It Ain't Half Hot Mum

It Ain't Half Hot Mum
Title card of Series 1 and Series 2
Created by	Jimmy Perry & David Croft
Written by	Jimmy Perry & David Croft
Directed by	David Croft Graeme Muir Bob Spiers Ray Butt Paul Bishop John Kilby
Starring	Windsor Davies Michael Bates Melvyn Hayes Don Estelle Donald Hewlett Michael Knowles
Opening theme	Meet the Gang
Ending theme	Land of Hope and Glory
Country of origin	UK
No. of episodes	56
Production
Producers	David Croft Graeme Muir
Running time	30 minutes
Original release
Network	BBC
Release	3rd January 1974 – 3rd September 1981

It Ain't Half Hot Mum was a British sitcom about the adventures of a Royal Artillery Concert Party, broadcast between 1974 and 1981, and written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft, the creators of Dad's Army. It was set in British India and Burma, towards the end of the Second World War.

Situation

The first four series of It Ain't Half Hot Mum were set at the Royal Artillery Depot Deolali, a place where British soldiers stayed before being posted up the jungle. The Royal Artillery Concert Party, consisting of several soldiers who would rather sing, dance and dress up as women than fight, are stationed permanently in Deolali to keep the troops entertained. In the first episode of the fifth series, the concert party are posted up the jungle, and from then on It Ain't Half Hot Mum is set in Tin Min, Burma close to the front line.

The scenario of the series is similar to the Peter Nichols play and film Privates on Parade. Deolali is pronounced "doolally"; this is widely believed to be a pun on the term for insanity, but it is in fact a real place and actually the source of the term.

Some people have perceived the casting of the caucasian-seeming actor Michael Bates, as the Indian bearer, Rangi Ram, as an example of the crude racial characterisation known as blackface. This may have resulted in the programme being repeated infrequently on British television. In fact the Anglo-Indian Bates was born in India, and spoke Hindustani before learning English. Strange as it may seem now, in 1970s Britain he was the only experienced actor available who was both fluent in several Indian languages and familiar with Indian culture. His make up, costume and characterisation can be interpreted as comic-realism rather than crude stereotyping.

Cast

Character	Actor	Catchphrase
Battery Sergeant Major Tudor Brynne 'Shut Up' Williams	Windsor Davies	"Shut up!" / "You is a bunch of poofs." / "Mr la-di-dah Gunner Graham" / "Lovely Boy" / "Oh dear. How sad. Never mind"
Bearer Rangi Ram	Michael Bates (Deceased)	"Oh, blimey!" / "Oh, my godfathers!" / "There is an old Hindu proverb which say..." / "We British... / These damn natives..."
Gunner/Bombardier 'Gloria' Beaumont	Melvyn Hayes	"I'm a sensitive artist! How am I supposed to live in this green hell?! I can't stand it! My nerves won't stand it!"
Gunner 'Lofty' Harold Sugden	Don Estelle (Deceased)	"Yes, Sergeant Major."
Lieutenant-Colonel Charles Reynolds	Donald Hewlett	"Don't be such a silly arse, Ashwood." / "Oh, Daphne!" / "(I shan't forget this), Gunner...er..."
Captain Jonathan Tarquin Ashwood	Michael Knowles	"Oh, I am sorry, I am a fool." / "Carry on, chaps."/ "I'm afraid that's rather a tricky one, sir."
Gunner 'Parky' Nigel Parkins	Christopher Mitchell (Deceased)	"It ain't half hot, mum."
Gunner 'Paderewski' Jonathan Graham	John Clegg	"Oh well, bang goes that theory."
Gunner 'Atlas' Mackintosh	Stuart McGugan	"Drinks a lot, does he?"
Char Wallah Muhammed	Dino Shafeek (Deceased)	"Char wallah, garam chai..."
Punkah Wallah Rumzan	Babar Bhatti	Always speaks Urdu and adds a few English words at the end, like "...one of those days!"
Gunner 'Nobby' Clark	Kenneth MacDonald (Deceased)
Gunner 'Nosher' Evans	Mike Kinsey	"It's good grub!"
Bombardier 'Solly' Solomons	George Layton
Ah Syn, the Chinese cook	Andy Ho (Deceased)

Main characters

Sergeant Major Tudor Brynne "Shut Up" Williams is the only real, professional soldier among the concert party and its officers. He is somewhat bigoted in his views, making every effort to bully the Indian camp staff and remind everyone of English supremacy in India. He seems to have only one goal in life, namely to get his soldiers posted up the jungle as fast as he can. He is disgusted by the fact that his soldiers prance about on the stage wearing dresses and make-up all the time, and frequently calls them a "bunch of poofs". He dislikes all members of the concert party equally, but has a particular loathing for Gunner "Lah-De-Dah" Graham, owing to his university education, although Williams will praise Graham for it if it serves his purposes.

