Wedding

For other uses, see Wedding (disambiguation).

A wedding is a ceremony that celebrates the beginning of a marriage or civil union. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. In some countries, cultures and religions, the actual act of marriage begins during the wedding ceremony. In others, the legal act of marriage occurs at the time of signing a marriage license or other legal document, and the wedding is then an opportunity to perform a traditional ceremony and celebrate with friends and family. A woman being married is called a bride, a man called a bridegroom, after the ceremony they become a wife and a husband, respectively.

Nuptial is the adjective of "wedding". It is used for example in zoology to denote plumage, coloration, behavior, etc related to or occurring in the mating season.

Overview

Wedding traditions and customs beyond any formal wedding ceremony vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes and often reflect a particular view of marriage.

Wedding ceremonies may contain any number of different elements, however most contain wedding vows of some kind and a proclamation of marriage, usually by the officiant. Most weddings also involve wearing the traditional clothes of the culture in which the couple is wedding. A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception.

Other elements may include music, poetry, prayer, scripture, or other traditions. In most societies a number of traditions or customs have emerged around the wedding ceremony, many of which have lost their original symbolic meaning in the modern world. Other wedding traditions are relatively recent. Some elements of the traditional Western wedding ceremony symbolize the bride's departure from her father's control and entry into a new family with her husband. In modern Western weddings, this symbolism is largely vestigial.

A wedding's particular customs may be varied, mixed, or invented to suit the personalities, interests, and cultural backgrounds of the couple. Such hybrid ceremonies are more common when performed by civil celebrants, as in Australia, the United States and Canada.

The key principle behind the newly achieved married status seems to be quite universal across the cultures of the world. The common element here is the assumption of husband and wife roles as well as the roles of the future parents. The wedding is a special moment that marks the beginning of a new generation, a new family and a life together. The fulfillment of these roles as a husband, wife or parent is fundamental to the continuity of a culture, of a society. Therefore, not only a society as a whole but, also individual family units have an investment in the institution of marriage. This investment is recognized and acknowledged with a variety of traditions, ceremonies and rituals including engagement and wedding ceremonies.

Marriage ceremonies across cultures, even though they can be very different, they share many common aspects. There are at least a few reasons why these similarities exist among so many different cultures of the world. First, marriage is an important emotional and social transition for the bride and groom. Second, marriage often marks a dramatic change in the social status for the newlyweds. In most cultures it signifies adulthood and potential parenthood.

With industrialization and the rapid expansion of technology the influence of western cultures has affected wedding ceremonies and rituals around the globe. However, remnants of traditional cultural customs are still an integral part of many weddings.

When it comes to planning a wedding people have to not only worry about food, music, flowers and what to wear but also about honoring culturally significant traditions, even if they do not fully understand their origin or meaning. Not following certain rituals might mean bad luck for the newlyweds and no one will take that risk. Every culture cherishes its own wedding traditions and superstitions. Some of those are closely followed even by those who are normally not superstitious.

The value of traditions and customs behind the wedding ritual

Acknowledging changes in traditions, customs, ceremonies and rituals and understanding their social significance is an ongoing process. Tratition is the virtual bridge between the past and the present. Today, just like in the past, bridal magazines make an attempt to once again reinvent the ritual of marriage. A need to keep up with the newest bridal fashion and wedding etiquette trends is successfully created. However, the need for balance has always been deeply rooted in society through rituals and traditions as they play an important role in maintaining social cohesion. Traditions and rituals are the most basic elements embedded in society, they determine who we are and where we belong.

According to Ursula Rao in "Rituals at the Foundation of Social Order", every community has a stake in tradition and rituals as the bridge the gap between the past and present and bring continuity for the future. The wedding ritual is undeniably a social phonomenon. It awakens collectivity, collaboration and by definition has a important social function. Traditions, which involve rituals, weddings are a great example here, are behaviors that are structured as communicative acts, handed down through generations and recognized within a community. Society needs rituals and traditions simply to be a society. We realize ourselves through rituals as they are the most basic elements of our existence as a community.

Nontraditional gowns: The new way to experience tradition of a wedding

The figure of a bride in white is perhaps the most important element of the ritual of marriage. In popular culture the bridal gown is a symbol of female aspirations, hopes and dreams, the same ones their mothers and grandmothers had in the past. However, the idea of a bridal gown today has changed following the wedding fashion trends. Brides today find themselves attracted to the glamorous, new and original designs and often choose trendy wedding gowns that do not look like traditional wedding dresses. Thankfully the symbolism and deeply rooted tradition behind the wedding dress has not changed. It is rather how the concept of the white dress is being manipulated that became a fascinating phenomenon. It is a paradox that more and more nontraditional wedding gowns are being advertised and sold to be used in a ritual that depends on tradition. It is very important to realize that as a part of the wedding ritual the gown's significance lies not only in its connection to the past and continuity of its use, but also in its general and traditional design. Both designers and marketers today are very conscious about how crucial it is to go back to the past and draw inspiration from traditions and rituals as constant influences in our lives. It seems that a recipe fo successful promotion of the newest bridal fashion trends calls for a combination of familiar traditional elements with the nontraditional and daring ideas.

Wedding types and kinds

Double wedding

A double wedding is a single ceremony where two affianced couples rendezvous for two separate weddings. Typically, a fiancé with a sibling might plan a double wedding with that sibling.

Destination wedding

A destination wedding is any wedding in which the engaged couple and/or a majority of their guests travel to attend the ceremony. Whether this happens for an intimate beach ceremony in the Caribbean, extravagant nuptials in Las Vegas or for a simple ceremony in someone's back yard, chances are it qualifies as a destination wedding.

