The mother of success

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Amy Chua (right) with her daughters Sophia and Lulu (2011).

The mother of success. How I taught my children to win (Original title: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother ) is an autobiographical book by the Chinese-American lawyer Amy Chua published in the United States in 2011 . In it, Chua tells how she trained her two daughters to be top musical talents using authoritative Chinese educational methods.

In the United States, ever since it was published, the book has been the focus of an emotionally charged discourse about the importance of achievement in parenting. In German-speaking countries, on the other hand, it provides material for discussions about how much authority parents are allowed to exercise.

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In her book, Chua tells the story of the upbringing of her two daughters, who, with considerable dedication and ambition, allow her to learn the piano or violin, whereby this undertaking leads to success in the case of the older daughter, while the younger one finally resists and the mother gives up forces. Chua is a daughter of Chinese immigrants , was raised the traditional Chinese way and raises her daughters the same way. The mother of success is the first internationally recognized book that gives a Western reading public insights into this style of upbringing, whereby the interest of the readers stems primarily from the fact that Chinese schoolchildren and students in the USA are now notorious overachievers who are more successful in the American educational system are than the majority of Americans of European descent. In the preliminary remark, however, Chua admits that her book is not an apologetics of the Chinese educational philosophy, and underlines this with numerous frank depictions of situations in which she herself does not cut a good figure. Nevertheless, The Mother of Success has been compared to the Chinese bestseller Harvard Girl (2000) by Liu Weihua and Zhang Xinwu, which is largely unknown in the West .

Another central theme of the book is the clash of worldviews that occurs when Westerners and Chinese try to explain their educational concepts to each other .

Family scenario

Amy Chua comes from a Chinese family of Roman Catholic academics who immigrated to the United States from the Philippines before Chua's birth . Chua is an economist and lawyer and has taught at Yale University since 2001 . Her husband, Jed Rubenfeld, is American with European ancestry, also teaches as a lawyer at Yale and is a successful writer. The daughters Sophia (* 1993) and Louisa ("Lulu", * 1996) were brought up like their father in the tradition of Reform Judaism . You grew up as a native English speaker, but since the Hokkien dialect was spoken in Chua's parents' house and she does not speak standard Chinese, you have received private Chinese lessons.

The Chinese style of upbringing

As Asian and American influences have become an unmanageable amalgam in the cultural environment that Chua describes in her book, she can, as she already emphasizes at the beginning, use the terms “Chinese mother” and “Chinese style of upbringing” only metaphorically . Many ethnic Chinese who were born in the United States raise their children in the "Western" style, and many parents who practice the "Chinese" style described by Chua are not Chinese at all, but Korean, Indian, or occasionally even European. However, it is from her own parents' home that Chua takes all elements of her parenting style and the values ​​on which this parenting style is based. How u. a. As demonstrated by psychologist Ruth Chao , these values ​​are and this style of parenting is widespread in Sino-American families.

As the central value that Chua tries to convey to her children, she names ability and performance ( excellence ), and her highest educational goal is the young person's trust in their own abilities ( confidence ). The role of parents is to show the child what they are capable of and to equip them with the resources they will need for their future life: skills , good work habits and self-confidence . Education and school success are traditionally rated extremely highly in China; Chinese parents spend ten times more time than western parents training skills that can only be learned through practice (such as multiplication tables ) . Like many other Chinese parents, Chua always expects their daughters to get the highest marks .

In this context, Chua also introduces the term obedience , which is firmly rooted in Chinese culture as filial piety through Confucianism . Children are traditionally committed to their parents to the utmost. While the term "obedience" arouses associations of dog training and " black pedagogy " in the western world , it is considered a high virtue in China. Chua suspects that Chinese parents' right to obedience also has something to do with the considerable sacrifices they make for their children, which often go far beyond what western parents are willing to do.

Chinese parents usually place less value than western parents on the fact that their children cultivate friendships outside the family or are part of a peer group . Sport - the main passion of many European-American school children - is also not considered important. Chua is no exception. Their daughters were not allowed to have play dates or stay with other children or take part in primarily social activities such as school theater .

Ruth Chao has demonstrated and as well Chua makes clearly visible in her book, the climate in Chinese families in spite of all authority , control and criticism , exerting the parents, not of hardship, Freud and lack of love, but of a high responsiveness of Parents and shaped by child-oriented family activities, which are also typical for most western families. Ruth Chao classifies a style of upbringing like the Amy Chuas not as authoritarian , but as authoritative .