Rangi Ram, the concert party's native bearer, is very proud to be of service to the army. He feels so connected to them that he often talks about "we British". The Sergeant Major shouts at him more than at anyone else, but Rangi is also the one he confides in when he wants to talk about problems. Rangi often provides the audience with an "old Hindu proverb" at the end of the episode, such as "There is an old Hindu proverb which say that house with red lamp over door is not always headquarters of Communist Party". He is a particularly devious individual, who can often manipulate the situation for his own ends (usually money), and although often displays that he considers himself British, will show very divided loyalty when his Indian aspect is under threat - when asked to burn the Indian flag by the Sergeant Major, he refused.

Gunner (later Bombardier) 'Gloria' Beaumont is a very effeminate person who cannot handle the violence, heat and mosquitoes of army life in India too well. He considers himself an artiste, and doesn't believe he should be in the Army, often trying to emphasize his show-business angle and ignore the "soldier" parts of his job. He has a passion for showbusiness and always dresses up as famous filmstars during the concert party shows, especially as Ginger Rogers.

Gunner 'Lofty' Sugden is a soldier whose appearance can be summarized by means of quoting the Sergeant Major: "Is it a mushroom? No. Is it a soldier? No. It's Gunner Sugden." Lofty is the tiny, rotund lead singer of the concert party, and has an amazing tenor voice which even the Sergeant Major cannot resist when he sings. Unfortunately, he is always picked out by the Sergeant Major as a "volunteer" when there is a particularly nasty or dangerous task to be carried out.

Lieutenant-Colonel Charles Reynolds is the leader of the concert party and enjoys their shows immensely. He thinks army life in India is very hard, while all he does is sit around sipping pink gin and dining with the elite. He is having an affair with Daphne Waddilove-Evans, whose husband, Major Waddilove-Evans, has left for the Punjab. He is the stereotypical British Army Officer, very stiff upper lip and prim and proper. Captain Ashwood's utter stupidity does occasionally infuriate him, but he is effectively good-natured and tries to avoid leaving the easy life he has at any cost.

Captain Jonathan Ashwood is an even bigger fan of the concert party than Colonel Reynolds, especially when they dress up as girls. He is not very bright, and often unknowingly ruins other people's plans, especially the Sergeant Major's. He occasionally writes skits for the concert party, which they reluctantly accept, as they are, on the whole, absolutely awful. He has absolutely no military bearing in him, which makes it very easy for the Sergeant Major and the others to manipulate him into using his authority to achieve their own ends.

Gunner 'Parky' Parkins is the youngest member of the concert party and has tried everything to become part of them, including being a ventriloquist, comedian, and singer, although he is very clumsy and never does anything right. The Sergeant Major has reason to believe that Parkins is his son, which is why he treats him much better than he treats the others, and keeps telling him he has "a fine pair of shoulders". Parkins references the show's title in the first ever episode when he signs off a letter to his mother with the words "I've been in India now two weeks, and it ain't half hot, Mum."

Gunner 'Paderewski' Graham is the concert party's pianist. He has a university degree in English literature and is very smart, speaking with a very upper class accent, which is why the Sergeant Major always mockingly repeats what he says. Graham often has difficult and ingenious plans to solve the concert party's problems, but these plans never seem to work and often result in his saying "oh well, bang goes that theory". The others (even the Sergeant Major and the Officers) often rely on his intelligence to get them out of awkward situations.

Gunner 'Atlas' Mackintosh does the strong man act in the show, which involves tearing telephone directories in half. He is rather short-tempered, especially when Beaumont calls him a "great, big, butch, hairy haggis". He is very masculine, and is a bit of a contradiction to what Beaumont thinks is right for the concert party. Nevertheless, Mackintosh always tries his best and copes with what is given to him.

Muhammed the char wallah walks around the camp all day, selling tea from his kettle. We can also hear him sing the musical interruptions between the scenes, which are mostly popular American hits, accompanied by a sitar. At the end of the credits he starts to sing "Land of hope and Glory" only to be interrupted by the Sergeant-major shouting "SHUTUPPP!!!". He became the bearer when Rangi Ram left the series (Michael Bates died after Series 6).

Rumzan the punkah wallah always sits outside the officers' quarters, pulling a string that is attached to a large fan indoors. He comments on everything in Urdu, and always adds a few words in English at the end. Rangi often tells him to "sit up straight while you are punkah-ing" and not to "be such Clever Dickie". He is far more intelligent than the others give him credit, and much of what he observes early on is often borne out in the end, but no-one notices.

