Ned Flanders
Template:Simpsons character Nedward 'Ned' Flanders is a fictional character on The Simpsons, voiced by Harry Shearer. He and his family live next door to the Simpsons. A devout Protestant Christian, he is generally considered a pillar of the Springfield community. He is a positive representation of Evangelicals, leaning away from the "Fire and Brimstone" stereotype. Since the episode "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily" he has been a widower.
He was one of the first characters outside of the immediate Simpson family to appear on the show — his ownership of a vast and sparkling-new Winnebago, the Land Behemoth sparked the action of one of the first episodes.
Flanders was named after Flanders St. in Portland, Oregon, the hometown of Simpsons creator Matt Groening.[1]
Biography
Ned was raised in New York City by two beatniks. Ned's father looked precisely like his son would as an adult but with a goatee. Their poor parenting skills and refusal to discipline Ned ("We've tried nothin', and we're all out of ideas!") made him a childhood terror. He was eventually consigned to an experimental eight-month spanking therapy program (flashbacked to in "Hurricane Neddy") — the University of Minnesota Spankological Protocol — which taught him to repress any feelings of anger. This resulted in Ned acquiring an unusual speech defect caused by him holding in his anger, which manifests in his repeated use of the nonsense word "diddily" being inserted into other words, often to a manic degree in stressful situations. An example of this is the sentence, "I can-dan-diddily", instead of "I can". The treatment also resulted in him bearing a lifelong hatred of his parents, one of only two things that he hates (the other is the post office, whose long lines, surly employees and confusing machines annoy him).
In When Flanders Failed, Ned mentions he has a sister who lives in Capital City. After selling all the family's possessions, mostly to Homer at outrageously cheap prices, and spending the night in the family car, Ned planned on moving in with her. She has not been mentioned or seen since.
Ned is a graduate of Oral Roberts University[2], where he belonged to a fraternity. He may also have applied to Arizona State University, as he has mentioned the entry requirements there. According to the episode Viva Ned Flanders, he is sixty years old.
Ned is the owner of the two-story detached house next-door to the Simpsons', on the lot to the right. The address has been given as both 740 and 738 Evergreen Terrace. The front-door bell rings "Kumbaya" or "Onward Christian Soldiers," and the rooms include religious imagery including Shroud of Turin beach towels and a Lot's Wife salt-shaker. The house is well furnished with expensive furniture, which Ned claims he bought cheaply because it was "evidence from a murder trial". The backyard of the house, often used for Ned's various get-togethers, includes a patio, the enormous 'Propane Elaine' barbecue, and occasionally a recessed bomb shelter. In The Simpsons Guide to Springfield, the Flanders Youth Christian Hotel is described as "the only four-star hotel in Springfield." It is located within his house and is free, as long as residents take a Bible when they leave.
Appearance
Despite a meek outward appearance, Ned hides an exceptionally well-built physique under his pink shirt and green sweater combination. When he is revealed to be his early 60s in "Viva Ned Flanders" Ned claims his deceptively youthful appearance is due to his conformity to the "Three C's": "Clean living, Chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin Church!"
Both Ned and his family rarely refer to his moustache as such, preferring nicknames such as "Nose Neighbor," "Mr. Tickles," "The Soup Strainer," "The Cookie Duster," "The Pushbroom," and "Dr. Fuzzenstein." He once shaved it off, after Homer implied that people were mocking Ned's facial hair behind his back; Ned happily thanked Homer when, shortly after he did so, he was offered a chance to star in a television commercial due to his clean-shaven face. In spite of this, in the next episode Flanders had regrown his moustache.
Ned's moustache would also affect his decision to move to the fictional town of Humbleton, PA. After being hired at the town's Humble figurine manufacturing factory in "Home Away from Homer", Ned was ordered to shave his moustache, due to an unofficial ban on facial hair. Ned defiantly refused to shave his moustache for which he was labeled a troublemaker.
