Sexuality Dilemma

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Sexuality or masculinity dilemma describes the fundamental dilemma of human sexuality as a conflict between autonomy and dependency on the basis of drive theory ( psychoanalysis ). The terms were coined by the German social psychologist Rolf Pohl .

In male hegemonic cultures, the sexuality dilemma is a masculinity dilemma, since men are considered the autonomous gender and have to suppress their own dependencies on women . This leads to misogynous , that is, women-degrading attitude patterns, which remain largely unconscious due to the repression. For the first time, the concept of the masculinity dilemma offers a psychological explanation for misogyny, sexism and anti-feminism .

Dependency-autonomy conflict as a fundamental sexuality dilemma

The term sexuality dilemma goes back to the social psychologist Rolf Pohl, who coined the term in his book Feindbild Frau . He defines this dilemma as "the impossibility of escaping the tension between autonomy and dependence".

The starting point is the distinction between needs such as hunger and the peculiarities of human sexuality . Sexual desire is always tied to an object, but at the same time it aims at the absoluteness of object freedom. The object is the source of satisfaction and prevents it. h .: In order for recognition to be achieved, a person has to get involved with his counterpart and accept it as an autonomous being. Recognizing the other would, however, lead to one's own claim to absoluteness having to be given up, which leads to a paradox . The autonomy is lost the moment the second person actively recognizes it.

The collision between absolute independence and the desire for recognition was already described by Hegel as an insoluble and ambivalent conflict and was also taken up by the feminist psychoanalyst Jessica Benjamin , to whom Pohl refers.

Masculinity dilemma: dependency-autonomy conflict in male-dominated societies

According to Pohl, the sexuality dilemma in male-dominated societies ( male hegemony ) is binary-sexually separated, linked to domination and thus apparently comes to an end. In fact, it becomes a masculinity dilemma and leads to irresolvable contradictions in the male subject constitution.

In his concept of the masculinity dilemma , Pohl refers critically to David Gilmore , an American ethnologist who, in his study “Mythos Mann”, deals with cross-cultural images of masculinity, which he traces back to a “common basic pattern”: the male gender, which is found in sexuality - and the dilemma of recognition as the autonomous posits must be fought for and artificially maintained. Due to the struggle for masculinity, it is fundamentally unstable, as it is constantly questioned whether one is a “real” or “true” man.

According to Pohl, an independent, autonomous identity can only be developed through the “birth” of the boy into the world of the man. The later heterosexual turn as a man to woman remains ambivalent and expresses itself both in the “contempt” and in the lust for women. In order to counteract this constant doubt, the hegemonic male-heterosexual structure of desire is colored by a tendency to “elimination” or “devaluation” of women and femininity. The dilemmatic traits are thus denied and (male) autonomy is linked to domination. At the same time, however, the dependence on female objects always remains. The “desire to return to the nurturing mother of the early infantile period” also threatens the male-autonomous identity.

The societal creation basis of the masculinity dilemma is the notion of male superiority and female inferiority, which is described in sociology. Initially, this asymmetry was described, beginning with Max Weber, as patriarchy and today predominantly as hegemonic masculinity ( Raewyn Connell ). As a result of this social framework, men are under "more or less strong pressure not only to pose as the more important and superior gender and to prove themselves" in an emergency "”. Ie men are compelled to establish and maintain superior masculinity, i. H. inscribe in the soul and body of men. This leads to the permanent "dependency-autonomy conflict", which Pohl calls the "masculinity dilemma": He describes this as a "predicament between the desire for autonomy and the fear of dependency". Because despite the compelling claim to superiority and independence, men in male hegemonic cultures are mostly dependent on women in three ways:

  1. Dependence on women in childhood and adolescence: Since women and mothers are responsible for caring for children in male hegemonic cultures, men experience an existential and emotional dependence on their mother or other women throughout their childhood and adolescence.
  2. Dependence of heterosexual men on the object of desire : women: When men become heterosexual in youth or adulthood , women become objects of sexual desire. Thus, through their own sexuality, they become highly and permanently dependent on women.
  3. Dependence on the ability of women to give birth and breastfeed: Since only women have the ability to conceive and breastfeed, men not only develop “envy of childbirth”, but also “envy of motherhood”. The “idealization of the maternal” creates an “idea of ​​ideal motherliness”, which the father subsequently exposes as inadequate. This “idealization of the maternal with simultaneous devaluation of the woman as mother” enables the “demonstration of the superiority of the father” or the “appreciation of the father as the embodiment of a superior parental principle”.

In order to meet the demands of independence and superiority, all three aspects of male dependence on women, mothers and femininity must be devalued and repressed. Since this defense mechanism of repression excludes the devaluation of women, mothers and femininity from conscious imagination , misogynous attitudes usually remain unconscious. As a result of this devaluation, women and especially mothers often become the projection screen for virulent defenses against femininity and thus a scapegoat . Defending against and devaluing femininity can even lead to the nullification or declaration of nothing to women or mothers, for example through emotional or physical violence .

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Individual evidence

  1. ^ Rolf Pohl: Enemy woman: Male sexuality, violence and the defense of the feminine. Hanover 2004, p. 175.
  2. ↑ Jessica Benjamin: The Shackles of Love. Psychoanalysis, Feminism, and the Problem of Power. 1995, p. 34.
  3. ^ Rolf Pohl: Woman as an enemy. Hanover 2004, p. 19.
  4. ^ Rolf Pohl: Woman as an enemy. Hanover 2004, p. 40.
  5. ^ Rolf Pohl: Woman as an enemy. Hanover 2004, p. 33.
  6. ^ Rolf Pohl: Woman as an enemy. Hanover 2004, p. 25.
  7. ↑ a b Rolf Pohl: Men - the disadvantaged sex? Defenses against femininity and anti-feminism in the discourse on the crisis of masculinity . In: Group psychotherapeutic group dynamics . tape 48 , 2012, p. 296-324 .
  8. ↑ Rolf Pohl: Father is the best. About the rebirth of a hero in the social science family discourse . In: Mechthild Bereswill, Kirsten Scheiwe, Anja Wolde (eds.): Paternity in change. Multidisciplinary analyzes and perspectives from a gender theory perspective . Weinheim / Munich 2006, p. 171-190 .
  9. ↑ Rolf Pohl: Is there a crisis in masculinity? Defenses against femininity and anti-feminism as building blocks of hegemonic masculinity. March 26, 2015, accessed August 14, 2017 .