Criticism of the Western style of upbringing

Amy Chua characterizes the "western parenting style" as a parenting style in which the parents respect the child's individuality , encourage them to follow their true passions , support their decisions (whatever they may be), and practice positive reinforcement instead of criticism and punishment and generally offer the child a supportive environment. Part of the excitement that has shaped the reception of the book stems from the fact that Chua subjects this style of upbringing to sharp criticism. The mother of success is the first education book widely received in the western world, in which western education is criticized from a non-western perspective. At the beginning of the book, Chua quotes from a study on the attitudes of American parents in which almost 70% of respondents of European descent expressed their conviction that it is not good for children to be expected to succeed in school, and that parents believe their children are not good convey the idea that learning is fun. The Chinese-born respondents, on the other hand, completely disagreed with these two statements and felt that failure of the child in school indicates that the parents “are not doing their job”. In the course of her narrative, Chua names numerous other points of criticism:

  • She regrets that western parents have no hopes or dreams about the future of their children and that they constantly underestimate their children's potential. This is shown, among other things, in the habit of parents to inflationary praise their children even for trivial achievements .
  • She criticizes the fact that Western parents consider their children to be excessively fragile and thus make them fragile according to the principle of self-fulfilling prophecy . With all the exaggerated cautiousness in dealing with the feelings of their children, western parents often fail to let them grow up with a positive self-image. This consideration is nothing new in the American educational discourse and was put up for discussion by the psychologist Wendy Mogel in a highly acclaimed book back in 2001.
  • Western parents, in Chua's opinion, are all too willing to come to terms with when their children do not develop well. Although on the one hand constantly worry about the self-esteem of their children, let Western parents on the other hand it pass the same children too readily if they quickly give up one thing that does not succeed right away again (instead they learn to get them to learn something can , which they thought was impossible for them).
  • Chua also considers the view of western parents to be problematic, according to which children owe their parents nothing, but parents owe their children everything - especially " happiness ". In their opinion, Western parents not only get off badly, but all too often fail with their happiness education. Although western parents usually struggle to make their children happy, when they grow up they often feel insurmountable resentment towards their parents and no longer want to have much to do with them (while the Chinese hardly ever see their elderly parents, for example deport to the home ). "Western children are definitely no happier than Chinese ones."
  • Chua's last major criticism is that, in her opinion, many Western parents are unwilling to make their own decisions and make the efforts necessary to raise their children well. Chua is under the impression that many western parents take the path of least resistance, orientate themselves in their upbringing exclusively to what everyone else does, and maxims such as "You have to give your children the freedom to follow their passions" themselves hold it holy when the child's “ self-realization ” is obviously misguided and z. B. consists of spending hours on Facebook .

The music education of the daughters

The study of classical music connected with learning an instrument has no tradition in China and is Chua's personal ingredient in raising her daughters. As a child she took piano lessons herself, but only developed a deep understanding of music when she accompanied her daughters' instrumental lessons. She understands classical music - especially the violin - not as a random hobby , but as the key to a good education; Because this music is so difficult to access and its wealth only becomes accessible after long, arduous work, Chua sees it as a fundamental counter-concept to consumerism and superficiality, to which the privileged children of successful parents so easily fall prey to. While western parents usually assume that someone will only make good progress in a field if they enjoy the activity from the start, Chua argues that - conversely - enjoying an activity is a question of mastery in the field has attained. The path to excellence in music, as in many other fields, consists of hard work and conscientious, persistent practice. Children neither like this nor do they do it on their own, regardless of the culture in which they grow up. While Western parents shy away from forcing their children to do things they resist, Chinese children very soon get to a point under pressure from their parents where they begin to excel in one area (math, piano, baseball, ballet) As a result, the activity that was not initially experienced as fun is finally enjoyed and loved by the child.

Sophia starts her piano lessons at the age of three; Lulu also studies the piano , but since Chua does not want to expose the sisters to a competitive situation, she also learns the violin from the age of seven and soon confines himself entirely to this instrument. Both girls are trained according to the Suzuki method , which differs from other methods and a. through the intensive cooperation of the mother in the home practice, what makes it possible for children to learn an instrument at a very young age. The Suzuki method suits Chua because it supports a steep progression of difficulty when practicing intensively. Chua subjects the daughters to a forced exercise plan and soon works with each of them for three hours a day, even when the external conditions (such as when traveling) are difficult. While Sophia proves to be highly cooperative - but Chua catches her secretly biting her instrument in anger - practicing with Lulu turns into an everyday wrestling match for Chua. Chua takes this on because the child obviously likes to play his instrument and just doesn't like to practice .