Ned is known for keeping his moustache neatly trim. In one episode, Ned reveals that whenever he gets bubblegum stuck in his mustache, he uses a piece of ice to freeze it, and then shatters it with a hammer.
Ned's left-handedness is ironic in several senses of the word: the Latin term for "left" is the origin of the modern English "sinister", yet Ned is painstakingly righteous; the following of "alternative" pagan religions is called the "left-hand path," yet Ned is distinctly Christian; in politics the "left" is liberal, yet Ned is a socially conservative Republican.
Personality
Ned is a genuinely well-meaning and good-natured person, one of the few in Springfield who can make that claim. Though firmly religious, he can be timid and something of a pushover. He is also often insecure. He is obsessed with following the Bible as literally as possible ("even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff") and is easily shocked when challenged on any point of dogma. This has led to his frequent calls to Reverend Lovejoy ("I... I think I'm coveting my own wife!") who has become increasingly frustrated with Flanders ("Have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."), who passive-aggressively avenges himself by encouraging his Olde English Sheepdog to defecate on Ned's lawn.
Speech patterns
Ned has the odd habit of attaching "diddly," "doodly" and other nonsensical phrases to his sentences. "Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor-ino," is a common example.[3] This is the result of sublimated anger caused by his upbringing, anger which has no other outlet.
His extreme prudishness makes him averse to saying "sex" aloud, even when there are no children in sight — he either spells it out or sheepishly calls it "doodily." Ned also uses the word "doodle," "flander-doodle" or "shrinky-dink" when referring to a penis. He also says "Hidilly-ho neighboreeno!" In the Simpsons Road Rage game, when you scroll over him, he says, "Ned Flanders at your ser-diddly-ervice!"
Religious beliefs
Flanders is a devout Christian; his specific denomination is revealed in "The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star," when Reverend Lovejoy states he and Flanders will bring Bart and Homer back to the "one true faith": The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism.
Ned's sons have been raised in a strict climate of Christian morality, to which they willingly conform. In one episode, it is revealed that they "don't believe in flu shots," much as their father considers insurance to be a "form of gambling" and dice games to be "wicked" (although Nintendo games such as Super Noah's Ark and Bible Blaster are permitted). Rod and Todd go to bed several hours before sunset and are not allowed to consume sugar (doing so makes them aggressive and violent towards each other); rather, they delight in nachos "Flanders-style" ("That's cucumbers and cottage cheese!") and wintergreen ice milk.
Most of the entertainment enjoyed by the family involves religion in some way. For instance, the family uses at least five different versions of the Bible to play "Bombardment...of Bible Questions!" ("The bridal feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb!?"), and are part of a competitive bowling team called the Holy Rollers (their uniform consisting of a Franciscan Friar's robes). Ned seems to sense that he cannot completely shield his family from the vagaries of popular culture, but does his best to mitigate the effects; one of his children's stories concludes "...and Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to Hell for practicing witchcraft." Though they have satellite TV, nearly all of the 230 channels are blocked out — likely for the best, as one episode of Itchy & Scratchy was enough to more or less permanently scar Rod and Todd. (Maude once crusaded against 'violent cartoons', as well, so blocking out the channels may have been her idea.) Todd used to watch "Davey and Goliath," but, finding the idea of talking dogs to be blasphemous, he has since stopped. Ned and Maude did have a subscription to Newsweek magazine, however, which may have been the means by which they followed outside goings-on.
Ned is willing to fight for what he believes in. For example, he once attempted to forcibly baptize the Simpson children, using his portable baptizin' kit, after finding out that they had never undergone the ritual. When Bart told him he wanted to convert to Judaism, Ned took out a bottle of chloroform in order to dissuade him. Likewise, when Lisa converted to Buddhism, he ordered Rod and Todd into the bomb shelter, telling them that they might never return to the surface. In "The Father, The Son & The Holy Guest Star", Ned reminds himself to get his hand "re-blessed" after shaking a Catholic priest's hand (odd, considering he keeps a Latin Vulgate Bible in his home). In the episode "HOMЯ", Homer becomes super-intelligent after having a crayon removed from his brain, and (while working on a flat tax proposal), accidentally proves there is no god. Ned, at first skeptical, reads the proof, and upon finding it airtight, says "Can't let this little doozy get out" and lights the paper on fire.