Weekend wedding

A weekend wedding is a wedding in which couples and their guests celebrate over the course of a weekend. Special activities, such as spa treatments and golf tournaments, are scheduled into the wedding itinerary for guests' enjoyment throughout the weekend. Lodging usually is at the same facility as the wedding and couples often host a Sunday brunch for the weekend's finale.

White Wedding

Main article: white wedding

A white wedding is a term for a traditional formal or semi-formal Western wedding. This term refers to the white color of the wedding dress, which became popular in the Victorian era and came to symbolize purity of heart and the innocence of childhood. Later attribution suggested that the color white symbolized virginity.

Military wedding

A military wedding is a ceremony conducted in a military chapel and may involve a Saber Arch.

Civil wedding

A civil wedding is a ceremony presided over by a local civil authority, such as an elected or appointed judge, justice of the peace or the mayor of a locality. Civil wedding ceremonies may use references to God, but generally no references to a particular religion or denomination. They can be either elaborate or simple. Many civil wedding ceremonies take place in local town or city halls or courthouses in judge's chambers.

Same-gender wedding

A same-sex wedding or same-gender wedding is a ceremony in which two people of the same gender are married or, more commonly, civilly united. This may be an official and legally recognized event, or, in places that do not allow same-sex marriage, it may simply be a symbolic ceremony designed to provide the opportunity to make the same public declarations and celebration with friends and family that any other type of wedding may afford.

Church wedding

A church wedding is a ceremony presided over by a Christian priest. Ceremonies are based on reference to God, are frequently embodied into other church ceremonies like Holy Mass.

Jewish wedding

A Jewish wedding is a ceremony presided over by a rabbi. The rabbi recites the wedding blessing, reads out the ketubah, the rabbi, or those close to the couple, bless the couple by saying the seven blessings and the ceremony finishes when the groom breaks a glass underfoot.

Common elements in wedding customs across cultures

The first common element for both cultures is the originally western custom of a bride wearing a white dress. This tradition came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite the popular misconception that the white dress did not indicate virginity, which was symbolized by the face veil). Within the ‘white wedding’ tradition a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate for a second or third wedding of a widow or a divorcee.

Then there is the custom of exchanging rings. The ring is often perceived as the oldest and most universal symbol of marriage. There are many accounts of the meaning behind the use of wedding rings but the actual origins are unclear. The ring’s circular shape represents perfection and never-ending love. The ring gains even greater symbolism with the inclusion of a precious stone. The rings are exchanged during the wedding ceremony and symbolize the love, faithfulness and commitment of the marriage union.

The wedding is often followed by a reception during which the common rituals include toasting the bride and groom, the newlyweds' first dance as husband and wife, cake cutting etc.

Clothing

Different wedding traditions call for different wedding outfits:

• Qipao or Hanfu, Chinese traditional formal wear
• Batik and Kebaya, a special garment worn by the Javanese people of Indonesia.
• Barong Tagalog, an embroidered formal garment of the Philippines
• Kimono, the traditional garments of Japan
• Sari, Indian popular and traditional dress in India
• Ao dai, traditional garments of Vietnam
• Morning dress, a particular category of men's formal dress
• Kilt, male garment particular to Scottish culture
• Topor, a type of conical headgear
• Tuxedo
  • Black tie, indicating dinner jacket in the UK
  • White tie, indicating evening dress in the UK
• Sherwani, a long coat-like garment worn in South Asia
• Wedding veil
• Wedding dress

Music

Western weddings

Music often played at western weddings includes a processional song for walking down the aisle (ex: Wedding March) and reception dance music.

Music often played at Western weddings includes:

• The "Bridal Chorus" from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, often used as the processional and commonly known as "Here Comes the Bride" - Note: Richard Wagner is said to have been Anti-Semitic, and as a result, the Bridal Chorus is often not used at Jewish weddings.
• Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D is often used as an alternative processional.
• The "Wedding March" from Felix Mendelssohn's incidental music for the Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, often used as a recessional.
• The "Toccata" from Charles-Marie Widor's Symphony for Organ No. 5, also used as a recessional.
• Segments of the Ode To Joy, the fourth movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, sometimes make appearances at weddings; its message of unity is suitable for the occasion.
• At wedding receptions, Der Ententanz, a 1950s Swiss Oom-pah song known more commonly in America as The Chicken Dance, has become a popular part of the reception dance music.

African weddings

Traditional music throughout Africa is almost always functional; in other words, it is performed to mark a ritual such as a wedding. A traditional African wedding ritual serves to combine the families of the bride and groom. Because Africa is a continent with a wide range of ethnic, cultural and linguistic diversity, the music of Africa varies widely.

Chinese weddings

Chinese music plays an important role to create an environment of jolly and noisy atmosphere in the wedding ceremony. A band of musicians with gongs and flute-like instruments accompanies the bride parade to groom's home. Similar music is also played in wedding banquet.

Asian customs

Customs vary throughout the Asian continent.

Arabic customs

Arabic weddings vary depending on the country and religion of the bride and groom. Although Christian weddings in the Arab World bear clear similarities to Western weddings, the Muslim weddings in the Arab countries are influenced by Muslim traditions. Muslim weddings (pre-arranged or not) start with a Shaikh and Al-Kitab (book) for the bride and groom. The groom, may or may not see his bride until the wedding day. Men and women in wedding ceremonies and receptions are segregated affairs, with areas for both men and women. An old tradition that is rarely done now is when the women at the ceremony symbolically mourn the loss of the bride by doing the "wedding wail". The bride's dress is an ornate Caftan, and the bride's hands and feet are decorated in intricate lace-like patterns painted using a henna dye. Customarily women guests do not show their hair, shoulders or legs; and all guests at a Mosque remove their shoes on entering. Guests may give gifts to the bride and groom. However, these are all the old traditions; Arabs, nowadays, have Western-like weddings, but still preserve most Arab customs and traditions.