Both daughters develop musical talent in a very short time . Sophia received private lessons from the eminent pianist Wei-Yi Yang and won an international competition that enabled her to make her debut as a soloist at Carnegie Hall at the age of 14 . Lulu attends master classes with the famous violin teacher Almita Vamos , applies for the youth program of the Juilliard School , is rejected there, but wins the important violinist Naoko Tanaka as a new private teacher , wins a regional talent competition and becomes concertmaster of a youth orchestra at the age of 12 .

In her book, Chua deals in detail with the arguments with Lulu, who from the age of 12 onwards increasingly openly rebels against the mother's rigorous exercise regime. When Lulu was thirteen years old, Chua was finally worn down and allowed her to give up the instrument. Lulu resigns from her position as concertmaster and gives up lessons with Tanaka, but decides to continue studying the violin, albeit with significantly less effort. In addition, she begins to play tennis with ambition .

Publication and reception

United States

The mother of success stands on the one hand in the tradition of Chinese-American literature and on the other hand follows a tradition of criticism of the American education for mediocrity, which was founded in 1911 at the latest with Boris Sidis ' book Philistine and Genius . Chua started writing her book in June 2009. Upon completion, she published an excerpt in the Wall Street Journal . This preprint, which was entitled Why Asian Mothers are Superior (German: " Why Asian Mothers Are Superior "), was made on January 8, 2011, ten days before the start of an official visit by Chinese President Hu Jintao to Washington , and was thus able to can easily be identified as a contribution to the social discourse on possible future close economic cooperation between the United States and the People's Republic of China (“ Chimerica ”, “Group of Two”). The title addressed widespread American fears of national decline. The growing presence of Sino-Americans in American universities is already evident today, and the article's provocative headline promised an explanation for the phenomenon. After the pre-release, Chua received death threats and hundreds of emails. The Wall Street Journal website posted over 7,000 comments.

The full book was released on January 11, 2011. The original English title Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother means in German something like "battle song of a tiger mother" and alludes to the zodiac of Chinese astrology under which the author was born. The book reached number 2 on the top seller list (non-fiction / hardcover section) at the beginning of February and was only surpassed by Laura Hillenbrand's Louis Zamperini biography Unbroken . The publication of the book was followed by a flood of reviews and critical articles in which Chua was attested to an obsessive and abusive treatment of the daughters, whose real needs Chua did not consider because she was only concerned with the satisfaction of her own ambition. The book caused pain in some Asian readers who were victims of extreme Asian educational practices.

Chua's daughter Sophia responded to this criticism with an article, Why I love my strict Chinese mom , published in the New York Post , in which she fervently defended her mother's parenting style.

Many readers and reviewers of Chua's book felt that her educational criticism was overdue and more or less agreed with her. For example, David Brooks , columnist for the New York Times , welcomed Chua's “broadside against American home education” and her criticism of American parents who produce high-quality children but do not force them to live up to their potential. However, Brooks classifies the parenting style, which Chua calls “Chinese”, as a hardcore version of the performance orientation that determines everyday parenting in large parts of the upper middle class anyway. The only point in Chua's book that offends him is her belief in the high intellectual difficulty of instrumental playing. He himself considers mastering social situations to be the epitome of cognitive and intellectual high performance, and regrets that Chua does not prefer to support her daughters in this area. Susan Dominus acknowledged that Chua had created a refreshingly new and emblematic type of parenting memoir : “Memoirs on parenting techniques that are just horrific enough to allow the reader to indulge in self-righteousness , but blended with knowledge that is wise and are timely enough to give the reader reason not to throw the book across the room. "

The proponents of an extreme parental laissez-faire form a counterpoint to Chua's position in the USA . B. the economist Bryan Caplan emerged.

German-speaking area

The German translation of the book was published on January 25, 2011, just two weeks later than the original edition. In the German-speaking countries, many of the factors that influenced the reception of the book in the United States are missing, so that the multi-dimensionality and political character that characterize the American discourse are also missing. The few Chinese who live in Germany, Austria and Switzerland do not form an independent public like in the USA; Foreigners are usually not perceived as overachievers; the Suzuki method, which is discussed in detail in the book, is also rarely used. In the place of the American performance and quality debate, there is a social discourse in German-speaking countries about the advantages and disadvantages of educational rigor, which goes back to the anti-authoritarian education movement of the 1960s and more recently through books such as Bernhard Buebs Lob der Discipline (2006) and Michael Winterhoffs Why Our Children Become Tyrants (2008) and press headlines z. B. around the Berlin elementary school teacher and politician Ursula Sarrazin was revived. Against this background, the book was received largely negatively in German-speaking countries, although the reviewers had hardly anything new to add to the arguments put forward by Chua's opponents in the United States. They unanimously found it harmful to encourage children to perform well or to force them to do things that they do not do of their own accord, and therefore regularly worried about the mental health of the Chua daughters. A few Chinese voices were heard among the critics. The only author who went beyond the purely pedagogical discourse was Tanja Dückers , who pointed out that the cause of social and economic problems is not the lack of willingness to perform on the part of the citizens but rather the failure of politics; Against this background, the discussion about Chua's book is pointless.