Despite occasional antipathy toward Judaism and Hinduism (he once compared worshiping Shiva to asking for help from Hawkman, and he fears that his children will grow up to become Jewish Hollywood producers), Ned is honest and sincere in carrying out the Christian doctrines of charity, kindness and compassion. He is frequently shown doing volunteer work, and is rigorously honest and upright, even going so far as to spend an entire day tracking down a Leftorium customer in order to give him the extra change that he had forgotten to hand over. Similarly, after winning football tickets by answering a radio trivia question, he immediately asked for the cash value so he could report it on his income taxes. He also is a good neighbor to the Simpsons, regularly offering his assistance — and then suffering the consequences often paid to those with good intentions. When a comet threatened to destroy the city, he attempted to save every single Springfieldian, and even decided to leave his bomb shelter instead of allowing someone else to die in his place. Ned fed, bathed and clothed Homer's half-brother Herb, before he created his second world-class business. It is a telling fact that both Rod and Todd wanted to anoint the sores on Herb's feet.
Ned was among the only Springfieldians to avoid being ensnared by the Movementarian cult and participated in the deprogramming of several cult members. However, he was fooled by an advertising stunt involving an archaeologically-excavated 'angel skeleton'. He believed it belonged to a real angel — though it is interesting that even the firmly dubious Lisa Simpson feared she was wrong when the angel began to speak.
He has compared floods to the tale Noah's Ark at least twice; when Homer flooded Springfield in "Mom and Pop Art," he believed that "The Lord [had] drowned the wicked and spared the righteous." In "Pray Anything," he built an ark himself, made entirely up of same-sex pairs (in a failed attempt to prevent sexual intercourse).
Ned was cast as the Devil in "Treehouse of Horror IV" ("It's always the one you least expect!") and as "unquestioned Lord and Master of the world" in "Treehouse of Horror V", in which he instituted Orwellian "Re-Neducation" facilities for those with impure thoughts culminating in frontal lobotomies. In other Halloween episodes he proclaimed his preference for "wanton carnality" as an early Pilgrim immigrant to the New World, only to be vetoed by Maude; been transformed into a werewolf; been murdered by Homer Simpson (who used the rise of a zombie horde as an excuse for killing him — Homer didn't care if Ned was actually zombie or not), a clone of Homer Simpson, and an evil bus-gremlin whom he attempted to adopt. He has also been seen participating in the "Walk for the Cure to Homosexuality."
Ned has also represented God; when Marge fantasizes about being Eve to Homer's Adam in "Simpsons Bible Stories", God's arm is clothed in Ned's classic green sweater and His voice is certainly that of Ned.
Political activities
Ned has been seen voting in a municipal election, in which he - like everyone in Springfield, both living and dead - voted for Sideshow Bob, a Republican Party candidate. He was not present at a meeting of the Springfield Republican Party (perhaps because it was held in a vampire's castle), but he did once say, "I wish we lived in a world more like the America of yesteryear, that only exists in the minds of us Republicans."
After Maude's death, Flanders began to petition the FCC to remove "inappropriate" content from broadcast television, finding all but the religious shows indecent. In "You Kent Always Say What You Want," after telling Rod and Todd he planned to force the government to fire Kent Brockman for accidentally swearing during the news, they replied, "Daddy, we think you need a new Mommy."
Diet
He likes peanut butter cups, with Yoo-hoo and Slice to drink — he served the same to the students of Springfield Elementary. His favorite ice-cream flavor is plain. Ned likes to snack on white bread "with a glass of water on the side for dippin'," and believes that corn-starch is "good for keepin' down the urges." Ned has a realistic view of the meat industry, but this does not stop him from enjoying a fine roast chicken: "Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middlemen who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined boys over at the slaughterhouse."
