partnership

from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The degree of attachment and commitment is higher in a partnership than in a love affair. This couple has lost their home and are wondering what to do next

A partnership is understood as a simultaneously sexual and social community between two people. It is a frequently studied two-way relationship . As a modern generic term, the term has been used since the 1970s to describe all long-term sexual relationships, regardless of the legal form of the relationship and regardless of the sexual orientation and the household and living conditions of those involved. The term "partnership" can therefore include:

A partnership is sexually motivated at least in its origin, whereby the long-term development of the couple's sexuality is irrelevant as a definition criterion; the term can include sexually active couples as well as sexually inactive couples or couples in an open relationship . Life communities and life alliances of friends , siblings, etc. a., between which there is no sexual relationship, however, are not referred to as partnership. Pure sex relationships, on the other hand, do not meet the definition criteria for a partnership because there is no social solidarity here .

In a narrower sense, partnership also describes the self-commitment that two people, who meet on an equal footing, enter into in a permanent sexual relationship.

History of the partnership in the German-speaking area

The monogamy is by Christianity did not occur, but learned through this religion such a powerful moral grounds that they in the Western world has remained mission statement. Christianity already knows marriage as a Jewish tradition in the Gospel (e.g. John 2: 1–12 ), but it only became a sacrament under the influence of Augustine . In his treatise De bono coniugali , written around 400, Augustine determined not only procreation as the purpose of marriage , but also the "friendly sociability" of man and woman, i.e. H. Loyalty and trust ; he estimated their value so high that he considered marriage indissoluble. The ban on divorce, to which most Christian churches and especially the marriage law of the Catholic Church adhere to this day, was also based on the Gospel. In the Middle Ages , despite the idea of ​​marriage as a form of life willed by God, theologians developed the view that celibacy was an even higher institution.

Luther attacked celibacy in the 16th century and denied the sacramental character of marriage. In the event of adultery and malicious departure, he not only allowed a separation of table and bed, but even the possibility of remarriage for the innocent part. After marriage fell into the hands of the Protestant authorities, however, it was standardized more strictly than ever before; Illegitimate relationships and premarital and extramarital sexual relationships were criminalized and banned - a practice which the Catholic Church soon followed. As Heide Wunder demonstrated, the working worlds of women and men were, however, complementary and equal to one another in the early modern period ; a determination of the female contribution to a private domestic sphere separated from the economic world only began with the emergence of bourgeois society .

The civil marriage and with it the possibility of a divorce were in Germany, following the example of the French civil code introduced: in the French-occupied territories for the first time in 1798, in Bremen and Oldenburg in 1855, in Prussia in 1874. By 1875 came into force kingdom law on notarization of Civil status and marriage became binding throughout the German Reich . In Switzerland , a corresponding civil status law was also passed in 1875. Austria did not introduce compulsory civil marriage until 1938 under the National Socialist occupation .

The marriage law in Switzerland in the Civil Code and in Austria by the marriage law regulated. In Germany and the Federal Republic of Germany , it has been regulated by the Civil Code since it came into force in 1900 . This initially stipulated that the man was allowed to determine the place of residence and residence and to decide “in all matters relating to joint conjugal life”; The woman had - apart from certain personal reserved goods and provided no separation of property , community of property , achievement or car sharing had been agreed - had no property, was limited to the "domestic sphere of activity" and obliged to manage the common household, but could expect maintenance payments from the man . These provisions were gradually adapted to the changing understanding of the sexes. The " obedience paragraph " (§ 1354 BGB), which gave the man the last word in marital matters, was deleted without replacement in 1957, the new statutory property regime became the community of gains . With the law reforming marriage and family law passed in 1976, the definition of women to manage the household also fell.

In the middle of the 20th century, the equality of illegitimate partnerships with marital partnerships began in the Federal Republic of Germany, a process that took place in many individual steps and which began in 1957 with the amendment of the law on job placement and unemployment insurance (AVAVG); its revised section 149 stipulated that unemployment benefits not only include the income of a spouse but also the income of a partner with whom the unemployed person lives in a marriage-like community. Further stages were the “ illegitimate law ” of 1969, the reform of child rights of 1998 and the maintenance reform of 2008. In many areas, such as income tax , inheritance and adoption law , illegitimate and marital unions continue to be treated unequally. Couples can, however, share some insurance contracts without a marriage certificate or registered partnership.

