Jesper Juul

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Jesper Juul (2010)

Jesper Juul (born April 18, 1948 in Vordingborg , † July 25, 2019 in Odder ) was a Danish family therapist . He was the founder of the Kempler Institute of Scandinavia in Odder, Denmark and author of numerous books on family relationships and education .

Life

Juul grew up in Vordingborg, Herning and Ebeltoft . After graduating from secondary school, he went to sea as a fair boy and young cook for the Danish shipping company Det Østasiatiske Kompagni (East Asiatic Company). He then worked as an earthworker and concrete worker as well as a dishwasher and bartender.

From 1966 to 1970 he studied history and religion at the Marselisborg Teachers' College. After completing his studies, Juul worked for three years as a teacher and social worker in the “Bøgholt” treatment center run by the Mannschatz student Harald Rasmussen in Viby near Aarhus. On a course he met the American psychiatrist and family therapist Walter Kempler and the Danish child psychiatrist Mogens A. Lund, who became his teachers and therapists. He then worked for nine years with groups of single mothers in the Aarhus Municipality Youth Center . In addition, he trained as a family therapist in Denmark, the Netherlands and the USA and worked as a freelance group therapist and personality trainer.

In 1979 he founded the Kempler Institute of Scandinavia with Lund, his wife Lis Keizer and in collaboration with Kempler , which he headed until 2006. He continued to work there as a teacher and advisor until his death. Since 1991 he has worked with refugee families and war veterans in Croatia for about three months a year . In 2004, Jesper Juul founded the parent counseling project FamilyLab International . There are now independent departments in Denmark, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Croatia, Norway, Austria, Sweden and Slovenia. These offer seminars whose leaders have been trained by Juul. Until he fell ill in November 2012, he worked in nine countries.

In December 2012, he developed transverse myelitis . He spent 16 months in rehabilitation in a Danish hospital and did not return home until May / June 2014. He described his condition as "disabled" - paralyzed in the lower body and sitting in a wheelchair. Since June 2014 he was able to write again and offered consultations and supervision via email or web chats. His ability to speak was only restored in autumn 2016. In the meantime, the “Country Leaders” and “Seminar Leaders” from FamilyLab International as well as his personal assistant Katharina Weiner from Vienna played an important role.

Jesper Juul had a grown son from his first marriage and was divorced in his second marriage. He died of pneumonia in his home on July 25, 2019, at the age of 71 .

Juul's educational views

Post-democratic education

For traditional, authoritarian upbringing , values ​​such as discipline, good manners, respect and obedience are very important. The parent-child relationship is characterized by a hierarchical relationship. The parents are considered to be the sole rulers within the family. An example of a tool used by parents and educators is to create respect through violence. This also includes psychological "injuries caused by traumatizing verbalizations".

Modern, democratic upbringing principles such as personal independence, the ability to make judgments and self-confidence bring the child's autonomy to the fore. In the wake of the anti-authoritarian movement, the formerly power-based parent-child relationship changed to a partnership relationship.

Juul distanced himself - not least self-critically - from both approaches, whose “superficiality” and “lack of ethical substance” he complained. He welcomed the historical development, but criticized its educational inappropriateness. Here, according to Juul, due to a common misjudgment of the “nature of the children”, a practical ideological trench warfare was waged over the “correct” education at the expense of the adolescents. Despite the best intentions of a progressive educational philosophy, there has actually been a shift in educational responsibility to the detriment of the children. His "post-democratic", practice-oriented concept seeks a contemporary design of the parent-child relationship beyond outdated authoritarian or abstract democratic principles. Classic questions of upbringing would be overrated to the disadvantage of the crucial reality of relationships: “I am concerned with the interaction of personalities. You have to know: who am I? Who is my child You can't say anything general about what mothers are to people, what children are to people. "

According to Kerstin Guzmán, this corresponds to an authoritative parenting style or concept. In addition to gestalt therapeutic influences, his work was mainly influenced by systemic and humanistic approaches to family therapy .