In the episode "Hurricane Neddy," it is revealed that Ned keeps kosher "just to be on the safe side."
Anger management
His anger, repressed since childhood, erupted following the destruction of his house by a hurricane. Ned suffered a crisis of faith and a very public nervous breakdown, during which he pointedly criticized all of Springfield's citizens. For a time, he had himself committed at "Calmwood," a psychiatric hospital in Springfield. While institutionalized, Ned wore a straitjacket and read the newspaper with his feet. Upon his release, he expressed his desire never to squelch his true feelings again, much to the jubilation of his friends (his desire to run his enemies down with his car led to slightly less jubilation).
Relationships
Ned’s dogged friendship inspires the loyalty of others; when his Leftorium appeared on the verge of bankruptcy shortly after it opened, Homer arranged a Frank Capra-esque George Bailey-bailout with the help of many people in Springfield.
Romantic relationships
At some point before or after college, Ned met and married the equally meek and religious Maude. They had two children together; the sheltered and naïve Rod and Todd, these two names possibly being chosen as they both rhyme with God. Ned is a widower, following the freak t-shirt cannon accident that claimed Maude's life in the episode "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily." Since Maude's death, Ned has been connected romantically with a beautiful Christian-rock singer, Rachel Jordan (voiced by Shawn Colvin), and a movie star, Sara Sloane (voiced by Marisa Tomei).
Homer Simpson
In the early years of the show, Homer Simpson generally loathed Ned, aside from a short stint as his best friend, because Ned's family, job, health and self-discipline are of higher quality than he could ever hope to attain himself. Marge Simpson's enduring fondness for him did not help the situation, either. Homer tells Ned to "shut your stupid face" on a regular basis, and has even prayed for his ruin and death — "I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead." As the show progressed, though, Homer and Ned's relationship was more thoroughly explored; they appear to be good friends, and Homer seems to genuinely care for Ned, despite still expressing (and often acting on) feelings of loathing. Examples of this include Homer comforting Ned following Maude's death (seconds after preparing to bash Ned's head in with a rock), and helping Ned build Praiseland Amusement Park.
Music
Ned maintains a secret reverence for The Beatles, admitting to Homer: "Of course I was into the Beatles! They were bigger than Jesus!" (referencing John Lennon's controversial remarks in 1966 — he actually said that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus"). Ned has collected many Beatles-related items, including vintage records, novelty soda cans, bobble-heads, the identical suits the band wore during their Ed Sullivan Show appearance, a cardboard yellow submarine, and a Blue Meanie from that movie.
He also likes David Crosby (calling him a "troubled troubadour"). He has made references to various Led Zeppelin songs such as Stairway to Heaven and Dazed and Confused
Career
The Leftorium
In the third season episode "When Flanders Failed," it was revealed that Ned worked as a salesperson in the pharmaceuticals industry for the bulk of his adult life. Having saved much of his earnings, Flanders announced during a barbecue he was throwing for his family and friends that he had quit his job and planned to invest the family's life savings into a new business. After burning his necktie, he proclaimed his intent to open a store in the Springfield mall called The Leftorium specializing in products for left-handed people: everything from left-handed can openers to an entirely left-handed car, of which only three were ever made. Many of the Leftorium's products are merely labeled as "left-handed," such as pens and nunchucks. He does not sell, however, left-handed eyelash curlers.
The Leftorium was originally shown on the second floor of the Springfield Mall, at the top of an escalator, but in the episode "Last Tap Dance in Springfield" it was shown to be on the first floor. The Leftorium faces stiff competition from Leftopolis and Left-Mart; however an unusually large proportion of Springfield's citizens are left-handed, including Bart Simpson, Principal Skinner, Mr. Burns, and Moe Szyslak.
Other jobs
Ned began an internet company called Flancrest Enterprises (which deals in religious hook-rugs) and founded a Bible-themed amusement park called Praiseland, in honor of his late wife. (That he would go to such lengths to fulfill her last wish is unsurprising, as Ned had previously exerted himself a great deal in order to avoid disappointing Maude — after accidentally killing Maude's prized ficus plant, he attempted to bury and secretly replace it rather than explain the situation).
