wedding

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Wedding couple in the registry office ( Märchenvilla Eberswalde, 2005)
Elegant wedding party (painting by Wolfgang Heimbach , 1637)

The marriage - including wedding , marriage , marriage or marriage ceremony - includes a variety of social and private law contracts, religious and secular rites , ceremonies and wedding customs as well as accompanying celebrations at the beginning of a marriage, depending on the respective religious, legal and cultural framework conditions of a society . A marriage creates extensive social and economic rights and obligations between the partners associated with it and their families , ethnic groups or clans . The function of the wedding ceremony is to confirm the legality of the relationship in order to ensure mutual care and the legitimacy of any offspring conceived within the marriage ; in many cultures marriage implies their birthright. The wedding can be seen as a rite of passage for the newlyweds . At weddings in many cultures is a ritual exchange of goods or services rather than (as dowry , bride price , dowry , bride book , bride service , dowry ).

Word history

While the words bride and groom can be traced back to the early Middle Ages, the words marriage , marriage and marriage did not appear until the High Middle Ages. It was only in the 21st century that the term “ partnership ” (in a registered partnership ) emerged.

history

Antiquity

In Greece and Rome , marriage was viewed as a primarily civil matter. There was no register in which marriages were entered. Marriages were negotiated between families or their heads ( pater familias ). The wife went into the groom's household and received - as a conditional gift to the groom's family - a dowry which, among other things, was supposed to secure her livelihood and ensure that she was treated well there.

Ancient Greek illustration of a wedding carriage

In Attic law, two forms of marriage were distinguished: the ordinary marriage of a young woman (ἐγγυήσεις, enguesis ) and the marriage of a widow who was to marry a relative of the deceased in order to preserve the family's inheritance (ἐπιδικασία, epidikasia ). The marriage consisted of a sequence of mostly purely secular ceremonies: every legally valid marriage had to be preceded by a solemn engagement, during which the dowry (προίξ, proíx ; φερνή, pherní ) was negotiated. Before the marriage, which usually took place in the married month of Gamelion , sacrifices were made to the patron gods of marriage - especially Zeus , Hera and Artemis - after which both bride and groom had to undergo a ritual bridal bath (λoυτρoφóρoϛ, loutrophoros ). On the actual wedding day, a wedding meal (θoίvη γαμιxή, thívi gamixí ) was held in the bride's parents' house . At nightfall the groom then led the bride home in a horse-drawn chariot, followed by a procession of friends and families; in other representations the whole procession moved on foot. In the house of the in-laws, the bride was received by the mother-in-law, received symbolic meals and unveiled herself for the first time in front of her new husband in the thalamos of the house. The next two days were dedicated to receiving wedding favors.

Rome

Contemporary depiction of a Roman wedding ceremony

In the Roman Empire , marriage was only associated with a contract if a dowry was to be handed over. A ceremony was not compulsory either. But when it did take place, the marriage was preceded, as in Greece, by an engagement in which gifts were exchanged and dowry agreed. The contract was sealed with a formal kiss ( osculum ). In the 2nd century, Aulus Gellius , in his only surviving work, Noctes Atticae, mentions the custom that the bride receives an engagement ring from the groom.

The marriage contract was signed on the day of the actual marriage. The protocol for the accompanying celebrations was based on the Greek tradition and provided for, among other things, a procession ( home tour or bringing the bride home , domum deductio ) and a large feast. Roman brides wore a white tunic recta and a complicated hairstyle made of pigtails ( tutulus ). Above that lay a possibly yellow- orange or red veil ( flammeum , also: maforte , mavorte ), which covered the tunic and head, but not the face. With Catullus it says: "Come, the flower of the lovely marjoram around the forehead", in the left the shining wedding veil, the white foot in the golden sandal ".

Judaism: Biblical and Talmudic Times

In Judaism , the purpose of marriage - the companionship of the couple - is laid down in both the Talmud and the Torah ( Genesis 2.7–24  EU , Ecclesiastes 4.9–12  EU ). The procedure for marriage is laid down in the Mishnah , which is part of the Torah . As an oral tradition, the Mishnah probably originated before the Babylonian exile (597-539 BC); it received its current written form in the early 3rd century AD.

engagement

According to the Mishnah, marriage is divided into two stages: engagement and marriage. On the eve of the engagement, the husband and wife underwent a ritual bath ( mikveh ) independently of one another . The engagement ( qiddushin , erusin ), the details of which are regulated in the tract Qiddushin , was primarily a legal transaction through which the bride “made available” for her groom with her consent and the prohibition of adultery and various other acts ( arayot , accordingly Leviticus 18  EU ; mamzerut , corresponding to Deuteronomy 23.2  EU and others). According to the wording of the treatise, the engagement can take place in three ways: through a gift of money to the woman, through a written declaration of intent to the woman or through sexual intercourse; the latter option was later rejected by the rabbis . Only in post-Talmudic times did it become customary for the husband to give the wife an undecorated gold wedding ring instead of the money when they got engaged ; In some regions, such as Yemen and Aleppo , the focus of the engagement is still the presentation of a symbolic coin. From the Talmudic period (324–638 AD) to the High Middle Ages, the marriage contract ( ketubba ) was signed and read out as part of the engagement, which regulates the man's duties and the woman's financial security in the event of divorce or widowhood were.