Bengali customs

Main article: Bengali wedding

Bengali wedding refers to both Muslim wedding and Hindu wedding in Bangladesh and West Bengal. Although Muslim and Hindu marriages have their distinctive religious rituals, there are many common cultural rituals in marriages across religion among Bengali people.

Chinese customs

Main article: Chinese marriage

See also: Chinese tea culture and Red packet

Weddings in modern China combine both traditional elements and elements influenced by Western culture. The actual civil ceremony consists of registering the marriage with the local registrar is brief and done without much ceremony. The wedding reception, however, is elaborate and complex. The one prominent element of modern Chinese`xxxx weddings is the Chinese wedding album.

Traditional customs include the so-called "three letters and six etiquette". The "three letters" involve a series of three written letters ("request letter", "gift letter" and "wedding letter") being hand-delivered in sequence by the groom's family to that of the bride through an elderly female envoy/liaison from the groom's family. The "six etiquette" consists of six steps that are carried out prior to and during the wedding day. In the first step, the groom's family's envoy communicates the offer of marriage to the bride's family and attempts to persuade the bride's family to accept. If the offer is accepted by the bride's family, the two families negotiate the terms of the marriage. In the second step, the groom's family, via its envoy, requests the bride's family to disclose the eight Chinese characters that mark the date and hour of the bride's birth. A fortune teller is then hired to analyze the date and hour of the bride's birth with the date and hour of the groom's birth to see if the bride's date and hour of birth are compatible with those of the groom. The third step consists of the groom's family sending some initial gifts to the bride's family. The fourth step is where the groom's family will pick a "good day" to send their formal gifts to the bride's family and to send gifts, cash, cakes and food for use in ancestral worship. The fifth step is the selection, by the hired fortune teller, of a "good day" for the actual wedding date.

The sixth and final step is the wedding day ceremony itself. The interior of both families' homes are decorated in red, while the bride and groom are dressed in red with the bride's face being veiled in a red cloth. A procession of servants and musicians from the groom's family picks up the bride from her family's home and delivers her, in a carriage, to the groom's family's home. The bride's gifts to the groom would be delivered to the groom at this time only if the bride is a "long distance" bride who does not live in the same area as the groom. Otherwise, her gifts should have been sent a few days prior. With relatives and friends witnessing, the bride and groom then proceed to worship the heavens, the earth, and the groom's dead ancestors in a series of bows before the couple serve tea to the elders of their families. After being served tea by the bride and groom, the family elders will give them red envelopes (lai see) containing money and offer their blessings. This so-called "tea ceremony" is the ritual climax of the wedding day. The aforesaid "wedding letter" is presented during the wedding day and confirms that the bride will become part of the groom's family's household. If financially possible, the groom's family will then throw a huge feast for all relatives and friends with the groom's family's said liaison making repeated toasts to the newly wedded persons. When the married couple are finally alone in the bridal room where the wedding bed is located, the groom may lift the red veil that had hidden his bride's face.

Three days after the wedding, the bride returns to her family's home bringing a roasted pig and gifts. She may or may not, depending on which region in China, be required to be accompanied by her new husband, and she may or may not stay in her old home for a few days. The bride's family, as a courtesy, would return some of the gifts that they had received from the groom's family.

Although Chinese wedding customs vary from province to province, and from region to region, there are some basic and common themes in the traditional Chinese wedding.

Both the bride and groom are usually dressed in red, as red is the color of celebration and good fortune. The bride, with a red veil or large embroidered handkerchief over her head (much like the Western custom of a white wedding veil), is led by the groom to where the parents are seated.

Once there, the couple then kneels and kow-tows to their parents, and to their ancestors - taking note to bow and kow-tow to all four directions (north, south, east and west). They will also pour tea and serve it to their parents, which then the parents accept and gives the couple a red envelope (or hong-bao) filled with cash. Usually, the mothers will take this opportunity to also give the bride many pieces of gold jewelry or heirlooms.

After this ceremony, it is considered that the couple is married, and the family and guests spend the evening feasting and drinking all night long. During this meal, the bride will change her outfit several times; generally a new outfit for each course. This shows her new family, and her guests her wealth and status. Often, many games will be played during this banquet. Guests give the bride and groom gifts of cash, stuffed in red packets or envelopes.

In more recent years, a new custom has emerged where the wedding guests will escort or sneak into the new couple's room, to play games and pranks. As Chinese custom requires that hosts (in this case, the newlyweds) can not be rude to their guests, and can not ask them to leave - this celebration can last for several hours. Another more modern tradition occurs before the tea ceremony. The bride is hidden in a room and her attendants (called "sisters," even if the women are not biologically the bride's siblings) try to prevent the groom and his attendants ("brothers") from coming in to pick up the bride. They try to get the groom to bid for the bride, asking for money in 8s or 9s. They also ask the men (especially the groom) trivia questions, such as "where did you meet the bride?" Sometimes, the women would ask the groom and his attendants to write a poem about the bride or do silly tricks. At the end, the women are given money by the men.

Cantonese customs

Main article: Cantonese wedding

Most Cantonese wedding rituals follow the main Chinese wedding traditions. Although some rituals are unique to the cantonese people.

Indian customs

Main article: Indian wedding

Indian weddings are very bright events, filled with ritual and celebration, that continue for several days. They are not small affairs, often with 400-1000 people attending (many of whom are unknown to the bride and groom). Modern marriages in India are moving from arranged marriages to love marriages, but the traditional wedding has not been abandoned.