The competent child

According to Juul, the conventional debate about the “correct” method of upbringing is based on an underestimation and disregard for the child's social abilities across all parties. Jesper Juul is of the opinion that children are fully fledged people who do not first have to be formed by instructions, prohibitions and punishments. He rejects the traditional image of the child as a primitive, antisocial or half-wild being, which must first be made human through appropriate educational measures:

“Children are born with all social and human characteristics. In order to develop them further, they need nothing but the presence of adults who behave humanly and socially. Every method is not only superfluous, but counterproductive because it turns children into objects for their loved ones. "

The title of the work “Your competent child”, originally published in 1996, also marks a changed basic attitude. Following the newer research on babies and toddlers , Juul carried out a paradigm shift for the parent-child relationship that enabled a new perspective. This requires a principally dialogical attitude towards the child and the willingness to perceive upbringing as an open, future-oriented experiment from which both sides can benefit in their further development. With trust in the child's competence, upbringing becomes a mutual exchange of relationship partners who differ only in terms of experience and responsibility. The focus of this approach is on the quality of the relationship and not on the content to be conveyed or methodological rigor:

“When I describe children as competent, I mean that we can learn important things from them. That they enable us through their reactions to regain our lost competence and to get rid of our sterile, loveless and destructive behavior patterns [...] We have to find a form of dialogue that many adults do not master even with one another [...] "

Equality (ligeværdighed)

The way in which the parents treat one another, resolve conflicts and argue, is decisive for the development of the child's innate skills. The nature of the relationship between family members, respect for one another and the recognition of each other's dignity are the main contributors to the family's well-being. Juul calls this basic attitude and special quality of the relationship ligeværdighed . The German translation tries to match the conceptual character of the Danish term with the neologism "equivalency".

“We have learned that a certain quality of relationship between adults and children can transform destructive relationships into constructive ones. This quality was initially difficult to concretise and get a grip on because it happened “between the lines” - in the interpersonal process. That was in a decade in which there was a violent democratization of adult-child relationships throughout society, which often made use of political terminology or which had political-ideological roots. So it was not easy to define this psychological and existential quality as an academic concept - but eventually we agreed that the term "equality" was accurate and useful. "

Adults and children encounter each other “equally”, provided that their relationship is shaped as a relationship between subjects. The intersubjective conception of the pedagogical relationship is just as resistant to an authoritarian as a laisser-fair attitude, in which either the child or the adult is degraded to the object: “Equal in my understanding means both“ of equal value ”(as a person) and also "with the same respect" for the partner's personal dignity and integrity. In an equal relationship, the wishes, beliefs and needs of both partners are taken equally seriously and are not dismissed or ignored with reference to gender, age or disability. Equality thus does justice to the fundamental need of all people to be seen, heard and taken seriously as an individual. "

“Equality” is the model of a relationship culture that at the same time distinguishes Juul's approach from an attitude that wants to adopt democratic principles for the educational relationship without criticism. In this relationship, children do not have the same rights and responsibilities as adults. In particular, the general climate of relationships is the sole responsibility of the educators, who exercise their basic role model function here. At the beginning of their upbringing, parents lead their children based on their experience and skills. In the course of its development, the child learns to be responsible for itself through its parents. As the child gets older, parents must learn to hand over leadership and responsibility to the children.

Cooperation and integrity

The child's competencies also include a fundamental willingness to cooperate, the nature and forms of expression of which are often misunderstood by conventional upbringing. "Cooperation" in Juul's understanding does not mean that the child obeys and follows parental instructions without contradiction. The cooperative behavior of the child rather reflects the behavior of the adult caregiver, which it either directly imitates or indirectly comments on in apparent refusal. According to Juul, supposedly non-cooperative behavior is a mostly misunderstood, "qualified feedback" of the child on unreflected areas on the part of the educator: When children "[...] make their parents aware of their emotional and existential problems in verbal and non-verbal form ] [...] they are [...] most valuable when they appear to be the most arduous. "

Destructive behavior of a child therefore always reflects an originally destructive or self-destructive behavior of the relevant adults in his environment. For the dependent child, cooperation in this sense always has priority over claims of integrity. A family climate that regularly disregards the integrity of its members leads to actively degrading or overly cooperative behavior in the child. The more massive the violation of the child's dignity, the more it will tend to passively subordinate itself to destructive tendencies. Such injuries occur, according to Juul, for example in forced obedience and are also based on phenomena of cooperation with a verbally, physically or sexually abusive parent.

