Action (conduct)

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Mary , John and women from Galilea mourn the death of Christ . Painting by Hans Memling from the late 15th century.

A lawsuit in terms of cultural studies and psychology is a social act that consists in a person expressing feelings of pain , sadness or suffering in words . People who complain , on the other hand, express dissatisfaction . Linguistic means are used in both cases . Its linguistic form distinguishes the lament from related forms of expression such as screaming , crying , moaning and sighingand brings them close to grief or complaint .

Complaining is highly influenced by culture. This applies not only to literary and musical complaints, but also to B. also for religious and secular mourning customs (see death lament ). Even everyday complaints from people with colleagues, friends or family or in a partnership can have ritualized features.

Lamentations in the Bible

Old testament

The prophet Jeremiah laments the destruction of Jerusalem. Oil painting by Rembrandt , 1630.

The most famous lamentations of the Old Testament are found in the Lamentations of Jeremiah . The songs, written in the meter of a Hebrew lament for the dead (Qina), are an example of highly developed Hebrew poetry. Its author is traditionally considered to be the scriptural prophet Jeremiah , who in vain preached to the people of Israel repentance to God and for years prophesied the downfall of the temple city of Jerusalem - a tragedy that began in 586 BC. Actually occurred and which is lamented in the songs. Jeremiah's prophecies of doom and lamentation can be compared to those of the prophets Isaiah , Micah, and Zechariah . The historical background of the events was the conquest of Jerusalem by the neo-Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar II , which formed the starting point of the Babylonian exile and marked the beginning of the long wandering of God's people through the “ valley of tears ”. A temple built later on the same site was also destroyed, but the western wall was preserved and is now known in German-speaking countries as the Western Wall . The expression " Jeremiade ", which was originally just a popular name for the lamentations of Jeremiah, has been used since modern times in a figurative sense to denote a literary work in which the decline or decadence of a society is deplored.

Many of the Old Testament psalms also have a lamenting character , for example Psalms 6, 22, 64 and 102. The psalms served the Jewish community as a prayer and hymn book; Believers in suffering went to the temple and were able to bring their complaints before God in the form of a psalm.

The books of Moses and the history books also contain lamentations. There complained u. a. Abraham the death of Sarah , Joseph that of his father Jacob , Jiftach the sacrifice of his daughter, David the death of Saul and Abner , Jeremiah laments the death of Joschiah . Further accounts of lamentations can be found in the book of Job .

New Testament

In the New Testament , too, lamenting is  an important form of prayer , alongside petitions, thanks, praise and adoration . Lamentations are less common than in the Old Testament. After the child murder in Bethlehem , Rachel (as a symbol for the people of Israel) laments her children, and the deceased daughter of Jairus , whom Christ then calls back to life, is also lamented. The evangelists' accounts of the Passion and crucifixion of Christ contain only very isolated lamentations . Luke mentions women who follow Jesus loaded with the cross and complain about him; Markus also reports of complaining women at the grave. The succinct lamentations in the Gospels bear no relation to the abundance and detail of the manifestations of Christ that European painting produced from the 12th century onwards.

Lament as literature

Greek mythology

In Greek mythology , there are many great mourning representations. Here complains u. a. Elektra the death of her father Agamemnon and the supposed death of her brother Orestes , Ariadne laments Theseus , Penthesilea laments her sister Hippolyte , and Orpheus laments his wife Eurydice . Narcissus complains that his love for his own reflection in the mirror cannot be fulfilled, and Kalamos complains about his dead lover Karpos. Greek mythology also tells of Cocytus , the wild and hideous river of wailing in the underworld.

The Iliad laments the death of the Greek fighter Patroclus and - even more painfully - that of his Trojan counterpart Hector . The Greek fighters also mourn the death of the hero Achilles .

Greek tragedy

In Euripides' tragedies - here a scene from Medea  - representations of lamentation occupy a central position.