Rajput customs

Main article: Rajput wedding

Rajputs - one of the major Hindu Kshatriya groups from India - traditionally had their own typical rituals of marriage as it is one of the most important functions of life. It is relation which is created for seven generations between the two families of the Bride & the Groom. It comprises a ceremony each for the TILAK (engagement), the BAN (starting of the wedding ceremony, MEL the community feast, the Nikasi is the departure of the Bridegroom party for the wedding, Sehla & Dhukav reception of wedding party at the Brides place be her parents. Solemnisation of wedding Sat Fere.

Japanese customs

Traditional Japanese wedding customs (shinzen shiki) have given way to the "Western Style Wedding" in recent years. The Japanese have long tried to emulate and improve upon Western tradition. To that end, a Japanese western style wedding is held in a chapel, either in a simple or elaborate ceremony, often at a chapel within a hotel. Typically, much like in Western culture, the bride, or shinpu, and groom, or shinro, get their own changing rooms within the chapel, as does the bride's father and any other important guest who requires such a room. There is also a room to hold the reception afterwards.

Before the ceremony, there is a rehearsal. Often during this rehearsal, the bride's mother lowers the veil for her daughter, signifying the last act that a mother can do for her daughter, before giving her away. The father of the bride, much like in Western culture, walks the bride down the aisle to her awaiting groom.

After the rehearsal comes the procession. The wedding celebrant will often wear a wedding cross, or cana, a cross with two interlocking wedding rings attached, which symbolize a couple's commitment to sharing a life together in the bonds of holy matrimony. The wedding celebrant gives a brief welcome and an introductory speech before announcing the bride's entrance.The procession ends with the groom bowing to the bride's father. The father bows in return.

The service, or kekkon shiki, then starts. The service is given either in Japanese or English, or, in some cases, a mix of both. It follows a traditional Protestant ceremony, relaxed and not overtly religious. The opening hymn is usually the Japanese version of What a Friend We Have in Jesus. Part of 1 Corinthians 13 is read from the Bible. After the reading, there is a prayer and a short message, explaining the sanctity of the wedding vows, or seiyaku. The bride and groom share their vows and exchange rings. The chapel register is signed and the new couple is announced. This is often followed by the traditional wedding kiss. The service concludes with another hymn and a benediction.

Malay customs

Main article: Malay wedding

A Malay wedding ceremony spreads over two days, beginning with the akad nikah ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin(dowry). After that, their hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed or her eyebrows shaped by a beautician known as the mak andam.

Pakistani customs

Main article: Pakistani wedding

A Pakistani wedding typically consist of four ceremonies on four separate days.

Russian customs

Main article: Russian wedding

A traditional Russian wedding lasts for at least two days and some weddings last as long as a week. Throughout the celebration there is dancing, singing, long toasts, and a lot of food and drinks. The best man and maid of honor are called witnesses, “svideteli” in Russian. The ceremony and the ring exchange takes place on the first day of the wedding and on this special day many events take place. Throughout the years, Russian weddings have adopted many western cultures, including bridesmaids and flower girls.

European customs

Customs vary throughout the European continent.

The Western custom of a bride wearing a white wedding dress, came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite popular misconception and the hackneyed jokes of situation comedies the white dress did not actually indicate virginity, which was symbolized by a face veil). Within the "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate in the second or third wedding of a widow or divorcee. The specific conventions of Western weddings, largely from a Protestant and Catholic viewpoint, are discussed at "White wedding."

A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception, at which an elaborate wedding cake is served. Western traditions include toasting the happy couple, the newlyweds having the First dance, and cutting the cake. A bride may throw her bouquet to the assembled group of all unmarried women in attendance, with folklore suggesting the person who catches it will be the next to wed. A fairly recent equivalent has the groom throwing the bride's garter to the assembled unmarried men; the man who catches it is supposedly the next to wed.

A long-standing modern tradition is for brides to wear or carry "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" during the service. It is considered good luck to do so. Often the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handkerchief which is "new to her" but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old.)

French customs

Many times in smaller French towns, the groom will meet his fiancée at her home on the day of the wedding and escort her to the chapel where the ceremony is being held. As the couple proceeds to the chapel, children will stretch long white ribbons across the road which the bride will cut as she passes.

At the chapel, the bride and groom are seated on two red velvet chairs underneath a silk canopy they called a carre. Laurel leaves may be scattered across their paths when they exit the chapel. Sometimes small coins are also tossed for the children to gather.

At the reception, the couple customarily uses a toasting cup, called a Coupe de Marriage. The origin of giving toast actually began in France, when they literally dropped a small piece of toast into the couple's wine (to ensure a healthy life). They lifted their glass to "a toast", as is common in Western culture today.

Some couples choose to serve a croquembouche instead of a wedding cake. The dessert is a pyramid of crème-filled pastry puffs, drizzled with a caramel glaze.

At a more boisterous wedding, tradition involves continuing the celebration until very late at night. After the reception, those invited to the wedding will gather outside the newlyweds' window and bang pots and pans. They are then invited into the house for some more drinks in the couple's honor, after which the couple is finally allowed to be alone for their first night together as husband and wife.

Another practice that is becoming more common at wedding celebrations is "beheading" a bottle of champagne with a sabre made for the occasion. It was started as a way for the Hussards (under Napoleon's command) to celebrate victories and exhibit their horseback skills: they would "behead" the top off a bottle of champagne while on horseback. Legend has it that the skilled horsemen would ride at a full gallop while brave women held up bottles of champagne. The sabre must strike the neck of the bottle at exactly the right angle (champagne bottles have over 100 pounds of pressure per square inch).