The pressure exerted by society and the perceived pressure on heterosexual couples to get married if they wanted to form a household (and have a child or children) decreased continuously across Europe in the late 20th century. For example, in 1999 in Italy 9 percent of all children were born out of marriage, while in Sweden it was 55 percent. In the German-speaking countries, these quotas were 18 percent in the “old federal states” of Germany and 50 percent in the new ones (in Austria 30 percent). Conversely, there was a growing need among same-sex partners not only to be tolerated and recognized by society, but also to be able to enter into a marriage recognized by the state .

Same-sex marriage such as that seen in the early 21st century. B. was introduced in the Netherlands , Belgium and Spain , has been possible in Germany since 2017. In Switzerland in 2007 joined the Partnership Act and in Austria 2010, the Registered Partnership Act into force. The complete decriminalization of homosexuality took place in Switzerland in 1942, in Austria in 1971, in the GDR in 1988 and in the FRG in 1994.

Demography and Statistics

Germany

In 2009 there were around 18,312,000 married couples, around 2.6 million unmarried mixed-sex couples and a good 63,000 same-sex couples (37,000 gay and 27,000 lesbian couples) in Germany. Of the same-sex couples, around 23,000 (around 37%) had entered into a civil partnership .

Couples
Married Unmarried
number approx. 18.0 million approx. 2.6 million
level of education
Man higher 31% 22%
Woman higher 9% 14%
Age comparison
Man older 74% 68%
Woman older 16% 23%

In a 2009 microcensus, the Federal Statistical Office determined the following data on mixed-sex couples in Germany:

  • In 61% of the couples the partners have the same educational qualification, in 30% of the couples the man has a higher educational qualification.
  • In 73% of the couples the man is older than the woman, in 10% both partners are the same age.
  • 47% of couples have an age difference of less than four years; only 6% have an age difference greater than 10 years.
  • 87% of the couples are German-German couples, 7% are German-foreign couples.

The table on the right shows clear differences between married and unmarried couples.

Psychological perspective

The freedom of women and men to leave an unhappy partnership is something historically very new. De jure , it only emerged with civil marriage , and it only became generally accessible with the introduction of the disruption principle (in Germany 1976 with the 1st EheRG ). Economic, social or moral constraints that hold partnerships together like a corset from outside play a declining role in rich Western countries.

Factors of successful and failing partnerships

As Daniel Goleman has shown, the most important determinant of the success and stability of partnerships has become the emotional and social competence of those involved. Partnerships are only sustainable if the partners have sufficient emotional self-awareness , self-control , empathy and the ability to calm themselves and others down. Detailed empirical studies that confirm Goleman's assumptions were carried out by the psychologist John Gottman in the 1990s . In particular, Gottman was able to identify four poor communication habits (the " apocalyptic riders " for a partnership) of married couples that are powerful predictors of a later divorce:

  • Blame and indictments
  • Defense, self-justification and denial of own mistakes
  • Contempt and disdain for the partner
  • Walls, refusal to communicate and withdrawal

A 2009 study found that personal traits (e.g., self-esteem ) in women have a strong influence on relationships. This is not the case with men. For the existence of a long-term partnership, the similarity of values, attitudes, social class and level of education play a more important role than the similarity of character.

According to Gottman, when communicating between partners, five loving words are necessary to outweigh a common word. Otherwise there is a risk that a couple will get caught in a spiral of injuries.

In marriage counseling or couples therapy , couples with corresponding problems can learn and practice to communicate better with one another under professional guidance.

Partnership courses

Partner choice

Development phase

In couple relationships, the sociologist Karl Lenz differentiated between development phases, existing phases and crisis phases as well as dissolution phases, which by no means necessarily only occur in this order.

The American marriage therapist Liberty Kovacs, on the other hand, distinguishes six development phases of the partnership, of which the later ones are in many cases not reached:

  1. Enthusiasm: Both partners see each other as ideal, discover similarities, are ready to adjust to the other and to fulfill his wishes (“the main thing is to be with you”). Feelings in love and longing for closeness are in the foreground.

Satisfaction with and frequency of sex rises sharply in the first nine months and then falls again.

Inventory and crisis phases

  2. Expectations: Differences and weaknesses come to light. The partners take care of their interests again. Everyday duties come to the fore. The first feelings of disenchantment (or even disappointment) appear.

