Mr. Burns

Template:Simpsons character Charles Montgomery Burns, normally referred to as Mr. Burns or "Monty" Burns (and occasionally as C. Montgomery Burns or even "Burnsie"), is a fictional character on The Simpsons, voiced by Harry Shearer and previously Christopher Collins. He is the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and Homer Simpson's boss and often nemesis. He is attended to at almost all times by Waylon Smithers, his loyal and sycophantic aide, advisor, confidant and secret admirer. Mr. Burns is Springfield's richest and most powerful citizen; Forbes estimates his net worth at $16.8 billion , making him second only to Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks on the Forbes Fictional Fifteen list. He uses his power and wealth to do routinely what he wants without thinking of consequences or interference from the authorities. These qualities led Wizard Magazine to rate him the 45th greatest villain of all time.

Although originally designed as a one-dimensional recurring villain who might occasionally enter the Simpsons' lives and wreak some sort of havoc, Burns' popularity has led to his repeated inclusion on the show. He embodies a number of characteristics about Corporate America, as he has an unquenchable desire to increase his own wealth and power. Mr. Burns also embodies the stereotype of a manager: he forgets his employees' names (especially Homer Simpson, despite the fact that they seem to interact on a daily basis) and is unconcerned for their safety and well-being. His age provides the writers a character with which to express dated humor and references to popular culture before the 1950s. His aspirations to apply obsolete technology to everyday life or references to Victorian era people or places provide a common source of humor on the show. Kent Brockman also credits Mr. Burns with having stolen Christmas from 1981 to 1985. Recently he has become less evil and more eccentric.

His trademark expression is the word "Excellent", muttered slowly in a low, sinister voice while tenting his fingertips.

Age

Mr. Burns's age has fluctuated during the course of the show, being explicitly stated he was just over the age of 81 in Simpson and Delilah and as old as 104 in Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part I, Homer the Smithers and A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love. In the episode Fraudcast News, originally aired in 2004, Burns claims that he was born in 1881 making him 126 years old. He is occasionally referred to as "Springfield's oldest resident" with a social security number of 000-00-0002 (and bitter toward Franklin D. Roosevelt for taking 000-00-0001). In one episode, he is shown as a young man serving as a private in Abe Simpson's World War II army platoon.

Frequent allusions to Burns' age place his date of birth in the late 19th century, which would make him at the least over a hundred years old. He had a drivers' license which expired in 1909, he graduated from Yale University in 1914, and was depicted in a 19th century Woodcut terrorizing children (which surprisingly, features him as an old man).

Other references to Burns' age place him at thousands or millions of years old. His ATM password, which is the same as his age, is four digits long (although it is possible the first and/or second digits digit are 0). Burns birthplace has also been named as Pangaea in the episode "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story".

Biography

The Burns family has deep roots in the United States. Mr. Burns' adoptive great-grandfather Franklin Jefferson Burns participated in the Boston Tea Party. Mr. Burns had a strained relationship with his own mother, who had an affair with President Taft and lives in her 120s.

As a child, Burns lived happily in a northern state of the US with his natural parents, Louis and Dorothy (Bluth) Birnbaum, one of 12 children, including younger brother George, and teddy bear Bobo. In one episode he was asked the cause of his parents' deaths and he replied: "They got in my way". His mother was seen in the season 7 episode "Homer the Smithers".

At a young age he left his family to live with a twisted and heartless billionaire (who was actually his grandfather), who owned an "atom mill" in Springfield, where laborers split atoms by hitting anvils with sledgehammers. Burns lived a life of privilege and would amuse himself by injuring hapless immigrant laborers. Mr. Burns later attended Yale University, where he studied science and business, played on the varsity football team, and was inducted into the Skull and Bones secret society. Burns graduated from Yale in 1914.

In 1939, at Burns' 25-year college reunion, he became romantically involved with the daughter of an old flame. She would later bear his child, Larry, who was given up for adoption and would later enter Mr. Burns' life briefly.

Burns served in the United States Army during World War II, holding the rank of private after being demoted for his involvement in a romantic scandal and attempting to block a probe from J. Edgar Hoover, possibly investigating the fact that he was secretly manufacturing shells for the Nazis. This last part is something he is proud of, seeing himself as being a superior person than Oskar Schindler because "my shells worked, dammit!".

A member of Springfield's Flying Hellfish squad battalion, he saw action in the Ardennes during the Battle of the Bulge, serving under Sergeant Abraham Simpson. He was later transferred to the South Pacific with part of his squad. During the closing years of the war, when his platoon was clearing out a German-occupied castle, Mr. Burns came across several valuable portraits. Since they couldn't decide on who they should go to, they decided to enter into a tontine, which Mr. Burns was removed from after being dishonorably discharged.