This practice spread throughout France as a way to celebrate special occasions. Now decorative replicas of these special sabres can be purchased from artisans in Lyon, France (the French capital of cutlery).

Italian customs

At the start of a typical Italian wedding reception, the bridal party and the rest of the guests are separated for an hour and served cocktails. The food during cocktail hour is served in a buffet setup. During the cocktail time, the bride and the groom usually take their time to shoot photographs in a proper setting.

At the conclusion of cocktail hour, the guests will gather in the main dining room. The newlywed couple is introduced with much fanfare and they take their first dance, with the bridal party following soon after, who are then ultimately joined by the rest of the guests. Afterwards, everyone is seated, speeches are made by friends and family, and everyone champagne toasts the wedded couple.

Food is plentiful during most weddings, and Italian custom is no exception. Between courses, the MC will encourage dancing.

After the bulk of the courses have passed, it is time for the cake cutting, which ushers in the dessert course. In Sicilian customs, the dessert course is often presented as a VenetianTable, a dazzling array of pastries, fruits, coffees, cakes, (etc) are presented in great quantity with much celebration. This is often called Venetian Hour.

After dessert, more dancing commences, gifts are given, and the guests eventually begin to leave. In Southern Italy, as the guests leave, they hand envelopes of money to the bride and groom, who return the gift with a wedding favor, a small token of appreciation. In North Central and Western Italy instead, the wedding favor is still given, but no tradition of envelopes with money exists.

Polish customs

Polish weddings are known to be very festive and rather traditional events. It is not out of the ordinary if the wedding celebration goes on for two or even three days. The engagement is also an important custom. In the past, the engagement ceremony was organized by the future groom as a formal family gathering, during which he asked his chosen lady to marry him. In the recent years this official custom has changed and today an engagement is much more personal and intimate. An elegant dinner party afterwards is still a nice way to inform the closest family members about the couples' decision to get married.

The next step is to set the wedding date and start the planning and organizing. In some regions of Poland the tradition to invite the wedding guests in person is still upheld. Many young couples still devote their time, and accompanied by the parents visit their family and friends to hand them the wedding invitations personally.

The wedding day is full of activity, emotions and the last minute preparations. According to the old tradition a groom arrives with his parents at the house of a bride just before the wedding ceremony. At that time both parents and parents-in-law give a young couple their blessing. Then off to church. Another interesting fact is that the couple enters the church together and walks up to the altar followed by two witnesses and the parents. In Poland it is quite unusual for the bride to be walked down the isle or to have bridesmaids and groomsmen in a wedding. The couple is assisted by two witnesses, a man (usually grooms' side) and a woman (usually brides' side) who are either family members or close friends.

The Polish bride traditionally wears a white dress and a veil. The groom, on the other hand usually wears an elegant fitted suit with a bow tie and a boutonnière that matches the brides' bouquet. Most of the young couples prefer to keep their attire elegant and classy, simple and traditional. During the ceremony wedding rings are exchanged and both the husband and wife wear them on their right hand. When they leave the church the guests toss rice or coins at the married couple for good and prosperous future together. Right after the ceremony the closest family and all the guest form a line in the front of the church to congratulate the happy newlyweds and wish them love and happiness. Flowers are almost a must. However, as soon as the married couple leave the church they get showered with rice for luck or guests drop coins at their feet for them to pick up as 'their first money collected together'.

Once all the guests had showered the couple with kisses,hugs and beautiful flowers everyone heads to the reception. It is a very popular custom in Poland to prepare "passing gates" on the way to the reception for the newlyweds, who in order to pass have to give the "gate keepers" some vodka.

The married couple is traditionally welcomed at the reception place by the parents with bread and salt. The bread symbolizes the prosperity, salt stands for hardship of life, the parents wish the young couple that they never go hungry and learn how to deal with every day hardships together. The wedding party lasts until the last guest leaves, usually until morning. The Polish weddings are known for an unbelievable abundance of great food and alcohol.

Romanian customs

Main article: Lăutari

Lăutari are traditional musicians performing traditional Gypsy songs. The music of the lăutari establishes the structure of the elaborate Romanian peasant weddings, as well as providing entertainment (not only music, but magic tricks, stories, bear training, etc.) during the less eventful parts of the ritual. The lăutari also function as guides through the wedding rituals and moderate any conflicts that may arise during what can be a long, alcohol-fueled party. Over a period of nearly 48 hours, this can be very physically strenuous.

Following custom almost certainly dating back at least to the Middle Ages, most lăutari rapidly spend the fees from these wedding ceremonies on extended banquets for their friends and families over the days immediately following the wedding.

Scottish customs

Scotland has historically been a popular place for young English couples to get married, due to the fact that in Scotland, parents' permission is not required if both the bride and groom are old enough to legally be married (16). In England it was historically the case that if either was 16 or 17 then the permission of parents had to be sought. Thus Scotland, and especially the blacksmith's at Gretna Green, became a very popular place for couples to elope to, especially those under 18 and usually living in England. Gretna Green now hosts hundreds of weddings a year and is Scotland's third most popular tourist attraction.

A Church of Scotland wedding and reception generally follows a fairly established set of customs and practices although most couples chose to adapt these to their own personal circumstances and preferences.