Gunner 'Nobby' Clark does a whistling act in the show, and can do excellent bird impersonation. He is not particularly clever, and often makes nonsense comments or observations about situations they find themselves in.

Gunner 'Nosher' Evans does a paper tearing act. He is always eating something (and once stayed on punishment in the Canteen four hours after he was relieved as he was enjoying himself) resulting in him spraying the contents of his mouth all around him when he speaks.

Bombardier 'Solly' Solomons is a Jewish showbizz man who always plays the male leads in the concert party's shows and is also the party's producer. He is a very intelligent individual and often has some sort of devious plot to avoid being posted or getting one over on the Sergeant Major. He left at the end of Series 2 when his National Service was over and he was demobbed back to Britain.

Ah Syn The Chinese Cook he appears in Series 7 after the punka wallah left.

The Concert Party

• Bombardier Solomons (Solly) Series 1 - Series 2
• Gunner/Bombardier Beaumont (Gloria)
• Gunner Parkins (Parky)
• Gunner Sugden (Lofty)
• Gunner Graham (Paderewski)
• Gunner Mackintosh (Atlas)
• Gunner Clark (Nobby)
• Gunner Evans (Nosher)

Series and Episodes

It Ain't Half Hot Mum Made Episodes between 1974 and 1981 but took a break in 1979.

Series 1 to Series 4 Took Place in Royal Artillery Depot Deolali, British India.

Series 5 to Series 8 Took Place in Tin Min, Burma.

All Episodes are 30 Minutes.

The 'Lost' episodes 'A Star is Born' and 'It's a Wise Child' were lost at one stage, but were found in 1988 in Australia. Someone recorded them on a VHS tape and they were later put in the BBC Archives, then put on the Series 1 DVD. However they no longer exist in broadcast quality.

Main Cast during the Series

The British, Indians and Chinese

Rank	Role	Nationality	Actor	Episodes	Other War Shows
Lieutenant-Colonel	Charles Reynolds	English	Donald Hewlett	All 56
Captain	Jonathan Ashwood	English	Michael Knowles	All 56	Dad's Army
Battery Sergeant Major	Tudor Williams	Welsh	Windsor Davies	All 56
Bombardier	'Solly' Solomons	English	George Layton	Series 1 - 2
Gunner/Bombardier	'Gloria' Beaumont	English	Melvyn Hayes	All 56
Gunner	'Lofty' Harold Sugden	English	Don Estelle	All 56	Dad's Army
Gunner	'Parky' Nigel Parkins	English	Christopher Mitchell	All 56
Gunner	'Paderewski' Jonathan Graham	English	John Clegg	All 56	Dad's Army
Gunner	'Atlas' Mackintosh	Scottish	Stuart McGugan	All 56	Dad's Army
Gunner	'Nobby' Clark	English	Kenneth MacDonald	All 56	Dad's Army and Tenko
Gunner	'Nosher' Evans	English	Mike Kinsey	All 56
Bearer	Rangi Ram	Indian	Michael Bates	Series 1 - 5
Char Wallah	Muhammed	Indian‎	Dino Shafeek	All 56
Punkah Wallah	Rumzan	Indian	Babar Bhatti	Series 1 - 6
The Chinese Cook	Ah Syn	Chinese	Andy Ho	Series 7 - 8

Recurring Roles

Role	Nationality	Actor or Actress	Episodes
Inspector Singh	Indian	Nick Zaran	Meet the Gang and Mutiny of the Punka-Wallahs
Ling Soo	Chinese	Yasuko Nagazumi	Forbidden Fruits and Pale Hands I Love
The Maharajah of Chattarpur	Indian	Renu Setna	Mind My Maharajah and Bang Goes the Maharajah
Pandit the Butler	Indian	Ashwin Patel	Mind My Maharajah and Bang Goes the Maharajah
Daphne Waddilove-Evans	English	Frances Bennett	Kidnapped in the Khyber and A Fate Worse Than Death
The Pathan Chief	Indian	Sultan Lalani	Kidnapped in the Khyber and A Fate Worse Than Death
The Pathan	Indian	Saad Ghazi	Kidnapped in the Khyber and A Fate Worse Than Death
Me Thant	Burmese	Burt Kwouk (Tenko)	The Pay Off and The Great Payroll Snatch
The Dhobi Wallah	Indian	Saad Ghazi	Puddings From Heaven and The Dhobi Wallahs
Major Loosemore	English	Michael Bevis (Dad's Army)	Lead Kindly Light and Holidays at Home
The Brigadier	English	Eric Dodson ('Allo 'Allo!)	Money Talks and Aquastars

Series 1 (1974)

1. Meet the Gang (03/01/1974)

The Concert Party are trying to rehearse a show without their pianist. A new gunner arrives in the camp. An anti-British demonstration disrupts the show.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Inspector Singh	Indian	Nick Zaran
Rickshaw Wallah	Indian	Ashwin Patel

---

2. My Lovely Boy (10/01/1974)

Sergeant Major Williams discovers that Gunner Parkins is his son.