While Chua's acculturation in the USA is beyond any doubt - she reconciles work and family , lets her children celebrate Bat Mitzvah and raises them as cosmopolitans - Mark Siemons of the FAZ also accused her of “ refusing to integrate ”, a catchphrase that has been around since 2010 plays a role in the discourse of German domestic politics and is mainly applied to immigrants with a low level of education who show no efforts to learn German. Elsewhere, on the contrary, Chua was resented for behaving typically “American”. The interpretation that Chua does not advocate performance, but much more for “ discipline and order ” and an upbringing with the cane , can only be found in German-language reviews.

Approval for Chua's considerations is, where it takes place, often formulated very cautiously, for example with the Bonn political scientist and sociologist Christiane Florin , who could well imagine a little more success orientation in education, but notes that the flirtation “with the thought that a woman cleaning Mahlzahn in the cozy corners of the republic so that the little ones can achieve great things ” , which in Germany has only taken place“ clandestinely ”so far. Bernhard Bueb , who classifies Chua's demands as excessively exaggerated, but praised the attention and care she showed her children and pointed out the self-confidence she had conveyed to her daughters became a little clearer . The Danish family therapist Jesper Juul called Amy Chua “an excellent mother” in an interview with Die Zeit , because her parenting style is characterized by commitment and authenticity. However, he does not recommend imitating Chua's methods if one wants to have children who are mentally healthy and have strong personal and social skills.

expenditure

Original editions :

German translation :

  • Amy Chua: The mother of success. How I taught my kids to win. Translated from English by Barbara Schaden. 5th edition. Nagel & Kimche, 2011, ISBN 978-3-312-00470-6 .
  • Amy Chua: The mother of success. How I taught my kids to win. Audiobuch Verlag, 2011, ISBN 978-3-89964-417-3 (audio book, unabridged, read by Doris Walters)

See also

literature

Individual evidence

Unless otherwise noted, all references to Chua's book are to the original English edition.