Typical customs:

• The bride's family sends invitations on behalf of the couple to the wedding guests, addressed by hand. The couple may send the invitations themselves, especially if they are more middle-aged. The invites will specify if the invitation is for ceremony and/or reception and/or evening following the meal at the reception.
• Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day. Alternatively, the couple may register at department store and have a list of gifts there. The shop then organizes delivery, usually to the bride's parents' house or to the reception venue.
• A wedding ceremony takes place at a church, register office or possibly another favorite location, such as a hilltop. In this regard Scotland differs significantly from England where only pre-approved public locations may be used for the wedding ceremony. Most ceremonies take place mid afternoon and last about half an hour during which the marriage schedule is signed by the couple and two witnesses, usually the best man and chief bridesmaid.
• The newly wed couple usually leave the ceremony to the sound of bagpipes.
• There is a wedding reception following the ceremony, usually at a different venue.
• The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
• Usually a drink is served while the guests and bridal party mingle. In some cases the drink may be whiskey or wine with a non alcoholic alternative.
• The best man and bride's father toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes, usually humorous. The groom then follows with a response on behalf of his bride. Champagne is usually provided for the toast.
• There is nearly always dancing following the meal. Often in Scotland this takes the form of a ceilidh, a night of informal traditional Scottish dancing in couples and groups to live traditional music. The first dance is led by the bride and groom, followed by the rest of the bridal party and finally the guests.
• The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake.
• Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
• A sprig of white heather is usually worn as a buttonhole for good luck.
• It is the norm for the groom and much of the male bridal party and guests to wear kilts, although suits are also worn. Kilts and Highland dress are often hired for this purpose.

Handfasting

Main article: Handfasting

Handfasting is an ancient Celtic wedding ritual in which the bride's and groom's hands are tied together — hence the phrase "tying the knot". "Handfasting" is favored by practitioners of Celtic-based religions and spiritual traditions, such as Wicca and Druidism.

North American customs

Customs vary throughout the North American continent.

United States customs

A Christian or other mainstream wedding and reception in the United States follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. Customs and traditions vary with part of the country, ethnic group, social group, and so on, but components include the following:

• The bride traditionally wears “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.” (See also Ceremonial clothing in Western cultures.)
• The bride usually wears a white dress.
• A color scheme is often used so that the invitation matches the bridesmaids' dresses and the table settings.
• Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony.[1]
• The bride's family sends engraved invitations to the wedding guests, addressed by hand to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion.
• Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day.
• A wedding ceremony takes place at a church or other favorite location, such as an attractive outdoor venue.

At the wedding reception following the ceremony, sometimes at the same location but sometimes at a different venue:

• The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
• Usually snacks or a meal are served while the guests and bridal party mingle.
• Often the best man and/or maid of honor toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne, sparkling cider, or nonalcoholic carbonated drinks are usually provided for this purpose.
• Clinking silverware against glassware obliges the newlyweds to kiss.
• If dancing is provided, the bride and groom first dance together. Often further protocol is followed, where they dance first with their respective mother and father, then possibly with the maid of honor and best man; then the bride and groom rejoin while the parents of the bride and groom join the dance and the best man and maid of honor dance together; then other attendants join in; then finally everyone is entitled to dance. Dancing continues throughout the reception. Music is sometimes provided by a live band or musical ensemble, sometimes by a disc jockey with stereo equipment.
• In some cultures, the money dance takes place, in which it is expected and encouraged for guests to pin money onto the young bride and groom to help them get started in their new lives in a new household.
• The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter--often a special silver keepsake cutter purchased or given as a gift for the occasion--and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake. They then entwine arms and feed each other a bite of cake.
• In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other's faces at this time.
• The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose.
• Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.

The Bouquet Toss History

The first bouquet toss occurred years ago when two customs presided. The first custom being large families, where children were plentiful and enjoyed. The second custom was to have the eldest daughter wed first, and so on down the line of possibly many daughters. While these customs were embraced by all, there were often of frustration for young suitors of the day. Often when the daughters began to reach the age of marriage it was difficult to tell who was eldest and thus most beneficial to court.

To remedy the problem for these young suitors the eldest daughter upon reaching marrying age would begin to carry a bouquet of flowers with her to social functions like town fairs, local dances, and to church. This proved a great help to the perplexed young men. The young lady would continue to carry this bouquet until the day she accepted a proposal for marriage. On that day the rest of the family, giddy with excitement, began to build the most beautiful bouquet they could muster. They searched for and sometimes even grew the most vibrant and fragrant flowers to be found. This bouquet often became a centerpiece of the wedding décor, second only in beauty to the bride herself. As the bride carried her exquisite homemade bouquet down the aisle it no longer symbolized availability or desire for marriage, one could say that it no longer symbolized anything, but embodied joy. The great joy that can be seen in the eyes of a young bride as she gazes deeply into the eyes of her new husband.

Toward the end of the ceremony the tradition became to pass that bouquet down the next daughter. While it did now symbolize this next daughter’s availability for marriage, this bouquet did much more. This passing of the bouquet passed on a hope that the next daughter would find such joy as the previous. That one day she would carry her own homemade bouquet down the aisle to look deeply into the eyes of her soon to be husband.

Down through the years large families have become unfamiliar and allowing a younger daughter to marry first is of no consequence, but joy lives on. And the hope of joy passed on from the bride continues in what we now know as the bouquet toss.

Wedding gifts

Originally, the purpose of inviting guests was to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in the bride and groom's joy and celebration. Gifts for the bride and groom are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token gift of their best wishes. Some brides and grooms and families feel that, for the expense and effort they put into showing their guests a good time and to wine and dine them, the guests should reciprocate by providing nice gifts. No etiquette book or rule condones this belief.

The couple often registers for gifts at a favorite store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of preferred or needed household items, usually including a favorite pattern for china, for silverware, and for crystalware; often including linen preferences, pots and pans, and similar items. With older brides and grooms who might already be independent and have lived on their own, even owning their own homes, they sometimes register at hardware or home improvement stores. This is intended to make it easy for guests who wish to purchase gifts to feel comfortable that they are purchasing gifts that the newlyweds will truly appreciate. Taking this a step further, some couples register with services that enable money gifts intended to fund items such as a honeymoon, home purchase or college fund.