As a literary form, the lament is well documented in the case of the classical Greek tragedies ( Aeschylus , Sophocles , Euripides ). Lamentations - in Greek studies one also speaks of "threnetic" elements - occupy a central position in this text corpus. They are partly inspired by the oral genres of the traditional lament for the dead ( Threnos , Goos, Logos Epitaphios). Action representations appear in lyrical form (as choral song , or Amoibaion Monodie ), but also in Sprechverspartien ( Rhesis , stichomythia ). Despite the large formal range, they all show a typical and even seemingly stereotypical topic and motif . The formulaic expressions include the introductory statement of claim ( "I complain" , "I cry" , "I scream" etc.), mourning gestures (hit the head), requests for complaint and imperatives (so-called ecce motifs, "Oh see, how I suffer! ” ), complaints, questions about the origin of the calamity, reproaches addressed to the gods and Moiren , thoughts about fate , and much more.

middle Ages

The characteristic forms of medieval poetry which counts Minne lawsuit in which a male lyrical ego, but a woman in vain, the rules of the High Minne loves accordingly, provides an emotional situation report.

The lament in music

In the factory z. B. von Gustav Mahler musical complaints occupy a large space.

Many traditional forms of literary lament were also musical forms ( lamentations ). This applies, for example, to the Threnos (Greek antiquity), the Nänie , the elegy (both Roman antiquity) and the Planh (old Provencal trobadord poem). Although the music was hardly set in writing, the musical form as such was often taken up again when modern artists drew on the holdings of ancient models (e.g. Penderecki : Threnos ; Brahms : Nänie ; Bernstein : Elegie auf den Death of a dog ). The modern forms include the lamento ( Monteverdi : Lamento della Ninfa ) and the funeral march ( Frédéric Chopin : Piano Sonata No. 2 , 3rd movement). In the chamber music (Mahler: Death of Children ) musical actions are just as home as in the orchestral music ( Tchaikovsky : Symphony No. 6 ( Pathétique ), fourth sentence) and in the sacred music ( contactor : Musical Exequien ).

Other genres in which musical complaints occur are the oratorio and the opera . Examples can be found in the work of Monteverdi ( L'Arianna ), Charpentier ( Médée , 3rd act), Handel ( Saul , 3rd act), Wagner ( Das Rheingold , 4th scene) and Fortner ( Blood Wedding ). Giuseppe Verdi's operatic works are particularly rich in lamenting scenes (e.g. Nabucco , Les vêpres siciliennes , Don Carlos ). Some musicals also contain musical complaints (e.g. Evita , Les Misérables ).

To complain

While “complaining” primarily expresses pain, “complaining” is an expression of dissatisfaction. It shows disappointment , anger , indignation , displeasure, aversion or resentment , although these feelings can also be pretended. While complaining only occasionally includes an accusation (e.g., as a reproach to God), complaining regularly implies criticism , scolding , reproach, or the assignment of blame. These relate either to the addressee of the lawsuit or to a third person or matter.

The expression “complain” first spread in German in modern times; The verb “complain” does not appear in its reflexive form in Luther's translation of the Bible .

Cultural perspective

Modern American Yiddish uses the term kwetschen, or kvetch , which means not only "squeeze" but also "whine" and "complain" in either habitual or nagging or whining ways. A kvetcher is a person who seems to habitually look for occasions to complain about.

Philosophical perspective

Friedrich Nietzsche deals with complaining in his late book Götzen-Dämmerung (1889). The object of his criticism here is the resentful type of person who always blames others for their bad state and for their personal shortcomings. This type complains about the injustice of the world, wins from his "beautiful indignation" and the feeling of being morally better, but so much pleasure and a feeling of power that he can endure life for the sake of this charm. Max Scheler went a step further when he wrote that this type of person actively seeks out or creates situations in which he forms his resentment, and that his allegations are not aimed at improving those who have been criticized.