At the end of World War II he was personally hired by President Harry S Truman to transport a specially-printed trillion-dollar bill to Europe as the United States' contribution to the reconstruction of Europe. As the United States' richest citizen, Burns was thought to be also the most trustworthy, even though almost everyone hates him for one reason or another. Burns absconded with the bill and kept it in his possession for many years until it was lost to Fidel Castro in the episode The Trouble with Trillions.

During the 1960s, Burns operated a biological weapons laboratory until it was destroyed by peace activists - including Homer's mother Mona Simpson.

In the 1970s, Burns built the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Burns currently owns the plant, although he has parted with it several times, including when he sold it to German investors, when the bank foreclosed on it and put Lenny in charge, when he lost all of his money in a bet with Colonel O'Hara, and when Homer and Bart staged a hostile takeover of it. In each of these instances, Burns regained ownership of the nuclear plant.

At the nuclear plant, Burns spends most of time in his office, monitoring his workers via closed circuit cameras. In his office he keeps a team of ten high-priced lawyers, a scale model of Springfield, a special microbe-resistant chamber, a two-seat escape pod, and the "League of Evil" - a sinister cabal whose members are long deceased but whose skeletons remain. The boobytraps in Burns' office include cricket poison, a secret trapdoor, a catapult that fires 100 gram weights, and a ceiling-mounted suction tube which he can use to transport dissident workers to Morocco. He is also a loan officer at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Employee's Credit Union.

Burns has also owned or co-owned a number of business ventures in Springfield, including the Monty Burns Casino, "Li'l Lisa" recycling, an ocean slurry manufacturing plant, Burns Slant Drilling Co., Burns Media, the electric company, the water works, and a hotel on Baltic Avenue.

Burns has used his power and wealth to blackmail and bribe various members of Springfield, including Mayor Quimby, as well as safety inspectors. He once attempted to block out the sun to force Springfield residents to increase their use of electricity produced by the Nuclear Plant and was subsequently shot by Maggie; Homer Simpson has claimed to have been the one who shot Burns and framed Maggie for the crime, though he was lying. . The town routinely is subject to Burns' abuse, such as Burns' stealing of Christmas from 1981 to 1985 and there is a general dislike of him throughout the town.

Burns resides in a vast, ornate mansion on an immense estate called Burns Manor, located at 1000 Mammon Street, on the corner of Croesus and Mammon streets in the 'Springfield Heights' district. It is protected by a high wall, an electrified fence, and a pack of vicious attack dogs known as "The Hounds" one; of whom is named Winston. In addition he has at least one 30+ yr old dog named Hitler. Hitler is known for bagging hippies - something they don't find too groovy at all. At times he has employed for protection a force of Wizard of Oz - style guards, a personal paramilitary force, a riot police squad, and a robotic Richard Simmons.

The inside of the mansion includes a room containing a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, a bottomless pit, a human chess board, the largest television in the free world, a 'Hall of Patriots' commemorating his ancestors, a laboratory, a botanical garden of vultures bearing his likeness, a safe containing a Beefeater guard, and a theater showing round-the-clock plays regardless of whether there is an audience.

The mansion is also home to many rare historical artifacts including the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in, King Arthur's mythical sword Excalibur, and a rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it.

Burns has been engaged at least three times: a woman named Gertrude who died of loneliness and rabies, to Jacqueline Bouvier, and to a policewoman named Gloria. He once had an affair with Countess von Zeppelin.

A running gag on the Show is Mr Burns dealing with Satan; one cameo has Burns selling his soul for a fortune and eternal life (but not eternal youth). Another cameo has Smithers remarking how the "Prince of Darkness" has an appointment with Burns, and in a final cameo in a Treehouse of Horror episode, Mr Burns turns down Smithers idea to ask Satan for help, as his wife had a screenplay.

