The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python)

This article is about the Monty Python comedy sketch. For the historical event, see Spanish Inquisition.

"The Spanish Inquisition" was a series of Monty Python sketches, parodying the Spanish Inquisition. The principal catchphrase in these sketches was "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Plot synopsis

File:Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python).jpg

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

This was a recurring sketch always predicated on an unrelated sketch in which one character, expressing irritation at being questioned by another, would announce "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!" At this point the Inquisition—consisting of Cardinals Ximénez (Michael Palin), Biggles (Terry Jones), and Fang (Terry Gilliam)—would burst into the room at the sound of a jarring chord. Ximénez would shout, with a particular and high-pitched emphasis on the first syllable, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

After entering, the Inquisition frequently got bogged down in recitations of their weapons ("Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms!"). Ximénez would state the number of weapons they had ("Our two/three/four weapons are..."), then list one more than he had counted, then start again using a higher number. After several attempts, Ximénez would state, "I'll come in again...", and herd The Inquisition back off the set. The straight man would then deliver the cue line again, the Inquisition would burst back in (complete with jarring chord), and the introduction tried again. This was repeated two or three times before Ximénez gave up and moved on.

Ximénez repeatedly ran into the problem of not being able to reliably torture anyone. When he called for "the rack," Cardinal Biggles produced a dish-drying rack. When poking the victim with soft cushions produced no confession, Ximénez would inquire whether his assistants had gotten all the stuffing together into one end of the cushions, for supposed maximum effectiveness. Failing that, forcing the victim to sit in the comfy chair was tried.

In Monty Python's Flying Circus, Series 2 Episode 2 (itself entitled "The Spanish Inquisition"), the Inquisition makes several "unexpected" appearances. At the very end of the show, in "Court Charades", they are caught by surprise when a defendant (who is also a judge from another court) in session at the Old Bailey says "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition". The whole court rises and looks expectantly at the witness entrance door (obviously expecting the Spanish Inquisition). As the closing credits roll the Inquisitors race to the Old Bailey by bus, to the tune of Devil's Gallop, only to arrive just as the words "THE END" appear. Ximénez has just enough time to say "Nobody expects the Spa...oh, bugger!" before the episode ends. "Bugger" was a strong word for a BBC comedy show at the time, and some BBC regions omitted it from the broadcast.

Sketches including the Spanish Inquisition

• Trouble at the mill/The Spanish Inquisition (Episode 15)
• Pictures of Uncle Ted (Episode 15)
• Court Charades (Episode 15)
• After-shave (Episode 18, Cardinal Ximénez only)

References in other works

• In Mystery Science Theater 3000, a running gag was that when a character in the film being watched burst through a door, Crow T. Robot would yell out "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

• When the British Abbey National Bank was taken over by the Spanish Banco Santander Central Hispano in a surprise move in 2004, The Now Show used the phrase, "Nobody expects the Spanish acquisition".

• In the film Sliding Doors, John Hannah and Gwyneth Paltrow made a connection with each other using the phrase. At frequent intervals in the film, John Hannah's character would tell another to remember what the Monty Python boys always say. They reply with "Always look on the bright side of life?", to which he replies "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition."

• In one of his 1999 shows on Channel 4, Rory Bremner once impersonated Robin Cook, regarding the desire by the government of Spain to extradite former Chilean Dictator Augusto Pinochet during his visit to the UK: "Pinochet did not expect a Spanish extradition - HAHA! Nobody expects the Spanish Extradition! Our chief weapon is surprise!... And spin! Yes, our two chief weapons are surprise, and spin!... And Amnesty International! Yes, our three chief weapons are..."

• In the PC RTS game Tropico 2: Pirate Cove, one option for past occupation is "Inquisitor". At the end of the description, it reads, "...your chief weapon is fear. And surprise. Your two chief weapons are fear and surprise. And you can build the interrogation chamber for half price...".

• The popular "Life of Python" sketch, featured in the BBC comedy program, Not The Nine O'Clock News, included a line in which the director of the film General Synod's Life of Christ, in response to a question of how he expected the public to react to his film, exclaims "Well, I certainly didn't expect (slight pause) the Spanish Inquisition".

• In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer: in "Him", after a remark by her schoolmate about the headmaster's "inquisition thing", Dawn says "Yeah. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition." Then in "Touched", Spike makes a throwaway comment about "that diabolical torture device, the comfy chair," when he prepares for a night of sleeping on it.

• In the Infocom text-based computer game Zork Zero, among the devices in the castle's torture chamber is a comfy chair.

• In a Batman comic book, a fictional crossover occurred with the Monty Python Inquisition. Robin barrages Batgirl with questions, causing her to reply with "Hey, slow down, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!" The next panel features the Spanish Inquisition arriving on horseback. This unlikely event was actually worked in as a part of the overall plot.

• In an episode of Judging Amy, Vincent Gray briefly (and mostly unexpectedly) comes back to Connecticut and back to the apartment he used to live in. His cousin Kyle McCarty opens the door, to which Vincent quotes "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" The two then proceed to play-wrestle with each other.

• In episode Operation S.P.I.N.A.C.H. from Codename: Kids Next Door, the villains are the Spinach Inquisitors, who try to force the main characters into eating spinach. The torturer utters the famous line ("Nobody ever expects the Spinach Inquisition!") before making the protagonists watch a musical number also parodying Mel Brooks' History of the World: Part I The reference is acknowledged with a rimshot.

• In the 2004 PC RTS Warlords Battlecry III, the Sirian Inquisitor will sometimes say "Nobody expects the Etherian Inquisition!" a parody of the catch phrase.

• In an episode of Farscape, John Crichton tells Crais to "Fetch the comfy chair." when Crais tells Crichton that he will end his torture in the Aurora Chair and free his shipmates. Crichton says this after realizing that Crais is lying about having captured Crichton's ship.

• In Dress to Kill, Eddie Izzard, recounting part of the plot of The Great Escape says, in parody of this sketch: "The British are working away, they're digging three tunnels - Charlie, Barley, and Farley. No, four tunnels - Charlie, Barley, Farley and Wally. No, five tunnels - Charlie, Farley, Wally -- No one expects the Spanish Tunnel King!"

• In the free internet radio show, MaxSpeed on the site WoW Radio, Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition is a regular segment were something or someone is inquisitioned, and the sound byte is played.

• In the Mac OS X operating system, the file /System/Library/Frameworks/Python.framework/Versions/2.3/lib/python2.3/test/audiotest.au is a recording of Ximénez' catchphrase.

• In Medieval: Total War, a pop-up box alerts the player whenever an inquisition is launched, the picture accompanying this warning strongly resembling the three characters in the sketch.

• The 14th issue of the webcomic Exterminatus Now parodies this sketch, with a cult member remarking that he 'didn't expect a Mobian Inquisition'. After nothing happens, he repeats himself as though waiting for someone to do something. At which point, Syrus pokes his head in through the door and says, 'Nah. We're not gonna do the Python Gag yet. Maybe next time.' As of the 27th of September 2007, they have yet to do the gag.