He has also had a brief career as a religious-film director, creating an homage to Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ called The Passion of Cain and Abel, starring Rod and Todd as the title characters. He also directed a remake of The Ten Commandments for the Springfield Film Festival, with Todd playing the role of the infant Moses. When placed into the strong current of the 'Nile,' Todd was whisked away. Immediately after praying ("Flanders to God! Flanders to God! Get off your cloud and save my Todd!"), lightning struck a tree down-river and stopped the basket. Ned offered a simple "Thanks, God," to which God responded in kind: "Okely-dokely!" This, in addition to the fact that God once obliged Ned with a rain-shower to stop a fire from reaching his house, has led some to theorize that Ned is so close to God, he can summon his aid at will. This is further evidenced when Ned misses a bowling pin while playing in a tournament and looks up saying, "It's me, Ned" and the pin promptly falls over.
Volunteer work
Ned is involved in community grass-roots groups such as the "Citizens' Committee on Moral Hygiene" and the "Neighborhood Association". He is the head of the local PTA, and part of the environmentalism movement (demonstrated when he encouraged Montgomery Burns to begin recycling - Ned was fortunate to be wearing his Assassins at the time, since Mr. Burns released "the hounds" on him). He spends every Wednesday feeding the homeless at the Springfield soup kitchen "Helter Shelter", and reads to sick children at the hospital, where he unknowingly witnesses a softer side of Moe: "If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt."
Ned has organized several events as Junior Camper Leader, including the popular "Sponge Bathe the Old Folks Day." Many of those who attended his Junior Camper Annual Father-Son Rafting Trip were never seen again, after spending the night at an abandoned campsite. Ned seems to know Ernest Borgnine well enough to request his attendance as a celebrity "fill-in" father at Junior Camper events (though this may merely indicate his influence in the organization).
He acts in community theater, and has portrayed both Stanley Kowalski and Blanche DuBois ("Just part of the fun of going to an all-male school") in various versions of Tennessee Williams's A Streetcar Named Desire He is a supporter of the Jebediah Springfield legend, acting as a merchandise vendor during one town parade in Jebediah's honor and briefly as town crier during another. Ned claims the hat and bell of the town crier are family heirlooms — it is possible they belonged to colonial-era Commander Flanders.
"The Adventures of Ned Flanders"
The Adventures of Ned Flanders was a short that appeared at the end of the episode The Front. Entitled Love that God, it highlights the Flanders' dedication to religion and perfect family niceness, yet again. Ned nearly scolds Rod and Todd, who are busy praying, after they refuse to get ready for church — only to be told that it is, in fact, a Saturday. Ned laughs at his mistake with a trademark "okelydokely!" According to commentary on 22 Short Films About Springfield, The Simpsons team wanted to do more "Adventures of Ned Flanders" shorts. Time limitations have prevented them from producing more.
References
- ^ Blake, Joseph (2007-01-06). "Painting the town in Portland". The Vancouver Sun.
{{cite web}}: Check date values in:|date=(help); Unknown parameter|accessmonthday=ignored (help); Unknown parameter|accessyear=ignored (|access-date=suggested) (help) - ^ "Saint Flanders. (excerpt from The Gospel According to the Simpsons: The Spiritual Life of America's Most Animated Family)", Christianity Today, February 5, 2001, p28. "Like many of the series' characters, Flanders is the frequent object of satire. An Oral Roberts University graduate who is never without a Bible and a large piece of the True Cross (which saved his life in one episode when he was shot), Ned believes that an essential element of a good life is 'a daily dose of vitamin church.'"
- ^ "Cath-diddly-atholic church" is an extreme example, uttered by Flanders in "Margical History Tour".It reflects the greeting of the Gordon Hathaway recurring character on the Steve Allen Show, with his arch "Hi-ho, Steverino!"