marriage

After the engagement the man should either devote himself to studying the Torah for about a year or create the economic conditions for the support of his future family; the bride should make her trousseau. Only then did they get married ( nisu'in , nissuin ), after which the newlyweds were also allowed to establish sexual relationships. The liturgy began with the "seven blessings" ( sheva brachot , treatise Ktubbot ), which were performed separately for the bride and groom in the Talmudic period. The use of the chuppah , the wedding canopy still in use today, is mentioned in the Gittin treatise , but found its way into the Jewish wedding ceremony in the Middle Ages at the earliest. The presence and participation of a rabbi was also not required before the 14th century. Some elements of the Jewish wedding liturgy, however, are very old, including the custom of the groom covering the bride's face with a veil ( coverken , hinuma ; Genesis 24 : 64–65  EU , Tract Ktubbot 17b) and breaking a wine glass (Tract Brachot 5: 2), which is intended to remind the bride and groom of the destruction of the Jerusalem temple (586 BC) even at the height of their personal happiness .

As in Greece and Rome, a bridal procession was common in Judaism; when the groom brought the bride home at night, the participants lit the procession with oil lamps and torches . The Christian New Testament documents this practice of the procession with the parable of the wise and foolish virgins ( Matthew 25 : 1-13  EU ) and adds that the wedding ended on a festive note when the groom left the party.

Germanic peoples

Wedding among the Teutons ( Jean-Pierre Saint-Ours , 1787)
Muntehe

For the Germanic peoples , Muntehe was the normal form of marriage. The marriage was agreed between the bridegroom and the bride's muntie (e.g. the father). In order to replace the violent relationship between the family and the bride under personal law (Muntgewalt), which played a major role in Germanic law , the groom gave a Muntschatz ( dos ). As in many parts of the ancient world, marriage among the Teutons was divided into engagement ( desponsatio ) and marriage ( traditio puellae ). Before that was the courtship .

At the center of the engagement was the conclusion of a legal contract, with which the Muntwalt undertook to transfer the bride and the Muntwalt to the groom; the groom paid at least one down payment from the Muntschatz ; the bride pledged her loyalty to the betrothed.

The wedding ceremony took place in the circle of the relatives and consisted of a series of legal formal acts (kneeling, kicking, hand grasping). Afterwards, the bride was brought home in a solemn procession of bridesmaids and bridesmaids to the groom's house to make the marriage publicly visible . The conclusion was a festive feast ( bridal beer ).

A marriage according to Germanic tradition is mentioned in the Nibelungenlied (approx. 1230), where Siegfried Kriemhild marries "according to custom" by taking her in his arms and kissing her.

Other forms of marriage

In addition to the Muntehe, the Germanic societies also knew the Friedelehe ; This can be demonstrated, for example, with Merovingian kings and Charlemagne . The Friedelehe is traditionally differentiated from the Muntehe in that it came about solely on the basis of the agreement of the spouses, i.e. also without consent from the wife's relatives. The only gift Friedel received from the bridegroom was the morning gift .

The words bride and groom

The nouns brût ( bride : the newlyweds on the wedding day; daughter-in-law; young woman, wife) and brûtigomo (bridegroom: the newlyweds on the wedding day; suitor) are only proven in Old High German times . However, comparisons with other languages ​​have shown that words such as brūdi- and brūdigumō- must have existed as early as Germanic times .

Early Christianity

Murillo : The Wedding at Cana (around 1672)

The Christian tradition of marriage, with its twofold division between engagement and marriage, developed from the Jewish tradition. The wedding at Cana , which occupies a prominent position in the New Testament because Jesus of Nazareth performed his first miracle here, was a Jewish wedding. There were married couples among the disciples , including Simon Peter ( Matthew 8 : 14–15  EU ).

Pro celibacy

The position of the early Church on marriage was extremely ambiguous. On the one hand, the early Christians were in the Jewish and Roman tradition, on the other hand, according to the traditional example of their founder and his Baptist John , they gave celibacy a high priority with regard to the kingdom of God that was already expected during their own lifetime and saw marriage only as a subordinate alternative for those believers for whom sexual renunciation is not possible ( 1 Cor 7 : 6-9  EU ).

Jesus himself used parables from the thematic area of ​​the wedding (of the great supper , places of honor at the wedding , of the wise and foolish virgins) and when the Pharisees asked him about his position on marriage, he referred them to Genesis 2:24  EU according to which women and men are united by God and are one inseparable flesh ( Mark 10.5–9  EU ). At the same time he preached turning away from the world and called on those who wanted to follow him to turn away from their wives and children ( Luke 14:26  EU ).