In a study by Stan Albrecht and Philip Kunz, 41% of the men and 57% of the women surveyed stated that the experience of their partnership was much worse than they had expected at the beginning of the partnership; 33% of the men and 27% of the women felt the experience was slightly worse ; only 20% of men and 11% of women described expectations and experience as somewhat congruent.

  2. Power struggle: At least one tries to change the other, to shape him according to his expectations. You may experience suspicion, anger, and / or blame.
  3. “Darn 7th year”: One or both partners feel constricted and feel an urge to give up the partnership.
  4. Finding reconciliation / arrangements and compromises: The partners come closer to each other again. They realize that the respective partner does not necessarily have to meet their own expectations 100 percent. They are willing to compromise and consider the relationship a give and take.
  5. Acceptance: Both partners have developed a balance between closeness and independence. They enjoy being together and accept each other for who they are.

The majority of the studies that deal with the change from couple to parent treat the child as a constant stress factor ("stress theory approach"). The reduction in the quality of partnership in the transition to parenthood has been confirmed by psychological research across cultures. The tender and erotic feelings for the partner fade, the male partner loses a lot of the attention and care that his partner had for him so far, and the quality time that remains for the partnership dwindles drastically. The couple's roles and tasks must be completely reorganized, which creates a considerable need for communication; if the couple lacks the time and energy to do this, tension and dysfunctional arguments increase. Problems arise especially when the male partner comes from a conflicted family; Men are more inclined than women to pass on dysfunctional patterns from their family of origin. However, many couples master the transition without major difficulties.

Dissolution phase and separation

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Partnerships end either through the separation or divorce of the partners, which can take place amicably or through unilateral "leaving", through coercive measures by third parties (e.g. an authority or a judge), or through the death of at least one of the partners. Scientists who have researched breakups include Loren Lee ( Harvard ), Steve Duck ( University of Iowa ), and Diane Vaughan ( Columbia University ).

Partnership as a commitment

The concept of “partnership” between man and woman appeared at the beginning of the 20th century and from then on gradually replaced the image of the woman as the companion of the man. It implies the idea that couples negotiate their responsibilities and roles individually. Occasionally, however, the expression also describes an egalitarian model in which women and men are gainfully employed to the same extent ( double career couple , double income no kids ) and also carry out housework and family work in equal parts.

health

Partnerships show statistically many correlations to the health status of the partners. People in permanent partnerships have a slightly higher body mass index (BMI) than singles. In one study, single men had an average BMI of 25.7 while married men had an average of 26.6. For women, the corresponding values ​​were 25.1 and 25.6. The rule applies not only to married couples, but also to couples living together. Married people stated that they rarely consume ready-made meals and pay less attention to the fat content of the products. Married men also do less sport than unmarried men.

A Californian study started in 1921, the Longevity Project , had shown that marriage "gives years of life" primarily to men . Other studies show that in people over 45 in particular, good health often coincides with being married by accident.

See also

literature

  • Horst Herrmann love relationships - life plans. A sociology of partnership. 4th edition. Telos-Verlag, Münster 2008, ISBN 978-3-933060-03-7 .
  • Peter Kaiser (ed.): Partnership and couple therapy. Hogrefe Verlag, Göttingen 2000, ISBN 3-8017-1258-3 .
  • Peter Kaiser: Transgenerational Interactions and Partnerships. In: Grau, I. & Bierhoff, HW (ed.): Social psychology of partnership. Springer Verlag, Berlin 2003, pages 111-136, ISBN 3-540-42928-X .
  • Karl Lenz : Sociology of the two-way relationship . An introduction. Westdeutscher Verlag, 1998, ISBN 3-531-13348-9 .
  • Christiane Sautter, Alexander Sautter: When the masks fall - couples on the way to us. Publishing house for systemic concepts, Wolfegg 2007, ISBN 978-3-9809936-3-0 .
  • Klaus Schmidt: Couple Relationship and Identity. A socio-educational look at reality and the meaning of life for two. IKS-Verlag Garamond, Jena 2006, ISBN 3-938203-31-5 ( Pedagogical Reform - PRe. 7 - Edition Paideia ).
  • Eberhard Straub : Fragile happiness. Love and Marriage through the Ages. wjs-Verlag, Berlin 2005, ISBN 3-937989-12-9 .
  • Dirk Wagner: Gay partnerships. A comparatively new form of relationship between acceptance, ambivalence and rejection. Diplomica Verlag, Hamburg 2014, ISBN 978-3-8428-7055-0 .
  • D. Zimmer: Sexuality and Partnership. Munich / Vienna 1985.

