually grow up under the purview of straight parents who feel that their children would be better off straight and sometimes torment them by pressing them to conform.
  7. ^ Yaddo: Annual Report 2010 . 2010. Archived from the original on November 14, 2011. Retrieved on April 23, 2014.
  8. ^ MacDowell Colony: MacDowell . Summer 2007. Archived from the original on October 4, 2013. Retrieved on April 23, 2014.
  9. ^ MacDowell Colony: Annual Report for the Year Ending March 2009 . March 2009. Archived from the original on January 6, 2011. Retrieved on April 23, 2014.
  10. ^ Ucross Foundation: Alumni List . Retrieved April 23, 2014.
  11. ^ The Rockefeller Foundation: Bellagio Center: The First Fifty Years . 2009. Archived from the original on March 2, 2011. Retrieved on April 23, 2014.
  12. ^ The 10 Best Books of 2012 . In: The New York Times , November 30, 2012. 
  13. ↑ Barbara Hoffer: National Book Critics Circle Announces Awards for Publishing Year 2012 . In: Critical Mass . February 28, 2013. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
  14. ^ National Council on Crime & Delinquency: The Winners of the 20th Annual Media for a Just Society Awards . June 20, 2013. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
  15. ^ Anisfield-Wolf Book Award: Andrew Solomon Wins the 2013 Anisfield-Wolf Prize for Nonfiction . April 22, 2013. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
  16. ↑ Meredith Moss: 2013 Dayton Literary Peace Prize winners announced . In: Dayton Daily News , September 24, 2013. Retrieved April 23, 2014. 
  17. ^ Far from the Tree. In: andrewsolomon.com. December 11, 2017, accessed December 2, 2018 .
  18. ^ Ron Charles: Andrew Solomon wins Lukas Book Prize . In: Washington Post , April 18, 2013. Retrieved April 23, 2014. 
  19. ^ New Atlantic Independent Booksellers Association: NAIBA Book of the Year Awards . August 21, 2013. Archived from the original on October 5, 2013. Retrieved on April 23, 2014.
  20. ↑ Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity . In: Simon & Schuster . November 13, 2012. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
  21. ^ Far from the Tree: A Dozen Kinds of Love . In: The Random House Group . February 7, 2013. Retrieved April 23, 2014.