In 1 Corinthians Paul wrote : “Accordingly, whoever marries, does well; but whoever does not marry does better. ” The Montanist movement emerged around 160 AD , in the early third century Tertullian formulated comprehensive instructions for a chaste life in his work De exhortatione castitatis , and around 320/325 Pachomios founded the first Christian monasteries . Basil of Ancyra († around 365) criticized in his work De virginitate the practice of self -castration, which was apparently widespread in the early Christian community .

Pro marriage

Opposition to the rejection of marriage in the early Christian communities arose early on, for example in the First Letter to Clement , which the Roman bishop Clemens wrote to the community in Corinth at the end of the first century AD ; In it he criticized those who brag about their abstinence and reminded them that God created men and women for the purpose that they might be fruitful and multiply ( Genesis 9 :EU ). Tertullian († after 220) described certain of his Christian contemporaries who wanted to abolish marriage as heretics . Around the year 400 John Chrysostom criticized in his work De virginitate about those of his contemporaries who wanted to forbid marriage, and pointed out that the latter absorbed the “waves of desire” and thereby granted the believers “excellent rest and protection”.

Persistence of traditional customs

Special Christian wedding rituals initially played only a minor role in antiquity, and Christians only occasionally took advantage of the opportunity. Church weddings were not compulsory, and in 866 Pope Nicholas I expressly stated that renouncing church celebrations and blessings was not a sin.

Up until the Renaissance, the vast majority of couples married according to customary law, in accordance with the respective local laws, customs and traditions and without any ecclesiastical involvement. Many marriages came about completely informally and without witnesses simply because the man received a positive answer from her when asked whether the woman wanted to marry him. The derogatory term " Winkelehe " (also: Matrimonia clandestina ) came up only after the Roman Church tried to monopolize the marriage and ostracized, punished and pushed into secrecy.

Origin of the Christian wedding ritual

One of the earliest references to the liturgy of a Christian marriage can be found in Tertullian, who tells of a sequence of marriage, Eucharist and consecration ( benedictio nuptiarum ). From this basic liturgy, the bridal mass and numerous blessing rites later developed , which were initially handled very inconsistently.

Chrysostom, who was particularly interested in overcoming pagan customs, oriented himself in his search for models to the Old Testament or the marriage of Rebekah and Isaac ( Genesis 24  EU ): “See how nowhere a diabolical pompa [= Bridal procession ] , nowhere cymbals, flutes, choral dances, satanic convivia [= guest feasts ] and diatribes filled with indecentness appear; on the other hand there is all decency, all wisdom, all moderation! ” Bridal veil and bridal ring were already common among the Romans. Evidence that the Christians adopted these customs can be found for the first time with Ambrosius († 397) regarding the veil ( velamen sacerdotale ) and with Isidore († 636) regarding the bridal ring . Isidore interpreted the veil as an expression of the bride's modesty and her submission to the will of the husband. The first sacramentary that specifically provided for the communion of the bride and groom was the Sacramentarium Gelasianum (around 750). The following scripture lessons are given in the Liber Comicus Toletanus Teplensis (between the 7th and 9th centuries): Jeremiah 29.5–7  EU , 1. Corinthians 7.1–14  EU , Matthew 19.3–6  EU and John 2.1 –11  EU .

middle Ages

Christianity

Further development of Muntehe

The Muntehe, which was already widespread in Germanic times, continued to exist in the Middle Ages, and under the influence of the Church, the "endowed Muntehe" pushed back all the other forms of marriage that still existed since the 8th century. While the dowry in Germanic times mostly on the family or the Muntwalt the bride was paid, the bride was itself the recipient in Dotalehe; in the case of a widowhood, the gift now served as economic security.

Presumably in the early Middle Ages, the concept of the supplement emerged in Germanic law , but it was not written down until the High Middle Ages, e.g. in the Mühlhausen Imperial Law Book (1224/1231) in German-speaking countries . The couple's sexual intercourse on the wedding night thus became a constitutive part of the wedding even before the marriage was Christianized. After the bridal night, the woman received the morning gift from the man by which she was recognized as a lawful wife. The custom of the morning gift came from the practice of the Friedelehe , but then also became common for the Muntehe, where the gift was added to the dos .

The word marriage

The Germanic word for the household, reconstructed on the basis of language comparisons, was hīwa- * ; in Old High German the verb hīwen * emerged from this and in Middle High German finally hîwe, hîje, hîe . Until the High Middle Ages, these were the relevant verbs used to describe marriage. Already in Old High German, the compound hīrāt emerged , the second component of which rāt means something like "armament", "facility", "foundation". Initially, Middle High German referred to the hîrât (masculine) the orderly conjugal household or household effects and only later the marriage and marriage. According to another source, the word referred to the homecoming (ahd. Heimleiti ) of the bride, which since the Germanic times formed the ritual core of all marriages regardless of the form of marriage.

The noun marriage does not appear in Luther's translation of the Bible (1545) , the verb marry only occurs occasionally ( 1 Corinthians 7:38  LUT ); In addition, Luther also uses the verb to be married ( Genesis 25.7  EU , Proverbs 30.23  EU ).