---

3. Mutiny of the Punka-Wallahs (17/01/1974)

The plan to replace the Punka Wallahs leads to trouble.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Inspector Singh	Indian	Nick Zaran

---

4. A Star is Born (24/01/1974) Lost

When Gunner Parkins is removed from the concert party because of his incompetence, Sergeant Major Williams sees a chance to send the other men up the jungle.

---

5. The Jungle Patrol (31/01/1974)

Sergeant-Major takes the concert party on a jungle survival course in an attempt to make soldiers of them, but who will come out on top?

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
District Commissioner Hope Thompson	English	Geoffrey Lumsden (Dad's Army)
Game Warden	Indian	Mohammad Shamsi

---

6. It’s a Wise Child (07/02/1974) Lost

The men of the concert party as well as Sergeant Major Williams try to find out the truth about Gunner Parkin's father.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Clerk	Indian	Renu Setna

---

7. The Road to Bannu (14/02/1974)

The concert party have the misfortune to get stranded in a remote part of the North West Frontier.Williams sends Lofty to go find help.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Chief Tribesman	Indian	Rafiq Anwar
Stationmaster	Indian	Ishaq Bux
Rangi's Mother-in-Law	Indian	Zohra Segal

The Unspecified Roles are all Indians

• Bob Babenia
• Ahmed Khalil
• Jagdish Kumar
• Rangit Nakara (Tenko)
• Ashwin Patel
• Rudolf Ramillo
• Geronimo Sehmi

---

8. The Inspector Calls (21/02/1974)

Sergeant Major Williams finds a way to get the concert party into uniform by devising a military musical number for them.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The General	English	Jeffrey Segal (Dad's Army)

---

Produced and Directed by David Croft

---

Series 2 (1975)

1. Showing the Flag (02/01/1975)

The Sergeant Major tries to train the concert party to lower the flag at sunset.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Fortune-Telling Wallah	Indian	Ishaq Bux
Nigel the Lieutenant-Colonel	English	Barry Sinclair

---

2. Down in the Jungle (09/01/1975)

The concert party's plane makes a crash landing, and the men realise they could be behind enemy lines.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Ground Worker	Indian	Saad Ghazi
Restaurant Proprietor	Indian	Mohammed Shamsi
The Pilot (Flight Lieutenant)	Indian	Tariq Yunus

---

3. The Natives Are Revolting (16/01/1975)

The Sergeant Major is determined to find out who replaced the camp's Union Jack with an Indian flag.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The District Officer	Indian	Renu Setna

---

4. Cabaret Time (23/01/1975)

A performance in the Kama Sutra Club gets the concert party and the Battery Sergeant Major into trouble.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The US Navy Seaman	American	Robin Browne
The Cook	English	Bobby Dennis
The Club Proprietor	Indian	Talat Hussein
Sergeant-Major Cyril Stevens, Military Police	English	Arnold Peters (Dad's Army and Secret Army)

---

5. The Curse of the Sadhu (30/01/1975)

Sergeant Williams tempts the wrath of the gods by ejecting a revered holy man from the parade ground.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Sadhu	Indian	Minoo Golvala
The Medical Orderly	Indian	Ranjit Nakara (Tenko)

---

6. Forbidden Fruits (06/02/1975)

When the army runs out of "that stuff they put in our tea" the men can't stop thinking about women. Colonel Reynolds tries to see Mrs Waddilove-Evans when her husband is not home.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Daphne Waddilove-Evans	English	Margaret Courtenay
Major Waddilove-Evans	English	Michael Moore (Dad's Army)
Ling Soo	Chinese	Yasuko Nagazumi

---

7. Has Any On Seen My Cobra? (13/02/1975)

A snake-charmer's cobra goes missing and is found in the Sergeant Major's quarters.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Mr Ali the Tailor	Indian	Renu Setna
The Market Trader	Indian	Rudolf Ramillo
The Foot-Chopping-Wallah	Indian	Azad Ali
Selim (Snake Charmer)	Indian	Ahmed Khalil
Sultan (Snake Charmer)	Indian	Sultan Lalani
Karim Khan (Duck Charmer)	Indian	Ashwin Patel

---

8. The Night of the Thugs (20/02/1975)

The concert party take refuge from a rainstorm in a ruined temple and fall victim to a fanatical native sect.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Curator	Indian	Minoo Golvala