Pedagogical perspective

The subjects of “whining” ( whining , yowling ) and “completing” ( complaining ) occupy a large space in the educational discourse of the English-speaking world - especially the United States  . With Complaining in this context, the child benefits is the incessant and connected to blame Request meant that can not be provided by the parents (eg. As complaints about boredom or complaints about a sibling that supposedly always special advantages enjoys). However, it is not the occasional complaint, but a habitual complaint that is considered problematic, the causes of which are considered to be a bad parental role model and impaired parent-child communication. This is a spiral of complaints from the child and rebukes and reproaches from the parents, who are repelled by the apparent insatiability and ingratitude of the spoiled child and who themselves complain about it. Unless the family breaks this vicious circle, the child will not learn to articulate their desires in a more adult way and will be prone to chronic complaining later in life . , Parents who are recommended countermeasures are introspection and stabling own senseless actions, a general improvement in the attitude ( attitude ) d. H. a reorientation of perceptions - one's own and that of the child - on the things that are enjoyable and good in life and that work (instead of constantly staring at the things that don't work), and a consistent ignoring of the demands and complaints that the child recites in a plaintive manner.

Psychological perspective

Why people complain

The expressions “complain” and “complain” are often used synonymously in colloquial German . In a narrower sense, however, someone who complains addresses his complaint to a person or instance (e.g. an ombudsman or a complaint or customer service point ) who promises to remedy the situation; someone who complains , on the other hand, is primarily looking for cathartic relief, interpersonal reassurance ( empathy , understanding, compassion, consent and partisanship), self-assurance and explanations for their situation. There are also deliberate lawsuits aimed at achieving a specific purpose (see the following section ).

The American psychologist Robin Kowalski has pointed out that complaining can also serve as an instrument for self-expression . An employee who complains about their high workload unintentionally suggests that they play an important role in the company. Someone who complains about the food or wine in the restaurant may be mistaken for a gourmet .

Instrumental and expressive complaining

Robin Kowalski distinguishes between instrumental and expressive complaints. She understands instrumental complaint e.g. B. the conscious nagging of a person who wants to induce the addressee of his complaint to take a specific, clearly defined action. Such complaints can be very beneficial for a partnership, for example if the addressee then gives up problematic behavior (see below ). Other examples of instrumental complaining are advocating physical discomfort (to be excused from an obligation) or exaggerating dissatisfaction with a product (for which you want to get your money back).

Expressive complaining, on the other hand, has no conscious purpose, but primarily serves the complainant to vent, to get rid of frustration or to solicit social sympathy. That people, as the research shows, immediately after complain about but not better, but worse feeling than before, is not entirely surprising, since they intensely express their dissatisfaction with the action in the eye. All people complain expressively, more often than they realize. However, under certain conditions, this can become problematic:

Habitual complaining

People who complain indiscriminately, habitually, and chronically to others can be a nuisance to them and put themselves at risk of social isolation in the long term. Scientific observations on this behavior have been recorded mainly by psychotherapists . As Robin Kowalski and Janet Erickson pointed out, there are several factors that determine how readily people who complain are heard. In particular, complaints that seem to have no end and that are brought up without regard to whether the other person wants to hear them in great detail are particularly annoying. This not only tires the listener; someone who constantly complains about everything also seems implausible. He seems to be driven by other motives than just the desire to relieve himself or to receive advice . Complaints about minor matters (e.g. Pet Peeves , Relative Deprivation, and the like) are harder for those around them to endure than complaints about serious suffering. Complaints that are obviously addressed to the wrong person are also annoying. Repeated complaints from people who take little or no practical steps to resolve the problem complained of are perceived as particularly tiresome.

Many people who habitually complain resemble monopolists , a type of patient described by group therapist Irvin D. Yalom who always takes the floor in communication situations. Both cannot bear to be silent, and both tend to use every cue the interlocutor gives them to come back to their own topic. Since the unhappy and dissatisfied mood of the complainant tends to be contagious to the addressees of the lawsuit, the relatives, friends, colleagues, etc. of people who habitually complain are exposed to significant emotional stress. Kowalski advises them to refer them to instances where their complaints are better placed (e.g. online complaints or special newspaper columns). The American psychiatrist Eric Berne recommends patiently acknowledging the complaints first, but then asking what the complainant intends to do about the causes of his dissatisfaction.

Lamentation patterns in partnerships and families

As John Gottman has observed, it is very beneficial to a partnership when the partners occasionally complain to one another - provided that the complaints actually lead to problematic behaviors being changed. Lengthy swallowing anger can be just as damaging to the relationship as excessive or hostile complaining. However, when the lawsuits continue over a long period of time and turn into reproaches or perceived as reproaches, the partners begin to wall up, withdrawing from one another and feeling disdain for one another. Since hardly anyone likes it when others question their behavior, any lawsuit can in principle lead to a defensive reaction.