Web links

Wikiquote: Partnership  - Quotes
Wiktionary: Partnership  - explanations of meanings, word origins, synonyms, translations

Notes and individual references

  1. ^ Robert Jütte: Lust without burden . History of contraception. CH Beck, Munich 2003, ISBN 3-406-49430-7 , p. 48 . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA ); Claudia Köck: Church father Augustine and his time , episode 2: The upheaval through Christianity ( Memento from April 7, 2014 in the Internet Archive ), Würzburger Katholisches Sonntagsblatt, June 1, 2008
  2. ^ Gabriela Signori : From paradise marriage to community of property . Marriage in the medieval world of life and imagination. Campus, Frankfurt / M. 2011, ISBN 978-3-593-39429-9 , pp. 16 . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  3. ↑ Matthew 19: 3-9
  4. ^ Siegrid Westphal , Inken Schmidt-Voges, Anette Baumann : Venus and Vulcanus . Marriages and their conflicts in the early modern period. Oldenbourg, Munich 2011, ISBN 978-3-486-57912-3 , pp. 10 . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  5. ^ Westphal, Schmidt-Voges, Baumann (2011), p. 17f
  6. ↑ Heide Wunder: He is the sun, she is the moon . Women in the early modern period. CH Beck, Munich 1992, ISBN 3-406-36665-1 .
  7. ↑ Chronicle 1875
  8. ^ Stefan Ihli: Ecclesiastical jurisdiction in the Diocese of Rottenburg in the 19th century . Lit, Berlin 2008, ISBN 978-3-8258-1242-3 , pp. 40 . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  9. ↑ BGB (version from 1900) §§ 1354, 1356, 1357, 1360, 1363ff ( Memento from January 29, 2013 in the Internet Archive )
  10. ^ Eva Marie von Münch: Housewife marriage abolished Die Zeit, October 15, 1976
  11. ↑ Constitutional review of Section 149 (5) of the Law on Employment Placement and Unemployment Insurance
  12. ↑ Entitlement to maintenance of illegitimate mothers and fathers
  13. ↑ Insure together even without a wedding  ( page no longer available , search in web archives ), last accessed on May 27, 2016.@1@ 2Template: Toter Link / www.zdf.de
  14. ↑ Michaela Kreyenfeld / Dirk Konietzka: New family forms in the conservative welfare state? Marriage, Starting a Family, and Lifestyles in East and West Germany: An Analysis of the Microcensuses 1996 and 2000 . Leibniz Institute for Social Sciences. Mannheim / Cologne. October 8, 2003. p. 9.
  15. ↑ The age of consent was adjusted from 20 to 16 years, i.e. corresponding to the age of consent for heterosexual acts, in Switzerland, however, only in 1990.
  16. ↑ In 2010 the number of married couples was around 18,170,000; Couples in Germany: Equal and equal like to join Destatis, October 5, 2010; Number of married couples with and without children in Germany since 1996
  17. ↑ Around 23,000 registered civil partnerships throughout Germany
  18. ^ Couples in Germany: Equal and equal like to join Destatis, October 5, 2010.
  19. ↑ Emotional Intelligence . Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. 1st edition. Bantam, New York 1995, ISBN 0-553-09503-X , pp. 129 f., 140 .
  20. ↑ How self-esteem affects relationships . Self-confidence website. Retrieved September 17, 2014.
  21. ↑ a b c Jana Simon: Partnership: A life with you . In: The time . December 23, 2015, ISSN  0044-2070 ( zeit.de [accessed July 26, 2019]).
  22. ↑ Lenz (1998)
  23. ↑ Doris Wolf : Phases of long-term partnerships In: Partnerschaft-Beziehung.de .
  24. ^ Stan L. Albrecht, Philip R. Kunz: The decision of divorce . A social exchange perspective. In: Journal of Divorce . tape 3 , 1980, p. 319-337 .
  25. ^ Johanna Graf: When couples become parents . BeltzPVU, Weinheim 2002, ISBN 978-3-621-27743-3 , p. 59 . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA ); Example: CP Cowan, PA Cowan: When Couples Become Parents . The great change in the couple's life. Piper, Munich 1994, p. 154 .