Etiquette rules generally prohibit the bride and groom from soliciting gifts. In some social circles this is considered to preclude them listing their place of registry, for example, in their wedding invitations. Guests are expected to ask for this information if they want it. But practice varies and in other social circles couples do include the information in their invitations.

Many older guests often find bridal registries inappropriate. They can be seen as an anathema to traditional notions behind gift buying, such as contravening the belief that "one should be happy for what they receive", taking away the element of surprise, and leading to present buying as a type of competition, as the couple knows the costs of each individual item.

African-American customs

Main article: Jumping the broom

Jumping the broom developed out West African Asante custom. The broom in Asante and other Akan cultures also held spiritual value and symbolized sweeping away past wrongs or warding off evil spirits. Brooms were waved over the heads of marrying couples to ward off spirits. The couple would often but not always jump over the broom at the end of the ceremony.

The custom took on additional significance in the context of slavery in the United States. Slaves had no right to legal marriage; slaveholders considered slaves property and feared that legal marriage and family bonds had the potential to lead to organization and revolt. Marriage rituals, however, were important events to the Africans, who came in many cases come from richly-ceremonial African cultures.

Taking marriage vows in the presence of a witness and then leaping over the handle of a broom became the common practice to create a recognized union. Brooms are also symbols of the hearth, the center of the new family being created. Jumping the broom has become a practice in many modern weddings between Black Americans.

There are also traditions of broom jumping in Europe, in the Wicca and Celtic communities especially. They are probably unconnected with the African practice.

African customs

Customs vary throughout the African continent.

Major religious beliefs

Africa is comprised of many religious and non-religious groups. The major religious cultures are Muslim, Christians (Roman Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, Anglican and others), ethnic religionist, non-Christian, Hindu and Baha'i.

Ankole wedding traditions

Ankole was a most important lake kingdom in prestige and population. The king owned all the cattle and theoretically owned all its women. Hima fathers were anxious to call attention to their daughters because the king gave generous wedding gifts. Should she marry her husband would be a future king and that meant her family would share the glory. Slim girls were unfit for royalty so those girls whom the king found to be of interest to marry one of his sons were force fed with milk until very heavy, barely able to walk.

Pygmie wedding traditions

Pygmie engagements were not long and usually formalized by an exchange of visits between the families concerned. The groom to be would bring a gift of game or maybe a few arrows to his new in-laws, take his bride home to live in his band and with his new parents. His only obligation is to find among his relatives a girl willing to marry a brother or male cousin of his wife. If he feels he can feed more than one wife, he may have additional wives.

Religious aspects of marriage

In virtually all religions, marriage is a long-term union between two people and is established with ceremonies and rituals. The two people are most commonly a man and a woman, though many societies have permitted polygamous marriages, and same-sex marriage is now acknowledged in some places.

Many religions have extensive teachings regarding marriage. Most Christian churches give some form of blessing to a marriage; the wedding ceremony typically includes some sort of pledge by the community to support the couple's relationship. In the Roman Catholic Church "Holy Matrimony" is considered to be one of the seven sacraments, in this case one that the spouses bestow upon each other in front of a priest and members of the community as witnesses. An argument for the institution of the sacrament of Matrimony by Christ Jesus himself, and its occasion, is advanced by Bernard Orchard in his article The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph. [2] [3] [4] In the Eastern Orthodox church, it is one of the Mysteries, and is seen as an ordination and a martyrdom. In marriage, Christians see a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Church. In Judaism, marriage is so important that remaining unmarried is deemed unnatural. Islam also recommends marriage highly; among other things, it helps in the pursuit of spiritual perfection. The Bahá'í Faith sees marriage as a foundation of the structure of society, and considers it both a physical and spiritual bond that endures into the afterlife. Hinduism sees marriage as a sacred duty that entails both religious and social obligations. By contrast, Buddhism does not encourage or discourage marriage, although it does teach how one might live a happily married life and emphasizes that married vows are not to be taken slightly (see separate article for details).

Different religions have different beliefs as regards the breakup of marriage. For example, the Roman Catholic Church believes it is morally wrong to divorce, and divorcées cannot remarry in a church marriage, though they can do in the eyes of the law. In the area of nullity, religions and the state often apply different rules, meaning that a couple, for example, could have their marriage annulled by the Catholic Church but still be married in the eyes of the law because the state disagrees with the church over whether an annulment can be granted in a given case. This produces the phenomenon of Catholics getting church annulments simultaneously with civil divorces, so that they may remarry both legally and sacramentally. The Catholic Church will not, in fact, grant an annulment petition unless the marriage has also been dissolved or annulled under civil law.

Detailed viewpoints of various religions

• Ayyavazhi marriage
• Bahá'í marriage
• Buddhist view of marriage
• Christian view of marriage
• Latter-day Saint view of marriage
• Hindu view of marriage
• Islamic view of marriage
• Jewish view of marriage
• handfasting

Religious customs

Hindu customs

Main article: Hindu wedding

North Indian wedding ceremonies are traditionally conducted at least partially in Sanskrit, the language in which most holy Hindu ceremonies are conducted. The local language of the people involved is also used since most Hindus cannot understand Sanskrit. They have many rituals that have evolved since traditional times and differ in many ways from the modern western wedding ceremony and also among the different regions, families, and castes such as Rajput Wedding, Aggarwal Weddings, Iyer Weddings. The Hindus attach a lot of importance to weddings and the ceremonies are very colourful and extend for several days.