Organizations

Mr. Burns is a member of various organizations. In his younger years, while a student at Yale University, he was a member of Skull and Bones. During World War II, Burns became a member of the Flying Hellfish squad, a group of soldiers who entered into a tontine regarding the ownership of German artwork. Burns was a member of the Stonecutters until it disbanded, at which time he joined the secret society that succeeded it: the Ancient Mystic Order of No-Homers. {One source of dislike of Burns for the "Stonecutters' is that despite his wealth and greed, he is outranked by Lenny!}. He is currently the head of the Springfield Republican Party and the Burns Religion. He is also a member of the "Excluders Club", the Springfield Golf and Country Club, and the National Rifle Association . He holds a chair (a demonic throne with snarling dogs chained to it) at Springfield University and controls an anti-democratic paramilitary force in Latin America. In a spoof of Citizen Kane, he once tried to run for Governor - until Marge Simpson forever ruined his chances with a three-eyed fish. At the end he echoes Kane by crying out his name in rage--and vows for the rest of his life to make Homer Simpson's life miserable.

State of mind

Burns' state of mind is the subject of frequent jokes on the show. At times, he appears to be completely removed from modern conventions and, sometimes, reality. He continually fails to recognize Homer Simpson or remember his name despite all the major events in Burns' life on the series have revolved around him in some way. Burns is also for the most part unaware of the townspeople's general dislike of him.

Mr. Burns uses archaic phrases and antiquated expressions that have either changed meanings or fallen out of common usage in American English, including score (meaning 20), twain (two), post-haste (quickly), petroleum distillate (gasoline), gay (jolly), dean (principal), velocitator and deceleratrix (a car's accelerator and brake), aeromail (post by air), lollygagger (slacker), fourth form (fourth grade), ahoy-hoy (hello), jumping box and picto-tube (television), Autogyro (helicopter), DictaBelt (dictation machine), the New York Nine (New York Yankees), horseless sleigh (snowmobile, although it could just mean that he was trying to be a mysterious character), crackleberries (peanuts), talkie (movies with sound), thrice (three times), and mater (mother). He also answers the telephone in the same way that the man widely credited for the Invention of the Telephone, Alexander Graham Bell, is purported to have answered it ('Ahoy, Hoy?'). In one episode he also rings Smithers and says "Smithers, come here, I want you.", a take on what are reputedly the first words spoken by Alexander Graham Bell on his telephone ("Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you").

He also displays mannerisms which are considered outdated, such as practicing phrenology, writing with a quill pen, driving a Stutz Bearcat while wearing a Edwardian motorist's outfit which includes hat, driving gloves, and goggles, carrying a mace for self defense (though the weapon actually shown was a flail), driving without regard to traffic laws in the manner of early 20th century motorists, and using an antique view camera to take photographs.

Burns appears unaware of 20th century political and social developments, such as Fidel Castro replacing Fulgencio Batista as the President of Cuba, Siam changing its name to Thailand, the Belgian Congo changing its name to the Congo-Kinshasa, Prussia being absorbed into the German Empire, India gaining its independence from the British Empire, New Mexico entering the United States, the Wall Street Crash of 1929, Idlewild Airport changing its name to JFK Airport, the disbanding of the Negro Leagues, the desegregation of the Major Leagues, Joe DiMaggio no longer being a rookie, the extinction of the dodo, the demolition of the Polo Grounds, the ceasing of publication of Collier's Weekly, the demise of the DuMont Television Network, believing tires need to be revulcanized, confusing The Ramones with The Rolling Stones ("have the Rolling Stones killed"), thinking cars are still operated by levers, believing mail may still be delivered by autogyro (once asking for a package to be delivered by autogyro to the Prussian Embassy in Siam), and the occurrence of the 1939 World's Fair.

Mr. Burns' investment portfolio includes long-defunct shares in "Confederated Slaveholdings, Transatlantic Zeppelin, Amalgamated Spats, Congreve's Inflammable Powder, U.S. Hay", and an "up-and-coming Baltimore Opera Hat Company".

Burns commonly refers to deceased persons as if they were alive, including Al Jolson, Tallulah Bankhead, Louise Brooks, Honus Wagner, Cap Anson, and Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown.

He also believes some social institutions and inventions are novel or nonexistent, such as musicals about "the common cat" and "the King of Siam", the Packard automobile, the Fire Department, ice cream (or "iced cream"), vending machines, recycling, strip clubs, the DuMont, the word "into", silent films like the 1929 Lulu, and the synonymity of ketchup and catsup. While trying to chat up a young woman, Burns offers to play the clavichord and show stereopticon images of the Crimean War.

