Hand kiss
A kiss on the hand is a completed or deliberately incomplete kiss on the back of a hand that the addressee usually holds out specifically for it. It can be given out of respect , submission, or love , among other things .
The traditional kiss on the hand
In Europe
Men versus women
According to traditional etiquette , a kiss on the hand can be performed when a man wants to express particular appreciation, devotion, humility, admiration, homage or admiration for a woman. To do this, he bows his neck respectfully in front of her and respectfully indicates a kiss on the right hand she has offered, which he gently lifts up beforehand. When he straightened up after he finished kissing the hand, the man should make eye contact. Women keep any gloves on. It is considered faulty if the lady's hand is held too tightly or jerked upwards. Likewise, it is wrong for the hand to be actually kissed (i.e., not just hinted at). If a man actually kisses a woman's hand, this may be interpreted as a declaration of love.
Nowadays rules are considered to be outdated, according to which a kiss on the hand is only due to married women or can only be performed in closed rooms.
The longing, which can lie in the mere hint, has a cultural-historical tradition (largely forgotten in the western world) ( I kiss your hand, Madame ). In particularly traditional societies or families, the kiss on the hand is still the common form of marriage proposal today. The future groom first kneels down in front of the mother of the bride and presents his request. If he receives the approval of his future mother-in-law, she first extends her hand to kiss him. Then he kneels at the feet of his fiancée and asks her to be his wife. If she also agrees, she also allows him to kiss her hand as a token of her consent, which he does with the greatest possible respect. Then he puts the wedding ring on her before he takes her now ring-adorned hand, still kneeling, respectfully to his lips with the nape of the neck bent. This second kiss on the hand, at which the hand and the wedding ring are kissed at the same time, expresses the man's devotion and humility towards her, who at this moment changes from his fiancé to his lady and wife.
Towards dignitaries
Incidentally, the kiss on the hand is still used in Europe with Catholic and Orthodox clergy, from the bishop upwards, and with female monarchs, although as a rule it is not mandatory. With clergymen, the signet ring worn on the right hand is kissed , with the pope the fisherman's ring . In the past it was customary to kiss the fisherman's ring while kneeling, today a more or less deep bow is sufficient for men and a slight squat for women. To monarchs, for example opposite the queen , the kiss on the hand is usually only hinted at, not fully executed. The man makes a clear bow , the lady, depending on the regulations, a simple curtsey .
A well-known scene from the early Federal Republic of Germany is the kiss on the hand, with which the mother of a prisoner of war, Konrad Adenauer, thanks for the return of the ten thousand .
Outside of Europe
Turkey
In Turkey and also in some traditional societies in East and Southeast Asia, it is quite common to kiss the hand in greeting out of respect for parents, teachers and much older relatives or acquaintances. This happens e.g. B. after long reunions, at celebrations or after special events such as engagement or marriage. In this tradition, the person being respected is first kissed on the back of the hand and then briefly placed on their forehead. Following the Islamic tradition, however, this is done almost exclusively with older people and only in exceptional situations with people of the same age or even younger people.
Origins
Sociological rule
The kiss on the hand has its origin in the kissing of the signet ring of a high-ranking nobleman or clergyman in the Middle Ages and in the early modern period . The signet ring was a symbol and legitimation of power, which was shown respect and submission through the kiss. From this the kiss on the hand developed in absolutism as a sign of the most personal homage of the subject to the (male) ruler. In the 17th and 18th centuries it was considered a special favor to be given the ruler's hand, which, as a matter of course, was not shaken but kissed. This favor was usually reserved for members of the nobility and those particularly close to the monarch - even at a comparatively progressive institution such as the Herzoglich Württembergischen Karlsschule , as the young Friedrich Schiller experienced:
“The statutes of the Charles School strictly forbade any contact between noble and bourgeois academics. They were separated from one another by clothing, hierarchy, and rules that were humiliating for the commoners. For example, the duke offered nobles a hand to kiss. Commoners had to bend their knees and kiss the hem of his skirt. "
All the greater the award when a monarch kissed a subordinate's hand! During his quarrel with King Frederick the Great in 1753 , for example, Voltaire expressly emphasized to his friends that the king had "often kissed the hands of him, the bourgeois writer, out of sheer admiration for his literary genius".
Even in the 19th century, the kiss on the hand was still considered an honor in Germany, not a humiliation. Prince Kraft zu Hohenlohe-Ingelfingen reports how Prussian soldiers behaved towards King Wilhelm I of Prussia after the victory in the Battle of Königgrätz when he appeared among them on the battlefield:
"Everyone pressed on to kiss his hands, and since not everyone could do it, those who could kiss his boots or the horse's tail were satisfied."
