Vanilla sex

Vanilla sex (from English vanilla " vanilla ", in the figurative sense: "simple, without extras") is a term that is mainly used in BDSM circles and the LGBT scene for sexual types that do not contain any sadomasochistic or fetish-oriented elements ( regardless of whether heterosexual or homosexual ). Followers of BDSM use it to refer to "non-BDSM sex". Vanillasex refers to plain vanilla ("only vanilla") - derived in the USA from the most popular ice cream type "vanilla", which is considered to be the simplest pure taste - and means something ordinary with no extras. In some contexts, the expression is also used disparagingly in the sense of "boring, just normal". The term vanilla sex was spread through cross-border contacts within the subculture in regions with other languages ​​and slowly took on the meaning of " conventional sex without experiments". In heterosexual circles with conventional sex , shortly vanilla or German "vanilla", the (boring) missionary position designated.

From conventional sex differs vanilla sex (in German-speaking), the even consciously avoids extras and experiments, but more on tenderness and cuddling is created, some without sexual intercourse . A GfK - survey of 1,000 members of the dating portal LoveScout24 revealed early in 2020 that 14% of women wanted "more harder sex," compared with 11% of men - "more tender sex" desired 30% of women, but 37% of men . Bondage liked 8% and SM 5% of all respondents.

Word origin

The transmitted general meaning of vanilla had the Oxford English Dictionary already recorded in the 1970s in his vocabulary as "simple, basic, conventional [...] without interesting or unusual addition; Safe, unadventurous " (plain, basic, conventional ... having no interesting or unusual feature; safe, unadventurous) . In 1997, adds: "originally used regarding sexual activities, especially as conventional sex" (used orig with reference to sexual activity, esp in vanilla sex..) . Examples cited passages from the 1970s in particular, which use vanilla to distinguish them from BDSM supporters in the gay and lesbian scene. In the 2020 version there is an example sentence: "In my last relationship [...] there was always vanilla sex " (My most recent relationship ... was all vanilla sex) .

See also : Origin of the word "Plain Vanilla"

See also

• Risk-aware consensual kink (risk -aware and consensual; kink stands for fetish / BDSM)

Web links

Wiktionary: Vanilla sex  - explanations of meanings, word origins, synonyms, translations

• Anna Iovine: When It Comes to “Vanilla Sex,” No Two People Taste the Same Flavor. In: Vice.com . February 14, 2019 (English; "our societal understanding of what we mean when we say a sex act is" vanilla "isn't as obvious as we might think").
• Griffin Wynne: What Is Vanilla Sex? A Sexpert Breaks It Down. In: EliteDaily.com. February 6, 2019 (English; "Alicia Sinclair, certified sex educator and founder of COTR, ​​Inc unpacks the origin of the phrase itself").

• Data strike : The paper tiger - Encyclopedia of Sadomasochism (2003; archived):
  • Vanilla. ("Term for non-adomasochists, also as vanilla sex for sex without SM components.")
  • Appendix 1: Naming Conventions and Definition of Terms. ("The word vanilla is usedfor non-adomasochists.")

Individual evidence

1. ↑ RDK Herman: Playing with Restraints: Space, Citizenship and BDSM. In: Kath Browne, Jason Lim, Gavin Brown (Eds.): Geographies of Sexualities: Theory, Practices and Politics. Ashgate, Aldershot / Burlington 2007, ISBN 978-0-7546-4761-4 , pp. 89–100, here p. 91 (English; page preview in the Google book search); Quote: "But in any case, the term 'vanilla' is applied by BDSM players to conventional lovemaking without any S / M component (Moser and Madeson 2005, 24-5)." Original source: Charles Moser , JJ Madeson: Bound to be Free: The SM Experience. Continuum, New York 2005, pp. 24-25 (English; first published 1996).
2. ^ Marshall Cavendish: Sex and Society. Volume 3. Marshall Cavendish Corporation, New York 2010, ISBN 978-0-7614-7905-5 , p. 735 (English; page preview in Google Book Search); Quote: "Members of the community sometimes refer to individuals who do not share their sexual preferences as" vanilla. " The image is taken from ice cream: vanilla is widely regarded as the plainest possible flavor. "
3. ↑ Anna Iovine: When It Comes to “Vanilla Sex,” No Two People Taste the Same Flavor. In: Vice.com . February 14, 2019, accessed May 6, 2020; Quote: "53 percent of respondents who considered missionary sex" vanilla, "and part of the 24 percent of respondents who mentioned the acronym" BDSM "for what they considered kinky."
4. ↑ Lexicon entry: Missionary position ( Memento from April 2, 2016 in the Internet Archive ) In: Power-Friends.com: Lexicon of Love. 2012, accessed May 8, 2020; Quote: " Missionary position: Also known in German, Vanilla Sex or Bambi Sex - normal sexual intercourse in which the woman is on the bottom and the man is on top."
5. ↑ Antonia Hagedorn: Representative survey: Germans are in bed on it. In: FitforFun.de . February 3, 2020, accessed May 11, 2020.
6. ↑ Message: Because of men tough and women tender ... According to the survey: Men are more on flower sex than women. In: RTL.de . February 5, 2020, accessed May 11, 2020.
7. ↑ Cecilia Murrell-Harvey: Vanilla. In: Stephen Chrisomalis (Ed.): Lexiculture: Papers on English Words and Culture. Volume 1, 2014, Article No. 8 (English; Wayne State University; deals with the transferred meanings; PDF: 419 kB, 6 pages on glossographia.files.wordpress.com ).
8. ^ Oxford English Dictionary : vanilla. In: Lexico.com. Retrieved May 6, 2020 (English); Quote: “ vanilla (also plain vanilla) - adjective: Having no special or extra features; ordinary or standard. […] 'His sex life is totally vanilla' […] 'My most recent relationship just ended after five years and was all vanilla sex.' "