Note this is the Last Episode that George Layton Starred as Bombardier Solomons (Solly)

---

Produced and Directed by David Croft

---

Series 3 (1976)

1. The Supremo Show (02/01/1976)

While the officers are out of the way in hospital, Williams takes the opportunity to post the concert party up the jungle—but is forced to bring them back to stage a special performance.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Supremo (Admiral Lord Louis Mountbatten, GCVO, CB, DSO)	English	Richard Grant
The Doctor	Indian	Ahmed Khalil

---

2. Mind My Maharajah (09/01/1976)

The concert party is sent to the palace of the Maharajah of Bharatpur to protect him.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Lieutenant-Colonel Standish	English	MacDonald Hobley
The Aide-de-Camp	English	Cy Town (Dad's Army)
The Maharajah of Chattarpur	Indian	Renu Setna
Pandit the Butler	Indian	Ashwin Patel

---

3. Bang Goes the Maharajah (16/01/1976)

The concert party try to stop the attempts on the life of the Maharajah of Bharatpur.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Maharajah of Chattarpur	Indian	Renu Setna
Pandit the Butler	Indian	Ashwin Patel

---

4. The Grand Illusion (23/01/1976)

Sergeant Major Williams finds that bragging about his troops can get him into trouble.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Book Selling Wallah	Indian	Saad Ghazi
Watch Selling Wallah	Indian	Rudolf Ramillo
The Magician	Indian	Minoo Golvala
Company Sergeant-Major Sharp	English	David Lodge (Guest Star)

Note this is the First Episode that Gunner Beaumont becomes a Bombardier

---

5. Pale Hands I Love (30/01/1976)

The sergeant major falls in love and gets into trouble with the Tongs.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Chung Soo	Chinese	Robert Lee (Tenko)
Ling Soo	Chinese	Yasuko Nagazumi
The Assassin	Chinese	Vincent Wong (Tenko)

---

6. Don’t Take the Mickey (06/02/1976)

Sergeant Major Williams tries to break up the concert party by promoting Gunner Graham.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Bar Proprietor	Indian	Talat Hussein

---

Produced and Directed by Graeme Muir

---

Series 4 (1976)

1. Monsoon Madness (02/11/1976)

When the Sergeant-Major makes the Concert party perform fatigues to be ready for the arrival of the monsoon, Lofty goes mad and vows to kill the Sergeant-Major.

---

2. Kidnapped in the Khyber (09/11/1976)

When it becomes difficult for Colonel Reynolds to hide his affair with Mrs Waddilove-Evans, he decides it's best to accompany the concert party to a show on the North-West Frontier.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Daphne Waddilove-Evans	English	Frances Bennett
The Pathan Chief	Indian	Sultan Lalani
The Pathan	Indian	Saad Ghazi

---

3. A Fate Worse Than Death (16/11/1976)

The members of the concert party try to find the kidnapped Mrs Waddilove-Evans.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Daphne Waddilove-Evans	English	Frances Bennett
The Pathan Chief	Indian	Sultan Lalani
The Pathan	Indian	Saad Ghazi

---

4. Ticket to Blighty (23/11/1976)

Bombardier Beaumont tries different ways to get sent home.

Also Starring Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Chief Commander Crisp	English	Mavis Pugh (Dad's Army)
The ATS Sergeant	English	Bernice Adams (Dad's Army)
The Nursing Sister	English	Andrea Godfrey

---

5. Lofty’s Little Friend (30/11/1976)

An elephant follows Lofty to the camp.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Man on Bicycle	Indian	Mohammed Shamsi
The Elephant Owner	Indian	Azad Ali

• The Elephant as Vicki (From Gerry Cottle's Circus)

---

6. Fight to Jawani (07/12/1976)

Men from a remote RAF base get too excited when the concert party puts on a show.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Buster the USAAF Pilot	American	Freddie Earlle (Dad's Army)
Matt the USAAF Pilot	American	Hal Galili
The RAF Commanding Officer	English	Tim Barrett (Dad's Army)
The RAF Doctor	English	Robin Parkinson (Dad's Army and 'Allo 'Allo!)
The RAF Airman	English	Jeffrey Holland (Dad's Army and Secret Army)
The RAF Control Tower Officer	Indian	Talat Hussein

---

7. We Are Not Amused (14/12/1976)

A pageant, written by Captain Ashwood, might offend the Indian assistant to the District Officer.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Captain Collins	English	Peter Green (Dad's Army)
Deputy District Officer Mr Patel	Indian	Jaron Yaltan