Canon law perspective: marriage as contractio and consummatio

The canonical regulation of marriage took place in many individual steps: first through the canons passed at councils , which in the High Middle Ages were then combined to form the Corpus Iuris Canonici .

contractio

In Christianity, marriage has the character of a contract, a concept that was adopted from Roman law and was adapted for Christianity by church fathers such as Augustine and Chrysostom in ancient times. As a practical consequence, there was not only the requirement of consent for the marriage, but also the freedom of form. Even after the sacramentalization of marriage, the Roman theologians assumed that the bride and groom administered the sacrament themselves and that the priest was only a qualified witness. Engagement and marriage basically come about when both bride and groom agree to the marriage. The marriage ceremony given by the groom and bride has been the focus of the Christian rite ever since.

consummatio

The attitude of the church to the consummation of marriage has definitely changed over the centuries. Thus the fourth council of Carthage (398) still decided: “In order to receive the blessing of the priest, the groom and bride should be led by their parents or by bridesmaids (bridesmaids) and after receiving the blessing out of awe of the same, the first night in persist in virginity. "

A marriage, which among Christians has always been understood as the threshold for the exercise of legitimate sexuality, was concluded through contractio (marriage contract, marriage vows) and consummatio (consummation of marriage). With this the bride and groom had given themselves the sacrament of marriage. Because enforcement was necessary for the marriage to be legally valid, it was sometimes carried out under witnesses or documented by "evidence". In general, however, the rebuttable legal presumption of the execution of the marriage was valid from the point in time at which the groom “brought his bride home” and took him in. Since a divorce was unthinkable, the marriage could only be dissolved if there was evidence of the lack of a prerequisite for the marriage, i.e. the marriage was invalid from the outset (see nullity ). Otherwise a “separation of table and bed” was possible, but remarriage of the separated partner with a new partner was impossible.

Prehistory of the churchization of marriage

One of the first authors to call for a Christianization of marriage was the apostolic father Ignatius of Antioch , who wrote in his letter to Polycarp of Smyrna in the second century : “It is proper that the bridegroom and bride enter into the union with the approval of the bishop , so that marriage is in the spirit of God and not in accordance with sensual desire. Everything is done for God's glory. ” The demand for a Christian marriage with Tertullian († after 220), who put the marriage covenants not made in front of the church on the same level as adultery and fornication , becomes much sharper . A strict command of the blessing of the marriage by a priest was followed by Pope Hormisdas († 523).

As the anthropologist Joseph Henrich has shown, from the 6th century onwards the Roman Catholic Church in the Western Roman Empire pursued a rigorous marriage and family program, the main aim of which was to smash the powerful clans . Until then, these had to a large extent bound the loyalty of their members. To gain loyalty to one's cause, the Church prohibited cousin marriages, incest, and divorce. From 1003 onwards, not even 6th cousins were allowed to marry in the Holy Roman Empire . Families shrank almost everywhere in Western Europe. As a result of the marriage restrictions, more and more believers remained childless and bequeathed their property to the church.

In the year 780 Charlemagne prescribed by law that a marriage was only valid if the bride and groom were blessed with prayers and the Eucharist ( Latin: precibus et oblationibus ) according to the old custom .

Sacramentalization of marriage

The church father Augustine (354-430) had already laid the foundations for a sacramentalization of marriage. In his work De bono coniugali (401) he placed Christian marriage on the foundation of three elements: proles (children), fides (loyalty) and sacramentum (marriage as a sacrament , as a visible sign of an invisible divine reality).

However, seven centuries passed before this actually happened. The first official church document in which marriage was referred to as a sacrament originated at the Second Lateran Council (1139); confirmation followed at the Council of Verona (1184). The new status of marriage became completely undisputed when in 1274 at the Second Council of Lyons the seven number of the sacraments was established.

Further development of the Christian rite

In the twelfth century, the main religious ceremony consisted of men and women exchanging blessings and prayers; the priest appeared only to witness the couple's agreements. This changed fundamentally after the sacramentalization. The priest took over the direction of the ceremony and a solid ritual arose, as it has been preserved in the core to the present day.

Bridal wedding ceremony
Bridal Gate ( Wiener Neustadt Cathedral , inaugurated in 1279)

The beginning of the new casualie was marked by the bride gate wedding, a wedding ceremony on the church square in facie ecclesiae ; This procedure, which has been common at least since the 10th century, had its origins in the Norman-Anglo-Saxon area and spread from there to other areas of the West. The rite, led by the priest, comprised prayers, inquiries about the will to marry, entrusting the bride and groom to each other, presenting the groom's gifts (ring, sometimes coins and / or marriage certificate) to the bride and a final request for blessing. This was followed by a bridal mass in the church. Until the end of the 14th century, however, the privilege of a legally concluded marriage was only used by nobles .

Contingent

Since the fourth Lateran Council (1215) it was mandatory that the priest publicly announce a planned wedding; The purpose of the levy was to gain time, for any impediments to marriage - to identify - about an existing marriage. After the introduction of civil marriage in the 19th century, the registry offices took over the practice in Germany; it was not finally abolished until 1998.