While parents and experts regularly focus on the child's behavior in need of correction, deficit-oriented, Juul advocates a family-systemic reading. The child is the symptom carrier of a disturbed family dynamic. Against this background, disorders of social behavior or psychosomatic illnesses can be understood as forms of cooperation with a dysfunctional environment. Above all, the behavior and values ​​of the responsible adults need to be corrected. Juul believes this is the only way to create a stable parent-child relationship.

In a family that tries to conform to the principle of equality, according to Juul, the persistence of the conflict between integrity and cooperation is taken into account:

“There is no such thing as a perfect family or a perfect society. The conflict between integrity and cooperation cannot be resolved and leads to certain signals and symptoms in all family members. The quality of family life, however, depends on the ability of adults to deal with these signals and symptoms and to include the pain of the individual in communication. "

Self-esteem and self-confidence

According to Juul, a child in the playground who shouts “Mom, have a look” basically doesn't want to hear any praise, but simply wants to be noticed. In order to be able to feel oneself, one needs the participating witness of the mother.

Juul accordingly differentiates self-esteem and self-confidence . A child's sense of self depends on the fact that they feel that they are “themselves” in the family. It is based on the fundamental need to be “seen” directly and not just “looked at” at a distance or to be critically observed and evaluated. The basis of this feeling is a non-objectifying view of the child, which is the direct expression of his recognition as a subject. In this sense, the child's sense of self is an indicator of the intersubjective constitution and talent of a family.

Self-confidence, on the other hand, is based on recognition for achievements. One can observe children who have a high level of self-confidence, but who only have a weak self-esteem. They have been praised and recognized primarily for something, but rarely valued as themselves. Failure to achieve an achievement or the realization of limited talent lead directly to a loss of self-esteem in such children, as this was only confirmed to a limited extent within the framework of a certain educational climate. Self-confidence grows with the quality of the service provided; self-esteem depends on the quality of the relationship.

According to Juul, traditional upbringing mainly uses verbal strategies such as admonitions, instructions and explanations. It ignores the fact that children learn behavior through imitation . Children must be allowed to observe and experiment, then they fit into the culture through imitation. This is how children cooperate. A constant stream of admonitions and explanations will make the child feel stupid or wrong. Even if the tone is rather friendly and understanding, it sends the message: “You are not right!” And thus does great damage to the child's self-image and self-esteem .

Publications (selection)

By year of publication:

  • What is there today? Eating together makes families strong. Walter, Düsseldorf 2002. (3rd edition. Beltz, Weinheim 2009, ISBN 978-3-407-22918-2 ).
  • with Helle Jensen: From obedience to responsibility. For a new culture of education. Walter, Düsseldorf 2004. (3rd edition. Beltz, Weinheim 2009, ISBN 978-3-407-22915-1 ).
  • Education becomes relationship. Authentic parents - competent children. Herder, Freiburg im Breisgau 2005, ISBN 3-451-05533-3 .
  • Our child is chronically ill. A guide for parents. Kösel, Munich 2005, ISBN 3-466-30683-3 .
  • What families wear. Values ​​in education and partnership. Kösel, Munich 2006. (Beltz, Weinheim 2008, ISBN 978-3-407-22905-2 ).
  • The competent family. New values ​​in education. Kösel, Munich 2007, ISBN 978-3-466-30752-4 .
  • No out of love. Clear parents - strong children. Kösel, Munich 2008, ISBN 978-3-466-30776-0 .
  • Your competent child. On the way to a new foundation of values ​​for the whole family. New translation. Rowohlt, 2009, ISBN 978-3-499-62533-6 .
  • Limits, closeness, respect. On the way to a competent parent-child relationship. Rowohlt, Reinbek 2009, ISBN 978-3-499-62534-3 .
  • with Pernille W. Lauritsen: Ask Jesper Juul. Conversations with parents. Götz, Dörfles 2009, ISBN 978-3-902625-07-6 .
  • Puberty. When education is no longer possible. Kösel, Munich 2010, ISBN 978-3-466-30871-2 .
  • Parent coaching: educate with ease. Beltz, Weinheim 2011, ISBN 978-3-407-85920-4 .
  • Be a husband & a father. Kreuz, Freiburg im Breisgau 2011, ISBN 978-3-451-61044-8 .
  • Step parents become bonus parents. Opportunities and challenges for blended families. Kösel, Munich 2011, ISBN 978-3-466-30909-2 .
  • Family counseling: prospects and process. Voelchert, Munich 2012, ISBN 978-3-935758-21-5 .
  • The family house. How big and small get along well. Kösel, Munich 2012, ISBN 978-3-466-30920-7 .
  • Who do our children belong to? The state, the parents or yourself? Views on early care. From the English by Kerstin Schöps. Beltz, Weinheim an der Bergstrasse 2012, ISBN 978-3-407-85970-9 .
  • School infarction. What can we do to make children, parents and teachers better off? Kösel, Munich 2013, ISBN 978-3-466-30984-9 .
  • Be the lead wolves. Loving leadership in the family. Beltz, Weinheim an der Bergstrasse 2016, ISBN 978-3-407-86404-8 .