Nonetheless, there are many instances where Burns also displays a clear knowledge of recent events: Citing the films Bugsy and Working Girl as examples when making a movie to gloss over his evil rise to power; being inspired by the movie Sliver to have hidden cameras installed in every home in Springfield; meeting Elvis Presley and regaling Smithers with his impression of the famous singer; enjoying Ziggy comics; playing golf with Richard Nixon, who fretted to Burns about going to prison over the exposure of the Watergate scandal; recalling the prisoner abuse scandal at Abu Ghraib in a "we-can-do-it-better" context; personally knowing Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan, who along with George H. W. Bush tried to attend Burns' birthday party (Carter and Bush were denied admittance for being "one-termers"); and recalling watching the Beatles' breakthrough performance on the Ed Sullivan Show, dismissing it as "off-key caterwauling". He also has a dislike for Elvis Presley and claims Tallulah Brockman Bankhead has more sex appeal with one raised eyebrow than "Modern movies".

Health

Burns has numerous physical ailments and health problems, often to the point where he seems to straddle the line between life and death. On prior occasions, Burns may have died. Presently, Burns has a condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome" where a delicate state of homeostasis is created by the presence in his body of every known disease and other newly-discovered diseases unique to him, which, when all trying to invade his body simultaneously, cancel out each other. Mr. Burns took this as being invincible, although the doctor who told him this suggested that the slightest breeze could kill him.

Physically weak, he often has great difficulty performing the most basic physical tasks, such as giving a thumbs-up, receiving a hug, crushing a paper cup, or stepping on an insect. He is weak enough to be pushed over by an ant or a high-five, or pushed down by a sponge scrub on his head. Bunting a baseball sends him flying to the backstop. The weight of Toothpaste on his Toothbrush is enough to pull him over. He has a hunched back and his vertebral column is visible when he is viewed from the side. His exposure to radiation has given his skin a green glow (though seen in only one episode) and left him infertile. Once a 1000 dollar bill bruised him leaving a reverse imprint of Grover Cleveland on his chest.

His organs have grown immensely weak over the years. His heart is black, desiccated, and barely beats or does not beat at all. It is shrunken to the size of a cherry. Burns' blood type is double-O negative. When his finger is pricked, he bleeds dust, and when his arm is poked with a needle, the needle passes through his arm. On one occasion, a chunk of Burns' brain fell out through his ear. Another time, his lungs came out through his mouth and acted like an airbag. On another occasion, he indicated in an off-hand manner that he only has a single lung. If he is not careful, fluid can build up in his hands, causing them to swell to enormous proportions, and his fingers have been shown to flap in the breeze released from a bowling ball dispenser. It has been revealed that if Burns sweats even one drop, he could die of dehydration unless he takes a bath immediately. Burns has also lost body parts due to leprosy (one example is when he lost an entire fingernail in a cup). Both his legs have a crease in them, down the entire length.

Mr. Burns' medical treatment includes a weekly procedure which includes chiropractics, a vocal chord scraping, and an injection of pain-killers; its purpose is to postpone his death for one week. This makes his eyeballs grow to an unnatural size, and he becomes temporarily 'nice'. He also glows green, a result of working in a nuclear plant for ages. This causes Homer to mistake him for an alien in one episode, though no one believes him, thinking him to have been drunk (he drank about ten bottles of a new type of beer, 'Red Tick Beer' made out of beer and dog fleas). At the end of the episode, Lisa tries to prove that Burns is not an alien, pointing a flashlight at him. This reveals him in his 'nice' form leading the townspeople to believe that he is a monster, but before they can kill him, Smithers rushes in and explains that it is really Mr Burns. He also has his brain flushed out with vinegar and his eyes "re-balled". Burns' knees are also sent out to be repaired at a "shop." His dentures replace themselves. In the future, Burns may be kept alive by cryonics.

On rare occasions he has displayed great strength and skill, such as when he managed to capture Nessie (though it was never explained how he did so) and when he rescued his girlfriend Gloria from a burning building (although she wound up carrying him out of the blaze).

Creation

File:Fred.olsen.and.mr.burns.jpg

A comparison of Fred Olsen and Mr. Burns.

Matt Groening principally based Burns on Fredrik Olsen, a reclusive Norwegian shipping magnate and owner of Timex. Groening made Burns an "embodiment of corporate greed" and drew further inspiration for the character from oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller and Henry Potter from It's a Wonderful Life. Burns's appearance was modeled on Fox founder Barry Diller, and his physical movement style came from a praying mantis. His name came from the Montgomery Park sign atop a former Montgomery Ward high-rise department store in Portland, Oregon's Northwest Industrial district. Near it, there was a famous log cabin that burned down during Groening's childhood, giving the name "Montgomery Burns". Burns's first name being Charles was a reference to Citizen Kane character Charles Foster Kane.

See also

• Springfield Nuclear Power Plant
• Waylon Smithers

External links

• Maxim Mr. Burns Interview