Special form: marriage by proxy

Since the 12th century, proxy weddings (“gloves”, proxy marriages ) have been documented. One of the earliest examples is the fall of Isabella II of Jerusalem (1212-1228), who was married to the imperial procurator Bishop Jacob von Patti in August 1225 in the Holy Cross Cathedral in Acre and was then crowned in Tire before she was in November of the same year in Brindisi with her actual husband, Emperor Friedrich II . Representative weddings only occurred in the high nobility when the bride, who had to be embarked from a distant country, was chosen for political reasons. The regulation was part of canon law and had already existed in late Roman law. The glove marriage achieved literary fame through the Tristan and Isolde fabric, the earliest surviving written versions of which date from the 12th century.

The words marriage and wedding

The verb hîwe, hîje, hîe was replaced in the High Middle Ages by the new expression “wed”. Until then, the verb (mhd. Mahele , mehele ) had the meaning “to summon to court”, “to judge”, but from the first half of the 12th century it was also used in the sense of “betrothed, married” ( Millstätter handwriting ) . The noun marriage (mhd. Máhelunge , méhelunge ) can be found in the biography of Elisabeth of Thuringia (1257). The noun Gemahl (ahd. Gi-mahalo , mhd. Gemahel : “betrothed”, “bridegroom”), on the other hand, had already existed in Old High German.

In 1044, the word wedding (mhd. Hôchzît ) only referred to spiritual festivals such as Christmas , Easter , Pentecost and All Saints' Day . The first evidence for the reference of the word to the celebration associated with a marriage can be found in Albrecht von Eyb's marriage booklet in 1472 . A decade later, the word is also used to denote marriage itself.

Modern times

Christianity: Tametsi decree and churchization of marriage

One of the most important milestones in the history of Christian marriage is the Tametsi decree , which was passed in 1563 at the 24th session of the Council of Trent . It stated that marriages that take place without church participation are recognized as full marriages in canon law, but that the church abhor and forbid such marriages. The background to the ban was the concern that people could marry multiple times; consequently, the mandatory mobilization introduced in 1215 was confirmed once again in the Tametsi decree.

In the last quarter of the 16th century, the word marriage appeared in German for the first time in today's sense.

For a long time, most of the bride and groom were officially young men and virgins before the wedding . In older marriage entries in the church register , the term virgin (abbreviated J.) was generally used for the bride , as long as the pastor was not convinced otherwise. Otherwise the bride was referred to as "deflorata" or (if she was pregnant) even "impraegnata", and the wedding took place "on prescription" or "in silence", whereby the name of the bride's father is often missing in the marriage entry ( see also dead point ).

Marriage in the Protestant Church

After the Reformation, was first of the secular authorities in Protestant areas, with the Council of Trent then by the Catholic Church public religious ceremony by the minister and in front of witnesses as a mandatory form of marriage established ( form mandatory ). This began the exclusive competence of the churches for marriage. The churches also became the sole legal and moral authorities in marriage and family matters. This phase ended with the introduction of civil marriage in the 19th century.

Ecclesiastical and civil marriage

The first country in modern times to introduce civil - that is, not religious, but legal - marriage was the First French Republic in 1792 . Prussia and Switzerland followed in 1874, the entire German Empire in 1875 , and finally Austria in 1938 - under German occupation . Since the Council of Trent, the churches had been obliged to keep marriage records . With the introduction of civil marriage , registry offices and civil registry offices were set up, which since then not only register the civil marriage, which has become mandatory, but also conduct the wedding itself. The greatest benefit to citizens of the secularization of marriage was initially that it made interdenominational marriages possible; In 1987 more than 84.5% of all West Germans were members of a Christian church. Same-sex couples have also been able to get married in Germany since 2017; Austria followed in 2018; in Switzerland there is currently only the possibility of a registered partnership (since 2007).

The legal term marriage can be proven in German at least since 1784.

In Germany, civil marriage was mandatory from 1875 to 2008 , which means that only civilly married couples were allowed to marry in church. Anyone who went to the church wedding without having been married in a civil ceremony committed an administrative offense. The churches continue to demand civil weddings, at least in normal cases, because church weddings before civil weddings in cases of danger of death and moral emergency were recognized as "emergency weddings".

Civil marriage in modern times

Bridal couple around 1900, Upper Swabia
Bridal couple around 1935, Barcelona , Spain

The civil marriage is a business-like ceremony in which the registrar records personal details, makes a wedding speech, asks the fiancé whether they want to marry each other, reads the marriage protocol and asks the bride and groom to sign the marriage certificate; Before the minutes are read out, the wedding rings can also be changed if desired. The place of marriage is usually a hall in the registry office; Increasingly, however, the option of having the wedding ceremony carried out at a location of one's own choice is also being used.

A special form of marriage was the long-distance marriage, which was possible during the Second World War . The soldier deployed at the front was not personally present. In some cases it even led to marriages with the deceased, as news of the soldier's death did not always reach the registry office.

During the division of Germany was in the former East Germany , the Socialist marriage alternative advocated for church wedding. Initially, the civil ceremony took place in a festive setting with music etc. in a cultural center or in the business of the spouse, with the manager or party secretary giving a speech. After the wedding, the bride and groom visited a memorial or memorial for the fallen Soviet soldiers, where they laid the bridal bouquet as a sign of solidarity and loyalty to the state.