---

8. Twenty-One Today (28/12/1976)

Gunner Parkins turns twenty-one. Sergeant Major Williams wants to give him a present.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Sword Seller	Indian	Ishaq Bux
The Postman	English	Bobby Dennis

---

Produced and Directed by David Croft (Episodes 4 and 8)

Produced by David Croft, Directed by Bob Spiers (Episodes 1-3, 5-7)

---

Series 5 (1977)

1. Front Line Entertainers (25/10/1977)

When the men get sent up the jungle, they find that some Australian soldiers haven't vacated their camp, as was ordered.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Lieutenant-Colonel Slim	Australian	Edmund Pegge (Tenko and Secret Army)
Okker	Australian	Peter Cartwright

---

2. Bridge Over the River Hipong (01/11/1977)

While they are still having trouble adapting to the jungle, the members of the concert party get the task of building a bridge.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Doctor Rahn	Indian	Mohammed Shamsi

---

3. The Pay Off (08/11/1977)

The men of the Royal Artillery Concert Party put on a show for Burmese bandits.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Burly Soldier	English	Gorden Kaye ('Allo 'Allo!)
Me Thant	Burmese	Burt Kwouk (Tenko)
Captain Owen	English	Norman Mitchell (Dad's Army)

---

4. Puddings From Heaven (15/11/1977)

When the men discover a way to get food dropped illegally, they get into trouble. The food (puddings) were meant for some senior officers.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Indian Trader	Indian	Ishaq Bux
Major Nangle	English	Jonathan Cecil (Dad's Army)
Captain Bishop/Private Murphy	English	Robert Gillespie (Dad's Army and Secret Army)
Military Police Captain	English	James Taylor as (Dad's Army)
The Dhobi Wallah	Indian	Saad Ghazi

---

5. The Superstar (22/11/1977)

The Concert Party members are made to feel redundant when a talented new arrival steals the limelight.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Aircraftsman Ormanroyd	English	Jeffrey Holland (Dad's Army and Secret Army)
Pilot Officer Digby	English	Tim Barrett (Dad's Army)

---

6. The Eternal Quadrangle (29/11/1977)

Gunner Parkins has fallen in love with a pretty Burmese girl from the local village - the same girl that Captain Ashwood and Sergeant Major Williams have been visiting. Then, Gunner Sugden has something to say ...

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Thin Yu	Burmese	Fiesta Mei Ling
Head Man	Burmese	John A. Tinn

Note this is the Last Episode that Michael Bates Starred in as Rangi Ram.

---

Produced and Directed by David Croft (Episodes 1 and 6)

Produced by David Croft, Directed by Ray Butt (Episodes 2-5)

---

Series 6 (1978)

1. The Stars Look Down (23/10/1978)

The men from the Concert Party become involved in the production of an American war film. The Sergeant Major is horrified when he discovers that the Americans want to make the British look like a bunch of cowards being saved single-handed by a heroic GI.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Colonel Sol Zimmerman	American	Ed Bishop
Sam	American	Freddie Earlle (Dad's Army)
Chuck	American	Micheal Halsey (Secret Army)

Note this is the First Episode that Michael Bates did not Star as Rangi Ram because he died on 11/01/1978.

---

2. The Big League (30/10/1978)

Two of the men from the Concert Party get drunk and upset the natives from a nearby village. A football match is arranged as a way of mending fences. The villagers cheat and look like winning by a big margin. Drastic measures are needed to prevent the Army from total humiliation.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Military Police Sergeant		David English (Secret Army)
The Village Head Man		Ashwin Patel
The Referee Mohammad Bux		Mohammad Shamsi

---

3. The Great Payroll Snatch (06/11/1978)

The men from the concert party are given the job of guarding the Army payroll. A local bandit leader challenges the Sergeant Major to a test of manhood in order to get him away from the camp while his men steal the payroll.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Me Thant	Burmese	Burt Kwouk (Tenko)
The Bandits		Robert Lee (Tenko) and David Yip
Major Webster		Michael Lomax (Dad's Army)

---

4. The Dhobi Wallahs (20/11/1978)

The Japanese organise a pincer movement which takes the British by surprise.

GHQ send a radio message which includes a code word instructing the men from the Concert Party to withdraw. Gunner Parkins doesn't pass the message on to Colonel Reynolds. As a result, the gang find themselves trapped behind enemy lines.

The men disguise themselves as dhobi wallahs and end up doing laundry for a group of Japanese soldiers.