The American communication scientist Jess K. Alberts describes five types of lawsuits:

  • The first and most common type is a complaint against a certain behavior (e.g., "you laughed because I fell"). Such complaints are not aimed at the person himself, but at individual behavior; the defendant knows exactly what to do to solve the problem.
  • The second type of complaint relates to character traits of the other ("you are a reckless person"). Such complaints almost always represent an attack on the character and therefore often result in a retreat . They are typical of unhappy couples.
  • The third type contains a criticism of the way in which someone does something specific (e.g. how someone drives a car). Such complaints can be irritating for the addressee and lead to the fact that he or she will avoid the partially criticized action as a whole in the future.
  • Fourth, people complain about the personal appearance of others ("You have a big butt and should be losing weight"). Again, this is a personal attack.
  • The fifth type is the “meta-complaint”, a complaint that the other complains (“Stop complaining about my driving style and look at the map”).

When unhappy couples no longer just exchange complaints face to face, but at least one of the partners begins to talk about it with their social network, another level of conflict has been reached.

psychiatry

The psychiatry knows the excessive self-Mourning u. a. from the phenomenology of depression . Many depressed people have massive relationship conflicts and tend to secretly assign blame when they feel misunderstood, exploited and rejected; others shower their fellow human beings with reproaches, complaints and demands.

See also

literature

Complaints in ancient literature :

  • Eva Harastra (Ed.): Lament with God. A theological discussion. With contributions by Jonas Bauer u. a. Neukirchen-Vluyn 2008.
  • Ann Suter (Ed.): Lament. Studies in the Ancient Mediterranean and Beyond . Oxford 2008.
  • Jochen Schmidt: Lawsuit. Considerations for Alleviating Reflexive Suffering . Tübingen 2011 (RPT 58)
  • Dorothea Sitzler: Accusation against God: a religious motif in the ancient Orient (Egypt and Mesopotamia) . ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  • Federico G. Villanueva: The 'Uncertainty of a Hearing'. A Study of the Sudden Change of Mood in the Psalms of Lament . (Supplements to Vetus Testamentum 121). Suffering u. a. 2008.

Complaint Psychology - Research Literature :

Psychology of Complaining Advice Literature :

  • Will Bowen: A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life . Random House, New York 2007, ISBN 978-0-385-52458-2 ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  • Barbara Held: Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching: A 5-Step Guide to Creative Complaining . St. Martin's Griffin, 2001, ISBN 0-312-28351-2
  • Guy Winch: The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships, and Enhance Your Self-Esteem . Walker, New York 2011, ISBN 978-0-8027-1798-6 ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )

Other advisory literature :

  • Jasper Griegson: The Joys of Complaining: The Consumer's Guide to Getting Even . Robson, 1998, ISBN 1-86105-166-2

Web links

Wiktionary: Klage  - explanations of meanings, word origins, synonyms, translations
Wiktionary: complain  - explanations of meanings, word origins, synonyms, translations
Wikiquote: Lawsuit  - Quotes