Jewish customs

Main article: Jewish view of marriage

The prominence and exact expression of traditions used in a Jewish wedding varies based on the denomination of Judaism of the people being married. Some of the most common are listed below.

The bride (kallah) and groom (chatan) sign a Ketubah (marriage contract). Originally, the Ketubah detailed the husband's obligations to his wife, and provided for monetary payment to her in case of divorce. Nowadays, while literally it serves the same function, the Ketubah also can be a decorative keepsake that sets out expectations for both the bride and groom. In Conservative homes it is typically framed and displayed, while in Orthodox homes it is kept hidden away.

The Jewish ceremony generally starts with the bride and groom being escorted to the huppah (Jewish wedding canopy) by both sets of parents. The ceremony takes place under the huppah, and is presided over by a Rabbi. After the vows, seven marriage blessings are read and the groom then smashes a glass with his foot. The bride and groom spend time together alone before the reception, which is traditionally a joyous celebration with much music and dancing.

There are several traditional activities that often take place during the reception:

• The wedding breakfast.
• A dance in which the bride and groom hold opposite corners of a handkerchief while they are lifted up on chairs by the guests and whirled around.
• The Krenzl, in which the bride's mother is crowned with a wreath of flowers as her daughters dance around her (traditionally at the wedding of the mother's last unwed daughter).
• The Mizinke, a dance for the parents of the bride or groom when their last child is wed.
• The gladdening of the bride, in which guests dance around the bride, and can include the use of "shtick" -- silly items such as signs, banners, costumes, confetti, and jumpropes made of table napkins.
• The singing of Aishet Chayil to the bride by the groom accompanied by his friends.

Quaker customs

Main article: Quaker wedding

A traditional Quaker wedding ceremony in a Friends meeting is similar to any other Meeting for Worship, and therefore often very different from the experience expected by non-Friends.

LDS customs

Main article: Celestial marriage

Within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormons), the act of marriage is regarded as an eternal affair. As such, there are two kinds of marriages recognized by the Church, civil marriage and celestial marriage. Civil marriages are those legally contracted under local law and are dissolved upon the death of the participants, while celestial marriages, also known as sealings, bind the participants as husband and wife for all eternity if both are righteous.

Celestial marriages can only be performed by Priesthood authority within a Sealing Room in a dedicated temple. Only members of the LDS church who have a temple recommend may attend an LDS wedding. The wedding is often referred to as a sealing, in which husband and wife are sealed beyond death into the next life. Space is limited in sealing rooms so only family and close friends attend.

The sealing can be performed at the same approximate time as the civil marriage or for a couple civilly married for at least one year. In the latter case, if the couple already has children, they may also accompany the ceremony to be sealed to their parents. Children who are born to parents who have already been sealed need no such ceremony, as they have been "born in the covenant."

Many LDS couples will then hold wedding receptions or open houses after the wedding ceremony in another venue that is open to all family and friends. Some couples choose to recreate a more traditional wedding ceremony, or will simply perform certain traditional acts, such as the throwing of the bouquet, first dance, etc.

Gallery

Weddings, wedding traditions/ceremonies, and wedding photos from around the world.

• 
  Preparing for the photographs, at a wedding in Thornbury Castle, England.
• 
  Sundanese wedding tradition in Indonesia.
• 
  Nubian wedding with some international modern touches, near Aswan, Egypt.
• 
  A traditional Japanese wedding ceremony.
• Wedding ceremony at the Victory Monument in Minsk.
  Wedding ceremony at the Victory Monument in Minsk.
• Wedding in Poland, 1936.
  Wedding in Poland, 1936.
• Bride and groom wearing traditional Bengali wedding costumes, from Bangladesh.
  Bride and groom wearing traditional Bengali wedding costumes, from Bangladesh.
• 
  Ethnic Hakka people in a wedding in East Timor, 2006.
• 
  Japanese bride and groom, wearing white and black kimonos respectively. The Japanese bride-to-be is painted pure white from head to toe, visibly declaring her maiden status to the gods; a white hood is attached to her kimono, which the bride wears like a veil to hide her 'horns of jealousy' from the groom's mother, who will now become the head of the family.
• 
  An elaborate white wedding cake.
• Two decorated mustangs.
  Two decorated mustangs.
• A wedding cake with rings and invitation placed in foreground.
  A wedding cake with rings and invitation placed in foreground.
• 
  Phil and Marlene.
• Two grooms at their same-sex wedding in Wellington, New Zealand.
  Two grooms at their same-sex wedding in Wellington, New Zealand.
• 
  A wedding carriage in Bristol, England.
• 
  A new bride tossing her flower bouquet over her shoulder.

See also

Wedding traditions

• Wedding band (or ring)
• Wedding invitation
• Participants in wedding ceremonies
• Shotgun wedding

Ceremony aspects

• Wedding cake
• Wedding videography
• Wedding photography
• Personal wedding websites

Related travel

• Honeymoon
• Wedding trip (traveling to meet a bride or groom in an arranged marriage)
• Las Vegas weddings

Religious aspects

• Chastity
• Celibacy
• Spiritual marriage
• Traditional marriage movement
• Major world religions

Related events and social processes

• Bachelor party
• Banns of marriage
• Betrothal
• Bridal shower
• Bride price
• Brideservice
• Dowry
• Dower
• Handfasting
• Mayian
• Prenuptial agreement
• Wedding anniversary

References

External links

• Laws and Customs of the Jewish Wedding chabad.org
• Polish wedding customs
• Indian wedding traditions Common cultural rituals and practices
• Cultural Wedding Traditions and Customs