Later, the men are ordered to blow up a bridge. They fail in their task, then discover that GHQ have changed their mind about having the bridge blown up.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Dhobi Wallah		Saad Ghazi
Brigadier Cox		Denys Hawthorne

---

5. Lead Kindly Light (27/11/1978)

There's a plan to disband the Concert Party. The only hope of a reprieve is for the men to put on a good show for the area commander.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Major Loosemore		Michael Bevis (Dad's Army)
The First Soldier		Rupert Bates
The Second Soldier		Denis Bond
The Nursing Sister		Fleur Chandler
Reverand Burgess		John Quentin
Captain de Wolfe		Martin Sharvell-Martin (Dad's Army)
Captain Rogers		James Taylor (Dad's Army)

---

6. Holidays at Home (11/12/1978)

Lofty dreams that he and the rest of the men are sailors on the 'Bounty'.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Major Loosemore		Michael Bevis (Dad's Army)

---

7. Caught Short (18/12/1978)

Some money has gone missing from the camp's petty cash. Captain Ashwood is given the job of tracking down the culprit.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
The Military Policeman		Derek Martin

Note this is the Last Episode that Babar Bhatti Starred as Punkah Wallah Rumzan

---

Produced by David Croft, Directed by Phil Bishop

---

Series 7 (1980)

1. That's Entertainment? (17/10/1980)

The Sgt Major makes a decision guaranteed to cause uproar when he picks a Scottish audience to watch a special English performance.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Major Grant Hopkirk		Peter Cellier
Major Forsett		Jimmy Perry (Dad's Army)
1st Highlander		Martin Cochrane
2nd Highlander		Robert McIntosh

Note this is the First Episode that Andy Ho Starred in as Ah Syn, the Chinese Cook and this is the First Episode that Babar Bhatti did not star as Punkah Wallah Rumzan because he left the show.

---

2. The Guinea Pigs (24/10/1980)

The Concert Party are roped into testing a new anti-malaria drug.

Also Starring

Role	Nationality	Actor
Captain Webb		Michael Bevis (Dad's Army)
Captain Hudson		John D. Collins (Dad's Army, 'Allo 'Allo! and Secret Army)
Colonel Bridges		Rikki Fulton (Guest Star)
Corporal Higgins		Denis Bond

---

3. Dog in the Manger (31/10/1980)

Captain Ashwood has problems when a female welfare officer falls madly in love with him.

Also Starring

• June Whitfield as Captain Georgina Tollemache (Guest Star)

---

4. The Great Broadcast (07/11/1980)

The men from the Concert Party perform on Forces Radio. Sergeant Major Williams talks to Gunner Parkins' mother.

Also Starring

• Geoffrey Beevers as the BBC Technician
• John D. Collins (Dad's Army, 'Allo 'Allo! and Secret Army) as Charles the Announcer
• Hilda Fenemore (Dad's Army) as Mrs Parkins
• Robin Parkinson (Dad's Army and 'Allo 'Allo!) as Dennis Forbes Dobson the BBC Producer

---

5. Class of 1945 (14/11/1980)

The men from the Concert Party try to get rid of Sergeant Major Williams by talking him into applying for a commission.

Also Starring

• Glyn Houston as the Brigadier (Guest Star)

---

6. Star Commandos (21/11/1980)

The Brigadier decides that the men from the Concert Party should become part of the British advance, doing their shows in the front line.

Also Starring

• Henry McGee as The Brigadier (Guest Star)
• Iain Rattray ('Allo 'Allo! and Secret Army) as The Commando Sergeant
• John D. Collins (Dad's Army, 'Allo 'Allo! and Secret Army) as The Squadron Leader

---

Produced by David Croft, Directed by John Kilby

---

Series 8 (1981)

1. Gloria's Finest Hour (23/07/1981)

The Japanese are preventing supplies from reaching the British troops, so there's a shortage of food.

Gunner Beaumont gets involved in a search for food. He gets hit on the head and his personality suddenly changes dramatically. He turns into a fearless fighting man and insists on leading the Sergeant Major in a mission against the Japanese.

They discover that the supplies are being held up by a single Japanese soldier. After the mission, Gloria suddenly returns to his normal, cowardly self.

Also Starring

• Dennis Ramsden as The Brigadier

---

2. Money Talks (30/07/1981)

It seems that Gunner Graham will soon be inheriting a substantial sum of money. Suddenly, everyone wants to talk to him about investing in their schemes for making money when the war is over.

Also Starring

• Eric Dodson ('Allo 'Allo!) as The Brigadier

---

3. Aquastars (06/08/1981)

The men from the Concert Party try to stage a spectacular show on the river. Everything goes disastrously wrong.

Also Starring

• Eric Dodson ('Allo 'Allo!) as The Brigadier
• Barry Cryer as the Commentary
• Roy Heather as the Corporal

---

4. The Last Warrior (13/08/1981)

Japan has surrendered and the war is over. Unfortunately, there's a fanatical Japanese soldier out on an island who refuses to lay down his arms. The men from the Concert Party try to persuade him to surrender.