Present trends

Relationship of the marriage to the establishment of the partnership

While marriage traditionally also establishes the coexistence of spouses, it has become largely common in the countries of the western world today that couples only marry after they have already had a long love relationship or partnership with one another, often in the same household. In Great Britain, for example, when couples get married, they have lived together for an average of 3.5 years; only every tenth couple does not begin to work from a common budget until after marriage.

Church wedding as an additional option

Many Christian couples marry first in a civil ceremony and then in church. In Germany, the share of church weddings in 2015 was 22.5%. Not only in Germany, Austria and Switzerland, but also in other countries with compulsory civil marriage (e.g. Benelux countries, France, Romania, Russia), the civil ceremony preceding the church wedding is mandatory.

Language regulations

The word wedding is derived from high time (festival time), the word marriage from mutual trust . Until same-sex marriage is introduced, "marriage" is also used to signify a registered partnership .

Married

The adjective "married" is the legal expression for the marital status of spouses. Being married is one of several possible family statuses . The term is grammatically derived from the verb “to marry”, but is only applied to married people, not to life partners.

Civil partnership

In 2002 it was still open whether the terms marriage and marry also apply to entering into a registered partnership , or whether it is better to partner there . Marriage and getting married is also used by some journalists for entering into a registered partnership . After the Lesbian and Gay Association in Germany (LSVD) initially followed this view, it now also uses the term partner . Even Volker Beck and Alliance 90 / The Greens , the Left Party , other journalists and publishers use it. Opponents of the legal equality of same-sex couples like Wuestenstrom reject the designation marriage for couples according to the civil partnership law. In some countries, on the other hand , same-sex marriages are legally equated with heterosexual ones, so that the term marriage is used regardless of gender.

Partnering

To clarify or to differentiate from entering into marriage, the LSVD uses the term partnership . The German law contains in addition to the family stands single , married , widowed and divorced yet another, however designated unspecified by law marital status for those in a civil partnership life. In the registration system, the abbreviations LP are used for partnered (civil partnership), LA for unpartnert (civil partnership canceled) and LV for surviving partner (life partner deceased).

Marriages in a Christian area

wedding

According to the German dictionary of the Brothers Grimm (from 1838), the word marriage comes from loyalty as well as contract loyalty and from trust, such as the trust of the bride and groom in one another. It acquired its full meaning for the personal act of trust between the bride and groom, the ceremony and the legal act of marriage. The term marriage has been used since around the 13th century and originally meant the "entrusting" of a woman to the husband. Today it primarily describes the ritual of marriage as such, also in the form of a church wedding or other religious celebration. The marriage ceremony is the act with which the marriage begins. A distinction is made between civil, church and free weddings , the latter two having no legal significance.

Church wedding

Roman Catholic Church
Knee bench and chairs for a church wedding (Unterallgäu, 2007)
Evangelical wedding in Cologne ( Reformation Church
in Cologne-Bayenthal , 2007)

Due to the separation of church and state in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, France, Sweden and certain other countries, church weddings are only relevant under canon law . In the United Kingdom , Ireland , Spain , Poland , Italy and countries with state churches (such as Greece and Denmark ), church weddings also apply under civil law.

In most denominations, marriage can only be concluded between a man and a woman. Where necessary (as in Germany until the reform of the civil status law ), the couple must have already been married in a civil ceremony (see prohibition of religious marriage in advance ). According to the teaching of the Catholic Church, the bride and groom donate the sacrament of marriage to one another and this is only valid with the assistance of a cleric at the wedding (see Council of Trent, Session XXIV ). The Protestant Church understands the church wedding as a divine service on the occasion of the marriage which has already taken place, in which the conjugal community is placed under God's word and blessing. Church weddings take place almost exclusively in church rooms. There are exceptions where another location (such as outdoors) is approved. If you do not marry in your own parish, you need the consent of the responsible pastor, who has to issue a dimissorial .

A catholic wedding in India

Catholic weddings usually take place as part of a Holy Mass with Eucharistic celebration , in which the bride and groom also take communion together .

Basically, a church wedding requires that both spouses belong to a church and one partner is a member of the denomination in whose church the wedding is to be carried out. In the case of partners of different denominations, it is up to the pastor or the local church community leadership to decide whether the couple can still be married. If a Catholic does not want to marry a non-Catholic partner in a Catholic marriage, but rather in a rite of another denomination or, in the case of marriages with non-Christians, only as a civil ceremony, he must obtain a dispensation from the bishop through the local pastor .