  26. ↑ Muna El-Giamal: Changes in partnership satisfaction and stress management during the transition to parenthood . A current literature review. In: Psychology in Education and Teaching . tape 44 , 1997, pp. 256-275 . ; H. Nickel: Transition to Parenthood, Family Development and Generativity in Three Continents . An intercultural research project. In: Barbara Reichle, Harald Werneck (Hrsg.): Transition to parenthood . Current studies on coping with an underestimated life event. Enke, Stuttgart 1999, p. 55-75 . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  27. ↑ J. Belsky, ME Lang, M. Rovine: Stability and change in marriage across the transition to parenthood . A second study. In: Journal of Marriage and the Family . tape 47 , 1985, pp. 855‒865 . ; Klaus Schneewind , LA Vaskovics, u. a .: Options for shaping the life of young marriages and desire for children . Kohlhammer, 1992 .; A. Engfer, M. Gavranidou, L. Heinig: Changes in marriage and partnership after the birth of children . Results of a longitudinal study. In: behavior modification and behavioral medicine . tape 9 , no. 4 , 1988, pp. 279-311 . ; Gabriele Sabine Gloger-Tippelt, Matthias Huerkamp: Relationship Change at the Transition of Parenthood and Security of Infant-Mother Attachment . In: International Journal of Behavioral Development . tape 22 , no. 3 , 1998, p. 633-655 .
  28. ^ R. Levy-Shiff: Individual and contextual correlates of marital change across the transition to parenthood . In: Developmental Psychology . tape 30 , 1994, pp. 591-601 .
  29. ↑ Muna El-Giamal: When a couple becomes a family . Everyday life, stress and stress coping with the first child. Huber, 1999, ISBN 978-3-456-83337-8 .
  30. ↑ S. Jurgan, G. Gloger-Tippelt, K. Ruge: changes in the parental partnership in the first 5 years of parenthood . In: Barbara Reichle, Harald Werneck (Hrsg.): Transition to parenthood . Current studies on coping with an underestimated life event. Enke, Stuttgart 1999, p. 55-75 . ; B. Kalicki, G. Peitz, WE Fthenakis, A. Engfer: Constellations of fit and adaptation processes in the transition to parenthood . In: Barbara Reichle, Harald Werneck (Hrsg.): Transition to parenthood . Current studies on coping with an underestimated life event. Enke, Stuttgart 1999, p. 55-75 . ; H. Werneck, B. Rollett: The Viennese longitudinal study "Family development in the life course (FIL)" . Selected findings and implications. In: Barbara Reichle, Harald Werneck (Hrsg.): Transition to parenthood . Current studies on coping with an underestimated life event. Enke, Stuttgart 1999, p. 55-75 . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  31. ^ CP Cowan, PA Cowan: When Couples Become Parents . The great change in the couple's life. Piper, Munich 1994, p. 154 .
  32. ^ MA White, ME Wilson, G. Elander, B. Persson: The Swedish family . Transition to parenthood. In: Scandinavian Journal of Caring Sciences . tape 13 , 1999, p. 171-176 .
  33. ↑ Sequences in Separation: A Framework for Investigating Endings of the Personal (Romantic) Relationship ( Memento of August 24, 2011 in the Internet Archive )
  34. ↑ Steve Duck
  35. ↑ Diane Vaughan
  36. ↑ Example: David Rauter : About happiness and the new person . Basic principles for a new way of life. R. Wöpke, Leipzig 1903.
  37. ^ Evelyn Millis Duvall, Brent C. Miller: Marriage and family development . 5th edition. Lippincott, New York 1977.
  38. ↑ For example: Florian Schulz, Hans Peter Blossfeld: How does the domestic division of labor change over the course of the marriage . A longitudinal study of the first 14 years of marriage in West Germany. In: Cologne journal for sociology and social psychology . tape 58 , no. 1 , 2006, p. 23-49 .
  39. ↑ a b c d Müller-Lisner, A. (2015) Two kilos more than a single . Tagesspiegel / Zeit Online, July 7, 2015
  40. ↑ Jutta Mata, Ronald Frank, Ralph Hertwig: Higher body mass index, less exercise, but healthier eating in married adults: Nine representative surveys across Europe. In: Social Science & Medicine. 138, 2015, p. 119, doi: 10.1016 / j.socscimed.2015.06.001 .