Also Starring

• Nicholas McArdle as Major Parkinson
• Gordon Salkilld as the Military Police Corporal

---

5. Never the Twain Shall Meet (20/08/1981)

Now that the war is over, the natives return to their village. They want the men from the Concert Party to move out so that they can return to their homes. Sergeant Major Williams insists on dealing with them in a less than diplomatic fashion.

Also Starring

• Renu Setna as Mr Kumar Puhara
• Ali Baba as the Village Head Man

---

6. The Long Road Home (27/08/1981)

It's time for the men from the Concert Party to start the return journey to Britain.

Everyone is supposed to have injections before setting off. The vaccine runs out before Lofty gets his jabs, so he has to stay behind when the others begin their journey.

A new batch of vaccine turns up after the others have left, so Lofty is given his injections and, accompanied by the Char Wallah, he sets off to try to catch up with the main evacuation party.

Also Starring

• Ishaq Bux as the Garage Proprietor
• John Benfiel as the Military Police Corporal
• John D. Collins (Dad's Army, 'Allo 'Allo! and Secret Army) as Captain Dachet
• Colin Haigh as the Medical Orderly
• Graham Hamilton as the Military Police Sergeant

---

7. The Last Roll Call (03/09/1981)

The men reach England and prepare for demobilisation.

Also Starring

• Brenda Cowling (Dad's Army) as the WVS Lady
• Ralph Morse as the Abusive soldier
• John Oxley as the Royal Army Pay Corps Captain
• Bill Pertwee (Dad's Army) and Jeffrey Segal as the Demob Centre Supervisors
• Arnold Peters (Dad's Army) as the Customs Hall Supervisor
• Stella Tanner as Frieda the Station Room Waitress

---

Produced by David Croft, Directed by John Kilby

---

DVD releases

Series 1 to Series 5 have been released DVD region code 2 by Cinema Club.

Also are in this list are the DVD region code 4 DVD's.

DVD	Code	Date of release (R2)	Date of release (R4)
The Complete Series 1	CCTV 30213	5th September 2005	2nd March 2006
The Complete Series 2	CCTV 30227	10th October 2005	5th October 2006
The Complete Series 3	CCTV 30269	13th February 2006	7th March 2007
The Complete Series 4	CCTV 30295	1st May 2006	5th September 2007
The Complete Series 5	CCTV 30328	31st July 2006	5th March 2008
The Complete Series 6	CCTV 30395	31st March 2008	TBA
The Complete Series 7	CCTV 30xxx	TBA	TBA
The Complete Series 8	CCTV 30xxx	TBA	TBA
The Series 1-Series 4 Boxset	CCTV 30532	31st October 2006	TBA
The Series 5-Series 8 Boxset	CCTV 30xxx	TBA	TBA
The Complete Boxset (All 8 Series)	CCTV 30xxx	TBA	TBA

Songs

Because It Ain't Half Hot Mum was a sitcom about a concert party, many old music hall, musical and traditional songs were performed by the actors, including:

• An Apple For The Teacher
• A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody
• By A Waterfall
• Dames
• Gentlemen Rankers
• Gilbert The Filbert
• Happy Days Are Here Again
• I'll Be Seeing You
• Love for Sale
• Mandalay
• Moonlight Becomes You
• Music Hall Song
• On the Good Ship Lollipop
• Puttin' On the Ritz
• Rule Britannia
• South Of The Border
• Stout-Hearted Men
• The Teddy Bears' Picnic
• The White Cliffs of Dover
• Top Hat

Urdu Glossary

Urdu	English
aana	to come
achchha	good, okay
anna	Indian coin, one sixteenth of a rupee
bahot	many
chai	tea
chapaati	bread
charpai	bed
chatti	earthen pot
chitty	note
dhobi	laundry
dhoti	loincloth
garam	warm
idhar	here
idhar aa'o!	come here!
jaana	to go
jaa'o!	go!
jaldi	quickly
kharaab	bad
maloom	clear
paagal pani	alcohol ('mad water')
pani	water
pankhaa	fan
pyaalah	bowl
rupee	Indian coin
salaam	hello
thand	cold
theek hay	okay
wallah	-man (suffix)

External links

• BBC Comedy Guide
• British Film Institute Screen Online
• British Sitcom Guide
• Phill.co.uk Comedy Guide
• Rottentomatoes.com
• Melvyn Hayes Official Website
• Urdu Glossary
• Online English - Urdu Dictionary
• Online English - Urdu - Hindi Dictionary
• - It Ain't Half Hot Mum
• It Ain't Half Hot Mum at IMDb