Even within the - aristocratic and non-aristocratic - families, the kiss on the hand was a common form of special reverence for father and mother. Crown Prince Friedrich Wilhelm of Prussia noted in his diary about the moment of the imperial proclamation in the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles in 1871:
“This moment was powerfully moving, yes overwhelming and looked wonderfully beautiful. I bent one knee in front of the Kaiser [his father, now Kaiser Wilhelm I ] and kissed his hand, whereupon he picked me up and hugged me deeply. "
The practice of kissing the ruler's hand was carried over to other comparable employment relationships. The Prussian Minister Karl Heinrich von Boetticher is reported to have "kissed goodbye" with his employer, Prince Otto von Bismarck , in 1890 , to whom he personally owed a lot. It is said of the later General Field Marshal August von Mackensen that he “created a new custom for the army in 1904 by kissing the hand of the Kaiser [that is, Wilhelm II ]”. Finally, in his drama The Last Days of Mankind, Karl Kraus lets a newly ennobled parvenu his acquaintance, an official at the imperial court, in the summer of 1914, shortly before the outbreak of World War I , a “kiss on the hand of His Serene Highness” - what is meant is the First Chief Chamberlain, Prince Montenuovo - align.
By 1900 at the latest, the kiss on the hand of monarchs and high superiors in Western and Central Europe was widely seen and criticized as a sign of unnecessary self-denial and servility as well as an expression of questionable Byzantinism . With the fall of the German and Russian monarchies in 1917/18 it was completely out of use. Bourgeois rulers, including dictators, were not kissed on the hand, no matter how much their position was comparable to that of absolute kings.
In Britain , the ceremony at which a politician is asked by the monarch to form a government is still known today as kissing hands . The kiss on the hand is a sign of loyalty. However, a physical kiss on the hand (usually) no longer takes place during the ceremony.
Gender-sociological
While the kiss on the hand has lost its domination-sociological dimension in Europe, the gender-sociological one still exists. For centuries it was the usual way in which men greeted women, especially in aristocratic and upper-class circles. It was considered gross to shake a woman's hand. In Austria, the tradition of kissing the hand was maintained well into the 20th century and is still used on special occasions such as the Vienna Opera Ball or in the dance school as well as in certain social circles. Accordingly, the greeting "Kiss the hand!", Which is related to the kiss on the hand, was also used there until recently . This is also the case in Hungary, where “kezét csókolom!” (I kiss your hand.) To “csókolom!” (I kiss you) is still common today, or in Romania, where the greeting is “sărut mâna ! ”(I kiss the hand) reads.
In Poland, the kiss on the hand is still common today. Older men in particular use this form as an expression of a big thank you, an apology or a congratulation. The kiss on the hand is less common among young Poles, but not entirely uncommon. In the case of a marriage proposal , the granting of a kiss on the hand by the future bride counts as acceptance of the proposal, with the future groom kneeling and holding the lady's hand to his lips.
literature
- Norbert Elias : The courtly society . Studies on the sociology of royalty and the court aristocracy . 2nd Edition. Luchterhand, Darmstadt 1975 (6th edition. Suhrkamp, Frankfurt / Main 1992).
- Wolf Graf von Baudissin : Spemann's golden book of custom . Berlin / Stuttgart 1901, No. 318: The kiss on the hand .
- Lillian Eichler: One way or another? Pointers for social success . Stuttgart undated, p. 128: The kiss on the hand .
- Karlheinz Graudenz: The book of etiquette . Marbach 1956, p. 314 ff: The kiss on the hand .
- F. W. Koebner : The gentleman. A master’s breviary. Berlin 1913 (ND Munich 1976), p. 84 ff .: The kiss on the hand.
- Eustachius von Pilati: Etiquette chats . 3. Edition. Berlin 1907, p. 148 ff .: Hand kissing - dancing .
- C. Bernd Sucher : Cell phone, hand kiss, courtesy: The manual of good behavior. Droemer / Knaur, Munich 2007.
Web links
Individual evidence
- ↑ Alexander Freiherr von Fircks / Agnes Anna Jarosch: Business etiquette for advanced learners . FAZ-Buchverlag, Frankfurt / Main 2011, ISBN 978-3-89981-178-0 , p. 26f.
- ↑ v. Fircks / Jarosch, p. 26f.
- ↑ Carmen Kahn-Wallerstein: The woman in the shadow: Schiller's sister-in-law Karoline von Woliehen . Bern u. a. 1970, p. 32.
- ↑ Quotation from Wolfgang Venohr : Fridericus Rex . Bergisch Gladbach 1990, p. 292.
- ↑ From my life . Volume 4, Berlin 1907, p. 216.
- ↑ Quotation from Johannes Hohlfeld (ed.): Deutsche Reichsgeschichte in documents 1849-1926 . Volume 1, Berlin 1927, p. 80.
- ^ Karl-Heinz Janßen : The discharge . In: Zeit-Punkt , 2/1992, p. 21.
- ↑ Walter H. Nelson: The Hohenzollern . Munich 1996, p. 340.
- ↑ The last days of mankind (= Writings , Volume 10). Frankfurt / Main 1986, p. 167.
- ↑ See for example John Röhl : Kaiser, Hof und Staat. Wilhelm II and German politics . 3. Edition. Munich 1988.
- ↑ David Cameron new British Prime Minister . ( Page no longer available , search in web archives ) Info: The link was automatically marked as defective. Please check the link according to the instructions and then remove this notice. Kleine Zeitung, May 11, 2010
