The perfect mesh
The perfect mesh. Confessions of a Ripper (original: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists ) is an autobiographical book by the American Rolling Stone journalist Neil Strauss published by List Verlag in Germany in 2006 . In this work he reports on two years of his life, during which he immersed himself in the subculture of the seducer scene under the pseudonym "Style" and went from being an average man to one of the biggest pick-up artists and dating coaches in the scene. The book was a great sales success when it was published in the USA in 2005 and a year later in Germany and made both Strauss and his mentor Erik von Markovik (“Mystery”) known to a wider audience.
Table of contents
Neil Strauss is a journalist and typical average consumer who one day receives an assignment from his editor to research the then growing subculture of pick-up artists in the USA. Strauss, who has been frustrated by women since his youth, is fascinated and dives deep into the scene under the pseudonym "Style" to meet professional dating coaches such as Ross Jeffries , David DeAngelo and Erik von Markovik ("Mystery"), who is his mentor and Friend becomes. “Style” soon surpassed its teachers and, despite its inconspicuous appearance, becomes the biggest “pick up artist” on the scene. In the book, journalist Strauss also describes professional encounters with Tom Cruise , Courtney Love , Britney Spears and Dalene Kurtis , and how the self-confidence created by the subculture has helped him.
Strauss boasts in the book that he has up to 10 girlfriends at the same time, while von Markovik wants to train his partners to become bisexual playmates. But when the two settled in Los Angeles , founded a mini-Playboy mansion in the style of Hugh Hefner and wanted to make big money with parties and seminars, the two of their business partners Owen Cook ("Tyler Durden") and Nicholas Kho ( "Papa") booted out. In the end, Strauss meets guitarist Lisa Leveridge ; this relationship lasted a year until Leveridge left him in 2006 for Robbie Williams .
Several dating coaches who are well-known in the scene appear in the book. a. the NLP- focused hypnotist Ross Jeffries, the trained broker David DeAngelo, whose "Double Your Dating" strategy is based on humor and positive self-image, and the trained magician Erik von Markovik alias "Mystery", whose "Mystery Method" is based on targeted attention and Provocation is based. The Internet is the main accepted platform for sharing experiences and there is a heavy use of slang (e.g. PUA for pick up artist or AFC for average frustrated chump ) and a strong Do-It-Yourself -Attitude. Despite the focus on the elevation, the scene is also described as helpful towards men with inferiority complexes and for absolute beginners.
But the book also shows the dark side of the hunt for women. Despite great success with the opposite sex, Strauss feels unfulfilled, and von Markovik suffers two nervous breakdowns and has to go to psychiatry .
As the book progresses, Strauss realizes for himself that people like Jeffries, DeAngelo, Cook and Kho are more about gaining money and power when “tearing open”. According to von Markovik, "every man lives only 28,000 days and his genes will die out without sex (and children resulting from it)". It should be noted, however, that life as a pick-up artist and starting a family are more likely to be in conflict: Strauss himself claims to have been monogamous since his marriage (2013).
consequences
Strauss married in 2013 and “buried” his alter ego as a pick-up artist at his bachelorette party. and fathered one child. In 2011, he was critical of his life as a ripper:
“If I met my younger ripper me, I wouldn't like him. I had to become him to reach who I am today, but the path was superficial ... The three most important things in a relationship are honesty, trust and respect, and if you don't have them, you have no love. A good friend told me to first date your sweetheart for a year, then live together for a year, and then be engaged for a year before you get married. That is sensible."
Nicholas Kho also expressed mixed feelings about his engagement (2013):
“I have bittersweet feelings about the whole pickup industry. I like that they teach self worth and techniques, but when it comes to 'sexual behaviors' women are quite a bit made objects by men. But if everything leads to getting a real girlfriend, that's okay. "
In 2017, Strauss published the follow-up book The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships , in which he critically reflected on his life after his marriage. Here he explains that he cheated on his wife with her best friend and then underwent therapy. After he was diagnosed with sex addiction , ADHD , anxiety disorders and depression , he experimented with polyamory , swinging and open relationships, until he stated that his hedonistic lifestyle was a little bit different. a. based on unprocessed childhood experiences: a. Quarrel between his parents, his father's infidelity and his mother's admission that his conception was a "slip up". Strauss concludes that he finally wants to be "his own man" and, after reconciling with his wife, swears to his newborn son that he will always be there for him.
reception
Despite bestseller status in the US and significant sales, "The perfect scam" in Germany was by critics as cynical would-scandal book panned .
“From page 140 onwards, the Loser Strauss mutates into the mouth-ripper of the century. Here and there the habitual macho shows trace elements of charm and understanding and admits that he sometimes feels quite stupid. "
“The rioters fire off a series of small, targeted disparagements. Anyone who has not yet fallen asleep can do a page-long self-adulation, which is peppered with a few self-doubts, so that it doesn't get too monotonous. "
Filming plans
Sony originally bought the filming rights to The Game and recruited director Chris Weitz for it . Spyglass Entertainment bought these rights and hired Dan Weiss to write a script for it.
expenditure
- German edition: List-Verlag (2006); ISBN 978-3-471-78828-8
Footnotes
- ↑ 'The Game' Scribe Neil Strauss: My Single Life Is Dead , TMZ.com
- ^ Regrets of a pick-up artist , smh.com.au
- ↑ I'm marrying a professional pick-up artist: Meet the woman who is getting hitched to The Game's serial seducer , Daily Mail
- ^ The Redemption of Neil Strauss , slate.com
- ↑ Neil Strauss: 'My thinking was: If this woman's going to be naked with me - I must be OK. It doesn't last '
- ↑ Neil Strauss on the Truth, Monogamy and Relationships , Huffington Post
- ↑ Der Maul-Aufreißer, Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, February 26, 2006
- ↑ Neil Strauss "The Perfect Scam" ( Page no longer available , search in web archives ) Info: The link was automatically marked as defective. Please check the link according to the instructions and then remove this notice. , hronline.de
- ↑ Chris Weitz Getting Into the "Game" ( Memento from March 16, 2007 in the Internet Archive )
- ↑ Lady killers | Macleans.ca - Culture - Books ( Memento of the original from May 12, 2011 on WebCite ) Info: The archive link was automatically inserted and not yet checked. Please check the original and archive link according to the instructions and then remove this notice.
- ↑ Weitz putting 'Game' face on ( Memento from March 11, 2007 in the Internet Archive )
- ^ Garett, Dianne (August 22, 2007). " Spyglass nabs 'The Game' rights ( Memento of the original from October 25, 2008 in the Internet Archive ) Info: The archive link has been inserted automatically and has not yet been checked. Please check the original and archive link according to the instructions and then remove this note. " Variety . Retrieved September 19, 2007.
Web links
- Jane Ganahl: Ahead of the game / Rock scribe Neil Strauss became an unlikely master of seduction, and he's helping other shy guys do the same . In: San Francisco Chronicle . September 25, 2005.