Web links

Individual evidence

  1. ↑ Jesper Juul is dead. Spiegel Online , July 26, 2019, accessed on July 26, 2019 .
  2. ↑ a b c d e f g Jesper Juul. Biography. July 2015, accessed October 6, 2014 .
  3. ↑ Julia Schaaf: New educational methods: "Lead like a wolf" , Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, February 15, 2016.
  4. ↑ Are you okay, Jesper Juul? , Jeannette Otto, Die Zeit, February 6, 2017 (accessed March 3, 2017)
  5. ↑ Jesper Juul. June 2014. (No longer available online.) June 30, 2015, archived from the original on October 6, 2014 ; Retrieved October 6, 2014 . Info: The archive link was inserted automatically and has not yet been checked. Please check the original and archive link according to the instructions and then remove this notice. @1@ 2Template: Webachiv / IABot / www.jesperjuul.com
  6. ↑ Werner Stangl : Changing values ​​in raising children. 2001, accessed December 15, 2015 .
  7. ↑ a b c d Kerstin Guzmán: Jesper Juul on education “What children need”. (PDF; 541 kB) A scientific classification of the theoretical approaches and statements by Jesper Juul. January 8, 2010, accessed December 15, 2015 .
  8. ↑ see: Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), introduction; P. 9 ff.
  9. ↑ Juul uses the term “post-democratic” family as an alternative to the “equal” family; see. Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), p. 276 ff.
  10. ↑ "Education is overrated" , Alan Posener , Die Welt , September 2, 2012, accessed on June 15, 2017
  11. ↑ Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), p. 24
  12. ^ Original title: "Dit competent barn", Copenhagen (Verlag Schønberg), 1996; German EA at Rowohlt 1997
  13. ↑ Juul refers explicitly to the Swedish psychologist Margareta Brodén (1992): "Maybe we were wrong - maybe children are competent." Quoted from Juul: Your competent child , Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag, Reinbek, 2016 (new translation 2009, 13th edition ), P. 11
  14. ↑ see: Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), introduction; Quote p. 15
  15. ↑ Wolfgang Uchatius: Education. A question of respect. April 30, 2009, accessed December 15, 2015 .
  16. ↑ Translated from the Danish original: Jesper Juul: Den ligeværdige relation on family lab
  17. ^ Jesper Juul: Was Familien wears , Kösel-Verlag, 2006, p. 24
  18. ↑ see: Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), chap. Children cooperate !, pp. 46–96; Quote p. 66
  19. ↑ see: Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), chap. Integrity, pp. 59-77
  20. ↑ a b Jesper Juul: Your competent child. On the way to a new foundation of values ​​for the whole family . 12th edition. Rowohlt, 2009, ISBN 978-3-499-62533-6 .
  21. ↑ Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), p. 80
  22. ↑ cf. on this and the following: Jesper Juul: Your competent child, Reinbek near Hamburg (Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag), 2016 (= new translation 2009, 13th edition), chap. Self- Esteem and Confidence, pp. 97–138.
  23. ↑ Do teachers need to learn to thank the student? In: Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung . June 18, 2013, (accessed March 6, 2016)
personal data
SURNAME Juul, Jesper
BRIEF DESCRIPTION Danish teacher and group and family therapist
DATE OF BIRTH April 18, 1948
PLACE OF BIRTH Vordingborg
DATE OF DEATH July 25, 2019
Place of death Odder