If one of the partners is Catholic or Protestant and both want a so-called “ecumenical wedding”, registration takes place at both parish offices. Depending on which of the two churches the wedding is to take place in, a pastor of the other denomination will be asked for assistance. In the Protestant Church, the “ecumenical marriage” is a Protestant wedding with the participation of a Catholic clergyman - and vice versa. (An exception applies to the area of ​​the Archdiocese of Freiburg and the Evangelical Church in Baden, where there is the option of an ecumenical wedding according to Form C. )

Much of the customs that are associated with church weddings have no Christian roots. Bridal veils and wedding rings come from the Jewish tradition; The latter became part of the Christian wedding liturgy as a symbol of unbreakable loyalty as early as Roman times. The wedding kiss has its origin in Roman contract law and does not even appear in the Christian liturgy. White wedding dresses became popular all over the world after the British Queen Victoria married “all in white” in 1840 with great public sympathy. On the other hand, the consummation of marriage on the wedding night is not a mere custom, but of fundamental importance under canon law . Since the Catholic Church has established the generation and upbringing of offspring as the primary purpose of marriage in its law ( Codex Iuris Canonici ), a marriage in the full canonical sense does not exist until sexual intercourse has taken place between the spouses .

A Protestant wedding in Finland
Protestantism

His dissenting view of marriage is one of the most important reasons why Martin Luther distanced himself from the Roman Church. In addition to the creation of children and the channeling of sexual desire, marriage in Protestantism therefore also has the central purpose of giving people a companion and helper. Since marriage is nowhere described as a divine act of grace in the New Testament , Luther doubted its sacramental status.

The ritual of the ceremony can differ in the details between different denominational communities and also from congregation to congregation; As in the Catholic Church, however, in a Protestant marriage the focus is on establishing the marriage consensus in front of the priest and witnesses (yes, promise of marriage).

Orthodox churches
An Orthodox wedding in the Czech Republic

In the Orthodox churches marriage is considered a holy mystery, which corresponds roughly to the Catholic sacrament. The basis of the orthodox position on marriage is Ephesians 5: 21–33  EU , where the relationship between man and woman is equated with the relationship between Christ and the Church : just as Christ gives himself completely to the Church, the man should live entirely for the woman; just as the church submits to Christ, so should women submit to men. The core of the Orthodox rite is the coronation of the bride and groom by the priest; The crown here has a double symbolic meaning: on the one hand, it stands for the imitation of Jesus , which the couple who devoted themselves to one another follows (in his martyrdom , Christ wore the crown of thorns ), on the other hand, it also refers to Christ's kingdom , to which the newlyweds through his devotion partake. In Orthodox theology of marriage, the wedding at Cana ( Jn 2 : 1–12  EU ) is more important than in Catholicism , because Christ's presence and miracles are here as highlighting the basically everyday fact of a marriage from the profane and as theirs Sanctification understood. Correspondingly, the function of the priest is central in the Orthodox rite: marriage alone is established by his blessing. Unlike in Catholicism and Protestantism, marriage in the Orthodox Churches does not have the character of a contract between the bride and groom; therefore they do not give each other a word of consent or vows in the ceremony.

Church blessing and marriage of same-sex couples

In many Christian churches today same-sex couples can marry in full, in others blessing services are possible; the latter depends, among other things, on whether the local pastor is ready for a blessing. See the main articles above for details.

Civil marriage

Official sign in NRW

According to German family law (part of civil law ), marriage or marriage is the legal transaction through which a marriage is established. The marriage is a formal contract: the declarations of intent must be made in front of a registrar . Mayors can also perform weddings if they have been appointed registrar by their local council. This is handled differently from country to country. In Bavaria, for example, this is customary without any further requirements. B. only occasionally and only if the mayor has acquired the appropriate qualification and has passed the same examination as all registrars. Representation is not permitted. In the interests of legal certainty, the consequences of a lack of knowledge or lack of will are specifically regulated so that the general provisions, in particular on contestation , are suppressed.

In many countries (such as Germany, Switzerland and Austria) only civil marriage is legally binding. This is a purely formal matter with no major ceremony. However, since more and more couples are only getting married in Germany, many communities offer correspondingly large rooms for the entire wedding party. Wedding customs like throwing rice then take place in front of the registry office. As a rule, civil weddings may only take place in public buildings. Registration usually takes place at a registry office in the municipality where the place of residence is registered. For the registration, documents such as a valid identity card , extract from the birth register , family book copies in case of any previous occurrences and a certificate of residence from the main residence are required. The implementation can usually also take place in other suitable institutions in the same country. In addition to normal business hours, many registry offices also offer a wedding on Saturday.

Civil weddings are also open to homosexual couples in some countries (e.g. Germany or Denmark). In Switzerland, on the other hand, homosexual couples can register their partnership, which in many respects amounts to marriage. Formally, however, this is not a marriage, but a certification of the partnership (Art. 75i ZStV).

Free wedding ceremony

A free wedding is a private ceremony that takes place independently of a church or civil wedding. It offers couples with no or different denominations, same-sex couples, but also all other couples the opportunity to design a solemn wedding ceremony individually with any elements. In Germany and Switzerland, free weddings are neither binding under church nor civil law.

Free weddings are offered by free theologians, secular-humanistic celebratory speakers and free wedding speakers, but they can also be carried out entirely independently.

Situation outside of the German-speaking area

American couples can sign their civil marriage papers with the priest.