  1. ↑ Getting into Harvard the Chinese way ; Jennifer Schuessler: Inside the List , New York Times, January 21, 2011; see. also Ann Hulbert: Re-education New York Times, April 1, 2007.
  2. ^ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 161.
  3. ^ Jed Rubenfeld Yale Law School; We Know About Tiger Mom, But Who Is TIGER DAD? Business Insider, Jan. 21, 2011.
  4. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 6-8, 16, 50, 183f.
  5. ^ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 4, 54.
  6. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 16f, 55.
  7. ↑ See the list of literature in the article Ruth K. Chao .
  8. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 225f.
  9. ↑ a b Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 63.
  10. ↑ a b Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 5.
  11. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 3.
  12. ↑ a b Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 12.
  13. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 98.
  14. ↑ a b Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 53.
  15. ^ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 3; on the other hand, when Sophia gives a concert at Carnegie Hall, she is allowed to invite her entire school year (p. 139).
  16. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 46, 77, 86f, 181f; see. also In the tigress' den Die Zeit, October 3, 2011.
  17. ↑ Ruth K. Chao: Beyond Authoritarianism: A Cultural Perspective on Asian American Parenting. Conference paper, Annual Meeting of the American Psychological Association, New York, NY, August 1995.
  18. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 8.
  19. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 8, 51f.
  20. ↑ Wendy Mogel: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children. Scribner, 2001, ISBN 0-684-86297-2 ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA ); Wendy Mogel's website ; So the Torah Is a Parenting Guide? Reviewed in the New York Times, October 1, 2006.
  21. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 62f.
  22. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 101.
  23. ^ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 148.
  24. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 148, 161f, 227.
  25. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 16.
  26. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 22f, 207.
  27. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 29.
  28. ^ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 9, 38–41, 43–45, 60
  29. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 26f.
  30. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 67, 88-92
  31. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 58f.
  32. ^ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, p. 67.
  33. ^ Wei-Yi Yang ( Memento from November 25, 2010 in the Internet Archive ) Yale School of Music
  34. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 121-129, 135f, 139-141
  35. ↑ Almita Vamos ( Memento of 26 December 2011 at the Internet Archive ) Northwestern University
  36. ^ Naoko Tanaka Steinhardt School at New York University
  37. ↑ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 110, 116-120, 130f, 134f, 141-143, 167f
  38. ^ Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, pp. 167-175, 179-184, 199f, 202-206, 209f, 212-214
  39. ↑ Ann Hulbert: Hear the Tiger Mother Roar , Slate, Jan. 11, 2011.
  40. ↑ Why Asian Mothers are Superior Wallstreet Journal, Jan. 8, 2011.
  41. ^ A b David Brooks: Amy Chua Is a Wimp New York Times, January 17, 2011.
  42. ↑ Do colleges redline Asian-Americans?
  43. ↑ Kate Zernike: Retreat of the 'Tiger Mother' New York Times, Jan. 14, 2011; Strict, Controversial Parenting Style Leads to Death Threats for 'Tiger Mother' Amy Chua ABC News, Jan 17, 2011; Besides red learning, add values ​​in child's education ( Memento from March 7, 2011 in the Internet Archive ) China Watch, The Washington Post, February 25, 2011.
  44. ↑ Tiger Moms: Is Tough Parenting Really the Answer? Time Magazine, Jan. 20, 2011.
  45. ↑ Bestsellers , New York Times, February 6, 2011.
  46. ↑ Janet Maslin : But Will It All Make 'Tiger Mom' Happy? , New York Times, January 19, 2011.
  47. ↑ Parents like Amy Chua are the reason why Asian-Americans like me are in therapy Website from Betty Ming Liu
  48. ^ Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld: Why I love my strict Chinese mom , New York Post, January 18, 2011.
  49. ^ Judith Warner: No More Mrs. Nice Mom , New York Times, Jan. 11, 2011.
  50. ^ Susan Dominus: Terrible Swift Tongue . In: New York Times. February 11, 2011; Elizabeth Chang judges similarly: Amy Chua's “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, on Chinese-American family culture . In: Washington Post. January 7, 2011.
  51. ↑ Bryan Caplan: Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think. Basic Books 2011, ISBN 978-0-465-01867-3 ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA ); Motoko Rich: Who Really Cares How Yuppies Raise Their Kids? New York Times, April 16, 2011.
  52. ↑ Amy Chua: Is Strictness the Mother of Success? Eltern.de, January 25, 2011.
  53. ^ Katja Irle: Das Muttermonster , Frankfurter Rundschau, January 27, 2011; Elisabeth von Thadden: Who is afraid of this woman? Die Zeit, January 27, 2011; Kim Kindermann: Soft toys and fire and no peeing , Deutschlandradio Kultur, January 29, 2011; Thomas Vieregge: Amy Chua: Mothers, "Monsters" and Machines , Die Presse, January 29, 2011; Michael Ostheimer: Does Amy Chuas, the mother of success, conjure up the struggle of educational cultures? , Goethe-Institut (China), February 2011; Angela Bachmair: Amy Chua: Learning from the tiger mother? Augsburger Allgemeine, September 26, 2011.
  54. ↑ Li Shuangzhi: Success versus Happiness? A Chinese self-reflection on the parenting debate ( Memento from January 4, 2014 in the Internet Archive ) , Goethe-Institut (China), March 2011.
  55. ↑ Tanja Dückers: The Political Becomes Private Die Zeit, February 2, 2011.
  56. ↑ Mark Siemons: Happiness is a mistake of the West , Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, January 28, 2011.
  57. ^ The Basic Law protects those who refuse to integrate , Welt online, September 7, 2010; Gabriel for sanctions in the event of refusal to integrate Der Tagesspiegel, September 20, 2010; Government checks measures in case of refusal to integrate Hamburger Abendblatt, October 16, 2010.
  58. ↑ How much drill does a child need? Neue Zürcher Zeitung online, January 31, 2011.
  59. ↑ Hannes Stein: America is intoxicated by brute parenting tips Welt online, January 24, 2011; Hannes Stein: The cane didn't hurt us back then either - we have Ms. Sarrazin, America has Amy Chua: On the end of cuddle education , Welt online, January 25, 2011; Daniel Schneider: The Return of the Cane ( Memento from November 26, 2011 in the Internet Archive ) , Celadoor, February 4, 2011.
  60. ^ Christiane Florin: Successful Republic of China , Christ & World, June 2011; see. also Andrea Köhler: tiger mom or raven mother? In_ Neue Zürcher Zeitung. online, September 27, 2011.
  61. ^ Bernhard Bueb - "Too many parents are conflict-shy" , Welt online, January 29, 2011.
  62. ↑ Is that asking too much? In: The time. October 27, 2011.
  63. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20120501031701/http://www.familylab.de/files/Artikel_PDFs/familylab-Artikel/Jesper_Juul_ueber_Tigermuetter.pdf