Individual evidence

  1. ↑ JG Krünitz: Economic Encyclopedia: Klage
  2. ↑ a b c d Robin M. Kowalski: Complaining, teasing, and other ennoying behaviors . P. 28
  3. ↑ Markus Schauer: Tragic lamenting: form and function of the lamentation in Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides . Gunter Narr Verlag, Tübingen 2002, ISBN 3-8233-4885-X
  4. ↑ Samuel Vuchinich: Problem Solving in Families: Research and Practice . Sage Publications, Thousand Oaks 1999, ISBN 0-7619-0877-3 , p. 124
  5. ↑ For example, Isaiah 3.26 , 24.11 , 32.12 ; Micah 1.8 ; Zechariah 12
  6. ↑ Psalm 6 ; Psalm 22 ; Psalm 64 ; Psalm 102
  7. ↑ The Psalms die-bibel.de
  8. ↑ Genesis 23 Abraham / Sarah; Genesis 50 Joseph / Jacob; Judges 11 Jeftach; Michaela Bauks: Jephthas daughter , Tübingen: More Siebeck, 2010, ISBN 978-3-16-150255-2 , p. 64f; 2 Samuel 1 David / Saul; 2 Samuel 3 David / Abner; 2. Chronicles 35 Jeremiah / Joschija
  9. ↑ For example, Job 2 , 7 , 30
  10. ↑ Matthew 2:18 Rachel; Luke 8:52 daughter of Jairus
  11. ↑ Luke 23:27
  12. ↑ Mark 16:10
  13. ^ Elinor Scollay Wright: The Form of Laments in Greek Tragedy , Dissertation, University of Pennsylvania, 1986 abstract . Rudolf Hölzle: On the structure of the lyrical parts of Aeschylus: Investigation of the importance of religious ideas and forms for the structure of the songs . Dissertation, Freiburg, 1934
  14. ↑ Markus Schauer: Tragic lamenting: form and function of the lamentation in Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides . Gunter Narr Verlag, Tübingen 2002, ISBN 3-8233-4885-X , p. 12
  15. ↑ Markus Schauer: Tragic lamenting: form and function of the lamentation in Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides . Gunter Narr Verlag, Tübingen 2002, ISBN 3-8233-4885-X , p. 17
  16. ↑ Markus Schauer: Tragic lamenting: form and function of the lamentation in Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides . Gunter Narr Verlag, Tübingen 2002, ISBN 3-8233-4885-X , p. 30f
  17. ↑ Search results for: complain bibel-online.net
  18. ↑ Kvetcher Merriam-Webster; kvetch Dictionary.com; kvetcher YourDictionary.com; The Hospital: A kvetcher's paradise . ( Memento of the original from June 25, 2012 in the Internet Archive ) Info: The archive link was inserted automatically and has not yet been checked. Please check the original and archive link according to the instructions and then remove this notice. cancercurmudgeon.com @1@ 2Template: Webachiv / IABot / cancercurmudgeon.com
  19. ↑ Nietzsche's Works, First Section, Volume VIII .: The Wagner Case. Twilight of the Idols. Nietzsche versus Wagner. The will to power I. Seals . Naumann, Leipzig 1899, pp. 141f
  20. ↑ Max Scheler: The Resentment in Building Morals . 2nd Edition. Vittorio Klostermann, Frankfurt / M. 2004, ISBN 3-465-03335-3 , p. 31
  21. ↑ E.g. Scott Turansky, Joanne Miller: Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitutes… in You and Your Kids , Shaw, 2000, ISBN 0-87788-354-8 ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  22. ↑ a b c The Whining, Complaining, Constantly Bored Child ( Memento of the original from July 27, 2011 in the Internet Archive ) Info: The archive link has been inserted automatically and has not yet been checked. Please check the original and archive link according to the instructions and then remove this notice. @1@ 2Template: Webachiv / IABot / terrificparenting.com
  23. ^ Robin M. Kowalski: Complaining, teasing, and other ennoying behaviors . P. 50
  24. ↑ Helmut Schumacher, Jacqueline Kubczak, Renate Schmidt, Vera de Ruiter: VALBU - Valenzwörterbuch German verbs . Gunter Narr, Tübingen 2004, ISBN 3-8233-6064-7 , pp. 247, 481f
  25. ^ Robin M. Kowalski: Complaints and complaining: Functions, antecedents and consequences . In: Psychological Bulletin , Volume 119, 1996, pp. 179-196
  26. ↑ a b Robin M. Kowalski: Complaining, teasing, and other ennoying behaviors , p. 32