In many countries the civil marriage is established at the same time as the religious ceremony. In the United States, for example, not only community administrators ( registrars ), but also rabbis, church officials, imams, and justices of the peace are entitled to perform weddings that are fully binding under civil law. In some American states , e.g. B. California , it is even possible to provide any private person with a temporary marriage authorization. The situation is similar in the United Kingdom , where, in addition to priests and parish officials, etc. a. also members of Humanists UK and freelance service providers ( wedding celebrants ) are eligible for grapes. In many other countries around the world (e.g. Israel , Vatican State ), however, getting married always requires a religious ceremony.

Secular customs in the Christian cultural area

Around the Christian marriage there are numerous wedding customs, some of them very old, in the western world, which have little to do with the religious core of marriage. The hen or Walgerabend on the eve of the wedding, for example, is documented as early as the late Middle Ages. The expression “ honeymoon ” for the time when the newlyweds are intensely in love can be traced back to German at least as early as the 16th century. Celebrating marriage anniversaries such as the golden wedding became customary in middle-class families by the end of the 18th century at the latest. Honeymoon trips have been documented in the German-speaking area since at least the middle of the 19th century, although this custom, as a further development of the Grand Tour, was initially typical for bourgeois artists.

Wedding anniversaries

It is common for a specific marriage duration to be celebrated with a new celebration. The most famous of these anniversaries are the “Silver Wedding” after 25 years and the “Golden Wedding” after 50 years and the Diamond Wedding after 60 years. Other anniversaries and their meanings vary depending on the region. The so-called grace wedding, where the couple has been married for 70 years, occurs very rarely.

Marriages outside the Christian cultural area

See also:

Islamic wedding tradition

Muslim bridal couple in Indonesia

In Islam , celibacy is not encouraged, marriage is very important; their purpose is seen in that man and woman find fellowship with one another, love one another, bring forth children and follow the commandments of Allah together . Because religion is preserved through the family, marriage is a central duty for every believer. The founder of the religion Mohammed (d. 632) had more than ten wives in the course of his life, with whom he lived partly in monogamy and partly in polygamy . The view that Allah permits plural marriage - even if only as an exception - goes back to an interpretation of the third verse of the 4th sura of the Koran , which is also controversial within Islamic theology .

Despite its immense importance for the continued existence of the religion, marriage is not a spiritual bond in the understanding of Islam, but a simultaneously social and civil law contract ( nikāḥ ). The bride can claim a bridal gift ( al-mahr ) from the groom , which remains in her possession during the entire marriage period as security in the event of a divorce. If the bride or groom are not yet of legal age, they will be represented by a marriage guardian when negotiating the bridal gift . The details of the Islamic marriage are for the most part regulated in the 4th sura. The Nikah usually takes place on a small scale, for example in a mosque or in the parents' house of the bride or groom; it does not include a religious rite and it is very short. The focus is on the signing of the Nikah contract by men and women; the presence of a legal scholar and at least two male witnesses is required.

The hands of a Bengali bride painted with henna

For the subsequent wedding reception, which is often attended by hundreds of guests, families who can afford it usually book a hotel room today. The traditions for the often extensive festival program around the Nikah are very much decided from country to country. In Saudi Arabia about the ceremony will geschlechtersegregiert place in two separate halls with elaborate professional entertainment. The focus of an Indonesian wedding reception, on the other hand, is a procession of the wedding guests into the hall, a variety of speeches and the individual congratulations of the couple by all those invited; Women and men celebrate together. In Turkey , marriage is traditionally preceded by a henna evening , on which the female relatives, neighbors and friends say goodbye to the bride; the hands of the bride, whose head is covered with a red cloth that evening, are painted with henna . Similar customs exist in other Muslim cultures. Like Judaism and Christianity, Islam also knows engagement. The use of engagement or wedding rings, on the other hand, is traditionally not common among Muslims.

Modern Judaism

An Israeli bride is accompanied to the chuppah by her parents.

In Judaism, engagement and marriage have been combined in a single ritual since the 12th century. The bride and groom are brought together by their parents and perform the multi-part wedding ritual under the chuppah , the traditional Jewish wedding canopy, under the moderation of a rabbi or cantor . This includes, among other things, the bride going around the groom seven times, who is supposed to protect her husband in the future, drinking wine together, putting the wedding ring on the bride's finger and breaking a wine glass. The bride circling the groom seven times under the chuppah ( hakkafot ) is not documented before 1430. At the latest when Rabbi Aaron ben Jacob ha-Kohen wrote his influential work Orḥot Ḥayyim (before 1327), it was common for both bride and groom to wear white clothes. The bride still wears white today. Since the chuppah represents the bridal chamber, the synagogue, and especially the area in front of the Torah shrine, is not considered a suitable space for a wedding; The preferred places for Jewish marriages are traditionally the house of the groom's parents or the outside area of ​​the synagogue. Nowadays, many Jewish couples get married in a hotel room.

See also

literature

Web links

Commons : Wedding Ceremonies  - Collection of Images
Wiktionary: marriage  - explanations of meanings, word origins, synonyms, translations

Individual evidence

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