  27. ↑ a b Robin M. Kowalski, Janet R. Erickson: Interpersonal and intrapersonal consequences of complaints . In: Representative Research in Social Psychology , Volume 26, 1997, pp. 26-33
  28. ^ Robin Kowalski, CC Cantrell: Intrapersonal and interpersonal consequences of complaints . In: Representative Research in Social Psychology , Volume 26, 2002, pp. 26-33
  29. ↑ Robin Kowalski: Aversive interpersonal behaviors , p. 98. Robin M. Kowalski: Complaining, teasing, and other ennoying behaviors , p. 42, 45
  30. ↑ Robin M. Kowalski: Complaining, teasing, and other ennoying behaviors , p. 38f
  31. ↑ E.g .:
    Jerome D. Frank, Joseph B. Margolin, Helen Nash, Anthony R. Stone, Edith J. Varon: Behavioral patterns in early meetings of therapeutic groups . Volume 108, Number 10, April 1952, pp. 771-778, doi : 10.1176 / ajp.108.10.771 , PMID 14914906 .
    Irvin Yalom, Molyn Leszcz: The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy . Basic Books, 2005, ISBN 0-465-09284-5 , p. 391ff ( restricted online version in the Google Book Search USA ).
    Robin M. Kowalski, Janet R. Erickson: Interpersonal and intrapersonal consequences of complaints . In: Representative Research in Social Psychology , Volume 26, 1997, pp. 26-33
  32. ↑ Robin Kowalski: Aversive interpersonal behaviors , p. 99
  33. ↑ Irvin Yalom, Molyn Leszcz: The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy . Basic Books, 2005, ISBN 0-465-09284-5 , p. 391ff ( limited online version in Google Book Search - USA )
  34. ↑ Robin Kowalski: Aversive interpersonal behaviors , p. 102. Robin M. Kowalski: Complaining, teasing, and other ennoying behaviors . Mary McDiarmid: Rein in the galloping grump  ( page no longer available , search in web archives )  Info: The link was automatically marked as defective. Please check the link according to the instructions and then remove this notice.@1@ 2Template: Toter Link / pubs.chla-absc.ca  
  35. ↑ Robin Kowalski: Aversive interpersonal behaviors , p. 99
  36. ^ Eric Berne: Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships . Penguin, 2010, ISBN 0-14-104027-0
  37. ^ A b John M. Gottman: What Predicts Divorce: The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes . Lawrence Earlbaum, New York 1994, ISBN 978-0-8058-1402-6 . Laura K. Guerrero, Peter A. Andersen, Walid A. Afifi: Close Encounters: Communication in Relationships . SAGE, Thousand Oaks 2011, ISBN 978-1-4129-7737-1 , pp. 346ff
  38. ↑ Robin Kowalski: Aversive interpersonal behaviors , p 96
  39. ↑ Robin M. Kowalski: Aversive interpersonal behaviors , p.98
  40. ↑ Jess K. Alberts: An analysis of couples' conversational complaints . In: Communication Monographs , Volume 55, 1988, pp. 184-197. Jess K. Alberts: A descriptive taxonomy of couples' complaint interactions . In: Southern Speech Communication Journal , Volume 54, 1989, pp. 125-143
  41. ^ John M. Gottman: What Predicts Divorce: The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes . Lawrence Earlbaum, New York 1994, ISBN 978-0-8058-1402-6
  42. ↑ Jess K. Alberts: An analysis of couples' conversational complaints . In: Communication Monographs , Volume 55, 1988, pp. 184-197
  43. ^ Stephanie R. Rollie, Steve Duck, Divorce and dissolution of romantic relationships: Stage models and their limitations . In: Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , Volume 23, 2006, pp. 223-238. Steve Duck: A Topography of relational disengagement and dissolution . In: Steve Duck (Ed.): Personal relationships 4: Dissolving personal relationships . Academic Press, London 1982, ISBN 0-12-222804-9 , pp. 1-30. Diane Vaughn: Uncoupling: Turning points in intimate relationships . Oxford University Press, New York 1986, ISBN 0-679-73002-8
  44. ^ Susan Folkman, Richard S. Lazarus: Stress process and depressive symptomatology . In: Journal of Abnormal Psychology , Volume 95, Issue 2, 1986, pp. 107-113 Abstract
  45. ^ Herbert Will, Yvonne Grabenstedt, Günter Völkl, Gudrun Banck: Depression: Psychodynamics and Therapy . 3. Edition. W. Kohlhammer, Stuttgart 2008, ISBN 978-3-17-020122-4 , pp. 28f